Studies have shown that humans, like other primates, possess an instinctive urge to "mirror" each other, so when you grin at someone, they tend to grin back. People decode signals to determine if we have positive intentions toward them, says Sanders, and more than half of those signals are visual — a smile says, "I like you," while looking away causes someone to withdraw from you emotionally. Bottom line: Saying it with a smile can make anyone that much more receptive to you.
Too shy to automatically beam at everyone? "Start small — smile at children or even dogs, then keep it going with adults who look friendly and receptive," suggests Linda Kaplan Thaler, CEO of the Kaplan Thaler Group ad agency and coauthor of The Power of Nice. In time, you'll be grinning with confidence at everyone you meet.
Get Personal
E-mail is a great way to keep in touch, but when you need to communicate something important — good or bad — do it in person, or at least over the phone, says Sanders. An online dialogue can't fully convey how you feel, what you intend, or your irresistible qualities, like that infectious laugh of yours. In fact, new research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people overestimate their ability to demonstrate humor, sadness, and other emotions via e-mail. Your voice and gestures, by contrast, clue people in to the real you, including the feelings behind your words. When it comes to displaying your winning personality, there's simply no substitute for the human touch.
Tune In
Ever notice how some people have a way of making you feel like you're the most interesting person on the planet? They seem riveted by your every word, they laugh like crazy at your jokes — and as a result, their company is completely intoxicating. "Highly likable people learn how to dial into the passions and feelings of other people, and make a valuable connection," says Sanders. "When you connect with what I say, you validate me — which makes me feel great and want to spend more time with you." To build rapport with others, reflect their mood with your body language. For instance, if someone seems down, project gentle sympathy by nodding and leaning forward. "Physical feedback is a subtle way of saying, 'I get you,'" Thaler notes.
What you say can have a similar effect: Ask questions or make comments that show you're listening (such as, "It sounds like your date went really well!" and "How did you feel when he said that to you?") and you'll demonstrate that you're sincerely invested in what the speaker has to say next — which always makes you good company.
From:MSN.com