Hi,
By the time you read this I would most likely be screaming at my assistant to help me type this story, being proficient in 5 languages, namely Hokkien, Teochew, Hokkien, Cantonese, and Hokkien. Did I mention Hokkien?
Anyway, my day starts usually by me calling up the damn supplier and ordering 100kg of succulent live prawns. The prawns would always arrive fresh, whole, and jumping, though there would always be one or two that looks as though they understand what is happening to them..hmmm.. what is a man to do? I have three kids to feed and the prawns form part of my livelihood, as patrons would arrive and snatch up the prawns as part of the steamboat buffet... yes the prawns are one of the most popular food among the local buffet patrons.
Sometimes we have BBQ buffet and thats when things get tough for the prawns. We have to scoop the prawns up, and skewer them from the tail to the head. Sometimes we miss going skewering the prawn straight through and we need to withdraw the satay stick and redo it again. One of my ex employees was fired for sadistically skewering the same prawn 78 times while humming to the tune of Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata". I fired him as I could not stand the off key humming. It was supposed to be hummed in Cminor not Dmajor. Damn. There were instances when my over-active imagination when I could actually hear the prawn scream in pain. But these were usually drowned out by the loud Hokkien songs I play in the background, and by my own incessant cursing at my assistant. I would then watch with satisfaction as the patrons either BBQ them live, or submerge them in hot soup, turning them from grey to red either way. Sometimes I would catch a prawn or two staring balefully at me, before some hungry soul would rip their head off their carapace and deshell them, relishing the sweet meat beneath. The aroma of BBQed and cooked prawns would fill the air when the restaurant is in full swing, and I would walk around savouring every bit of it.
With the economy looking up, I intend to order more prawns for my restaurant as they would be more in demand as the patrons get richer. Also not to forget more satay sticks to skewer them with.
For patrons reading this, you are entitled to a 20% discount if you visit my steamboat and BBQ buffet restaurant at Marina South. You can recognise it by the huge prawn signage I put up yesterday to reflect the popularity of the prawns in my shop.
I have a last favor to ask. I am missing one tiger prawn. Its the one that looked balefully at me through its aquarion tank last night. It also looked internet savvy though I know that sounds impossible....If you happen to see it please inform me. There would be an additional 5% discount for its lucky finder.
Forget about it. I'm not a sheep. I dont eat grass forever and go baaaahhh.
