can rate my draft essay chapter?? thanks
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yep im just writing for schwork. some parts may be distorted because it is fiction. heh. Thanks! All was normal in the bustling city of Singapura, a city of 650 square kilometres of landspace, which was tucked in between the Straits of Malacca and Indonesia.Part of the Dutch Archipelago in the 1890's , it served as a port of call for trading for British seamen that enabled them to dock for repairs, refuel and trade with the merchants.Its main source of harbour trade was Keppel Harbour, named after Sir Henry Keppel, a retired serviceman that served the British Government in Singapore. it was dubbed the Crown Jewel of the South Eastern Asia that was governed by Queen Elizabeth. ** December 12, Ninety-Forty Two, Eighteen Hundred Hours, Fort Canning Hill,British Commanding Forces Headquarters "So, what is surprising? We've always been warned about the Japanese's growing temptation to invade the South Eastern Asia" "That cannot be allowed to happen."We've already heavily in debt.War in Europe is going bad for us, they have stopped sending reinforcements against a possible Japanese invasion" "Colonel, this just arrived" Sergeant McRish pipped up, amid the clamour of the clandestine office that was intercepting Japanese news transcripts. "Thank you McRish, Dismissed" "Yes, Sir". Saluting, he left the office, his M1 Garand rifle slung over his shoulders sloppily.A scope had been affixed hastily to it.The growing financial constraints of defending the British Empire had left the British War Treasury at nearly empty;half its reserves had already been emptied for defence of London.Churchill, the War Minister of the British Parliament and British Lord of the Admiralty had asked President Roosevelt for a loan, but Congress did not agree. ** "Ridiculous shit i've gotten into now ".the mysterious colonel said. "Japan has fucking started a general mobilisation of thier army" "Arthur, you need to calm the fuck down. They may not attack " The man said. Colonel Arthur Percival , Commander of the British Expeditionary Forces in South East Asia nodded and waved, indicating to the mysterious man to leave. "Arthur... " He was instantly cut off by a piercing glare and hastily stopped and turned to the exit The Man known as Arthur Percival withdrew drew his Webley sidearm, cocked it and shot the man in the head as he began to leave. Horrified stares greeted Arthur as the man slumped to the floor in a pool of blood. "McRish, get rid of his body"Arthur barked "Rght away Sir," McRish started to haul the body away and as the body was lifted onto his shoulders, a nametag fell out of the dead man's coat pocket He picked it up and a silent scream emitted from his mouth as he stared in shock, dumbfounded as the words and the picture of the nametag gripped his eyes The dead man was Stepeny Gates. The images whizzed around in his brain,past memories awoken from its slumber as he recollected what he had been through last year in a private briefing by Lord Chamberlain, the then British Prime Minister Stepany Gates, associate of the Fereguccio family, which dealed in mafia-related activites, and a very powerful influence on the Italian Government.Deals were clinched underhand ; thousands of light arms, mainly cheap replicas of the Maschinepistol 40 and versions of the American Bazookas were shipped to Germany and Russia, where German forces were preparing to take Russia and to rearm Germany's illegal army that broke the Versaillies Treaty of 1918.The Pact of Steel with Germany further strengthened the contract that had been signed by Stepany and the German High Command, based in Berlin. In the Spring of 1942 Germans attacked the City of Stalingrad, the secondmost important city of Russia, thereby breaking the peace treaty that had been signed less than two years ago.Russian Forces, with thier newly developed Kalashikov AK-47 with Soviet versions of the 7.62mm round turned the tables and now pushed for a counterattack. McRish reeled from the shock and was only brought out of his hyperventilating state when the barking orders of Percival made itself known to his ears. He hastened his pace, and brought the body out of the office. ** Spring gave way to summer, and the Axis Powers had conquered eastern Russia in the European Theater of the War.The Japanese poised to overrun the whole of south East Asia, which was under heavy firebombing.Vietnam had already fallen and the Prince of Wales and another warship were sunk off the coast of Kuantan. Bullets pinged all around Sgt McRish.The Japanese had landed on the beaches on south Thailand, having signed an agreement with the Thai Government.The British airfields there were under imminent threat of falling and thier ammo was running out McRish rushed towards the tank depot far east of the airfield and strapped himself into a Sherman Light Tank that had not been destroyed by the Japanese's firebombing and headed for the fences where Japanese soldiers were firing indiscrimately at the British A Jap soldier nearby flung down his rifle and rushed to his ammo dump, taking out a bazooka. Flipping the switch from Safe to fire, he crouched in wait as the Sherman blasted at the Japanese soldiers, forcing them back. The soldier cursed as the weapon jammed.Yanking out the misfired projectile,he plugged in a fresh missile and fired. The backwash of the missile threw him off his feet as a 50cal bullet impacted his forehead, tearing half his face off. The last thing McRish saw was a anti tank rocket heading in his path.
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1st paragraph...
All was normal in the bustling city of Singapura, a city of 650 square kilometres, tucked in between the Straits of Malacca and Indonesia. Being part of the Dutch Archipelago in the 1890’s, it served as a port of call for British traders and seamen that enabled them to dock for repairs, refuel and trade with the merchants. Its main source of harbour trade was Keppel Harbour, named after Sir Henry Keppel, a retired serviceman that served the British Government in Singapore. it was dubbed the Crown Jewel of the South Eastern Asia that was governed by Queen Elizabeth.
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essay can use fk and sh!t?
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Oh well, its a little scary, with the bombing and shooting and banging. Sorry, I don't like war stories. Sorry.
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Originally posted by Unknown_X:
essay can use fk and sh!t?
yep. its a sort of essay+novel, not as homework but for entertainment.
joint lit+hist project
what i've written is just only the beginning -
British troops don't carry M1 Garand at that point of time. in fact, I don't think they ever did.
They carried enfield along with the bulk of canadian troops
and, am i supposed to feel americanish reading it or britishish?
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change the M1 Garand to Lee Enfield
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nice language u using fuck!
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Originally posted by Agenda:
British troops don't carry M1 Garand at that point of time. in fact, I don't think they ever did.
They carried enfield along with the bulk of canadian troops
and, am i supposed to feel americanish reading it or britishish?
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Originally posted by Beaten_And_Damned:
yep. its a sort of essay+novel, not as homework but for entertainment.
joint lit+hist project
what i've written is just only the beginning
ic. respect u for having the passion. -
December 12, Ninety-Forty Two, Eighteen Hundred Hours, Fort Canning Hill,British Commanding Forces Headquarters
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oops i know there are lots of grammer mistakes, but i havent thetime to correct it. Thanks! @Agenda i thought they carried a mixture of M1 Garand and Enfields when theAmericans supplied them with Garands?
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Make it more sci-fi.....add laser beams and gundam. Oh, and make the characters more aristocratic in personality, use higher forms of cussing. other than that. 8/10
1mark for grammar
1mark cuz u can improve
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Originally posted by Beaten_And_Damned:
oops
i know there are lots of grammer mistakes, but i havent thetime to correct it.
Thanks!
@Agenda
i thought they carried a mixture of M1 Garand and Enfields when theAmericans supplied them with Garands?
I don't think so, during that time US has just entered the war.