by Cockanaden
The Ministry of Governmental Salaries Oversight Committee announced today that in light of the poor performance of the global economy, the salaries of ministers will be raised. It is hoped that this drastic measure will encourage our government leaders to work harder and help Singapore regain its competitive edge quickly.
"Now that the economy is doing poorly, Ministers and top civil servants will have to work harder and longer hours. It only makes sense that their efforts do not go unrewarded," said Mr Foo Lo Chit, chairman of the Oversight Committee. "Obviously they're not getting paid enough now, which is why our economy has gone into a technical recession. We must take immediate action to correct this injustice."
Although details of the new pay package is confidential, Mr Foo hinted that in light of Singapore's recent National Day celebrations, some Ministers might get up to a symbolic 36% pay increment. Mr Foo declined to give more details, explaining: "How would you like it if I announced your salary to everyone in Singapore?"
Public reactions to this move have been overwhelmingly positive. A poll of three people around the office revealed that 66% of respondents feel that this initiative could only bring success to Singapore.
"It's always worked before, what," commented Mdm See Cher Suo, 'Director' of Janitorial Services, "Every time the economy is okay, it?s because the gahmen is getting paid a lot. Now times are bad, naturally should pay them more!"
Responses from government leaders have been more mixed. While most welcomed the move, some felt that these new measures have not gone far enough.
"I've just bought two new Mercs and shares in a pillowcase factory in Suzhou," complained a leader who wishes to remain anonymous, "Surely the taxpayers have a moral obligation to incentivize me to boost the economy by subsidizing my expenses!"
Others were more philosophical. "Times are very rough now, and we all must do what we have to in order to survive. So I guess I have no choice but to accept the pay raise."
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