Comprehending Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
"Where
did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well,=20
I
was
walking along yesterday minding my own business when a Beautiful=20
woman
rode
up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her
clothes
and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded=20
approvingly,
"Good choice; the clothes wouldn't have fit anyway."
Lesson: Don't bother to drop even the most obvious hint, they can't
catch
anyway.
(This is a reality! If you don't believe, test them!)
Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the=20
glass
half
empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to=20
be.
Lesson: There is no philosophy to talk abt but calculations and
calculations...
Comprehending Engineers -Take Three
A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's=20
with
these
guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed=20
in,
"I
don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude". The pastor said,
"Hey,
here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi=20
John.
Say,
what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't=20
they?"
The
greens keeper replied, "Oh! , yes, that's a group of blind=20
firefighters.
They
lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always
let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
Then the
pastor said, "That's so sad I think I will say a special prayer for
them
tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for=20
them."
The
engineer, after much thought said, "Why can't these guys play at
night?"
Lesson: No emotions please, only practicality works here.
Comprehending Engineers -Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets.
Lesson: They build and build and build and build and... to=20
compliment
one
another.
Comprehending Engineers -Take Five
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical=20
engineer.
Just
look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical
engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."=20
The
last
said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste
pipeline through a recreational area?"
Lesson: All of them have their own theories. None for believing!
! ;Comprehending Engineers -Take Six
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.=20
Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features=20
yet."
Lesson: They are complicated and twisted.
Comprehending Engineers -Take Seven
An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it=20
was
better to spend time with a wife or a mistress. The architect said=20
he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an=20
enduring
relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress,
because of
the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like
both."
"Both?" "Yeah," replied the engineer. "If you have a wife and a
mistress,
they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman,=20
and
you
can go to the lab and get some work done."
Lesson: Gals, NEVER fall for an engineer!!!
Comprehending Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to=20
him
and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He=20
bent
over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up=20
again
and
said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I
will
stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried=20
out,
"If you
kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess I'll st! ay with=20
you
and do
ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at=20
it
and
put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
matter?
I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for=20
a
week
and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer=20
said,
"Look
I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a TALKING
frog, now
that's cool!
Lesson: Once again, gals, NEVER fall for an engineer!!!!!
=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
Now we know why so many engineers are single. ahahaha...
Engineers,
please don't be offended, this is just a joke, we all know you are
great
people. 8-)
..... 
.....i soon to b engineer leh.....