The sinking light receding away too soon
Juxtaposed by deceivingly warm colors
Ellune lay in repose looking at pale moon
Composed but tepid tears were welling unobvious
Then shadow whispered, menancingly bold and furious
And she arose, increasingly cold and curious
"Imposed on thee, lady, with untimely visit
Devoid of warmth, we are, and similarly our spirit
Conquered by hate, you mar, but savingly that is your merit
Void in your soul, still tiringly on you would go
Avoid love's mould, then increasingly strong you will grow."
tried to make every lines sentence structure and first to last words flow equally.. any mistakes? by any chance better than the last poem?
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=forum_display&forum_id=1503