lost...
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Agreed... Think confronting maybe the best solution right... Clear the air before its too late...Originally posted by ^mm^:actually d best solution iz communication...
if u really hv communicate wif him...u wldn't hv so much doubts...
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Dear starbaby,
I assume that the guy is your bf. Well, the crux of the story is you have invaded his privacy. One pet peeve of some guys is when his gf/spouse tries to invade his privacy either by looking at his emails, sms or diary etc.
Either way you go, you aren't going to lose him. But what do you want? What do you really want? You to be with him or him to discover himself? And who says you cant have both? You guys can still be together and you can help him to find himself. You two will get a lot closer that way too. You'll be building trust and communication skills which is great.
But also you have to find out what he wants. Does he want to be with you? Does he want to find himself? It's hard. So you two are just going to have to have a talk about your relationship together.
Think about it together!. It might be one of the toughest things for you to do but letting him go shows how much you really care for him. See but you dont have to unless he wants to and thinks he should. Your boyfriend is one lucky guy for having such a caring girlfriend. You're amazing. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you support him because that's what friends are for. I'm a hopeless romantic so I truly hope you two will last forever.
I know that you're hurting right now and that the man you think you are in love with is probably someone who doesn't love you in the same way. It's going to be hard but you just have to tell yourself to be strong.
Cheers -
thanx everyone
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welcome baby... whatever problesm you have, you can either pm me or post it out here.. i am always here to help you damsels in distressOriginally posted by *~*~*~*St@r^b4bY*~*~*~*:thanx everyone -
i have e same experience too.... some tings u cant communicate plainly by jus asking straight to his face... he will get pissed off n turn back to scold u y u look at his tings. my bf willl jus shake it off by saying "u dun be nonsense lah" or "i said noting on between us liao,u still wanna ask den dats ur problem"
how long have u two been together? ...hmmmmm mebbi u can start by asking him whether from last time till now...he got lie to u a not. den u slowly ask other BGR tings from his past all dis...den tok in a VERI VERI nice manner asking him dat time y u tok to e ger so intimitaely(sorry dunno how to spell) ?? den sae in a veri VERI nice manner jus tell him "u noe i quite bothered abt dis....i so sad u tok to her lidat... can tell mi y? at least i noe rite?"
hmm....i use dis method everitime n it works...haha jus my opinion..mebbi u can try. -
Anytime...Originally posted by *~*~*~*St@r^b4bY*~*~*~*:thanx everyone -
than...i need more advice and suggestion....cos....i really need to learn....we've been together few mths nia...but my mom oready see him as my hubby liaoz...Originally posted by FrozenPig:i have e same experience too.... some tings u cant communicate plainly by jus asking straight to his face... he will get pissed off n turn back to scold u y u look at his tings. my bf willl jus shake it off by saying "u dun be nonsense lah" or "i said noting on between us liao,u still wanna ask den dats ur problem"
how long have u two been together? ...hmmmmm mebbi u can start by asking him whether from last time till now...he got lie to u a not. den u slowly ask other BGR tings from his past all dis...den tok in a VERI VERI nice manner asking him dat time y u tok to e ger so intimitaely(sorry dunno how to spell) ?? den sae in a veri VERI nice manner jus tell him "u noe i quite bothered abt dis....i so sad u tok to her lidat... can tell mi y? at least i noe rite?"
hmm....i use dis method everitime n it works...haha jus my opinion..mebbi u can try.
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Please...go and box him
actually i think you should confront him abt it
it maybe a sign that hes not taking your relationship seriously by looking at other avenues of possible relationships -
hmm for mi i will........"sa jiao " a bit..heez before getting straight to the point lor.......but most impt ting is u mus tell him dat u dowan a quarrel...u mus tell him "i jus curious wat is ur relationship wif e ger, i not want to quarrel wif u..realli. i ur gf..i c u tok to gers like dis i oso sad..can tell mi?" n u mus tok to him in a veri VERI nice n gentle n cute( if u can act it out but too much hahaha) n innocent. another ting is u hab to make clear dat ur sad bcoz of his action.BCOZ OF HIM. den if he turn back n ask u y u invade my privacy, u can try shrugging it off " dat time the icq window pop up itself mah..den i ur gf i cannot c meh?" but dis only works if its ur first time doing dis type of ting.. if he notice it a lot of times liao den he wun let u off so easily le.Originally posted by *~*~*~*St@r^b4bY*~*~*~*:than...i need more advice and suggestion....cos....i really need to learn....we've been together few mths nia...but my mom oready see him as my hubby liaoz... '!|
for mi...whenever e situation turns out hot i will always sae " if todae its mi hu did dis kinda ting, wat will u tink? wat will u feel? dun tell mi ur not upset at all?!" den ask him tink himself.
hm,.ok....its my opinions oni.... good luck!! -
bravo...*clap*clap*Originally posted by FrozenPig:hmm for mi i will........"sa jiao " a bit..heez before getting straight to the point lor.......but most impt ting is u mus tell him dat u dowan a quarrel...u mus tell him "i jus curious wat is ur relationship wif e ger, i not want to quarrel wif u..realli. i ur gf..i c u tok to gers like dis i oso sad..can tell mi?" n u mus tok to him in a veri VERI nice n gentle n cute( if u can act it out but too much hahaha) n innocent. another ting is u hab to make clear dat ur sad bcoz of his action.BCOZ OF HIM. den if he turn back n ask u y u invade my privacy, u can try shrugging it off " dat time the icq window pop up itself mah..den i ur gf i cannot c meh?" but dis only works if its ur first time doing dis type of ting.. if he notice it a lot of times liao den he wun let u off so easily le.
for mi...whenever e situation turns out hot i will always sae " if todae its mi hu did dis kinda ting, wat will u tink? wat will u feel? dun tell mi ur not upset at all?!" den ask him tink himself.
hm,.ok....its my opinions oni.... good luck!! -
Originally posted by SuRfBoY:bravo...*clap*clap*
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short pain better then later bad or worst pain
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its not easy to accept deceit, lies and betrayal. What i felt was your BF does not love u as much as u love him... although what u do for someone u love, u dont expect to get anything in return but i believe commitment is one key to successful relationships. If there is a reason to why he kept it a secret, hear it..let him explain. As u understand him, u should be able to feel whether he's telling e truth. If he is not and obviously trying to get past it, its not worth it for this relationship.
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thanx...Originally posted by GIJOE:its not easy to accept deceit, lies and betrayal. What i felt was your BF does not love u as much as u love him... although what u do for someone u love, u dont expect to get anything in return but i believe commitment is one key to successful relationships. If there is a reason to why he kept it a secret, hear it..let him explain. As u understand him, u should be able to feel whether he's telling e truth. If he is not and obviously trying to get past it, its not worth it for this relationship.
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hmm...thanx everyone...but out of guilt...i told him the whole truth instead....he din blame me...he wasnt mad at me or wad...he just hugged me and said...i love you baby...
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Originally posted by *~*~*~*St@r^b4bY*~*~*~*:hmm...thanx everyone...but out of guilt...i told him the whole truth instead....he din blame me...he wasnt mad at me or wad...he just hugged me and said...i love you baby...
*clap*clap*
brave~
i guess i wun have such bravery -
That is so touching. I hope things will only get better for you and your stead now.Originally posted by *~*~*~*St@r^b4bY*~*~*~*:hmm...thanx everyone...but out of guilt...i told him the whole truth instead....he din blame me...he wasnt mad at me or wad...he just hugged me and said...i love you baby... -
exactly...even dat sentence only....me oso read until cry...really touching......Originally posted by xavier1979:That is so touching. I hope things will only get better for you and your stead now. -
hahaha...he's not a bad guy after allOriginally posted by *~*~*~*St@r^b4bY*~*~*~*:hmm...thanx everyone...but out of guilt...i told him the whole truth instead....he din blame me...he wasnt mad at me or wad...he just hugged me and said...i love you baby... 
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but hor...the moment he hugged me hor...i was wondering how come he wasnt angry at all lor...normally...guys wld shout here and dere...den couples will quarrel and end up...guy brk wif ger....Originally posted by FrozenPig:hahaha...he's not a bad guy after all
i was expecting dat to happen liaoz....but it all din happen...THANK GOD!!!
but hor...me and him...oways abit abit quarrel de lei...like dey said...3 days 1 big quarrel 2 days 1 small quarrel...
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i tink dats normal ba.......mi n my bf oso lidat...Originally posted by *~*~*~*St@r^b4bY*~*~*~*:but hor...the moment he hugged me hor...i was wondering how come he wasnt angry at all lor...normally...guys wld shout here and dere...den couples will quarrel and end up...guy brk wif ger....
i was expecting dat to happen liaoz....but it all din happen...THANK GOD!!!
but hor...me and him...oways abit abit quarrel de lei...like dey said...3 days 1 big quarrel 2 days 1 small quarrel... -
Originally posted by *~*~*~*St@r^b4bY*~*~*~*:hmm...dunnoe how to say lei...but i wld think dat im at fault oso lor...
recently got to knew this guy...thru my frens...he's...a great guy...but as we knew each other longer...i found out dat he's actually hiding alot from me...some times...gers wld stick to him like bee to honey for no reason....initially...i din suspect anything...until...1 day..when 1 of his girl-frens ICQ him and i accidently saw wad they were toking abt...they were so intimate...and he told me dat they were ntng and dat this ger had recently brk off wif her bf...so he is just comforting her...so i believed him....until 1 day i clicked on his ICQ when he was sleeping...and saw the msg history...and dat ger asked him if his got gf or not...my bf said no gf..i was like...
den i began to get abit angry...so i looked thru all this ICQ msg history...and the more i look at them...the more sad i am...i mean...i noe its my fault...i shldnt have probed into his ICQ...but...im really...lost and very sad now... Don't think too much most of the guys are like that,well dump him if you found that he is getting worst. -
This type of guy should be dump,he is an asshole.From what you wrote....i can see that both of you will breakup oneday so better end it fast then regreting later.Originally posted by *~*~*~*St@r^b4bY*~*~*~*:i did lor...but he will say they r ntng lor...just frens...den when i saw 1 of his msg was abt him having an ONS wif one of the gers...to me...the ger likes him...but he just wanna have some fun...but the date iand time i saw was only recently one...i mean...how cld they have.... aiyo~~~i dunnoe~~i very lost now...
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Well you are right he is thinking of that and i am sureOriginally posted by cHeR|sH^LoVe:if i were u ... i will feel disappointed ... cheated...
he's not a gd guy.. afterall.. a flirt..
he's not worth it.. to the extent of having ONS when was with u..
u can sure find better guys.. he just wanna have some fun.. that could apply to u too
becarefull.. he may be cheating u...
sorry .. i was maybe too harsh.. but these are just my opinions.. dun take it to hard.. it may help.. it may not.. depends if u agree with me..
but anyway.. hope u dun feel so lost anymore..
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i got tis past experience too... but mine is like when i was at my x hse dat time we together lar.. den after me wana play comp den got icq msg come in n pop out he was bside me den he cannot hide den i saw a ger called him dear... tamade...Originally posted by *~*~*~*St@r^b4bY*~*~*~*:hmm...dunnoe how to say lei...but i wld think dat im at fault oso lor...
recently got to knew this guy...thru my frens...he's...a great guy...but as we knew each other longer...i found out dat he's actually hiding alot from me...some times...gers wld stick to him like bee to honey for no reason....initially...i din suspect anything...until...1 day..when 1 of his girl-frens ICQ him and i accidently saw wad they were toking abt...they were so intimate...and he told me dat they were ntng and dat this ger had recently brk off wif her bf...so he is just comforting her...so i believed him....until 1 day i clicked on his ICQ when he was sleeping...and saw the msg history...and dat ger asked him if his got gf or not...my bf said no gf..i was like...
den i began to get abit angry...so i looked thru all this ICQ msg history...and the more i look at them...the more sad i am...i mean...i noe its my fault...i shldnt have probed into his ICQ...but...im really...lost and very sad now...
y guys r tamade jerks?