A story to share...
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This is the story of a brave soul who had moved on...
Please do take some time to read through this blog...
http://ian-l.livejournal.com/ -
An entry to share...
Today, I'll be going to Mediacorp to be interviewed by.....
I shall not disclose details yet until the time is right.
A little tip, it's got something to do with this Blog & the illness.
.....*hush*........
Do look out for more here............
Next week, I will also give a public testimony at Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH).
Throughout my whole course of treatment, I have asked myself many times if I wanna become more public about my condition.
If I do step out, it will not be for fame, attention or sympathy. I can achieve that by many other ways.
Eventually by coming forth, I know that it will all come with social responsibilities.
There will be expectations for me to behave a certain way as a role model or public person.
I do it for more cancer awareness.
Perhaps someone is going thru a similar situation and they can relate to my story.
If I can positively influence or inspire someone in any way, then I feel I am doing a good thing. -
Another entry...
Was admitted on 21st Feb & just discharged for home on Tues, 6th March.
This 3rd round of chemo has again taken its toll on me.
These drugs must be real strong cos I've been getting fever after EVERY cycle of this new regime.
There was a point the fever reached 39*C plus!
Again, they had to put me on a antibiotic drip for a week.
I slept thru round the clock the next few days from morn til nite......
On at least 2 days I went without any food & didn't eat at all.
The nurses were worried..... they propped me up on the bed & weaned me on Ensure milk supplement to make sure I still get some nutrients.
Over the next few days, the fever went away & my temperature dip to normal.
But my cell count also dipped extremely low..... which made me neutropenic again!
Same protocol.
Transfered to a Isolation room.
Continue to monitor body temperature.
Wait......and wait somemore... for cell count to increase before I can be released for home.
They also did a CT scan on me to see how I am responding to the drugs & also to see the condition of the lung infection.
Thank God it was a favourable report from the scan!
The 3 tumors have somewhat decreased in size and the lung infection seems to be clearing up.
BUT.....(the catch here) is I need to be on this drug called Voriconazole* for the next 6 months.
The fungal infection in my lungs, my Doc says is serious, and may take me out faster than the cancer itself.
The issue now is that this drug costs $250 a tab. (I'm Not Joking)
I need 2 tabs a day, so that's $500 a day.
Do your maths and you'll know that it'll cost me $15,000 a month.
Multiply that by 6 months and you'll have $90,000.
$90K for a drug just to clean up the lung infection....... or my life.......
My MSW (Medical Social Worker) is not confident that LLF is gonna cover such a huge amount.
LLF has helped me last year with $32K and another $30K this year so far...
That's already more than $60K.
We've put in another application for the upcoming 2nd transplant and that's still pending approval.
LLF has already helped me a lot but they also have other patients to help too.
There are also issues about pharmaceutical companies producing a drug like Voriconazole that has such a small demand.
Only a very select number of patients need these drugs.
Therefore only small quantities are produced.
But they need to cover the costs of Research & Development that goes into it.
Panadol.. is a different story altogether.
It is produced in large quantities cos there is a high demand for it all the time.
You can buy a whole strip of tabs off the counter for like.. a dollar or so.
And everyone consumes them & they have surplus stored in their drug kit just in case.
Its all about supply & demand.
My other option is to look for generic drugs by other pharmaceutical companies that may be cheaper alternatives.
I was told by a friend that some generic drugs in Bangkok or Malaysia can be cheaper by almost half of the original.
Its like.... you buy a $2500 Chanel handbag but you find the same thing in say...Zara for about $250.
(You get the idea)
These generic drugs are not fakes. Its still the real deal though only God knows if they work as well as the original.
Just like paracetemol is manufactured under many different brand names.
Panadol may be the preferred choice of most, but we can still get cheaper alternatives by Guardian, Watsons or watever.
At this point, I am being tested to the extreme
- physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually.
Morale has dipped a bit & I've become battle weary.
(Though I know there's still a fighter in me. One who still wants to live Life. One who still believes he will get healed)
God knows how long this whole ordeal is gonna last....
I really don't know what God's plans are for me.
But I only know that His plans are always best.
Each day, each moment... (It's not easy but) I try to continue to trust in my God.
His word says "My Grace is sufficient for you"
and He says He will provide.
I Amen to that! -
Another entry...
The tests results have been reviewed by my Doc & medical team.
Its 'All Systems Go' as they confirm the schedules for my admission dates, pre-chemo & transplant etc.
I will be admitting on Thurs, 12th of April.
Pre-chemo will run from 13th to 17th of April.
This super strong chemo runs for 5 days, will wipe out the entire marrow to prepare it for its new occupants.
(I remember one nurse good-humoredly says...
"Its like Noah's Ark. You wipe out the old, bad guys.. & put in the new, good guys!" LOL)
I have a rest day on the 18th, though they will need to install a line on my neck for the infusion.
Transplant Day is on 19th of April.
They made me sign a contract (standard protocol again) stating that I've been explained the procedure, side effects, all the risks involved & that my Life may be 'at risk',..... 'at stake',.......... 'on the line'........
Oh heck.... (spell it out in black & white).......there is a possibility I may lose my Life.
This is the statistics of stem cell / bone marrow transplant.
10% don't make it...
and most of them from allogenic (donor) transplants due to cell rejection.
(Autologous transplants are very straight forward. Though there are also risks, its very different from allogenic transplants)
To me these are NOT just statistics!
Coincidentally there are 10 rooms in the High Dependency Transplant ward.
Every 2 to 3 weeks, a new patient gets transplanted.
Each one represents ONE Life!
These statistics tell me that... every 2 to 3 wks, out of these 10 ppl, ONE doesn't make it out of here alive!!
I've walked these doors myself and I get to know some of these patients.
And sadly, I personally knew these ppl.... who never walked OUT of those doors..... *sobs*
(Do you 'SEE' thru my eyes?)
To ME, these are NOT just numbers!.... that you read about in the papers...
They are Lifes!! -
omg so sad...hope he rest in peace
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RIP.
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brave guy..
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he will beOriginally posted by darkfuryex:omg so sad...hope he rest in peace -
May God Bless the person ... =x
i got a story to share too =x
http://lilooking.myweb.hinet.net/looking.htm
Sorry for not being national friendly T-T its in chinese text T-T -
Wow.. I am truly inspired by this man..
True courage and bravery indeed.
*salutes*
Hope you rest in peace my friend. -
Originally posted by coolgeek84:Wow.. I am truly inspired by this man..
True courage and bravery indeed.
*salutes*
Hope you rest in peace my friend. -
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Originally posted by curryman:
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The Lord speak to you today: Be strong and courage for I am with you through the end of time..
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thanks for posting....
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thanks for reading...Originally posted by Master -_-:thanks for posting.... -
I'm glad he chose to share.
The really sad stories are those of people who are ill but have chosen to isolate themselves from their loved ones in what they call a noble act of bearing the burden themselves. Noble or not, you decide. -
Originally posted by CheekyCow:I'm glad he chose to share.
The really sad stories are those of people who are ill but have chosen to isolate themselves from their loved ones in what they call a noble act of bearing the burden themselves. Noble or not, you decide. -
Just came back....
Those who had sent a prayer to Ian...thanks -