why?
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Then again... Who would know...?Originally posted by aHGer^83:haha...i dun even noe how long am i gonna live til..
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i dunno.. abt dat..but...Originally posted by jedisg80:dont like that say lor ...
i find that most likely both of u have done something worng ...
& not u alone ....
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morning~~
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but wat?Originally posted by aHGer^83:i dunno.. abt dat..but... 
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hiyaz aHGer^83, though i may not know ya for a long time neither tok to ya b4 i am juz browsing thru and saw that u were down. dunno if the prob is still persisting but juz so to sure my views with ya.
For a r/s to work out fine wifout any hitches is for both to be emotionally involved (2 hands to clap) and guess u should noe tis. sometimes knowing is not enuff u haf to understand and put into use. from wat i can see.. like some of ur frenz here have mentioned u are truely aware of wat u are going through and just think that the r/s is moving on.. but wat i can see frm wat u mentioned was that the r/s had come to a stop. he is obviously taking ya for granted u see? why do he wanna u stay when u wanna leave the gambling place? it can becoz of 'face', the pride in him... showing his frens he has got a gf wif him, or becoz he tot by asking u to stay means he had accompanied you for the day and he knew u loved him so hes sure u will do it and this boosted his ego and for men its like luck is shining on him when hes got his ego boosted up. if this r/s has been broken once or twice, the crack cannot be mended back, things will be difft, taking a broken vase for eg. even if u glued the pieces back, there are still cracks, its more vulnerable and tend to break again even when u are juz holding it in ur hands. the vase will look difft right? all these are very simple logics and i think most of ur frens haf told ya these things. actually when it comes to r/s probs not many of us can help ya becoz wat we are going to say are the same old things again u will hear on every separation. u will find it tired one day and the most impt is to find ur most understanding fren to accompany ya let u cry it out if u can... ur best fren will not say anything becoz she noes wateva she says will not get into your mind. and tml again u will tell urself get over it but den again not long u will go back to him. so u haf to pick ur courage up, i am sure u are a sensible gal, ask yourself a few qns like, are feeling worse wif ur present bf than to breaking up? is the prob only lying within gambling? how good is the r/s progressing so far after the crack and will it be worth to cry over it? do i haf to put all the blame to myself? ask urself wat haf u contributed in this r/s? and wateva qns u can ask urself becoz i dunno u well.
i saw in one of the post u pushed the blame to yourself and thinks that u did not treat him well enuff and tts why hes now changed into a difft person. even if part of u played the fault i dun think its totally all urs. he too.. bottom line is tat needs both hands to clap. now the third party is gambling that is coming between ya u think... and he do not want a proper conversation over this prob. u are very bothered by the whole thing and is making u really unhappy. and so ask urself do u wanna leave in this darkness foreva and one day to find out u had taken the wrong path and lost another potential one? u are not old and can be considered very young ya noe? if u cannot walk out alone from this darkness, no one can help ya becoz u are all alone in tis situation, you haf to tell urself that u can do it and bring out all ur confidence in you, be brave and face the reality that u are lost, dun try to cheat urself anymore when u noe the real problem. the mind belongs to you and the ppl ard u cannot understand the mind of urs becoz its something special each and every one of us own. even if the ppl can influence your thinking the final decision is still yours. so walk out by urself from the darkness but of coz wif the directions your frens had given and the final decision is all yours when u had chosen one of the directions given.
i dunno if u understand wat am i trying to put across to you... anyway i think i am brain dead at tis time.. when i haben slept trying to finish my ppt slides. if i can think of anything else to help ya i will.. but i shall give ya an eg of my account hopefully it will help ya in the end.
take care gal, everything is not the end of the world yet dun leave in sorrow but leave in happiness in pride.
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opps i din noe tt post was so long.. sorry..
anyway, to tell u an account.
i had a 4yrs bf whom met me everyday becoz i will go to the market everyday after sch and go back do housework and cook dinner for the family including him, he comes back to my hse everyday and we were juz like husband and wife for 4yrs. he was like a pillar to me, wifout him i would collapse and in the end i did collapse but den was rebuilt. we broke off juz a mth b4 the ROM and he got married in 2mths after we broke off to a thai lady and not long later she was found to be 3mths pregnant. see the story? he was obviously wif her and bedding her and i when i was wif him and i did not noe that.. all along for 4yrs i supported him and the money i helped out at my family business ($800) was usually given to him every month. everything was so beautiful but when we first broke off in 1997, there was already a crack and i was naive enuff to believe he had taken a turn in his life and changed for the better yet subsequently breakups were common seen and it seemed like juz drinking water. i heeded no one's advice and carried on loving him blindly. he do not gamble but hes into a kinda god frm thai that requires him to feed the statues wif food and so forth. its called xiao gui. until he could neglect me and the r/s turned cold. i was like in ur situation and did not noe wat to do and i felt that fren's voices were juz plain useless i needed him and so forth... but one day i realised i haf to walk out of tis myself. and i did but the effect was too strong i tried to commit suicide and went ard sleeping wif men to numb myself. his sudden marriage shocked me more and brought me into a depression. i was no longer the wendy my mum had. everyone was worried... but den again after 3mths i gotten over it coz someone else had the potential to love me again... and i felt loved again and slowly i tot if i din break off wif tt jerk i would not haf tis new love a new life... den after 2yrs i broke off again which is juz 8mths ago. it was a disaster n again i was down drinking and clubbing away... spent money like water again.. but how did i get over tt and became wat i am today making frens frm the forum here? its coz i had too many experiences and knew what will happen... history will repeat itself wif those dramatic scenes n i m tired of it... so even if tis is the 3rd r./s for ya... no worries.. in life not everybody is so lucky to be married to the first love... some ppl may juz take time .. esp when u are such an outgoing gal.. i am sure there are tons of guys after ya so u will haf more chances and and maybe tis kinda thing will happen again and u will be so sad.. (not a curse hor... juz telling frm experience) but so be it... sad and get it over in a day after doing the fav thing u wanted to do most when u were wif him and did not get the chance to do it... it will brighten up ur day and everyday is a difft day.. u will not noe one day u will juz get married and u will think back how silly u haf been in the past.
so cheer up gal...! i am sure u can do it!
good luck to ya!
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eh hw cum like dat?? tot u say he treat u v well liao got changed 4 better??Originally posted by aHGer^83:hey all...i dunno if i did the rite thing to post my bgr prob here...
i dunnno wad's my prob here...but suddenly...i felt dat my bf has changed into...someone...who is beginning to be a stranger to me...i mean perhaps cos i dun understand him well enuff den i went steady wif him...but...i dunno...he claims dat he loves me...but he hasnt doen anything to prove it...he spend most of his time wif his frens gambling...and he WOULD rather gamble den to spend time wif me...when he starts to be so into the game...i would leave and he will tell me not to leave...i dun leave den?? WTF he wans me to do? sit beside him and fall asleep? i tried many ways to talk to him...but there's oways calls coming in interupting and stuffs...i dunno...but i think im pretty sad here...anyway...i just wan to tell everyone here, guys and gers, dat a gambler can be a good bf/gf, but DEFINITLY NOT a good wife/hubby
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kaOz. . .u like dat abit encourage ppl go gamble leh!Originally posted by Celi7Celi:Some ppl do gamble and become rich... There's good and bad points. Some things girls do and guys wouldn't like too.. No offence
eh it best not to gamble even if u do u muz reli hv gd self control. no1 is flawless or is perfect. . .but it always best not to choose a die-hard gambler. . .
although u shld give him chance but if he dun treasure it den 4get it. . .i hv a gambler xbf too, i tot i can change him yes he did change but temp although i gald he did change but still gamble temptations is too muc 4 him. . . -
Evening~!
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he hint him u wana get 2nd job but it nt link to asking him stop gamble mah. . .Originally posted by aHGer^83:he used to be a small gambler like...play mahjong and daidee when i knew him...now...his getting "bigger into the buisness" he starts to u noe...become a...bookie now...and i hinted him so many time dat im lookin for a second job after chinese new year...he wld oways tell me not to look for it and ask " u work so many jobs for wad?"
i was just hinting him not to gamble anymore...he wldnt listen...
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dun worry u still as hot as last time! think got many guys will q up 4 u!Originally posted by aHGer^83:haha~ i tink soon enuff i can post another topic liaoz..." who wanna be my bf?" or " im freee~~~" haha... -
hey u dun blame urself leh. . .it juz he duno hw to appreciate u guess ppl r like dat only when it gone den knw hw to cherishOriginally posted by aHGer^83:i noe...but it doesn't seem to help in my case...his hopeless i guess...or perhaps it was me? it wasn't him at fault all the way...perhaps i din treat him good enuff?er...yeah...yeah...i guess dat's y he doesn't wanna stay by me... -
me pat pat wendy. sorry to heard dat. . .but then gald u r strong to overcum all tis!Originally posted by wendy81:opps i din noe tt post was so long.. sorry..
anyway, to tell u an account.
i had a 4yrs bf whom met me everyday becoz i will go to the market everyday after sch and go back do housework and cook dinner for the family including him, he comes back to my hse everyday and we were juz like husband and wife for 4yrs. he was like a pillar to me, wifout him i would collapse and in the end i did collapse but den was rebuilt. we broke off juz a mth b4 the ROM and he got married in 2mths after we broke off to a thai lady and not long later she was found to be 3mths pregnant. see the story? he was obviously wif her and bedding her and i when i was wif him and i did not noe that.. all along for 4yrs i supported him and the money i helped out at my family business ($800) was usually given to him every month. everything was so beautiful but when we first broke off in 1997, there was already a crack and i was naive enuff to believe he had taken a turn in his life and changed for the better yet subsequently breakups were common seen and it seemed like juz drinking water. i heeded no one's advice and carried on loving him blindly. he do not gamble but hes into a kinda god frm thai that requires him to feed the statues wif food and so forth. its called xiao gui. until he could neglect me and the r/s turned cold. i was like in ur situation and did not noe wat to do and i felt that fren's voices were juz plain useless i needed him and so forth... but one day i realised i haf to walk out of tis myself. and i did but the effect was too strong i tried to commit suicide and went ard sleeping wif men to numb myself. his sudden marriage shocked me more and brought me into a depression. i was no longer the wendy my mum had. everyone was worried... but den again after 3mths i gotten over it coz someone else had the potential to love me again... and i felt loved again and slowly i tot if i din break off wif tt jerk i would not haf tis new love a new life... den after 2yrs i broke off again which is juz 8mths ago. it was a disaster n again i was down drinking and clubbing away... spent money like water again.. but how did i get over tt and became wat i am today making frens frm the forum here? its coz i had too many experiences and knew what will happen... history will repeat itself wif those dramatic scenes n i m tired of it... so even if tis is the 3rd r./s for ya... no worries.. in life not everybody is so lucky to be married to the first love... some ppl may juz take time .. esp when u are such an outgoing gal.. i am sure there are tons of guys after ya so u will haf more chances and and maybe tis kinda thing will happen again and u will be so sad.. (not a curse hor... juz telling frm experience) but so be it... sad and get it over in a day after doing the fav thing u wanted to do most when u were wif him and did not get the chance to do it... it will brighten up ur day and everyday is a difft day.. u will not noe one day u will juz get married and u will think back how silly u haf been in the past.
so cheer up gal...! i am sure u can do it!
good luck to ya!
dun ever get tied down by all tis coz ard u dat always ppl who cares & luv u. . .if u did foolish things they gonna b devastated.
i sure dat r alots more guys who will treat u v gd & appreciate u! -
yes...he did changed...but into a atoatlly fidd person...he's really becoming to be a stranger to me liaoz...Originally posted by Si|verGer:eh hw cum like dat?? tot u say he treat u v well liao got changed 4 better?? -
the way his gambling...any asshole wld noe wad im thinking...but too bad...he did heed my advice and stuffs...haiz...Originally posted by Si|verGer:he hint him u wana get 2nd job but it nt link to asking him stop gamble mah. . . -
... ... dunno wat to say...
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tink since u think dis way...shld not be wif him...scary sia...Originally posted by aHGer^83:yes...he did changed...but into a atoatlly fidd person...he's really becoming to be a stranger to me liaoz... 
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huh? tot u said he gamble less liao den u mean nw he go back his old way?Originally posted by aHGer^83:yes...he did changed...but into a atoatlly fidd person...he's really becoming to be a stranger to me liaoz... -
try to tell him directly lor tell him nicely. . .dun give him hints n assume he will knwOriginally posted by aHGer^83:the way his gambling...any asshole wld noe wad im thinking...but too bad...he did heed my advice and stuffs...haiz... -
I am a bit late for the topic but never the less.Originally posted by Si|verGer:kaOz. . .u like dat abit encourage ppl go gamble leh!
eh it best not to gamble even if u do u muz reli hv gd self control. no1 is flawless or is perfect. . .but it always best not to choose a die-hard gambler. . .
although u shld give him chance but if he dun treasure it den 4get it. . .i hv a gambler xbf too, i tot i can change him yes he did change but temp although i gald he did change but still gamble temptations is too muc 4 him. . .
Not gonig to comment about bgf cos i am not an expert.
But personally, speaking from experience, i dun agree that a person should not gamble.
Think about it, life itself is a gamble in the first place! Eg, when you go into a new relationship, how do you know if the relationship will turn out? You have to take a bet on that person rite? The key point is to gamble smartly and know when to cut loss.
Another important thing is to have very strong discipline and dun place all your bet in a single gamble.
The same goes to study. How do you choose which course to study? You have to based your bet on what you think is the prospect of your major. Even for exam, you need to make a smart gamble on what topics to study.
I remember someone mention that he will never find a partner who is a gamber to do business. Let me ask him, which business is garantee to earn money. If you dun take any risk? how to make money?
By the way, my current job require me to make smart gamble (sort of) frequently.