bumpz
chap 4 and 5 out ! :D
ok la..typical teenage love story...relives some of our past memories...lolz..
ok comments..If your story is 4 forumers like us to read, then i think its okay. But if you are intending to write this story into a book for publication, i think your english still have room for improvement. The usage of the language is too simple bah. Anyway, it all depends on your objective of this and i will be more than happy to read on and provide my feedback if needed. Cheers
Originally posted by Heartzzz:ok la..typical teenage love story...relives some of our past memories...lolz..
ok comments..If your story is 4 forumers like us to read, then i think its okay. But if you are intending to write this story into a book for publication, i think your english still have room for improvement. The usage of the language is too simple bah. Anyway, it all depends on your objective of this and i will be more than happy to read on and provide my feedback if needed. Cheers
haha, no la. this my 1st time. just do for frens/ forumers 2 read de : D
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bumpbumpz
chap-ter 6~ =x
a bit..secondaryschool-ish?cliched.gd try tho,mbe you shld like write in standard english instead,even the text messages,so it'll appear more like a good read.any more chapters? [:
Originally posted by plus22:a bit..secondaryschool-ish?cliched.gd try tho,mbe you shld like write in standard english instead,even the text messages,so it'll appear more like a good read.any more chapters? [:
technically speaking my eng also not that good. so have abit of singlish inside !
haha. i secondaryschool de ma. so its abit secondary-school-ish =x
What is this shit?
i tell you a joke. once an artist post his work. another artist copied his way of painting and post up his own work many years later. all the same feel except subject different. First artist comment that the copy cat artist work trash. copy cat artist says haha that was you many years ago and he is still producting trash
i logged in juz to comment!
story nt bad!
but kinda unrealistic.
Kris fell in love at 15, got super heart broken?
a lil too young i suppose.
Another typo i assume?
Amidst Kris' tears, he didn't
notice Katy wrapping her arms around her and that she was also
sobbing uncontrollably....
anyway, great effort. would love to see how this story goes. looking forward to it.
All the best.
haha sorry for typo. btw can sum1 tell me where the english go wrong ? . eg structure or sth.. x.x
lol. 1 more chap out : x
i want to get involve in the story!!!
Horrichible story.
Originally posted by yiha093:haha sorry for typo. btw can sum1 tell me where the english go wrong ? . eg structure or sth.. x.x
er for starters: ''Kris , what's wrong with you nowadays... ? Do you know that... Oh , you have come , go back to your seat first. Kris i'll deal with you later . See me after class . ''
how about "Oh,you are here" instead?
and like how Kris keeps changing his attitude towards Katy a bit hard to relate to,i guess.
jyjy.
bumpz
bumpx.
want to read on please bumpz for me ! xD
sad. chap8. tyty. havefun ._.
who wan me post next chapter....?
bumpz
new chapter pls
up~~~
chap9 xd