misunderstanding
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i believe i have caused a female friend to misunderstand my friendly concern for her for courtship advances. May i know how to allay her fears. Really hope to hear all your advice le.
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tell her that your parents meant no harm to her and your parents are just being concerned..
maybe you might want to tell us what more about the situation. -
Fears?
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i have showed absolutely nothing beyond platonic friendship concern. but she is treating me in a way that is vastly different from all other friends (guys and gals in even proportions) among us. she always looks downwards talking to me. her replies to my questions are always far shorter than those to her other friends. she teases and makes fun of every single friend in our group except me. she is generally easily amused but her smile and laughter towards my jokes are more one of courtesey and extremely tensed. whenever she tries to smile at me, i can so clearly see that she is making such a great effort as though her mouth may be smiling, the rest of her entire face is all tensed up and her eyes turn moist just like a cornered doe. i really hope that she can relax in my presense. should i address this issue to her and tell her that i am not expecting anything of her? on the other hand, would she wonder why i would be sensitive to such things if i had no other interest in her? on my part, i have never even once smiled at her and try to avoid eye contact whenever possible, in her consideration. i have no clue what went wrong.
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i have never 'suan' her but would really like to. merely for the purpose of provoking her to suan me back. what are the best things to 'suan1' a girl about but without making her feel uncomfortable? also to reassure her that i will not be emotionally affected by her suaning and also that i do not fear offending her to the extent that i treat her with excessive respect. how do girls perceive a guys smile? is there a way to maintain eye contact without staring? i have a problem maintaining eye contact for long durations le.
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yo! stick to one thread.. easier for pple to keep track. think aunt agony would be the right place.
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hee....i tot if u like some1 will automatically suan tt person..esp in public?hee....Originally posted by gogogogo:
Never suan a girl whom you like in public, before her or in her presence. If you like a girl, suan her only when you are alone so that she can suan you back, this can be fun. As for me, i only suan a girl when i find her not to my liking. No hiding my true feelings.
As for your case, the solution is very simple. Do you like this girl, or do you even want to give yourself a chance to get to know her? If any of the above answer is 'yes', then you should go ahead with it, but be ready to face rejection if it should happen. If you really have no feelings of any kind for her, then there is no need for you to do anything. Just get on with your life and accept her actions for what they are. But from your words, i guess you must have some feelings for her, else you would not even bother to bring out this incident.
Good luck.
yah i guess if u dun hv any feelings at all 2wards her..then juz 4get it..she'll realize tat shez had e wrong idea bt u in time...
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if i like i won't tok to her...Originally posted by fish&chipz:hee....i tot if u like some1 will automatically suan tt person..esp in public?hee....
yah i guess if u dun hv any feelings at all 2wards her..then juz 4get it..she'll realize tat shez had e wrong idea bt u in time...
no wait... that's wrong, i dun talk to alot of ppl...
hmmmmm let me think... if i like...
den i'll avoid her...
no wait... that's wrong too...
lemme go think -
ha ha! guess what?
i had that experience before. i once know a girl who behaved juz like this, always very tensed when she's talking to me, shorter speeches than when speaking to other friends in the group, evading looking at me in my eyes, always look down.
but i never show any extra concern for her at all, not even platonic concern like u did.
and when i noticed that, i stop talking to her when we were out in a group, completely dont talk to her.
then one day she called me on the phone, i can recognise her caller id, but she never talk. i hello hello still no reply. then she hanged up. i still dunno what's wrong, but i dont give a damn. i remembered i continued playing my playstation and didnt bother to find out why. then abt 2 hrs later (i was still playing), one of our common friend called. he told me that the girl called him and cried on the phone. i still blur, asked him what happened.
and he said that she actually had a crush on me. i went "huh?". never expect this at all... so that explained why she behaved so tense towards me. -
So what is the outcome?Originally posted by weeeeeee.....:ha ha! guess what?
i had that experience before. i once know a girl who behaved juz like this, always very tensed when she's talking to me, shorter speeches than when speaking to other friends in the group, evading looking at me in my eyes, always look down.
but i never show any extra concern for her at all, not even platonic concern like u did.
and when i noticed that, i stop talking to her when we were out in a group, completely dont talk to her.
then one day she called me on the phone, i can recognise her caller id, but she never talk. i hello hello still no reply. then she hanged up. i still dunno what's wrong, but i dont give a damn. i remembered i continued playing my playstation and didnt bother to find out why. then abt 2 hrs later (i was still playing), one of our common friend called. he told me that the girl called him and cried on the phone. i still blur, asked him what happened.
and he said that she actually had a crush on me. i went "huh?". never expect this at all... so that explained why she behaved so tense towards me. -
i told her that i'm not interested in having a relationship right yet. it's not her lah, it's juz that i'm not ready. that's all. nothing against her. no further development between us.Originally posted by xavier1979:So what is the outcome? -
aiyoh... this happened abt more 6 yrs back liao, when i was still serving ns... dont even know where she is nowOriginally posted by gogogogo:
ay?
why you all got this type of experience i not hav 1?
the ger nice or not, really care 4 u or not?
if so, giv it a try lar, cannot be lovers can be beri beri good friend why?
call her now lar ah weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, go for it....
gogogogo 
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Probably u would like to have a good talk with her?Originally posted by boy in blues:i have showed absolutely nothing beyond platonic friendship concern. but she is treating me in a way that is vastly different from all other friends (guys and gals in even proportions) among us. she always looks downwards talking to me. her replies to my questions are always far shorter than those to her other friends. she teases and makes fun of every single friend in our group except me. she is generally easily amused but her smile and laughter towards my jokes are more one of courtesey and extremely tensed. whenever she tries to smile at me, i can so clearly see that she is making such a great effort as though her mouth may be smiling, the rest of her entire face is all tensed up and her eyes turn moist just like a cornered doe. i really hope that she can relax in my presense. should i address this issue to her and tell her that i am not expecting anything of her? on the other hand, would she wonder why i would be sensitive to such things if i had no other interest in her? on my part, i have never even once smiled at her and try to avoid eye contact whenever possible, in her consideration. i have no clue what went wrong.
Would it be better?