wat shld I do ......
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this ger I know her bf was not treating her well .... seldom spend time wif her .... she wanna watch movie he say waste $$$ ... he can't gv assurance to her abt their future .... me and this ger get along very well and she prefer her bf to spend times wif her but the bf juz can't do it ... so me and her always together and slowly we start to hv feeling for each other and wat her bf can't gv her all I can .... she wanted to get married but the bf keep saying must earn enuff $$$ and ask her to wait till 2006 .... and they r not in good terms cos they can't really communicate as for me I can communocate wif her very well ..... and I asked her ... now oredi cannot communicate in future married liao how ? .... I told her since we r happy when we together and both like each other y not consider me ? she said she's confuse now ..... she hate him but still got a bit of feeling for him cos when she was hving problems he help her ...... she said I'm wat exactly the kind of man she wanted to be wif ..... and she told me she will consider .... but keep asking me wat if she choose him and not me ..... she oso said she dunno to break my heart ..... I'm lost now ... wat shld I do ????
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hmmmm...........
well, i think she is unwilling to let go of her bf cos she's been with him for some time n it's jus an unwillingness....
u can either give her some more time....
or jus continue supporting her but at the same time open up ur options? -
i can only say she's a loyal gf..kinda hard to find this kinda gal these days right?...
since u like her so much, u just have to wait n be supportive lor... -
follow ur heart
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watever the decision she makes, to leave or not to leave, u have to accept it cos on the surface u r d 3rd party...in the event she decides to be wif u, make sure she had made a clean break from her boyfren before both of u declared to be a couple...if not... u know wat will happen...good luckOriginally posted by maxyeo:this ger I know her bf was not treating her well .... seldom spend time wif her .... she wanna watch movie he say waste $$$ ... he can't gv assurance to her abt their future .... me and this ger get along very well and she prefer her bf to spend times wif her but the bf juz can't do it ... so me and her always together and slowly we start to hv feeling for each other and wat her bf can't gv her all I can .... she wanted to get married but the bf keep saying must earn enuff $$$ and ask her to wait till 2006 .... and they r not in good terms cos they can't really communicate as for me I can communocate wif her very well ..... and I asked her ... now oredi cannot communicate in future married liao how ? .... I told her since we r happy when we together and both like each other y not consider me ? she said she's confuse now ..... she hate him but still got a bit of feeling for him cos when she was hving problems he help her ...... she said I'm wat exactly the kind of man she wanted to be wif ..... and she told me she will consider .... but keep asking me wat if she choose him and not me ..... she oso said she dunno to break my heart ..... I'm lost now ... wat shld I do ????
Looks [color=yellow]can be deceiving[/color]
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aiyoh like that...
i think patience is the right thing to do. TECHNICALLY, you shouldn't be the reason why she breaks off (if she eventually does) with this "bad" bf of hers. but of course life isn't that simple, no matter wat, u'll be involved.
i guess i'll urge you both to try to work things out seperately. your reln with her and her reln with her bf are two seperate issues (in theory). she has problems with her bf, let her solve them TRYING not to put u in the picture. in other words, she should be trying not to compare the two of u, if her bf is bad then he's bad, NOT that he's worse than u. see wat i'm getting at?
on ur part, well, as a friend u can support her, but the thin line is hard to discern. you obviously do want to take care of her and love her, yet for now u can't influence her in such a way that causes her to leave her bf to come to u. hence, no "i'm a better guy why not gimme a chance" statements from u is wat i recommend.
in such situations, and many others in life, we sometimes have to really pull ourselves away from acting upon emotions. self-control and logical thinking seems to take a back seat when passion and infatuation set in. try not to fall into this trap.
take care~~
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In this kind of scenario, the girl is simply waiting for an EXCUSE to break up with her present bf.
Yet, she may also be evaluating the reasons why they were attached together in the first place. And to find out if there is a way to justify those reasons in the present situation.
Her feelings may be likened a rock on a hilltop -- a push will cause it to roll down on either side. -
was in such a situation b4... as well as my fren...
tink ur chances r low esp if the ger n her bf have been together for quite long (say a few yrs)...
tink basically she turned to u cos her bf is unable to provide the companionship/attention she needs.. n having gotten along so well wif u, she prob felt bad if she has to let u down therefore test the water by asking u hw wld u feel if she chooses her bf...
even if she managed to break up wif her bf... tink they'll patch up as soon as the guy ask for her forgiveness... since she seems to like him still...
though ideally, it wld be good if she is able to evaluate her r/s wif u n her bf separately, in reality, it is v difficult...
n try not to pressure her too much... at least then u'll still be able to preserve the frenship... -
actually she get to know him few months earlier only .......Originally posted by ^PerKy^:hmmmm...........
well, i think she is unwilling to let go of her bf cos she's been with him for some time n it's jus an unwillingness....
u can either give her some more time....
or jus continue supporting her but at the same time open up ur options? -
yes she's a loyal person ........ I'm still waiting and supporting her ....Originally posted by Inzaghi:i can only say she's a loyal gf..kinda hard to find this kinda gal these days right?...
since u like her so much, u just have to wait n be supportive lor... -
she know him few months earlier den me only .... and she did tok to the bf ... he juz bo chap .... actually they did break twice but very fast patched back ... she said she only be wif me if only she's not attached ....... today she told me her feeling for him is stronger ..... sigh .....Originally posted by piopoz:was in such a situation b4... as well as my fren...
tink ur chances r low esp if the ger n her bf have been together for quite long (say a few yrs)...
tink basically she turned to u cos her bf is unable to provide the companionship/attention she needs.. n having gotten along so well wif u, she prob felt bad if she has to let u down therefore test the water by asking u hw wld u feel if she chooses her bf...
even if she managed to break up wif her bf... tink they'll patch up as soon as the guy ask for her forgiveness... since she seems to like him still...
though ideally, it wld be good if she is able to evaluate her r/s wif u n her bf separately, in reality, it is v difficult...
n try not to pressure her too much... at least then u'll still be able to preserve the frenship... -
There must be something that lacks in both of u of each other. U might be more caring while her bf is more bo chup but there's definitely something in him that makes her love him more. Maybe its being together for sometime liao..got e feelings..or something that he do that really touch her. U just have to let her make her own decision.
I have a friend with similar situation.. her bf sucks big time.. chase girl behind her back.. always hang around with his gangster friends... break her heart so many times. She cried before me saying she wanna end this but say she don't have e heart to do it.. say he will change...( e guy always smooth talk her back when she wanna break ).
I guess her feelings for him is stronger than u but theres something u have that lacks in him. If u are patient then u wait if not i suggest u forget about her cause this might drag on for some time. She might have some feelings for u but i guess she will only find u when she need that kinda care n love from u.
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Originally posted by GIJOE:There must be something that lacks in both of u of each other. U might be more caring while her bf is more bo chup but there's definitely something in him that makes her love him more. Maybe its being together for sometime liao..got e feelings..or something that he do that really touch her. U just have to let her make her own decision.
I have a friend with similar situation.. her bf sucks big time.. chase girl behind her back.. always hang around with his gangster friends... break her heart so many times. She cried before me saying she wanna end this but say she don't have e heart to do it.. say he will change...( e guy always smooth talk her back when she wanna break ).
I guess her feelings for him is stronger than u but theres something u have that lacks in him. If u are patient then u wait if not i suggest u forget about her cause this might drag on for some time. She might have some feelings for u but i guess she will only find u when she need that kinda care n love from u. 
Love is blind......sometimes.