Do guys or gals plan??
-
When a guy proposes, and the gal accepted already, what's the next step?
As in, do the gal takes over from there and starts sourcing for a flat, wedding dinner place, dates, etc while the guy doesn't do anything?
Or, do the guy do the souring etc, come up with a few options, plan and rope the gal in on the discussion instead?
-
who chiu ? what chiu have to do with my meow meow ?
-
whats the problem with you both?
cannot make decisions together? if this is the case then i suggest you seriously reconsider marriage.
-
if is like tt, hire a wedding planner
let someone else decide for both of u -
huh? from wat i noe, it seems that the guy was enthusiastic at the time of the accepted proposal and started coming up with plans for the wedding, but the enthusiasiam 'died' off in a few weeks.
Thereafter, the gal took over the planning, but after repeatedly trying to rope the guy in on the discussions, she kinda gave up? cos the guy's mind seems to be elsewhere~~
D proposal was about 2 yrs back already; till now, they are stil at square one; as friends, we are concerned.
-
Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
When a guy proposes, and the gal accepted already, what's the next step?
As in, do the gal takes over from there and starts sourcing for a flat, wedding dinner place, dates, etc while the guy doesn't do anything?
Or, do the guy do the souring etc, come up with a few options, plan and rope the gal in on the discussion instead?
u never do group project work in school last time b4? -
then is how?
not getting married liao? -
Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
huh? from wat i noe, it seems that the guy was enthusiastic at the time of the accepted proposal and started coming up with plans for the wedding, but the enthusiasiam 'died' off in a few weeks.
Thereafter, the gal took over the planning, but after repeatedly trying to rope the guy in on the discussions, she kinda gave up? cos the guy's mind seems to be elsewhere~~
D proposal was about 2 yrs back already; till now, they are stil at square one; as friends, we are concerned.
blew off liao lah...even not engaged.... at least ROM 1st mah... wedding dinner later then hold.
-
actually i also dunno.
i try not to bring up the topic of wedding in front of the gal, in case she starts thinking wat actually went wrong.
for 2 yrs, she has already been 'bombarded' by friends on when's the wedding; a Q she practically has no answer to.
she did try talking to the bf, but seems like his reply was 'i know u been waiting all this while, so u wan wait, u continue to wait, else u can let go, i won't blame u'.
i was like ??? when she told me.
she did consult those friends who are already married on how the initial planning went; but it seems that the couples either has the guy doing the planning but roping in the gal into the discussion or the couples sat down and have a discussion on things. But, either way, it was the guy who started the topic first.
In her case, she has to start the topic herself.
hrmm.. any implication? any advice for her? i am at my wits end, i dunno how to console her.
-
if the guy no want then there is no point in forcing lah
if dun even want to plan anything then just go bo mia at ROM websai
then on the day go ROM sompah
gao gim -
actually wat i am pretty curious is, does the guy wan to get married in the first place?
if he doesnt wan, y bother to propose in the first place?
is like draining the gal's youth away wor.
i didnt spell out these thots to the gal, in case she starts thinking again.
-
must be chicken out after proposal.. or pressured into proposing..
two person's thing must compromise and plan together..
-
ppl dun want then dun want liao loh
this type of thing oso not 外人 can help one
i think u leave them alone to settle themselves better lah -
so bizarre. like that he propose for what? only to get cold feet soon after?
he's breaking the gf's heart man. and they're still together, but hanging like that. doesn't make sense. she should end it now, or be miserable for a long time more to come.
-
Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
actually wat i am pretty curious is, does the guy wan to get married in the first place?
if he doesnt wan, y bother to propose in the first place?
is like draining the gal's youth away wor.
i didnt spell out these thots to the gal, in case she starts thinking again.
keep her for backup in case later cant find new one...
call the guy up and f f f him... -
settle themselves?
is there such a possibility?
cos from what i see and heard, this issue jus kept dragging on.
sigh.. -_-"
recently, during a gathering with both the gal's and guy's friends, plus the guy's family members, the gal announced that the 'accepted proposal' was called off, take it that the proposal never happened before.
The guy sat there, just shrugged his shoulders.
hrmm.. i dun understand.
-
Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
settle themselves?
is there such a possibility?
cos from what i see and heard, this issue jus kept dragging on.
sigh.. -_-"
recently, during a gathering with both the gal's and guy's friends, plus the guy's family members, the gal announced that the 'accepted proposal' was called off, take it that the proposal never happened before.
The guy sat there, just shrugged his shoulders.
hrmm.. i dun understand.
the candle wax is melting, and the flame is dimming... -
Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
settle themselves?
is there such a possibility?
cos from what i see and heard, this issue jus kept dragging on.
sigh.. -_-"
recently, during a gathering with both the gal's and guy's friends, plus the guy's family members, the gal announced that the 'accepted proposal' was called off, take it that the proposal never happened before.
The guy sat there, just shrugged his shoulders.
hrmm.. i dun understand.
see? settled.
-
nope, it's not settled.
cos the next day, the guy went around explaining it's just a joke pulled by the gf, dat she jus sort of had a stressful week, so wasn't thinking right that nite, had a drop too much, his family and friends accepted it; but we, the gal's friends, thot better.
we felt it was the wine which made her had the courage that nite - in a way.
-
Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
nope, it's not settled.
cos the next day, the guy went around explaining it's just a joke pulled by the gf, dat she jus sort of had a stressful week, so wasn't thinking right that nite, had a drop too much, his family and friends accepted it; but we, the gal's friends, thot better.
we felt it was the wine which made her had the courage that nite - in a way.
i'm a guy, do u think i'll wait for a girl who agreed to my proposal but 2 years on... still not a legal wife to me yet... -
i am a gal, i dun actually know how a guy thinks, and i also know that friends (guys) jus assured the gal that there's nothing wrong as they didnt wanna see her too upset.
wat i wanna know and is very curious is,
y did d bf proposed?
y did he reacted the way he did?
y did he seem not even interested in the wedding?
y did he drag so long, and is still dragging?
i can onli see it from a gal's views; the time he proposed, was the time when there were suddenly many suitors ard the gf, thus to ensure that she's 'his', he proposed. At that moment, maybe he really wanted to get married, and at the same time, rid the bees away. But after a few weeks, he regretted and started to seem less interested.
As for dragging and not lifting a finger in planning - i felt maybe it's cos the gf was a very detailed person, so he jus let her plan instead, but it's wrong, cos which gal wan to plan their own wedding w/o d groom-to-be ard, it's = she's jus marrying herself.
I dunno if i am rite in feeling dat way; any guys to help out? as in answering the Qs?
PS~~ thx thx~~
-
haha who knows man, maybe the guy wanted to see how it was like to PROPOSE to his gf, just for kicks. sometimes we all do stupid things, don't we.
-
Great! if it's just a stupid thing that he did to my fren, i guess we can do stupid things to him as well~~
*winkz*
-
HAHAHA
*rubs hands gleefully* what say you?
-
Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
i am a gal, i dun actually know how a guy thinks, and i also know that friends (guys) jus assured the gal that there's nothing wrong as they didnt wanna see her too upset.
wat i wanna know and is very curious is,
y did d bf proposed?
y did he reacted the way he did?
y did he seem not even interested in the wedding?
y did he drag so long, and is still dragging?
i can onli see it from a gal's views; the time he proposed, was the time when there were suddenly many suitors ard the gf, thus to ensure that she's 'his', he proposed. At that moment, maybe he really wanted to get married, and at the same time, rid the bees away. But after a few weeks, he regretted and started to seem less interested.
As for dragging and not lifting a finger in planning - i felt maybe it's cos the gf was a very detailed person, so he jus let her plan instead, but it's wrong, cos which gal wan to plan their own wedding w/o d groom-to-be ard, it's = she's jus marrying herself.
I dunno if i am rite in feeling dat way; any guys to help out? as in answering the Qs?
PS~~ thx thx~~
IMHO, the wedding is but the one of the first steps to a marriage. If like that also cannot sort out, then the challenges ahead will be worse... In the future, there will be tasks that involves several parties (in-laws, friends, whatever...) in many kind of weird or cliche situations.
I suggest that u shd consider getting marriage counselling (or something like tt) from ROM first... Dun start off with the wrong step. Very painful one... Wedding issues can be brought up again many years later, as a topic for quarrels & comparison.
