Until December, Bitches...
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After two years of maintaining the highest GPA average one may have in university, I've finally been thwarted by a fucking Italian LI9001 class. Turns out, you can't just show up to tests for that, not knowing any Italian, and end up doing well. So, the highest grade I can achieve is a B-, considering I am getting at least a 94.5% on my final (which is strangely only worth 35% of my grade). I'm opening it up to you... since I'm going to have to retake it, I want to ask you what sort of mischief I should get into for my final. I was thinking about getting a pack of cigarettes and smoking in the room. When that Italian twat tells me to quit, I'll say something like, "IT CALMS MY FUCKING NERVES ALRIGHT I CAN'T CONCENTRATE IN THESE CONDITIONS." And then, perhaps, light the exam off of my cigarette and leave the building screaming "fire!' Seems sort of mundane. But fuck if I know, I feel like I'm hungover. Anyway, I came up with this article thinking that all guys who don't fully eat pussy are bitches. I haven’t written it yet because I wasn’t sure how to approach it after my experience 2 days ago. You see, my dog Bailey likes eating popcorn. She also wolfs down cucumbers, apples and obviously, any variety of meat that we offer her when we feel particularly charitable at the dinner table. As a dog, her eating habits aren't too terribly peculiar; however, I came to find something that good ol’ Bailey just won't swallow. You see, after a night of dinner, a movie and a thorough fingering—and I do mean thorough—of this girl I had been seeing (and won't be seeing ever again after this), I was greeted at the door by tail-waggin’ Bailey. It's usually at this point in the night that she knows I'm drunk and willing to feed her a piece of sausage that my dad keeps in the fridge downstairs. Well, as I bent over to pet my loyal dog, she gave a growl. I laughed (she's a Shih Tzu, and a small one at that), then, I petted behind her ears, as I usually do. As I did that, she smelled my wrist with great hesitation and sure enough, within two seconds, Bailey darted off and hid under a table. This concerned me at first, considering that the animal kingdom has a strange innate sense of evil...ergo, in my thought process at the time, genital warts (granted, if you knew this girl, you'd see why I left it at fingering and ran…then, in the car, lit match over the four fingers I used and prayed). After I poured a copious amount of rubbing alcohol over my hands and used another match to singe the hair and healthy cells off, I sat down with a cigarette and saw Bailey still cowering in fear. I told her, “Bailey, you're a little bitch,� and she ran upstairs. Puns aside (as she is a female dog). Haha... Anyway, to all you idiotic readers out there flooding my mailbox with insults and requests (except you Deana, you're always welcome to suck on my dick), well kids, classes are getting fucking tough and because I'm busy enjoying my last bit of freedom before exams, flirting and trying like hell to get laid, it'll probably be a month or two before I'll be able to write again. I need time to let the creative juices marinate my brain...and I also need to get laid... terribly. I can't stress this enough. Either way, have fun with whatever you losers do with your time. FUCKBAR, out
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Fuck...I am so drunk I clicked the reply button to my own post. FML...
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k
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today no take meds?
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You need help.
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IMH too loose in their control of the nuts.
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Fubar!
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is italian beri difficult?
me found a course bt am hesitant.
bt me is oso tinkin of takin up spanish nxt.
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Originally posted by troublemaker2005:
Fubar!
Foolbar?