My kids are closer to my maid than to me!
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I'm a parent of 3 and both my husband and i are working hard to pay off our housing debt. To take care of my children during my working hours, i hired a maid about 3 years ago.
However, it has become increasingly evident that my kids are more attached to the maid than me! They always talk with the maid and when i try to talk to them, they either give me short answers or just stare blankly at me. I feel frustrated and so does my husband.
Sometimes I feel like sacking the maid and hiring another one, so that at least i become the more 'familiar' person to them in the house. However, i don't think my kids are willing to part with my maid so easily... Can anyone tell me how to deal with this??? thx alot in advance
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You sack the maid, they will hate you even more. Then you are DEAD!
Show more care and concern to your children as a good start. =) -
yeah and i hope your maid isnt like that maid who do with the 12 year old boy..
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No point blaming the maid, be glad that at least your kids have someone they can talk/relate to and depend on.
All you can do now is spend more time with them. I'm sure there are some things you can do that the maid cannot do. I don't think mothers can be completely replaced by maids. So find out what "that" is before your kids ignore you completely.
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U can't blame the maid, and don't ever blame yourself because you are working hard to provide for your family. Be glad that u found a nice maid who takes care of your children and love them like her own. Life is hard here. Stop work and there won't be money to take care if the bills. Yea, positive thoughts huh.
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double post.
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well its time to prioritize.
is work more important than the kids?
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and i forgot to add on. dont blame the maid, she's working hard just like you are; you work hard for your family and she works hard for hers. if your children are closer to her than to you, it shows that she's doing her job.
sorry, but i really have a lot of prejudice against parents who throw their kids to the maid. i grew up like that, and even though i understand the stress and pain of life since im working now, i will never be able to be as close to my parents as those who grew up in a happy and contented family. sometimes i do blame my parents, was money actually so important that they could throw me aside? financially it makes sense, hire a maid for minimum wage and use the time saved to earn more. but does it make sense emotionally? some bonds can only be built when the child is very young, is the love between parent and child worth the extra cash?
perhaps you shouldnt be so career driven? to quote someone that i forgot: on their deathbed, no one ever wished that they spent more time at the office.
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well if you leave the job of taking care of your children to your maid, who is to blame?
u have to live with your decisions and be accountable for your actions.
sack the maid for? any reasons other than being closed to your children? if the maid is lazy and shows attitude problems at work, fine sack her. but to sack her for being close to your children and she is doing a fine job doing housework and taking care of them is a tad lame, dun u think so.
instead of being jealous and green with envy of your maid, what you should do is to spend more time with your children and give them quality time. make sure u do your job and role as a mother by educating them. please teach your children basic manners and etiquette, like thank you, respect and things like that. you should not vent your anger and frustrations on your children, because they are just children and being naughty. what you should do is to win them over by your actions. wishing to win them over is just wishful thinking. prove it with actions and not by words and thinking.
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Originally posted by Parren2010:
Sometimes I feel like sacking the maid and hiring another one, so that at least i become the more 'familiar' person to them in the house. However, i don't think my kids are willing to part with my maid so easily... Can anyone tell me how to deal with this??? thx alot in advance
joke.....this would be one of the consequences when you're not spending more time with your children.maturity...
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how old are your children? give the maid a sunday break and get her out of the house and you can take the family on outings to bond....these days families are over-relying maids, i see often that parents would chomp their food while the maids feed the kids and play with them, kids see the maids as their providers of need while the parents are there to drive them around...
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The maid is not the problem.It's you DUMB IDIOT!
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Originally posted by Parren2010:
I'm a parent of 3 and both my husband and i are working hard to pay off our housing debt. To take care of my children during my working hours, i hired a maid about 3 years ago.
However, it has become increasingly evident that my kids are more attached to the maid than me! They always talk with the maid and when i try to talk to them, they either give me short answers or just stare blankly at me. I feel frustrated and so does my husband.
Sometimes I feel like sacking the maid and hiring another one, so that at least i become the more 'familiar' person to them in the house. However, i don't think my kids are willing to part with my maid so easily... Can anyone tell me how to deal with this??? thx alot in advance
no problem that children closer to maid. but if hubby is closer to maid than to you then time to panic !!!
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You deserve it. Face it. I noe how it feels like to be left alone . I grow up only acknowledging my dad cos he gives me money, and my mom cos she Hits me whenever I made a mistake. Don worry, when u're old and unwell, ur kids gonna send to u the old folks. They'll be too busy for u aniwaes. Make sure u treat the maid well, cos the way I see it, she's their role model Nao.
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as per topic, blame who?
ans: neither.
but think again. y do some parents can have quality time with their kids dispite of their busy working schedule and u are not able to do that?