'I hate you mum, I want the maid'
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Extracted from The Straits Times
By Krist Boo
BEN (not his real name) went berserk when his mother fired their maid a few months ago. Though only four, he began screaming at his mother, saying he hated her.
The reason was clear enough to his mother, who did not want to be named: She had got rid of his emotional blanket.
Like many children here, Ben was left primarily in the care of a maid shortly after his mother's maternity leave ended.
He is still dealing with the maid's departure and wraps himself in her T-shirt when he sleeps. He is not the only child struggling to come to grips with problems that arise when maids double as mums.
In interviews with The Straits Times, experts and parents warned that parents who leave maids with the lion's share of child-rearing may be creating an emotional void in their children.
While they busy themselves earning a living, their children pass their days talking to imaginary friends.
Unknown to them, some coax classmates who have mothers looking after them full-time to let them hang out in their homes, where they enjoy an adult's attention.
Some learn to lie.
Signs that over-dependence on maids could lead to problems are popping up elsewhere too.
A preliminary study of 445 case studies done at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) recently showed that 12.5 per cent of children taken care of by maids show behaviour such as defying their parents, playing truant and stealing. It is 10 per cent among those minded by their parents.
Even in pre-school, teachers are able to spot those who are cared for mostly by maids and those who are not.
ben, without your mum, there wont be a maid in the first place. looking at such incident.... would you still want to get yourself or your child a maid in future? -
very common leh...mi got 1 neighbour oso like dat 1 leh
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i am a gentleman
Check for your smiley here -
make sure the parent always haf a deeper bond with the child rather themaid doing tat.
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Who fault?
These days most families needs a maid, why? cos both parents needs to work in order to pay of the loans and the never ending bills.
Got and ex colleague quit her job to be full time mother. She said that it will be good for her child and will work only when her kid is older... I think this is not a bad idea and she can afford it cos her hubby is a doctor. -
my baby cousin seems to hate my maid like mad...
refuse to let her carry and feed him milk..... -
The world is changing everyday. Such things are bound to happen along the way.
It has to be dual income in order to support a family in Singapore. Unless the sole breadwinner has a very high revenue source can the other party afford to stay at home to take care of the kids. -
Originally posted by Qoo`~`:my baby cousin seems to hate my maid like mad...
refuse to let her carry and feed him milk..... Independant little dude. Nice. -
Seeing this article really quite sad, was discussing with my gf about having kids. Think it will be quite hard to work and pay attention to the needs of your kids, so the best thing is not to have. Then dont' have to watch your loved one suffer the pains of labor also..
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my mom quit her job last time just to take care of me when i was young/..... and i really apprecated her for that. felt close to her..... luckily dun have maid ah.,
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ya but the pains of labour will bring a bundle of joyOriginally posted by Ecxentrique:Seeing this article really quite sad, was discussing with my gf about having kids. Think it will be quite hard to work and pay attention to the needs of your kids, so the best thing is not to have. Then dont' have to watch your loved one suffer the pains of labor also..
if you wanna put it that way hehe -
dude, the kid's only 4 years old... can't expect him to understand the first statement! heh.Originally posted by www: ben, without your mum, there wont be a maid in the first place. looking at such incident.... would you still want to get yourself or your child a maid in future?
anyway I won't get a maid loh... Worst come to worst will leave with my parents to take care of the kid when we are working. But definitely not in the SOLE care of the maid... -
more severe cases to be anticipated from da 24 Hr Creches... if MCDS decides to approve it...
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hahhaa. didnt realise until you mention it. anyway, it still shows poor upbringing.Originally posted by Storm:dude, the kid's only 4 years old... can't expect him to understand the first statement! heh.
anyway I won't get a maid loh... Worst come to worst will leave with my parents to take care of the kid when we are working. But definitely not in the SOLE care of the maid...
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MCDS is too busy beckoning for babies these days...Originally posted by Stefanism:more severe cases to be anticipated from da 24 Hr Creches... if MCDS decides to approve it... -
if ur parents think this way last time, where will u be?Originally posted by Ecxentrique:Seeing this article really quite sad, was discussing with my gf about having kids. Think it will be quite hard to work and pay attention to the needs of your kids, so the best thing is not to have. Then dont' have to watch your loved one suffer the pains of labor also..
the point is that if everyone thinks this way, we no need osama to terrorise us, the world will end anyway cos no more babies. Bringing up kids is an investment, learning how to be parents are hands on cos no amount of books and observation can prepare u cos every child is different. Thus, doing your best and willing to be humble is the key, whether the kid turns out good and bad, who knows? -
i believe www will make a great dadOriginally posted by www:hahhaa. didnt realise until you mention it. anyway, it still shows poor upbringing. -
hahaha. and u as a great mum sibo?Originally posted by jeramy:i believe www will make a great dad
where have you been mia-ing? aiseh, didnt know you signed up for premium member as well. -
and you become a moderator liao sia. hahaha. i did not sign up for premier member lah. got it free courtesy of the survey thingy. hehehOriginally posted by www:hahaha. and u as a great mum sibo?
where have you been mia-ing? aiseh, didnt know you signed up for premium member as well. -
wah lau, the survey so long you go do ah?? yawnzzzz.......Originally posted by jeramy:and you become a moderator liao sia. hahaha. i did not sign up for premier member lah. got it free courtesy of the survey thingy. heheh -
hahhah got free thing mah. tan xiao pian yiOriginally posted by Estee:wah lau, the survey so long you go do ah?? yawnzzzz....... -
ben cant read yet www.
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hahaha. been a while liao.Originally posted by jeramy:and you become a moderator liao sia. hahaha. i did not sign up for premier member lah. got it free courtesy of the survey thingy. heheh
aiyo. i heard its freaking lengthy. you also sibei wu eng hor? -
Originally posted by bigdeal:ben cant read yet www.
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......Originally posted by veLvEtgEr:my mom quit her job last time just to take care of me when i was young/..... and i really apprecated her for that. felt close to her..... luckily dun have maid ah., -
maid isn't cheap but if u hv to work but couldn't tk care of ur child guess maid or childcare ctr will b e solution but normally ppl wld rather choose maid coz can help to do household chores..
but then even if u engage a maid to look after ur maid,i believe no matter hw busy u r, u still hv to fork out time 4 ur family esp time 4 ur children when they r in e growing phrase.. coz it v important coz wad u do will directly or indirectly affect n influence them...