Can U accept it???
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Is there anything in this world where you cant accept anything that happen to you? Do you have anything that happen to you that you simple tot that forgive and forget will solve everything??? Me???
I used to have someone who told me how much he cant do without me and in the end, he used to leave me for another gal coz he find too much faults in me... This guy even lied to me over something which he know i cant accept for a very long time... At first, i tot forgive and forget is something which everyone can do it as long as he/she have the determination to do it... But guess what??? I was wrong!!! Although this matter happened so long, I still cant do it... WHY??? 
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To forgive and forget doesnt mean coming out of a bad situation. It is to be able to forgive and forget despite of that situation. Forgiving is simply forgetting and giving another chance. Forgetting here doesnt mean literally "forgeting" but a choice to be able to look at the person and say "hey i remember wat u did to me, but i not gonna use it against u" giving the person another chance is not to give him another chance to hurt u, but its when u look at the person and say "I wun look at u with a tainted record."
Forgiving is ultimately beneficial to urself. Holding a hurrt and pain and grudge for TOO long is unhealthy.
A feather may be light. But if u hold it with ur arms raised for the next 1 hour, u will feel the strain sooner or later. -
Poor gal, but in order to forgive you have to forget. 1st forget about this guy, no point thinking back. Success only happen in the future if not now, but never will it be the past! Move on....Originally posted by kabelgir|:Is there anything in this world where you cant accept anything that happen to you? Do you have anything that happen to you that you simple tot that forgive and forget will solve everything??? Me??? I used to have someone who told me how much he cant do without me and in the end, he used to leave me for another gal coz he find too much faults in me... This guy even lied to me over something which he know i cant accept for a very long time... At first, i tot forgive and forget is something which everyone can do it as long as he/she have the determination to do it... But guess what??? I was wrong!!! Although this matter happened so long, I still cant do it... WHY??? 
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Some are easy to forgive,hard to forget...while some are just the opposite...easy to forget...once reminded again...hard to forgive..
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I reali like the way you express... Maybe you are rite... abt the theory of forgiving and forgetting... But I suppose i cant do it... or should i place it this way... this guy seems to be the one who should feel guilty that he can actuali say such things to me but im the one who cant face him... im juz afraid to face him that's all...Originally posted by gasband:To forgive and forget doesnt mean coming out of a bad situation. It is to be able to forgive and forget despite of that situation. Forgiving is simply forgetting and giving another chance. Forgetting here doesnt mean literally "forgeting" but a choice to be able to look at the person and say "hey i remember wat u did to me, but i not gonna use it against u" giving the person another chance is not to give him another chance to hurt u, but its when u look at the person and say "I wun look at u with a tainted record."
Forgiving is ultimately beneficial to urself. Holding a hurrt and pain and grudge for TOO long is unhealthy.
A feather may be light. But if u hold it with ur arms raised for the next 1 hour, u will feel the strain sooner or later. -
so, is there any way that things well not be reminded over and over again...??? it's kinda painful eh...Originally posted by SuRfBoY:Some are easy to forgive,hard to forget...while some are just the opposite...easy to forget...once reminded again...hard to forgive.. -
thanks... im trying to move one now... everyday hoping to fill my day withOriginally posted by Capricorn:Poor gal, but in order to forgive you have to forget. 1st forget about this guy, no point thinking back. Success only happen in the future if not now, but never will it be the past! Move on.... but it's hard... there's reali some times when i will think why he treat me this way and eventually, i can reali feel my heart ache... -
Can't fault yourself for doing so. At times when we really put in our heart and soul into something, we will definitely have lasting memories (scars?) of it.Originally posted by kabelgir|:Is there anything in this world where you cant accept anything that happen to you? Do you have anything that happen to you that you simple tot that forgive and forget will solve everything??? Me??? I used to have someone who told me how much he cant do without me and in the end, he used to leave me for another gal coz he find too much faults in me... This guy even lied to me over something which he know i cant accept for a very long time... At first, i tot forgive and forget is something which everyone can do it as long as he/she have the determination to do it... But guess what??? I was wrong!!! Although this matter happened so long, I still cant do it... WHY???
Just let it be. Focus on other things in life. -
Go meet someone new
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lemme answer this in a different point of view from what others had reply.Originally posted by kabelgir|:Is there anything in this world where you cant accept anything that happen to you? Do you have anything that happen to you that you simple tot that forgive and forget will solve everything??? Me??? I used to have someone who told me how much he cant do without me and in the end, he used to leave me for another gal coz he find too much faults in me... This guy even lied to me over something which he know i cant accept for a very long time... At first, i tot forgive and forget is something which everyone can do it as long as he/she have the determination to do it... But guess what??? I was wrong!!! Although this matter happened so long, I still cant do it... WHY???
many eons back, in my very early 20s, i used to be that kinda guy as well, when in courtship or in love, i'd tell her how much i love her, how much i can't do without her.
yes, it was true, but i felt so not emotionally. i felt so because i wanted to satisfy my sexual urges, i want a "warm body", a beautiful female, but the funny thing is: i DIDN'T know that when i said all these to her. i THOUGHT it was really from my heart.
i was very passionate, getting ourselves to intimacy, to heavy petting, to sex. i asked for sex for an average of 3 to 4 time a week.
then, i grew tired, not physically, but juz tired of having the same "warm body" over and over again. i couldn't understand why i felt so, i thought i love her, i thought i can't do without her. then i realised that i can't do without her not because of love.
i felt guilty. guilty because my feelings for her was not genuine. but i did something worse. i didn't wanna admit that to her. instead, i purposely pick her faults and used them to break-up wif her.
i succeeded, but felt even more guilty. it's as good as that she had been cheated by me, she had been used by me. i can't believe i could do this sort of thing to someone else. i'm a jerk!
when i finally decided to give her a call to ask for forgiveness, it was already almost 1 year after i dumped her. but unfortunately, i can't reach her. heard from her friend that she has already left for australia to further her studies. until now, after 6 years, i still don't know where she is.
i hope she's happy now. i hope she has forget me already. i hope she has found someone who is much better than me, someone who truly love her.
not a jerk like me again.
as for ur case, it is very likely that he had used u like i did to her too. finding faults is only one of the common excuse to dump someone. he's not worth for u to remember him.
and also, i'm not worth for her to remember me either. neither is to forgive.
why u can't forget him is because it takes time. no need to try very hard to forget a person. the harder u try, the more difficult it is for u to forget him.
trust me, no need to try at all. u will forget him soon before u realised it. and when u realise it, u will look back at laugh at yourself. -
Wah... She's only around 3 months behind your joining date and she've got less than 100 post...?Originally posted by xavier1979:Can't fault yourself for doing so. At times when we really put in our heart and soul into something, we will definitely have lasting memories (scars?) of it.
Just let it be. Focus on other things in life. -
im already trying to focus on other things... work, play but stil it;s kinda hard eh...Originally posted by xavier1979:Can't fault yourself for doing so. At times when we really put in our heart and soul into something, we will definitely have lasting memories (scars?) of it.
Just let it be. Focus on other things in life. -
arent you saying a little too easy... and if i can afford to forget that person, i will definately find someone new... but even if i reali find others, it will be unfair for them too. afterall, it's like they are my spare tire...Originally posted by Forever84:Go meet someone new -
i reali like you ur piece... it's kinda touching eh...Originally posted by wee (aka danger):lemme answer this in a different point of view from what others had reply.
many eons back, in my very early 20s, i used to be that kinda guy as well, when in courtship or in love, i'd tell her how much i love her, how much i can't do without her.
yes, it was true, but i felt so not emotionally. i felt so because i wanted to satisfy my sexual urges, i want a "warm body", a beautiful female, but the funny thing is: i DIDN'T know that when i said all these to her. i THOUGHT it was really from my heart.
i was very passionate, getting ourselves to intimacy, to heavy petting, to sex. i asked for sex for an average of 3 to 4 time a week.
then, i grew tired, not physically, but juz tired of having the same "warm body" over and over again. i couldn't understand why i felt so, i thought i love her, i thought i can't do without her. then i realised that i can't do without her not because of love.
i felt guilty. guilty because my feelings for her was not genuine. but i did something worse. i didn't wanna admit that to her. instead, i purposely pick her faults and used them to break-up wif her.
i succeeded, but felt even more guilty. it's as good as that she had been cheated by me, she had been used by me. i can't believe i could do this sort of thing to someone else. i'm a jerk!
when i finally decided to give her a call to ask for forgiveness, it was already almost 1 year after i dumped her. but unfortunately, i can't reach her. heard from her friend that she has already left for australia to further her studies. until now, after 6 years, i still don't know where she is.
i hope she's happy now. i hope she has forget me already. i hope she has found someone who is much better than me, someone who truly love her.
not a jerk like me again.
as for ur case, it is very likely that he had used u like i did to her too. finding faults is only one of the common excuse to dump someone. he's not worth for u to remember him.
and also, i'm not worth for her to remember me either. neither is to forgive.
why u can't forget him is because it takes time. no need to try very hard to forget a person. the harder u try, the more difficult it is for u to forget him.
trust me, no need to try at all. u will forget him soon before u realised it. and when u realise it, u will look back at laugh at yourself.
sorry to hook to your sad memories coz of my question... but at least you hope that she will be happy... i wonder if he hope i will be happy too... or juz miserable like i am now... 
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Kind of like ur way of expression oso... I think to do till the stage of really forgiving and forgeting is not so simple... Cos afterall, we are the ones getting hurt instead of others... To forgive a person who has hurt u may not be so easy.. much less to say forget..Originally posted by kabelgir|:Is there anything in this world where you cant accept anything that happen to you? Do you have anything that happen to you that you simple tot that forgive and forget will solve everything??? Me??? I used to have someone who told me how much he cant do without me and in the end, he used to leave me for another gal coz he find too much faults in me... This guy even lied to me over something which he know i cant accept for a very long time... At first, i tot forgive and forget is something which everyone can do it as long as he/she have the determination to do it... But guess what??? I was wrong!!! Although this matter happened so long, I still cant do it... WHY???
I used to haf a best fren in my sec sch days... I became best frens with him becos i felt his character and hobbies are quite close to mine and i tot he understands me well... but turned out that he took away the ger i love so much then....
I felt betrayed... Its a simple case of best fren taking away the one u love but the consequences are not so simple.. So in my case, i tried my best to forgive him becos of the ger i love... When we left sec sch, i tried to forget him... but seems hard to do so.. cos here i am toking abt him... To forgive and forget now is meaning less to me as i haf suffered the consequences... nobody but me myself has to bear it all...
forgive and forget doesnt solve everything. i think it only makes the person feel better... less guilty... But whos going to comfort the person doing the forgive and forget?
Guess the most impt thing is to be happy.... -
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Originally posted by Wes Brown:
who is this? -
Once there used to be an 70yrs old ah ma who always told me this (my next door old ex-neighbour).Hiaz now probably selling salty egg in somewhere.
"young man life in sg whether work or r/s is like buying 4D or TOTO.give yrslf the chance n hope.if even u don't strike or win , at least u have try it.And shall not live without any regret."
Until now then i rememeber what she have told me,haiz me stupid ......(bcos me not interested in buying 4 or toto.)
but the moral of it :is life is agamble itself.You don't know what is the outcome until u have try it.......
really really regret mr_cool -
there will be always a second chance grad it or lose it.In school we learn this phrase "failure is the path to success."Originally posted by mr_cool:Once there used to be an 70yrs old ah ma who always told me this (my next door old ex-neighbour).Hiaz now probably selling salty egg in somewhere.
"young man life in sg whether work or r/s is like buying 4D or TOTO.give yrslf the chance n hope.if even u don't strike or win , at least u have try it.And shall not live without any regret."
Until now then i rememeber what she have told me,haiz me stupid ......(bcos me not interested in buying 4 or toto.)
but the moral of it :is life is agamble itself.You don't know what is the outcome until u have try it.......
really really regret mr_cool -
forgive, i can..
forget? NEVER... -
take it as an learning .but sometimes is good to forget.as it bite on and build the fear inside youOriginally posted by audlenelee:forgive, i can..
forget? NEVER... -
alamak, that's not my point. i'm trying to tell u that ur guy could be a jerk like me, not worth thinking abt him. that will help u forget him sooner.Originally posted by kabelgir|:i reali like you ur piece... it's kinda touching eh... sorry to hook to your sad memories coz of my question... but at least you hope that she will be happy... i wonder if he hope i will be happy too... or juz miserable like i am now...
how could u forget him when u still wonder how he is, wonder if he hope u will be happy too or miserable?