she's interested when u least expected
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say u happened to know a gal abt 2 mths ago, and u hit off very well. lots of things to chat abt and was clear to each other that both of u r of a friendship status, purely platonic kind.
and then when u least expected, she gave hints that she's interested in u.
for most guys, if u r unattached, and the girl is good-looking and has a pleasant personality, u will jump right into it, right?
well, u might think it's my luck coming, but i'm juz not ready for a relationship. she didnt explicitly tell her interest, but i can sense her hints over a phonecall.
but still, i wasnt 100% sure. maybe i was too paranoid which i could have mistaken her words for hints of interest.
if i tell her that i'm not interested and she wasnt hinting at all, it could create a very embarrassing and awkward situation for both of us.
if she's really hinting and i juz keep silent, i'm afraid that she'll go deeper and deeper until it becomes difficult for her to pull back.
if she's really hinting and i tell her i'm not interested, i'm afraid that i might hurt her. she's good-looking and pleasant, and i'm sure she has no lack of suitors, will it affect her self-confidence?
i really treasure the friendship and hope to stay in this way.
arrgghhh.... i juz missed my 3rd prize in 4D, and now this...
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then juz drop hints along the way.. tell her that you are not ready to go into relationship now -
i dont hint. i dont know how to. i'm quite direct in my speech. i dont beat around the bush.Originally posted by e|mo: then juz drop hints along the way.. tell her that you are not ready to go into relationship now -
how come you are not ready?
if you are unsure of whether she's hinting you or not, it will be better if you could ask her if she has ever like you before or not, if not you might really embarass yourself..
or maybe she's not hinting you, the way she talk could be the same towards everyone? -
that's why i not sure! dunno how to follow up! right now i only act blur. but if she really interested, i scared that she'll go deeper and deeper when time passes while i continue to act blur.Originally posted by kohanson:how come you are not ready?
if you are unsure of whether she's hinting you or not, it will be better if you could ask her if she has ever like you before or not, if not you might really embarass yourself..
or maybe she's not hinting you, the way she talk could be the same towards everyone? -
you can ask her like "have you ever liked me before?"Originally posted by wee (aka danger):that's why i not sure! dunno how to follow up! right now i only act blur. but if she really interested, i scared that she'll go deeper and deeper when time passes while i continue to act blur.
direct question! -
crap! do u know the possible consequences or not?Originally posted by kohanson:you can ask her like "have you ever liked me before?"
direct question! -
Have you ever been in a relationship before?
Why not give it a try?
Life is short... experience it to the fullest.
May the four RSN ladies rest in peace because they went to sleep without knowing that they will never wake up. -
Yah, you might lose her as a friend, or it will be awkward to chat on phone next time..Originally posted by wee (aka danger):crap! do u know the possible consequences or not?
But this is to clear your doubts about her mah.. if not you have to slowly hint her, like what e|mo said. -
my last relationship was almost 4 yrs ago. during this long period, of coz i yearn to have a girlfriend that can share my ups and downs, yearn to have a girlfriend to do shopping wif me when i wanna buy new clothes, yearn to have a girlfriend to hug when i feel romantic, yearn to have a girlfriend to make love with when i feel horny.Originally posted by CloneMe72:Have you ever been in a relationship before?
Why not give it a try?
Life is short... experience it to the fullest.
but i'm not the kind who juz try out a by getting into a relationship to see whether it works. i prefer to go slow. getting to know a girl as a friend first, build the comfort level towards each other. it might take months, it might take years.
during the friendship stage, i can know what kind of person she is, her attitude towards life and ppl around her. it also give her a chance to know me further. at least it gives the girl a chance to back out easily if she finds me not suitable, rather than backing out when we're already in a relationship.
if we're both mutually ready for a relationship, i'm sure it'll be a fruitful one.
but now in this situation, i dont really know her well enuff. i'm juz not ready. -
a very high risk to take. can consider but it'll be my last resort...Originally posted by kohanson:Yah, you might lose her as a friend, or it will be awkward to chat on phone next time..
But this is to clear your doubts about her mah.. if not you have to slowly hint her, like what e|mo said. -
I donno if u are having a problem similiar like me.. Sometime I think too much bout another opposite sex conversation which lead me tat she might be interested with me. Sometime it just pure flirting.. Maybe u was flirting over the phone with her n thus she flirt back with u so leading to the misunderstanding?
An advice to u is, dont think too much lor.... Just lets things take naturally... Try to go out with her.. Action speak louder than words... One small action from her can mean alots if she hinting u.. But den, she can just be lonely and need someone tat time too. But I admit tat someone the action also mislead me... Wat a problematic love life I'm experiencing.......... -
i dont think she's the flirting type. she's that kind of homely girl that doesnt go cheong nitespots type.Originally posted by edLow:I donno if u are having a problem similiar like me.. Sometime I think too much bout another opposite sex conversation which lead me tat she might be interested with me. Sometime it just pure flirting.. Maybe u was flirting over the phone with her n thus she flirt back with u so leading to the misunderstanding?
An advice to u is, dont think too much lor.... Just lets things take naturally... Try to go out with her.. Action speak louder than words... One small action from her can mean alots if she hinting u.. But den, she can just be lonely and need someone tat time too. But I admit tat someone the action also mislead me... Wat a problematic love life I'm experiencing..........
and i dont flirt wif girl like this. i'm the kind of person who "see human become human, see ghost become ghost, see animal become animal" type. if she lian, i become beng. if she eve, i become adam. u know what i mean?
and that's i wanna avoid too: needs someone at that time juz because she's lonely. what if she busy wif something else and doesnt need me anymore? i dont want that. -
Hey WEE, i guess what you can do now if u dun dare to ask her directly is to stop taking initiatives to contact her, let her do all the calling is she wants to. Most girls after some time, seeing that the guy not responding will get the hint, most girls are afterall quite shy, so they may not persist that long.
BUT...if she is the persistent kind, then u gotta watch the situation. If she keeps calling you, it is still ok, means she is not that deep yet, but if she starts to ask u on a ONE to ONE date..ah....thats when u need to take action liao.
ACtion. What actions? Most Effective choice though can be disastrous: tell her directly.
Alternative choices : In casual conversations, bring up the topic, for example:
Girl: Hello, ah wee in or not?
Wee: ya ya u who huh?
Girl: Me lor, pretty girl lah.
Wee: *shit*
Wee: Oh oh hi.
Girl: How are you....
*Then convesation goes on and on*then......
Wee: So sian huh, weekend coming liao, no where to go, where u going? go out with BF ah (at this pt MUST laugh)
Girl: No lah i where got bf, cant find a good guy leh.
Wee: aiyah dun bluff lah..
Girl: you leh, no GF ah?
Wee: No lah, I not ready for GF yet, i dun wan a relationship now, so i dun wan to think abt it.
*gets hint*
Girl: Oh ok...i call u another day.
AHEM, THERE!! the trick is to just die die must bring up the topic abt gf and bf lah...then u can indirectly tell her lor, pretend u dun noe she likes u!!!
IT WORKS! -
Doesnt cheong doesnt mean she cant flirt mah. Maybe the way she express herself is rather open and u misunderstand her msg?Originally posted by wee (aka danger):i dont think she's the flirting type. she's that kind of homely girl that doesnt go cheong nitespots type.
and i dont flirt wif girl like this. i'm the kind of person who "see human become human, see ghost become ghost, see animal become animal" type. if she lian, i become beng. if she eve, i become adam. u know what i mean?
and that's i wanna avoid too: needs someone at that time juz because she's lonely. what if she busy wif something else and doesnt need me anymore? i dont want that.
It better not to flirt lah, unless u n the ger very good frd.. Den she n u noe it just a joke....
Well, definately nobody wanna be a spare tyres. But den, if u really like her.. U also LL mah. So think carefully lor. Maybe u can try testing her out.
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think twice anyway, she could be misleading u and in a few days, u will be at her beck and call evry now and then...
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ha ha ha ha.... i think it's more of a joke than an advice. sorry, please pardon me, but u really made me smile for a moment.Originally posted by gasband:Hey WEE, i guess what you can do now if u dun dare to ask her directly is to stop taking initiatives to contact her, let her do all the calling is she wants to. Most girls after some time, seeing that the guy not responding will get the hint, most girls are afterall quite shy, so they may not persist that long.
BUT...if she is the persistent kind, then u gotta watch the situation. If she keeps calling you, it is still ok, means she is not that deep yet, but if she starts to ask u on a ONE to ONE date..ah....thats when u need to take action liao.
ACtion. What actions? Most Effective choice though can be disastrous: tell her directly.
Alternative choices : In casual conversations, bring up the topic, for example:
Girl: Hello, ah wee in or not?
Wee: ya ya u who huh?
Girl: Me lor, pretty girl lah.
Wee: *shit*
Wee: Oh oh hi.
Girl: How are you....
*Then convesation goes on and on*then......
Wee: So sian huh, weekend coming liao, no where to go, where u going? go out with BF ah (at this pt MUST laugh)
Girl: No lah i where got bf, cant find a good guy leh.
Wee: aiyah dun bluff lah..
Girl: you leh, no GF ah?
Wee: No lah, I not ready for GF yet, i dun wan a relationship now, so i dun wan to think abt it.
*gets hint*
Girl: Oh ok...i call u another day.
AHEM, THERE!! the trick is to just die die must bring up the topic abt gf and bf lah...then u can indirectly tell her lor, pretend u dun noe she likes u!!!
IT WORKS!
first, i treat her as a friend, not an unwanted attention. i'm not the kind who play mind games by not initiating call to her and let her do so all the time. i enjoy her company, frankly speaking, but not the romantic kind. i treasure all friendships regardless of gender. i'll look like a jerk if i were to give her such treatment.
second, the conversation u drawn up very comical, it did cheer me up for a moment. but then, i can't imagine both she and i having such a conversation. we juz doesn't fit into ur scenario loh. furthermore, both she and i already know that we're unattached liao. thus the last part of the conversation that u have drawn up is not relevant loh.
but thanks for ur advice. it did lead me to an another idea... -
The ger u mention not the SIA ger hor?
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well, i can tell what's flirting and what's not. and i know that she's definitely not. i dunno how to describe how she sounds or how her tone was like, so mebbe u guys cant imagine.Originally posted by edLow:Doesnt cheong doesnt mean she cant flirt mah. Maybe the way she express herself is rather open and u misunderstand her msg?
It better not to flirt lah, unless u n the ger very good frd.. Den she n u noe it just a joke....
Well, definately nobody wanna be a spare tyres. But den, if u really like her.. U also LL mah. So think carefully lor. Maybe u can try testing her out. -
hey, i find ur views very interesting, very different from others. care to describe more?Originally posted by Master -_-:think twice anyway, she could be misleading u and in a few days, u will be at her beck and call evry now and then... -
ha ha, no.Originally posted by edLow:The ger u mention not the SIA ger hor? -
LoL. I trust u.Originally posted by wee (aka danger):well, i can tell what's flirting and what's not. and i know that she's definitely not. i dunno how to describe how she sounds or how her tone was like, so mebbe u guys cant imagine.
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If she is the SIA ger, u sure damn happy liao rite?Originally posted by wee (aka danger):ha ha, no.
Heng it not Mr Sunflower! 
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heng it's not sunflower! but then, if it was to be sunflower, i dont give a damn loh. he's not my friend, i will juz send a ninja to assasinate him. ha ha ha...Originally posted by edLow:If she is the SIA ger, u sure damn happy liao rite?
Heng it not Mr Sunflower!
but if it's the SIA girl, i feel disappointed rather than happy. i treat her also as a friend, and she already has a bf liao.
any girl who has a boyfriend and yet show interest in another guy will definitely lose my respect for her. -
This comments is coolz.Originally posted by wee (aka danger):heng it's not sunflower! but then, if it was to be sunflower, i dont give a damn loh. he's not my friend, i will juz send a ninja to assasinate him. ha ha ha...
but if it's the SIA girl, i feel disappointed rather than happy. i treat her also as a friend, and she already has a bf liao.
any girl who has a boyfriend and yet show interest in another guy will definitely lose my respect for her.