If you had to play with someone who by default always wins
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OMG, your father sounds like someone I know...
My father.
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Well, you could go the completely opposite direction and tell him, "Yup, you're right". If he gets enough of you telling him, "You, you're right" over and over again, all you need to do is say, "Well, I agree with you, so there's no problem, is there?".
Either he irritates you, or you irritate him. If you don't give him the fight he's looking for, you win.
If he goes to your form teacher and tells lies about you, you could always go to his boss and tell him that the old man's abusing you.
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What about the atmosphere he ruinsOriginally posted by Gedanken:Well, you could go the completely opposite direction and tell him, "Yup, you're right". If he gets enough of you telling him, "You, you're right" over and over again, all you need to do is say, "Well, I agree with you, so there's no problem, is there?".
Either he irritates you, or you irritate him. If you don't give him the fight he's looking for, you win.
If he goes to your form teacher and tells lies about you, you could always go to his boss and tell him that the old man's abusing you. -
an empty vessel makes the most noise
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then again an empty cup is most useful
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YA and he makes some drama from time to time in the house like extremely jealous etcOriginally posted by DC+:an empty vessel makes the most noise -
still ur father ma. mus respect le..
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Hey, don't get mad - get even.Originally posted by Omniknight:What about the atmosphere he ruins
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and i get threatened by staresOriginally posted by Gedanken:Hey, don't get mad - get even. -
With your propensity to whinge and look for problems instead of solutions, I'm coming round to the view that you and the old man deserve each other.
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???Originally posted by Gedanken:With your propensity to whinge and look for problems instead of solutions, I'm coming round to the view that you and the old man deserve each other.
Got stumped by brute authority?
So psychology is like that only. -
You know how unsafe it is to talk to someone the size of an orc shouting 1 inch before you with the brain of a bird?Originally posted by Gedanken:With your propensity to whinge and look for problems instead of solutions, I'm coming round to the view that you and the old man deserve each other. -
Ahhhh.. I see what you mean. Means dont counter him headfront. Make him suffer in other ways. That's what I've been doing.Originally posted by Gedanken:Hey, don't get mad - get even. -
Originally posted by Omniknight:???
Got stumped by brute authority?
So psychology is like that only.
Take a deep breath, count to ten and then come back and look at what you've written. You complain that your father tries to win arguments by thumping his chest, sidestepping the issues and then declaring himself the victor.Originally posted by Omniknight:You know how unsafe it is to talk to someone the size of an orc shouting 1 inch before you with the brain of a bird?
What does it look like you're doing here?
Like I said, with every post you're just convincing me more and more that you two deserve each other. All I had to do was push one small button and you've gone into Dad mode. -
Do I thump my chest (display my muscles 1 inch before you and start shouting?)? Did I sidestep the issue (saying gibberish that is totally irrelevant)? You say to get even which I would think ruining HIS atmosphere. That would mean I get threatening stares from him which might escalate him into hulk mode if I continue. Then you tell me I am looking for problems instead of solutions? You obviously dont want to face the entire problem which I am facing.Originally posted by Gedanken:Take a deep breath, count to ten and then come back and look at what you've written. You complain that your father tries to win arguments by thumping his chest, sidestepping the issues and then declaring himself the victor.
What does it look like you're doing here?
Like I said, with every post you're just convincing me more and more that you two deserve each other. All I had to do was push one small button and you've gone into Dad mode. -
double
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He wins because hes way better than you...Way beyond your reach...So i suggest you keep quiet if he never does anything to you...
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I suggest drop your jealous thinking and take it easy....
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Then quit lar, why play when you know you are going to lose.
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what jealous thinkingOriginally posted by Seth35:I suggest drop your jealous thinking and take it easy....
and it will be like a single parent family like that -
I’ll say it again, junior – stop, take a deep breath, count to ten and think. You’re just about shouting on this forum – either that or you’re being a drama queen, which is just as bad. Are you talking gibberish? Sure you are, what with that ramble about orcs and hulks.Originally posted by Omniknight:Do I thump my chest (display my muscles 1 inch before you and start shouting?)? Did I sidestep the issue (saying gibberish that is totally irrelevant)? You say to get even which I would think ruining HIS atmosphere. That would mean I get threatening stares from him which might escalate him into hulk mode if I continue. Then you tell me I am looking for problems instead of solutions? You obviously dont want to face the entire problem which I am facing.
IÂ’ll let you in on a little something, sport. If I had a dollar for everybody whoÂ’s tried your old manÂ’s crap on me, IÂ’d be a much richer man now, but damned if I ever let any of them win. Relatives, colleagues, classmates, executive board members, theyÂ’re all the same to old Uncle Ged.
The crap youÂ’re facing at the moment is just Power Games 101. Your mother's right - he's just playing funny buggers with you, dragging you into irrational arguments so that he can feel good that he's bamboozled his kid. It's a cheap thrill, but hey, some people can't stack up to anyone their own size, so they like going home and kicking the puppy because they know it can't bite back - go figure.
So what’s the solution to this? A couple of things. First and foremost, THINK – I’ve already recommended it twice now. Second, it’s a case of mind over matter – you don’t mind because it doesn’t matter. If you ignore these two things, you’re going to keep getting drawn into an irrational argument that you cannot possibly win. Don’t think about the substance of the argument, but instead think about what the old man wants and deny it to him.
From what you’ve described, what your old man wants is for you to engage in the argument with him, regardless of how pointless, irrational or irrelevant it is, and guess what? You keep obliging him. Even if you walk away, that in itself given him something – after all, “no comment” is a comment in itself.
When you get all emotional about the suituation as you are doing now, youÂ’re looking for more problems than solutions, because all youÂ’re doing is feeding your negative emotions. So listen up, booster - get a grip and think through the situation because thatÂ’s the only effective way of dealing with it.
Anyway, I've spoken my peace. Like your old man, you seem to want to have the satisfaction of having the last word, and again I say you both deserve each other. If you want to enjoy your misery and keep looking for problems, suit yourself. It doesn't change my world the slightest bit, and I don't mind because, hey, it doesn't matter, and to be blunt, any further discussion would be a waste of my time if you don't take any of this on board. -
I've ignored him for years. This feels like an incomplete family what do I do??Originally posted by Gedanken:I’ll say it again, junior – stop, take a deep breath, count to ten and think. You’re just about shouting on this forum – either that or you’re being a drama queen, which is just as bad. Are you talking gibberish? Sure you are, what with that ramble about orcs and hulks.
IÂ’ll let you in on a little something, sport. If I had a dollar for everybody whoÂ’s tried your old manÂ’s crap on me, IÂ’d be a much richer man now, but damned if I ever let any of them win. Relatives, colleagues, classmates, executive board members, theyÂ’re all the same to old Uncle Ged.
The crap youÂ’re facing at the moment is just Power Games 101. Your mother's right - he's just playing funny buggers with you, dragging you into irrational arguments so that he can feel good that he's bamboozled his kid. It's a cheap thrill, but hey, some people can't stack up to anyone their own size, so they like going home and kicking the puppy because they know it can't bite back - go figure.
So what’s the solution to this? A couple of things. First and foremost, THINK – I’ve already recommended it twice now. Second, it’s a case of mind over matter – you don’t mind because it doesn’t matter. If you ignore these two things, you’re going to keep getting drawn into an irrational argument that you cannot possibly win. Don’t think about the substance of the argument, but instead think about what the old man wants and deny it to him.
From what you’ve described, what your old man wants is for you to engage in the argument with him, regardless of how pointless, irrational or irrelevant it is, and guess what? You keep obliging him. Even if you walk away, that in itself given him something – after all, “no comment” is a comment in itself.
When you get all emotional about the suituation as you are doing now, youÂ’re looking for more problems than solutions, because all youÂ’re doing is feeding your negative emotions. So listen up, booster - get a grip and think through the situation because thatÂ’s the only effective way of dealing with it.
Anyway, I've spoken my peace. Like your old man, you seem to want to have the satisfaction of having the last word, and again I say you both deserve each other. If you want to enjoy your misery and keep looking for problems, suit yourself. It doesn't change my world the slightest bit, and I don't mind because, hey, it doesn't matter, and to be blunt, any further discussion would be a waste of my time if you don't take any of this on board. -
Shouting on the forum is nothing compared to being able to beat you u or chase you out of the house anytime. And at least orcs and hulks are analogies to this scenario. The gibberish he can come up with is a whole different level. Why do you think I'm so angry at people who dont make sense when they talk.Originally posted by Gedanken:I’ll say it again, junior – stop, take a deep breath, count to ten and think. You’re just about shouting on this forum – either that or you’re being a drama queen, which is just as bad. Are you talking gibberish? Sure you are, what with that ramble about orcs and hulks.
Yes I have been ignoring him for years but I dont like how this is going.IÂ’ll let you in on a little something, sport. If I had a dollar for everybody whoÂ’s tried your old manÂ’s crap on me, IÂ’d be a much richer man now, but damned if I ever let any of them win. Relatives, colleagues, classmates, executive board members, theyÂ’re all the same to old Uncle Ged.[/quote]
There is a different expectation for each person in my life. Since they claim to be my family, they better live up to it. I could care less when my NS officer or my boss treats me like a dog or something. Just dont go around saying im disrespecting you because you have a shi.t job and expect me to love you for being poor and stupid at home.[quote]The crap youÂ’re facing at the moment is just Power Games 101. Your mother's right - he's just playing funny buggers with you, dragging you into irrational arguments so that he can feel good that he's bamboozled his kid. It's a cheap thrill, but hey, some people can't stack up to anyone their own size, so they like going home and kicking the puppy because they know it can't bite back - go figure. -
sounds like Singaporean democracy to me.Originally posted by Omniknight:and is irritating as hell, plus always ruins the atmosphere, what do you do? -
That's only a problem if you feel obliged to love him, isn't it? Parents are parents, but that doesn't change anything if the blighter's being a right sh*t, does it?Originally posted by Omniknight:Just dont go around saying im disrespecting you because you have a shi.t job and expect me to love you for being poor and stupid at home.