When talking to gals
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Hi people,
Recently,a close female friend of me commented that I am a good listener but I do not talk too much about myself.I know I am a good active and passive listener.I maintain eye contact throughout and pay very close attention to a gal when she speaks to me(even if Celest Chong walks past,I'll not notice) I do not just nod my head and mutter affirmatives either.I always try to give a response to what she said.Oh yes,I make extensive use of the "empathy" or "paraphrasing" tactic also.It has been proven to be very effective so far.
My belief is that the gal should always be the focus of attention and thus the conversation should centre around the gal unless she asks the guy questions about his affairs.Only then should the guy answer,but he should use his answer to ask for comments from the gal( focusing on the gal again)
Any comments on this approach?
I think I may need to make some changes to this approach. -
ehhh tis method is quite gd coz it will allow her to open up again but sumtime preharps u can use sum of ur real life experiences to share w her & ask her 4 comments or to console her wif ur experience. . .Originally posted by Doenitz:Hi people,
Recently,a close female friend of me commented that I am a good listener but I do not talk too much about myself.I know I am a good active and passive listener.I maintain eye contact throughout and pay very close attention to a gal when she speaks to me(even if Celest Chong walks past,I'll not notice) I do not just nod my head and mutter affirmatives either.I always try to give a response to what she said.Oh yes,I make extensive use of the "empathy" or "paraphrasing" tactic also.It has been proven to be very effective so far.
My belief is that the gal should always be the focus of attention and thus the conversation should centre around the gal unless she asks the guy questions about his affairs.Only then should the guy answer,but he should use his answer to ask for comments from the gal( focusing on the gal again)
Any comments on this approach?
I think I may need to make some changes to this approach.
hmm nx time anyone need listening ear muz find u liao
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U seemed very pro...
u sure listen to lessons ..whatever u are taking... i learn about all that too..paraphrasing n stuff... but i guess to listen to someone.. is LISTEN not HEAR.. if u can make that clear..then u are there... do listen n don't interupt... only give comments when u are suppose to... think about e comments u gonna say before saying... u wouldn't wanna hurt e person even more.. never joke when talking about something serious.. i think its rude... even if ur intention is to cheer that person up... well its depends on e situation too... to really understand his/her situation, put yourself in his/her shoes.. give general opinions.. don't give comments that is based on your own perception.. 
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Originally posted by Doenitz:Hi people,
Recently,a close female friend of me commented that I am a good listener but I do not talk too much about myself.I know I am a good active and passive listener.I maintain eye contact throughout and pay very close attention to a gal when she speaks to me(even if Celest Chong walks past,I'll not notice) I do not just nod my head and mutter affirmatives either.I always try to give a response to what she said.Oh yes,I make extensive use of the "empathy" or "paraphrasing" tactic also.It has been proven to be very effective so far.
My belief is that the gal should always be the focus of attention and thus the conversation should centre around the gal unless she asks the guy questions about his affairs.Only then should the guy answer,but he should use his answer to ask for comments from the gal( focusing on the gal again)
Any comments on this approach?
I think I may need to make some changes to this approach. -
Originally posted by Si|verGer:ehhh tis method is quite gd coz it will allow her to open up again but sumtime preharps u can use sum of ur real life experiences to share w her & ask her 4 comments or to console her wif ur experience. . .
hmm nx time anyone need listening ear muz find u liao -
Originally posted by GIJOE:U seemed very pro... u sure listen to lessons ..whatever u are taking... i learn about all that too..paraphrasing n stuff... but i guess to listen to someone.. is LISTEN not HEAR.. if u can make that clear..then u are there... do listen n don't interupt... only give comments when u are suppose to... think about e comments u gonna say before saying... u wouldn't wanna hurt e person even more.. never joke when talking about something serious.. i think its rude... even if ur intention is to cheer that person up... well its depends on e situation too... to really understand his/her situation, put yourself in his/her shoes.. give general opinions.. don't give comments that is based on your own perception..
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No,I am still learning my ropes and I learned about all these from books.Originally posted by GIJOE:U seemed very pro... u sure listen to lessons ..whatever u are taking... i learn about all that too..paraphrasing n stuff... but i guess to listen to someone.. is LISTEN not HEAR.. if u can make that clear..then u are there... do listen n don't interupt... only give comments when u are suppose to... think about e comments u gonna say before saying... u wouldn't wanna hurt e person even more.. never joke when talking about something serious.. i think its rude... even if ur intention is to cheer that person up... well its depends on e situation too... to really understand his/her situation, put yourself in his/her shoes.. give general opinions.. don't give comments that is based on your own perception..
Guess I have to open up more now. -
