Taken from my facebook notes:
Hi,
I understand that you have a self-perceptions to maintain, and resumes to boost; it's just that I'd really feel more comfortable if I stopped receiving your requests to join your ridiculous facebook groups. If I am your friend, I already "support" you in a sense that you probably already don't deserve...as you're constantly plugging yourself to me for some sort of weird self-satisfaction. I wouldn’t let my best friends rub on my leg to get off, what makes you think that you’re any different?
That said, it should be noted that I am also very apathetic to your causes. In fact, your winning or losing could be the last thing I care about, literally. I care about it this much: 0. So, I'm not going to vote for you, regardless of how many stupid ass facebook group invites you send. I’ve got much more to worry about. The impending apocalypse. Global warming. Cruelty towards animals. Classes. Etc.
So, I just like to make it clear that when that most IMPORTANT time comes (which is today my favourite Union Day on which no classes are held), I won't be in school to put a check on your name. I can’t be bothered with that shit. For you see, dear candidates, it changes nothing in my life. You won't change anything for the better.
You won't be able to establish a new canteen to ease the overcrowding situation. You won't make it a requirement for the hot girls to come to my classes topless. You won't make beer more available on campus or my increase my chances of getting laid. You won't feed me. You won't love me. At least, after I’ve voted for you. So, in Christ's name our Lord and Savior, why would I vote for you? To make you happy?
You should know me better than that.
FUCKBAR.