So apparently, SingaporeÂ’s employment climate is the best itÂ’s been in some years. Yay! That means you no longer have to stay at home and watch MediaCock re-runs in the afternoon leow. But how to make sure you get that job? Dun say we neh help you, hor. Here are some TOP JOB-HUNTING TIPS
1. Be honest. Tell the interviewer that you see this job as only temporary, until that Nigerian guy who emailed you deposits the $50 million in your bank account.
2. Be generous. Offer the interviewer a sip from your chrysanthemum tea packet.
3. Show that youÂ’re a family man. If any of the interview questions stump you, feel free to phone your mother.
4. Be gracious. Always compliment lady executives on the size of their breasts.
5. Do your homework. Research your potential boss by staking out his house in an unmarked van at least 2 weeks before your interview.
6. Be resourceful. If your shirt has a stain on it, draw attention away from it by leaving your fly open.
7. Be original. Your interviewer is probably sian of seeing so many people in suits and ties, so theyÂ’re bound to find a guy in t-shirt, shorts and slippers refreshing.
8. Be considerate. If youÂ’re wearing slippers (see above), maybe also wear socks to muffle the sound a bit.
9. Use your ingenuity. If you pass gas during your interview, blame it on the secretary.
10. Be thoughtful. Leave your interviewer a thank you card with a small gift enclosed, such as a wallet-sized rectangular portrait of the late President Yusof Ishak.
11. Be persistent. If you canÂ’t find the right job opening, find someone who has the job you want, and kill him.
12. Be open. When it comes to job advice, always listen to those flers on TalkingCock.com.
13. Simple. Be born into an elite fambly, lor.
http://www.talkingcock.com/html/article.php?sid=2329
you try then tell us if work or not 