disclamer: This work is purely fictional. Any names of characters used in the story related to persons living, deceased, or fictional is purely coincidental.
this morning i went to an indian banana leaf restaurant to tapow food for breakfast coz i had a craving for some indian cuisine like bryani rice, tandoori chicken, masala prawns etc... the indian restaurant was at arab street
so when i was at the food counter looking at the display of indian dishes n deciding what to eat, i overheard an indian man with a thick punjabi accent talking on the phone, probably taking a delivery order.
he was saying like "so i repeat your order... one buttered chicken, spicy bryani rice, one mutton kebab... give me your address, repeat that please... huh? in mumbai? another country"
then he said "EH SINGAPORE LAH! ONLY DELIVER IN SINGAPORE"
so i had a quick laugh, probably a prank call. then at the food counter, a botak fat indian man pestered me to quickly order n stop being distracted as he doesnt have all day to serve me"
so i ordered bryani rice, tandoori chicken, cabbage curry and mutton keema. it was packed in a big banana leaf n bundled up nice n tight.
then after paying, i wanted to pee, so i went to the toilet. i saw many bundles of banana leaves in the kitchen together with a banana flower on it.
i heard a 'heeeelllp me....heeeelllp me...' voice... like a lonely ghostly female voice.
omg, i tell myself i m hearing things. i turn around, i dont see any female here in the dirty place...
then i heard the voice again!! i realized it was coming from the banana flower!!! so i went to the pile of banana leaves n picked up the flower...
then a strong force pushed me into the toilet! i was still holding on to the banana flower. then a naked female spirit appeared before my eyes, together with misty clouds!!!
oh my god!! she is so sexy!! her skin was fair n white like ivory, with a slight luminous greenish blue. her face was full of serenity n beauty! she was tall n had a model's figure
i like!! i got turned on by a banana spirit! i cant believe it. so i asked her what she want? actually i feel like wanna piak piak her.
she told me yesterday in the banana plantation in lim chu kang, some farmers came n chopped down the tree n harvested the bananas, banana leafs n flower. that banana tree was her home n when the farmers chopped down the tree, she was in the banana flower n before she had time to escape, the farmers already loaded up the bananas n leafs n drove off to the pasir panjang market, n to the indian restaurant to deliver the leafs.
so she said she doesnt have a home now n is stuck in this indian restaurant, n will die if she dont find a new banana tree as home within the next 24 hours. she needs my help n wants me to bring her to a new banana tree for her to live in.
since now we're both in the toilet n she hella hottie even though she's a ghost, i said 'u let me piak piak u first then i help u ok?' so she agreed n i had the best piak piak in my life, better than geylang PRC or Thai zhabors. She brought out the manhood in me n made me feel like a real masculine man.
so then i said ok i'll help u... so means i have to go to the jungle to find an unoccupied banana tree. so i quickly left the indian restaurant, while holding the banana flower in my hands (with the spirit inside it) n i went to the roadside, want to hail a cab. but i realized that i left my packet of bryani rice in the restaurant!! alamak, dunno where siah. i think i left it by the hook on the toilet door after the piak piak session.
so i went back there, n then one indian cook saw me, with the banana flower in my hand. i think he suspected i stole the banana flower from the kitchen area, n he looked at the banana leaf pile n realized so. so he say "EH DEH!! U TAKE OUR FLOWER...BETTER RETURN IT NOW!!" he said 'its to make special curry lah!!'
so i pleaded to let him give me this flower coz i needed it urgently (dont have time to explain the whole story to him!!) He said cannot, banana flowers is very rare, we dont get banana flowers everyday' 'Furthermore, got a VIP coming to restaurant today, we need to use the banana flower to make 'SPECIAL CURRY' for him.
so i ask him sell me, he quote me $20 for the banana flower!!! omg! so expensive. i think he trying to rip me off. then i bargained but he refused n he rushed to me n tried to snatch the flower from me!! then the banana spirit inside intervened n shoot out a ray of light n blinded the indian guy n make him fainted...
so i quickly left by the back door n hailed a cab, to jalan kayu jungle...
i realized after all happenings that i was late for work already. so i called up my boss n said i'll be late n he said he wanna cut my salary!! oh no! damn...
the journey from arab st to jalan kayu gonna be a long one, n i felt hungry, n asked the cabbie if i can eat my bryani rice in the taxi, coz i very hungry. he said 'BUAY SAI LA, TAXI LAI PENG BUAY SAI JIAK MING KIA, LU MAI KA WA LUAN LAI HOR!'
furthermore he told me he hates indian food coz its smelly. i told the uncle i give him $2 more if he let me eat, n i promise i wont dirty his cab. he said pay $10, take it or leave it. so i said ok la....
i rather eat my bryani rice now in the cab than eat later, coz later will be busy finding banana tree for the banana spirit. then if the rice cold liao will be bo ho jiak. so i opened up the banana leaf rice n lay it on the taxi seat, as a table. i then sit on the floor of the taxi n eat the yummy bryani rice with fragrant tandoori chicken, cabbage curry n mutton keema. plus with crispy papadams.
welly nice to eat de wor. i asked the spirit in the banana flower if she wanted to eat, but she said she dont eat such food one. while i was eating halfway, the taxi driver probably got pissed coz the food smell too strong, foul up the whole cab. (esp. the curry n mutton smell)...
he then complained n he took air freshener n spray around... wah lau... the air freshener smell too overpowering n made me gag. so when i finished eating i decided to throw the whole sheet of banana leaf outta window coz i lazy to find dustbin later to throw. i keep the plastic bag coz can use during 'no plastic bag day at supermarket'. then i unwound the window n i just heck care, throw the whole sheet of banana leaf (which had pieces of rice, curry n chicken bones). the taxi was then travelling along PIE...
so when i threw the big sheet of banana leaf out, it floated like a kite n i turned behind n look, oops, it landed on a silver toyota altis car's windscreen n was stuck there (due to the curry sauce)...
the driver of it probably got a shock n lucky he used his wipers to get rid of the leaf as it was obstructing his view. i think he looked pissed n i saw him speeding up to catch up with my taxi!! oh no! i think he gonna go after me. so i tell the taxi driver to drive faster to loose him. i told him i will pay $10 more. so he did n he quickly exited to yio chu kang exit in the last minute n the toyota car didnt follow us, phew...
ok, then arrived in jalan kayu jungle n i had to pay like $35 in total for the taxi fare, damn. then the banana spirit came outta the flower, n we had to hike in the jungle n look out for banana trees. after hiking for 10 minutes through the undergrowth n kenna bitten by mosquitoes, i saw a few banana trees, n asked the spirit if it was suitable for her home. she inspected it n said ' this one cannot, too old... this one too weak... this too rotten...'
haiyo, so had to hike somemore n the jungle was so hot, make me sweat. the ground also so muddy, dirty my nice armani leather shoes n CK pants. then we saw a few more trees n she inspected it n later said this one is suitable. she said thank u n wanted to go inside to her new home, but i halted her n asked me for another reward, for helping her. so i said i want to strike toto first prize... n she was like reluctant to help me.
so i threatened that i will stick a pin in the banana flower if u dont help me, or worse still i will burn or chop the whole tree. so she said ok, n plucked a banana n gave it to me. in it got 6 numbers for buy toto one...will sure strike first prize wor
so i very happy n hike out to the main road n hailed a cab back to the 7-11 near my office. i bought the toto number n went back office, so late already, bout 12pm+... my boss then scolded me for being so damn late... n i wanted to explain the whole story to him but i think he wont buy it...
so heck care la... yes!! on thursday i m going to strike toto first prize!!! thanks to the banana spirit!! woohoo!! i m gonna be rich!!! wooopeee dooo
