Erections vs Periods
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I'm not talking about fucking your girlfriend on the rag, you limpdick. This post hits home for any man capable of producing and maintaining an erection. I hope that's most of you. Also, for your own goddamned sake, I petition that you realize both of these processes are completely necessary in the human reproductive cycle.It's the circle of life, motherfuckers. It “moves” us all.Women are constantly complaining about how difficult it is just to be a woman. Yeah, you shave you legs. Yeah, you gotta wear make-up (not that you don't bitch like fucking crazy about that, though). Yeah, you've got to expunge a cotton cylinder soaked in your own life force once a month. And yeah, granted, blowing blood out of your cooch is a pretty disgusting habit—and if you can stop doing that, by all means, make the world (including those asexual toilets at coffee shops) a much less fetid place...please.What you women generally don't understand is that it is much more difficult to possess a part of the body that enlarges into public view randomly, in the middle of day-to-day situations, than it is to have an ax-wound. And unlike the menstrual cycle, erections are not societally-accepted.Take these generic conversations, for instance:At a pub...Girl 1: GOD, I'M SO BLOATED, GIRL.Girl 2: YEAH GIRL ME TOO!Girl 1: I NEED A BAR OF CHOCOLATE.Girl 2: I NEED A WARM COCK.Everybody else: Awwwwwwwwww... you poor, little thing. What can we do to cater to your fickle, estrogen-driven needs???!!!!Versus:Boy: GOD... I'm...so...bloated..... in the pants.Everybody else: ...Boy: I... need... my cock... sucked.Everybody else: YOU GROSS MOTHERFUCKER.Yeah, you get the point. If you walk down Orchard Road and see these two things: a girl with a sweatshirt sloppily tied around her waist and a guy with a massive boner, you're more likely to not call the fucking SPF on the girl. We all know that she's hiding the big red oil spot on her camel toe just as well as we know that that guy probably just got a glimpse of some MILF breastfeeding her baby girl.So you're still not convinced?Well then asshole, take my experience in Secondary 2.I went to a Catholic school. Before I was the hardass that all you forumers love, I was a devout participant in my school's Wednesday Evening Mass which invites the participation of all family members. Well, as fate would have it, I was kneeling on a pew behind a girl named Margaret (my classmate Shawn's sister, sorry Margaret), when her Sunday skirt rode up and caught on the seat in front of me, revealing her soft... pink... satin... boyshortish... smooth... clinging... wet... Catholic-boy-desecrating... panties.So then, I got a raging erection. Not a normal erection. The kind that tents out the front of your dress slacks. A FUCKBAR, if you will. The kind that pokes out eyes and makes Catholic friars' mouths water. (I still swear that wasn't Holy Water he was spraying on the congregation.)Many of you may not be familiar with Catholic services, but essentially, when you're done kneeling at this point in the mass, you immediately rise and follow your pew-mates in an orderly fashion up the middle of the sacristy to receive Communion from the friar.This is all done in front of the entirety of your peers (and parents), in order to facilitate the idea of “community.” Alas, before me, nobody has ever thought that his social life would be destroyed by a sip of grape juice (supposed to be wine) and a small Styrofoam wafer. But, that's exactly what happened. I rose as I was risen. Like Jesus, it felt like three days had passed before I made it to the friar. But, unlike Jesus, nobody was kneeling, weeping at my feet—though I would've promised eternal life for anybody in that position. I would've taken a few nails to the hands, if you catch what I'm trying to get at ;)Alright, enough Jesus talk. I'm losing my boner.Essentially, this whole experience was completely mortifying and ended with an hour long talk session with the friar. I even offered fourteen Hail Marys and ten Our Fathers, bloody hell.And that's it. What it boils down to is that women have to quit bitching about periods. At least you know that shit is going to flood the banks once a month and then go away. We men, on the other hand, have unfortunate occurrences—completely unexpected circumstances—like eating that fucking wafer with a huge boner in full view of public or, luckily in my case, impressing a slew of undersexed Catholic girls.From morning tents to pubescent 'Mari Kita's, we consider our erections homage to our masculinity. If only you fucking cunts would give us a little credit and suck a little dick randomly, perhaps your incessant nagging about bleeding will be more tolerated.(Fuck you friar.)The end.
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i din read anything and posted this reply.
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wrong sub forum
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irrelevant
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why is this topic not removed?
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wow . singapore own soft porn writer
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The morale of the story is: Don't be a hardened dick and show it. He must have been rejected entry by the same bloody excuse one time too many...
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Ya agreed with all the above comments. The guy who posted the initial post must be some nuts going through some PMS period! Totally rubbish and out of taste!
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Hey I didn't know there were any co-ed catholic schools.
I hope you got all of them girls.
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Latest study shows that guys PMS too. lol
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sbst275: Wrong sub forum? This's 'chit chat' man, anything under the sun!
Dalforce: Irrelevant? Irrelevant to what? What is your basis of comparison?
[imdestinyz]: Why should it be removed? It is just a piece on social dynamics. Convince me.
Ice: I can't imagine you link this to soft porn. What ddafuq are u thinking? Your daily porn habit is messing with your mind man...
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Dalforce's post was edited by fireice... for being irrelevant...
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What's the purpose of posting the original article? I can't make any sense out of it except to feel disgusted over the contents. You need a shrink?
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Aneslayer: It is really nice of you to point out. Thank ya kindly...
shirt_less: Jesus Christ...take some panadol menstrual.
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Originally posted by FUCKBAR:
Aneslayer: It is really nice of you to point out. Thank ya kindly...
shirt_less: Jesus Christ...take some panadol menstrual.
No problem. Treat it as a welcome to a newcomer :)
Sgf is a rather mainstream forum. Your radical views will most probably not be well accepted here...
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i didn't read anything before posting this/