'nothing'
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bravo bravo appluse please........Originally posted by Peppermint:To Rain Tree
To continue with my Caveman Theory.
Sometimes, you may find that your man is quiet, keeping to himself, when you ask him anything he just say nothing nothing nothing. Then suddenly, after ignoring him for a while, he's back to normal as if nothing has happened. Frustrated? Confused? Dont be. Lots of women out there having this same problem.
To solve the problem, we must first understand why it happens? i.e the cause.
For women, if they have any problems, they prefer to *speak* it out loud, talk it over with their galfriends. They need to *hear* their problem. They feel better this way and this is how they cope with their problems. Of course if it works for the gals, the gal will also assume it will work for the guy. Thats why the gal will keep asking *why?, anything wrong? tell me tell* as she feels that the guy would be better if he pours everything out.
But guys are different.
When guys have problems, they prefer to think it over in their minds, pouring over each and every possibilities. They need peace and most importantly their own *cave*. When a man retreats into his cave, he is saying that *I do not want to be disturbed. Please give me some time alone. When I am done, I will come out and everything will be solved.* So what you as a lady should do is if he goes into his *cave*, ask him *Do you need some time alone? If so I will go *insert whatever you are going to do* and give you your time. Once the guy is out, he will be the loving and caring guy you have always known.
Most important is to know the signs
Hope that helped a bit. 6pm now. Going back home. Bye [/url]
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very true...especially those man wif few words...Originally posted by toothie:sometimes... i find that by saying 'nothing' can really sort alot of things.. though it is not a great word.. but it can put to use in alot of situation...
"nothing" can stop a situation fast and quick.. especially when the ger meets another embarrassment?
btw.. it is not only gers like to use "nothing".. i know of some guys whom like to say "nothing" as well! -
sigh..............NOTHING is never a thing ,its thingS..........
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definately will lor....Originally posted by milkshake:so wat if guy sae nothing, will gers ponder over tat?
if my bf tell mi "nothing" but he really sound weird...then i will think whether i hv done or said anything wrongly anot
If a gal said "nothing"....then u better dun ask further to irritate her.
Leave alone 1st....aft a while then ask her again lor.
sometimes she might want to tell u "something" but is not prepare yet......
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Yup often that IS the hardest part. Its like you know this is going to happen but YET you still continue to do things that might hurt yourself and your partner.Originally posted by Si|verGer:i did read abt it & it did reli make mi open & widen my knowledage abt guys & gers but although it did it still need to put it into action & practice often. . .
Up till now I still find it hard to practise what I preach. I must make a conscientious effort to do that. -
well... i agree i start to reach the "peak"... i believe tat is becuz of my feeling of being helpless.... i no longer noe wat to do..... i tried everything.... i ignore him den he say i dun care anymore... i used to keep asking how he was... but i noe how irritating it is when one keep buzzing around ur ears asking u wat is the problem with u... i noe guys turn to guys to solve their problems... so i encourage him to go to his friends and tok to them abt his problems... i dun mind him going out while i sit at hm and rot... i dun wan him to worry abt me being outside and add to his problems.... but he cannot tok to his friends abt his problems also... he dun like to tok abt his problems i guess.... with tat thinking in mind i use other methods like distract him from his problems... even if he giving black face or throwing tanturm... i will pretend nothing happens... juz be my happy usual cheery self... hopefully it will influence him to be cheerful also... but tat doesnt help alot also... its not easy to smile when it hurts inside... the only thing tat makes me very angry is when he ignores me... when i tok to him and he juz keep walking... even a yes no ans is alrite for me... but ignoring me completely will make me really hot... especially when sometimes the problem lies with his friendship problems and he give me the attitude.... i mean... i am not the one who make him so angry... why is he punishing me like tat.... i noe guys are not like gals... we can be very angry at the person who caused our unhappiness and next min smile sweetly at the rest of our friends... i try to be understand... sometimes i really dunno wats going onOriginally posted by Peppermint:Ok Rain_Tree
This is for you. Hope I still can recall most of it.
First you must understand that man can never endure too much itimacy. He has to get in touch with his masculine self before he feels smothered by love. But he also cannot do without it.
Rubber Band Effect
Think of the man's affection for you as a rubber band. The more he gives you love, the more it stretches. Until a time whereby it *snaps* much like what will happen to a real rubber band if you stretch it long enough.
The time whereby it's at is breaking point is also when you feel that suddenly you feel neglected. (The affection level for you has reached its peak, He can give you no more) so you will start to ask him to do funny things like *send me home*, say things like *do you still love?*. Of course you know that he still loves you, but you need the assurance.
However, at this point in time, the man is a breaking point, the more you try to pull him back, the further he will try to run. Until he breaks, and that may be because why a couple quarrels about such stuffs.
If you stretch a rubber band tight, and let it go, it will bounce back violently. Same like a man, let him go, let him off for a while, when he is stretched to his limit, he will eventually bounce back, and thats when you will get all the love and affection you need.
Its natural, and I always tell my galfriends that. Guys will understand it, when they need to go out with friends, do some male bonding, but may be witheld by their partners.
Hope it helps. I will explain more on the caveman thing later
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hahaha......Originally posted by zacken99:wah u easier to coax hor ,zhao zhi tao xuan ni shun le.... 
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ignoring him is worst.... he crave attention.... i totally haf no idea wat is the cause of it.... juz like u guys haf no idea why gals say nothing... he says i am not sensitive enuff to be a gal.... well...Originally posted by Peppermint:To Rain Tree
To continue with my Caveman Theory.
Sometimes, you may find that your man is quiet, keeping to himself, when you ask him anything he just say nothing nothing nothing. Then suddenly, after ignoring him for a while, he's back to normal as if nothing has happened. Frustrated? Confused? Dont be. Lots of women out there having this same problem.
To solve the problem, we must first understand why it happens? i.e the cause.
For women, if they have any problems, they prefer to *speak* it out loud, talk it over with their galfriends. They need to *hear* their problem. They feel better this way and this is how they cope with their problems. Of course if it works for the gals, the gal will also assume it will work for the guy. Thats why the gal will keep asking *why?, anything wrong? tell me tell* as she feels that the guy would be better if he pours everything out.
But guys are different.
When guys have problems, they prefer to think it over in their minds, pouring over each and every possibilities. They need peace and most importantly their own *cave*. When a man retreats into his cave, he is saying that *I do not want to be disturbed. Please give me some time alone. When I am done, I will come out and everything will be solved.* So what you as a lady should do is if he goes into his *cave*, ask him *Do you need some time alone? If so I will go *insert whatever you are going to do* and give you your time. Once the guy is out, he will be the loving and caring guy you have always known.
Most important is to know the signs
Hope that helped a bit. 6pm now. Going back home. Bye [/url] .... to me is like erm.... if i am too sensitive den i am sulky and unreasonable and spoilt.... if i am not too sensitive den i am not suitable to me a gal.... 
.... i already dunno wat else to do.... i run after him to see wats his problem... he dun tell me..... he ignore me.... i dun run after him liao give him time to think abt it and come tell me..... he say i dun care abt him anymore.... i am not as sweet already.... i juz sit quietly and pei him when he is sad... he say i am one gal who dunno how to make bf happy..... i explain to him why i do things the way i do them so tat he wun misunderstand and i believe with understanding of ones action he will be more tolerant.... but he juz shut his ears and refuse to listen... sometimes he will be unhappy out of the blue.... i am sooooooo clueless... den start thinking back wat haf i done wrong.... wat i said...... most of the time i find nothing... all i can do is wait for him to be alrite... i dun mind he scold me for no reason... at least he bother to scold and at least i get a very very slight clue wat he is unhappy abt... but he juz kept quiet and unhappy... *sigh*
but say the truth.... he is one great guy...
ur advices are very helpful.... thx alot alot -
i believe alot of gals are lar..... lolzOriginally posted by CroW:totali agree...
guys can chose to ignore...but u tink gers can b magnanimous enough2 4giv thm4their ignorance...
how i wish gers can... then alot of quarrels can avoid liao...
the 'nothing' say by gers s reali misleading...
i totali agree...speciali those shy-by-nature ger....
people pls, if u tink u need 2b excuse as u need 2tink of anythg or just dun wan2answer the question...how come u cant jus say the truth...
saying nothing wil cause alot of uncessary argument n disagreement...
some pple may say, its part n parcel of r/s, but come2tink of it, izit worth it, jus bcuz of the continous use of 'nothing' word, causes a r/s to fall... personali, i dun tink its worth it...;p
gals are more emotional by nature..... i am more tom boy tats why i am more rational... u wun wan all gals to think like guys rite..... might as well date them... hehehehe
i think saying nothing is when they are thinking.... of wat is making them upset..... cannot multi task mah... thinking tat time how to tell u leh... let them think finish liao den tell u loh.... but make sure u watch her expression lar.... if tat nothing comes with sacartism den u watch out loh..... means trouble is coming if u dun hurry up and coax her -
to miaintain a relationship is really not easy... gt to give but still gt to watch out when to give...
give too less cannot give too much being take for granted.
its really nt easy to sart,maintain a relationship.
it always take 2 to clap.....but no 2 person can really think alike....there bound to hv some differences.......
hope all of will able to get the least differences partner n able to appreciate him/her..... -
Rain_Tree
I believe I can empthaise with your problems. Sometimes I am like that also. Like I mentioned its really hard to put this into practise, both parties have to be aware of themselves and their emotional beings. You are actually doing very well, its just that your bf does not truely realise the good points of you YET. Once he does, I am sure that he will appreciate all that you have done.
Perhaps you may want to try this. Its also from the book and if I recall they call it writing a Love Letter. Just from the top of my head the main points are (perhaps Silver_Ger can help me fill up the missing parts seeing that she has read the book before)
The letter will consist of several portions
Anger
Express yourself and tell him why you feel angry about the way he has treated you. Make your feelings known.
Sadness
Express in detail why exactly you are sad. What made you sad. The actions he did or did not do that make you sad. This will need to be related to the *Anger* part. That is from *Anger* you slowly progress to *Sadness* as you get more in touch with your emotional self.
Afraid
Why the above actions make you worried, frightened. Example, you may fear that he may find that you are not suitable from him etc
Love
All the many many things that you love and adore him for. (should be easy)
Words you want him to say
This is the most important part imo. Write down the words that you want him to say at then end of reading then letter. For example, *At the end of this letter, the words that I wish to hear from you would be *I'm sorry that I've hurt you etc etc*
The best way would be to let him read it alone, and request that he write back using the same format.
Hope it helps a bit more this time. Keep us updated -
hehe....... i often write him emails when i am very upset.... i used to write diaries and it contain the saddest part of my life..... well.... i am a very contented and cheerful person so if i am going to write happy entries i would be very biz rite.... hehehe.... me lazy mah... now i write to him... out of the blue i would send him very cute ecards telling him i love him and how important he is to me... it means alot to me when he reply my emails.... shows tat he bother to solve the problems.... if he doesnt.... well.... i juz take it tat he read it and he got nothing much to say... i always believe in patience... one of my stronger points bah... i dun haf much so i try to do better in areas where i think i can... in letters i write... i make sure it is more constructive and more careful on words i use... more of "we can do this and tat" and not "but u always"...... i dun wan it to sound like i am scolding him but juz wan him to noe i am really concern... end of it i would ask him to forgive me if in any part of the letter i accuse him of things he didnt do bah... if i did den ask him to claritfy loh....Originally posted by Peppermint:Rain_Tree
I believe I can empthaise with your problems. Sometimes I am like that also. Like I mentioned its really hard to put this into practise, both parties have to be aware of themselves and their emotional beings. You are actually doing very well, its just that your bf does not truely realise the good points of you YET. Once he does, I am sure that he will appreciate all that you have done.
Perhaps you may want to try this. Its also from the book and if I recall they call it writing a Love Letter. Just from the top of my head the main points are (perhaps Silver_Ger can help me fill up the missing parts seeing that she has read the book before)
The letter will consist of several portions
Anger
Express yourself and tell him why you feel angry about the way he has treated you. Make your feelings known.
Sadness
Express in detail why exactly you are sad. What made you sad. The actions he did or did not do that make you sad. This will need to be related to the *Anger* part. That is from *Anger* you slowly progress to *Sadness* as you get more in touch with your emotional self.
Afraid
Why the above actions make you worried, frightened. Example, you may fear that he may find that you are not suitable from him etc
Love
All the many many things that you love and adore him for. (should be easy)
Words you want him to say
This is the most important part imo. Write down the words that you want him to say at then end of reading then letter. For example, *At the end of this letter, the words that I wish to hear from you would be *I'm sorry that I've hurt you etc etc*
The best way would be to let him read it alone, and request that he write back using the same format.
Hope it helps a bit more this time. Keep us updated -
arather gooood way indeed...........Originally posted by rain_tree:hehe....... i often write him emails when i am very upset.... i used to write diaries and it contain the saddest part of my life..... well.... i am a very contented and cheerful person so if i am going to write happy entries i would be very biz rite.... hehehe.... me lazy mah... now i write to him... out of the blue i would send him very cute ecards telling him i love him and how important he is to me... it means alot to me when he reply my emails.... shows tat he bother to solve the problems.... if he doesnt.... well.... i juz take it tat he read it and he got nothing much to say... i always believe in patience... one of my stronger points bah... i dun haf much so i try to do better in areas where i think i can... in letters i write... i make sure it is more constructive and more careful on words i use... more of "we can do this and tat" and not "but u always"...... i dun wan it to sound like i am scolding him but juz wan him to noe i am really concern... end of it i would ask him to forgive me if in any part of the letter i accuse him of things he didnt do bah... if i did den ask him to claritfy loh.... -
Originally posted by zacken99:arather gooood way indeed...........
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bcoz u r used to it & oso by the surroundings influence. . .in the end it hard to change coz it bcum nature & a habit to behave dat way. . .Originally posted by Peppermint:Yup often that IS the hardest part. Its like you know this is going to happen but YET you still continue to do things that might hurt yourself and your partner.
Up till now I still find it hard to practise what I preach. I must make a conscientious effort to do that. -
Speaking from experience? Hmm you people wake up so early? Most of the replys are like in the a.m oneOriginally posted by Si|verGer:bcoz u r used to it & oso by the surroundings influence. . .in the end it hard to change coz it bcum nature & a habit to behave dat way. . . -
i think is ppl slp late..... me for example slp at 6amOriginally posted by Peppermint:Speaking from experience? Hmm you people wake up so early? Most of the replys are like in the a.m one -
Luc85 writes "*R&R - Rest & Relax
HUMANS AND DOLPHINS are the only animals that engage in sex for pleasure. About 100 million acts of sexual intercourse occur daily, says the World Health Organization. Only the female gender has an organ whose sole purpose is to give sexual satisfaction - the clitoris. Are these carnal revelations too raw for you? Then run, run, save yourself¡K are you still here¡K you want to know more don't you¡K read on¡K
Sex revelation 1
The best cure for menstrual cramps is¡K
Ladies, what's the best cure for menstrual cramps? An orgasm! The muscle that contracts during cramps is actually the same muscle being released during an orgasm.
Here's another shocker! Don't be surprised if the next time you have menstrual cramps, you experience an orgasm. Menstrual cramps, yes, pain-pain-painful menstrual cramps, have been known to bring on an orgasm in very rare cases.
Sex revelation 2
This country uses the most condoms¡K
In Nevada, it's legal to have sex without a condom. In Japan, birth control pills are illegal. So which country do you think uses the most condoms?
The winner is the Land of the Rising Sun.
Today in Japan, condoms are available, literally, right at your doorsteps. Like cosmetics, they're sold door to door by women, mainly to women.
Sex revelation 3
Semen tastes like¡K
Lipstick was said to be invented in the early Egyptian days for women who specialized in oral sex. They wanted their lips to look like their vulva, so as to appear more inviting to Egyptian men.
Generally, the taste of a man's semen depends on his diet. And there're about 7 calories in a teaspoon of semen.
Alkaline-based food, like fish and some meat, produces a buttery, fishy taste in the semen. Garlic gives a garlicky taste while dairy products a foul taste. The foulest taste of them all is said to be produced by eating asparagus. Acidic fruits and alcohol (except processed liquors) give it a sweet tang.
By the way, oral sex firms up the lower face nicely.
Sex revelation 4
I have a headache, honey¡K
Alas, wives can no longer use headache as an excuse not to have sex with their husbands¡K unless their husbands still don't know that sex is in fact one of the best ways to get rid of a headache. During sexual intercourse, the release of endorphins (pain relieving hormones with properties similar to morphine) acts as a pain-suppressant for the headache, relieving you of your immediate discomfort. So you feel a lot better.
But in rare cases, sex can also cause headaches. If you suffer from these sex headaches frequently, give your General Practitioner a visit.
Do you know what's a common side effect of using Viagra? Bingo! It's headache.
Sex revelation 5
Sexy numbers that put you to zzz¡K
An average lovemaking session burns off about 100 calories.
It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 116 muscles to climax.
The fastest speed for erotic sensations to travel from underneath the skin to the brain is timed at 251.16 km per hour.
You can hope for more, but an orgasm generally lasts around 3-11 seconds, and the orgasmic contractions for both men and women are on par at 0.8 seconds intervals.
The bigger the orgasm, the sounder you'll sleep. But take note, having multiple orgasms, let's say 20 times or more per hour, can induce coma.
Sex revelation 6
Size matters¡K
During foreplay, a woman's breast can increase up to as much as 25% - not that this happens every time of course. In response to the sexual stimulations, the increase in blood flow also often causes the veins in the breasts to show more obviously.
Since we're onto the subject of size, here's a piece of good news going out to fleshy women out there. A worldwide survey of men's tastes in women revealed that more men preferred plump women to slim ones. So much for fat hope, ay?
Sex revelation 7
Chocolate + coffee makes a nymphomaniac¡K
If you're a chocolate addict, it sure explains a lot of things.
Well, chocolate contains phenylethylamine (PEA), the very chemical that flows through the veins of someone in love. You know what I mean, it's responsible for the feelings responding to love - the sensations of euphoria, bliss and sexual attraction.
In addition, chocolate also contains phytosteral, a plant substance that may mimic human sex hormones. (Perhaps this explains why some women crave for chocolates just before menstruation, when their hormone levels dip.) Add up these 2 chemicals and you understand why chocolate is referred to as a sex food. Right, dear chocolate addict?
And if you're a chocolate addict and a coffee drinker, blessed art thou. According to the Archives of General Medicine, coffee drinkers have sex more often and enjoy it more than non-coffee drinkers.
I wonder if chocolate and coffee explain why statistics indicate that Australian women are the most likely to have sex on the first date?
Sex revelation 8
Are these sex laws for real¡K
Many thought the ban on chewing gum was ludicrous. Wait till you read about these laws in US taken off the internet:
In San Francisco, 1964, a jury awarded US$50,000 to a woman who claimed a cable car accident turned her into a nymphomaniac.
In Florida, a woman cannot call a male... honey, sweetie or darling, and she can be arrested for pinching his butt.
In Oxford, Ohio, women are forbidden to strip naked in front of a man's picture.
In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, women are not allowed to have sex with a truck driver in a tollbooth.
In the state of Washington, it's illegal to have sex with an under-16 under any circumstances (and that includes the wedding night)." -
*yAwNs*
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is haven zzz abt to zz. . . =X erm mayb it tur experience too if u really ask urself frm the bottem of ur heart abt wad i say it truth sumtime when u wif ur gf u r happy but sumtime u juz hope she wld b abit more better like mayb more caring or more understanding ,etc. . .Originally posted by Peppermint:Speaking from experience? Hmm you people wake up so early? Most of the replys are like in the a.m one
as they say human r nv contented wif wad they hv. . .they wish 4 more or shld i say hunger? -
TAN is proven to b the worst human nature .....Originally posted by Si|verGer:is haven zzz abt to zz. . . =X erm mayb it tur experience too if u really ask urself frm the bottem of ur heart abt wad i say it truth sumtime when u wif ur gf u r happy but sumtime u juz hope she wld b abit more better like mayb more caring or more understanding ,etc. . .
as they say human r nv contented wif wad they hv. . .they wish 4 more or shld i say hunger? -
I have nothing to say and yet I'm saying it. -
Subject: Female Dictionary
> > 1. "Fine"
> > This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument
> > that they feel
> > they are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use
> > fine to describe
> > how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of
> > those arguments.
> >
> > 2. "Five minutes"
> > This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
> > minutes that your
> > football game is going to last before you take out the
> > rubbish, so they
> > feel that it's an even trade.
> >
> > 3. "Nothing"
> > This means something and you should be on your toes.
> > "Nothing" is usually
> > used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to
> > turn you inside out,
> > upside down, backwards, or all three. "Nothing" usually
> > signifies an
> > argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the
> > word "Fine".
> >
> > 4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows):
> > This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting
> > upset over
> > "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
> >
> > 5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows):
> > This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I
> > don't care". You will
> > get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes,
> > followed by
> > "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about
> > "Five Minutes" when
> > she cools off.
> >
> > 6. (Loud Sigh)
> > This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
> > statement very
> > misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you
> > are an idiot at
> > that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time
> > standing here and
> > arguing with you over "Nothing".
> >
> > 7. (Soft Sigh)
> > Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs"
> > are one of the few
> > things that some men actually understand. She is content.
> > Your best bet is
> > to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
> >
> > 8. "Oh !"
> > This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example;
> > "Oh, let me get
> > that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about that you were doing
> > last night". If
> > she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN (do not walk) to
> > the nearest exit.
> > She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done
> > tossing your clothes
> > out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for
> > at least 2 days.
> > "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you
> > are caught in a
> > lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will
> > get raised
> > eyebrows, "Go ahead", followed by acts so unspeakable
> > that I can't bring
> > myself to write about them.
> >
> > 9. "That's Okay"
> > This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman
> > can say to a man.
> > "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard
> > before paying you
> > retributions for whatever it is that you have done.
> > "That's Okay" is often
> > used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a
> > raised eyebrow and
> > "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has
> > plotted and
> > planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
> >
> > 10. "Please Do"
> > This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is
> > giving you the chance
> > to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for
> > doing whatever it is
> > that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the
> > truth, so be careful
> > and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
> >
> > 11. "Thanks"
> > The woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say "you're
> > welcome".
> >
> > 12. "Thanks A Lot !!"
> > This is very different to "Thanks". A woman will say,
> > "Thanks A Lot!!" when
> > she is REALLY pi*sed off at you. It signifies that you
> > have hurt her in
> > some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud
> > Sigh". Be careful not
> > to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will
> > only tell you
> > "Nothing".
> > -
me too encounter such problemOriginally posted by zacken99:tokking to a ger jus nw she was happily sharing her day wif mi...
but suddenly she kept quiet... ask her wat happen she say nothing...i think bk,but cant find anything dat i hv said wrongly...
funny ... do gers really like to use 'nothing' to avoid ans?
remember yrs ago had a gf... whenever she is dwn ,moody or unhappy, and i ask her wat happen,she will always say 'nothing'
'nothing 'really is the real ans meh?
as time pass i took'nothing' as it is...but gers say i insensitive...
i believe lots of bros here exp the same thing b4 rite?
so dear sg gers can enlighten?
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thanks dats a very useful information...............