90% quiet,10% chatty-me. what is yours?
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I realized that sometimes I can speak confidently with people, about 10% of the time only, and is usually 1 to 1.
Most of the time, I cannot connect with topics people talk, particularly in group and I feel abit awkward in group also because there is a pressure to speak and not be seen as overly quiet.
hmm.... i wonder how should i see my problem. What about you guys?
I think that the reason why I am quiet and feel awkward is because I do not dare to present my true beliefs. say what i really believe. That is why I am quiet. To be more chatty, i need to just say what i really think so, but of course run the daanger of offending people.
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Probably just means that you're shy
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Probably because you care too much of what people think of your opinions?
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Don't talk for the sake of talking..
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just talk nia...dont care wad pple think..they not happy tell them to fuck off..u will improve over time...no one is born with a gift of the gap
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You can look at it 2 ways....
the 10% are precious words......you only say what needs to be said. 90% garbage.
The other aspect is that you need to learn how to articulate the 10% and make it 90% respondents.
So when you attend social function....observe how people interact. How they reach out, facial expression, verbal response. Hand gesture.....
Go home Than visualize yourself practice......
Read topics of social discussion such as current gossip news, special interest such as sport,
Got that.....
Good luck,
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what about 50/50 ? lol
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Originally posted by BadzMaro:
what about 50/50 ? lol
than you got no opinon on the subject matters.....you simply follow whatever people said....or your knowledge of discussion are superficial as the rest unable to articulate beyond the group discussion. -
Originally posted by Arapahoe:
than you got no opinon on the subject matters.....you simply follow whatever people said....or your knowledge of discussion are superficial as the rest unable to articulate beyond the group discussion.lol !
I was thinking more like know what to say.. when to say and how to say it.
While being able to listen as much observe analysis and all that brain power stuff.
But I'll accept urs. hahaha
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ha....sorry....
why don't you start off by attending social gathering with folks that you know you share common interest such as travel,...movies, gossip....whatever books.... politics.
The key is not to be negative.....you don't have to say yes....agree all the way. but it must be positive and friendly.
Stay Focus in the conversation focus your eyes contact . since it is your topics of interest you must have an opinon and understanding of the subject point of entry would be easier...start from there and move to stranger and listen and talk about it.
this is particularly good if you are in networking session.
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I 100 percent quiet.
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Got hear before the 20/80 rule? 20% of what you say is the most important, the other 80% is rubbish. You still got 10% more to go.
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100% dao
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Originally posted by FireIce:
100% dao
U .....100% talkertive lah.....
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I am quiet and talkative depending on the environmental factors.
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I'm only 10 percent chatty, But 90% of the time I'm silent, especially in work, I'd rather do things alone and get scolded.
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Originally posted by january:
I realized that sometimes I can speak confidently with people, about 10% of the time only, and is usually 1 to 1.
Most of the time, I cannot connect with topics people talk, particularly in group and I feel abit awkward in group also because there is a pressure to speak and not be seen as overly quiet.
hmm.... i wonder how should i see my problem. What about you guys?
I think that the reason why I am quiet and feel awkward is because I do not dare to present my true beliefs. say what i really believe. That is why I am quiet. To be more chatty, i need to just say what i really think so, but of course run the daanger of offending people.
It's ok, if you are unable to express yourself true to who you are, then you can always do that in your next life.And it's perfectly normal because you are not alone.
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Hey January,
Don't think you should be too bothered about what people think as in thinking that way, you'll only make your life miserable... you can't please the crowd all the time.
Being shy isn't an issue... realising that you're shy is the first step forward and work on being more open is the next step...
Be yourself most of the time (why only "most" is that in formal social events you aren't expected to be overly "open")... don't stress out.
I used to be quite shy as well but my job required me to give talks and lectures and that forced me break out of the shy mold... after a while, you'll realise that talking with others isn't a big deal as long as you're yourself... pretending to act confident and being someone you're not will only exhaust you.
Everyone's different, being a little shy and introverted isn't a flaw and can be an asset as you're probably a much better listener than many others who talk too much.
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Nothing wrong if you are quiet.
I also seldom talk, I only see and think.
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Originally posted by january:
I realized that sometimes I can speak confidently with people, about 10% of the time only, and is usually 1 to 1.
Most of the time, I cannot connect with topics people talk, particularly in group and I feel abit awkward in group also because there is a pressure to speak and not be seen as overly quiet.
hmm.... i wonder how should i see my problem. What about you guys?
I think that the reason why I am quiet and feel awkward is because I do not dare to present my true beliefs. say what i really believe. That is why I am quiet. To be more chatty, i need to just say what i really think so, but of course run the daanger of offending people.
if u a gal...thats fine....if guy...then not very good as it puts u at a social disadvantage....
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Thanks for all the replies.
I am abit curious, why is that there is 2 me. the 10% more confident me , can talk and joke creatively.
but 90% me, just could not do it, is like a different personality. For me is mostly depends on who I am with. As time passes, the habit in both cases persist so it sort of become more and more distinct.
I think I feel stress when I am quiet in social setting because My inner conscious is asking me to open up and realize my conscious thinking is cork up. THat is why i experience the stress. It like the 2 of them are pushing each other.
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its very normal....u r mainly an introvert....only opens up with close frens.....
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tok so much you find that everyday you tok and tok and eventually you are only toking about the same thing. from what i see at work don;t tok too much. your colleauges listen nd form your speeches they can make out your strength and weakness so they play politics at work can use what you say and make our your personality strenght and weaknesses. of course if you don;y join them they say you howlian. me who cares. sgrenas don;t mix with peearses and floortraps.
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not being able to speak your mind means there is fear ... of appearing stupid, of saying wrong thing, etc. so you need to become more fearless. however becoming fearless is a maturity and growth of character through experience which helps you drop the illusion that people are so scary and powerful that we don't dare to offend them. you see, everyone is about the same. probably, other people are also afraid of how you look at them so everyone is just as scared of everyone else.
when this truth sinks inside you, you will become more fearless hence speaking your mind will be less of a problem
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chatty with close friends n certain ppl, mind blank with some ppl.