Did i go too fast?
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Just need your opinion....
I just know a gal one month ago. My coy n hers have some biz dealings and 1st time i met her n i find her quite friendly n nice. So after exchanging name cards, i got hold of her mobile no and decide to make my move. I sent her good nite smses n asking how was her work n so on...She did replied most of my smses but somehow she will forget. So all this happen for about 2 wks. This wk we had a lunch meeting n had a 1hr plus chat on the phone that nite. So come the main part, i decide to confess to her how i feel about her. Just now i called her n told her how i feel. But then she was like ermmm....no ans...i asked her whether is she single or attached but then no ans again....in the end she told me she wanted to rest already...so we ended our conversation....After which, i sms her that i dun need a reply so soon. but then i felt so regret now.....haiz...did i proceed too fast? somehow i think i did...
AA guys wats ur opinion...... -
too fast...u must find out first if she has a bf first lah... like, ask wat she usually do at nite, never go out with bf meh? then if no bf, she will say no lah, nobody want, but if got, she will say...sometimes lah, he is quite busy...etc
get it ...
well, just show your sincerity and see how lor -
i alreadi drop all the above hints liao, either she said "dun tell u" "why you wan to koe?" or she just luff and change topic.....Originally posted by sgboy2004:too fast...u must find out first if she has a bf first lah... like, ask wat she usually do at nite, never go out with bf meh? then if no bf, she will say no lah, nobody want, but if got, she will say...sometimes lah, he is quite busy...etc
get it ...
well, just show your sincerity and see how lor -
u make it too easy.
that's all i have to say for now becos i'm also going thru some crap ... so not in the right frame of mind to give good advise when i zi shen nan bao.
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good luck to u... tell us if she accepts u ok?
Got meet her soon? -
really too fast.haven't even gone on dates and how well do you really know her?
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Thanks man....at least u frank....Originally posted by jOhO:u make it too easy.
that's all i have to say for now becos i'm also going thru some crap ... so not in the right frame of mind to give good advise when i zi shen nan bao. -
Originally posted by Merkava79:Just need your opinion....
I just know a gal one month ago. My coy n hers have some biz dealings and 1st time i met her n i find her quite friendly n nice. So after exchanging name cards, i got hold of her mobile no and decide to make my move. I sent her good nite smses n asking how was her work n so on...She did replied most of my smses but somehow she will forget. So all this happen for about 2 wks. This wk we had a lunch meeting n had a 1hr plus chat on the phone that nite. So come the main part, i decide to confess to her how i feel about her. Just now i called her n told her how i feel. But then she was like ermmm....no ans...i asked her whether is she single or attached but then no ans again....in the end she told me she wanted to rest already...so we ended our conversation....After which, i sms her that i dun need a reply so soon. but then i felt so regret now.....haiz...did i proceed too fast? somehow i think i did...
AA guys wats ur opinion......
Obviously.
What's with the haste? Kills passion, seduction and the art of chase. Intensive flame burns the shortest.
Cheers -
well, i got do my homework b4 i proceed....just that she doesnt wan to tell her status....tats the onli barrier....i tried to ask her out on wkends but she told me her all her sats is busy till after national day....damn it, i really regret now.....Originally posted by stellazio:really too fast.haven't even gone on dates and how well do you really know her? -
You shld go out more often 1st.. wait after a while then confess.. like this u 2 fast liao lar ... but also not in the same frame of mind to advice cos i also zhi shen nan bao -
u're welcome..!Originally posted by Merkava79:Thanks man....at least u frank....
but i hope u do get wat i mean.
i mean it's not supposed to be a challenge of "mind games" but unfortunately humans are too complicated nowadays.
i can tell u even if she likes u, she might have gotten turned off, becos ...
you make it too easy.
i hope u interpret it correctly.
wish me luck with my shIt too.. if you could.
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I understand.....but i guess being frank oso get u nowhere....either way im shit....Originally posted by jOhO:u're welcome..!
but i hope u do get wat i mean.
i mean it's not supposed to be a challenge of "mind games" but unfortunately humans are too complicated nowadays.
i can tell u even if she likes u, she might have gotten turned off, becos ...
you make it too easy.
i hope u interpret it correctly.
wish me luck with my shIt too.. if you could. -
Anyway, if she reject me, i cant blame anyone but me.....a lesson really learnt cos i blew it due to a sudden rush of blood into my brain.....
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How come timing so accurate got 2 person oso zi shen nan bao?? Anyway thanks for your posting....hope u can solve ur problem tooOriginally posted by DriftingGuy:You shld go out more often 1st.. wait after a while then confess.. like this u 2 fast liao lar ... but also not in the same frame of mind to advice cos i also zhi shen nan bao -
Originally posted by Merkava79:
You may have been very efficient at work, accomplishing many tasks within limited timeframes, and so you thought you could apply the same principle on relationships and did not want to waste too much time in the 'pursuit' phase.
AA guys wats ur opinion...
Crash and burn.
A lady loves to be chased -- cutting to the chase makes her feel like she's some kind of 'lelong' goods on sale. Expressing your feelings further before you are even good friends may be cost- and time-efficient, but a tad too intimidating for almost every lady to accept.
Put yourself in the shoes of this lady. Should I say "yes" and risk making myself sound very 'easy' in front of this man? Should I say "no" and risk losing this man who seems decent enough to be a prospective partner? Both options don't seem appealing, so I'd rather choose the safest way out and say ermmmm... instead.
Because she didn't really say "no", all is not lost though.
A suggestion: Send her a message by SMS or email and apologise for your rashness in pushing the relationship. Tell her you'd give her as much time as she needs to know you better first. Ask her if she would continue to be your friend -- just friend (emphasize) -- and if she would still come out and have lunch again with you some day. Give her some breathing space and remember, you don't want to chase the "prey" away (wrong choice of words perhaps?).
Good hunting.
Apologies if you find this advice somewhat familiar. One has reached the point in life where one tends to repeat oneself at times. -
2 weeks and u confessed!Originally posted by Merkava79:Just need your opinion....
I just know a gal one month ago. My coy n hers have some biz dealings and 1st time i met her n i find her quite friendly n nice. So after exchanging name cards, i got hold of her mobile no and decide to make my move. I sent her good nite smses n asking how was her work n so on...She did replied most of my smses but somehow she will forget. So all this happen for about 2 wks. This wk we had a lunch meeting n had a 1hr plus chat on the phone that nite. So come the main part, i decide to confess to her how i feel about her. Just now i called her n told her how i feel. But then she was like ermmm....no ans...i asked her whether is she single or attached but then no ans again....in the end she told me she wanted to rest already...so we ended our conversation....After which, i sms her that i dun need a reply so soon. but then i felt so regret now.....haiz...did i proceed too fast? somehow i think i did...
AA guys wats ur opinion......
Shocked by that cos I think that u have not even known her well enough and also din give her enough time to get to know u better and u told her.
My opinion is that u proceeded way too fast. It isnt like u known her for a few years then lost contact then got back to know each other again.
I guess all u can do now is to wait for her reaction towards u. -
I will be meeting her tomolo for a dinner, she said wan to tok about it n doesnt wan to hold on any longer....guess the outcome is more or less confirm liao....Originally posted by setokaiba:2 weeks and u confessed!
Shocked by that cos I think that u have not even known her well enough and also din give her enough time to get to know u better and u told her.
My opinion is that u proceeded way too fast. It isnt like u known her for a few years then lost contact then got back to know each other again.
I guess all u can do now is to wait for her reaction towards u. -
well...Originally posted by Merkava79:I understand.....but i guess being frank oso get u nowhere....either way im shit....
ok.. let me try to be abit more specific.. ahhaha
i never believed in "straight out confession".
i prefer for her to be able to feel my "love" or "like" for her. make it so obvious that she doesn't doubt anything, EXCEPT that she has never heard it from u.
u see.. it goes this way. ur words and actions hint that u like her, but never ever telling her "i like u, pls be my gf".
of course u dun hint her until like first day meet her, next day send 99 roses with a card that says "free for lunch"? altho i must say, sometmies that can work too, but honestly most singaporean girls would be more wary than elated.
so the thing is to slowly hint her, but slow doesn't mean, week 1, do this, week 2, do that. it really depends on situation. but the PROCESS is the same, she suspects, then she reacts, to each "hint" or action. the key is in her REACTION. this is where i guess, experience comes in. a more experienced guy will be able to more accurately interpret her reactions, and act accordingly, by pulling back, or moving forward, untill finally, she is beyond a reasonable doubt that u like her, and REACTING to that knowledge, let's u kiss her, or hold her hand or watever which is what i guess i refer to as the "sealing response": where u know she has accepted u, WITHOUT EVEN HER TELLING U.
notice there was never a communication that "i like u pls be mine"? of course after all this hoo har, by all means, express! she already knows and accepts. singaporean guys find it easy to say "i like u" at the wrong times, and fail to say "i love u" at the right times..
that's why when i say "u make it too easy", she doesn't have to think, she knows u like her (duh!) and her reaction, "not interested" end of story. how are u supposed to interpret that? i mean the only way for u now is to pull back. no more moving forward until u manage to get her back into her "normal position" where she is not sure that u like her anymore.
so practical advise if u really must chase her? simply put, ignore her for a while. regain the "equilibrium". -
I have apologised to her liao by sms, n took ur suggestion....thanks for your reply....i really appreciate it....Originally posted by Tuatau:You may have been very efficient at work, accomplishing many tasks within limited timeframes, and so you thought you could apply the same principle on relationships and did not want to waste too much time in the 'pursuit' phase.
Crash and burn.
A lady loves to be chased -- cutting to the chase makes her feel like she's some kind of 'lelong' goods on sale. Expressing your feelings further before you are even good friends may be cost- and time-efficient, but a tad too intimidating for almost every lady to accept.
Put yourself in the shoes of this lady. Should I say "yes" and risk making myself sound very 'easy' in front of this man? Should I say "no" and risk losing this man who seems decent enough to be a prospective partner? Both options don't seem appealing, so I'd rather choose the safest way out and say ermmmm... instead.
Because she didn't really say "no", all is not lost though.
A suggestion: Send her a message by SMS or email and apologise for your rashness in pushing the relationship. Tell her you'd give her as much time as she needs to know you better first. Ask her if she would continue to be your friend -- just friend (emphasize) -- and if she would still come out and have lunch again with you some day. Give her some breathing space and remember, you don't want to chase the "prey" away (wrong choice of words perhaps?).
Good hunting.
Apologies if you find this advice somewhat familiar. One has reached the point in life where one tends to repeat oneself at times. -
too fast. you should try to understand her first.
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some pple u never will understand no matter how hard u try. so should he go on if he hits such a situation?Originally posted by Princesscutie:too fast. you should try to understand her first. -
too fast... should've ask her out and noe her more b4 attempting...Originally posted by Merkava79:Just need your opinion....
I just know a gal one month ago. My coy n hers have some biz dealings and 1st time i met her n i find her quite friendly n nice. So after exchanging name cards, i got hold of her mobile no and decide to make my move. I sent her good nite smses n asking how was her work n so on...She did replied most of my smses but somehow she will forget. So all this happen for about 2 wks. This wk we had a lunch meeting n had a 1hr plus chat on the phone that nite. So come the main part, i decide to confess to her how i feel about her. Just now i called her n told her how i feel. But then she was like ermmm....no ans...i asked her whether is she single or attached but then no ans again....in the end she told me she wanted to rest already...so we ended our conversation....After which, i sms her that i dun need a reply so soon. but then i felt so regret now.....haiz...did i proceed too fast? somehow i think i did...
AA guys wats ur opinion...... -
depends on how much he loves herOriginally posted by jOhO:some pple u never will understand no matter how hard u try. so should he go on if he hits such a situation? -
and if he loves her totally and absolutely, and yet still unable to understand her, what should he do then?Originally posted by Princesscutie:depends on how much he loves her -
he will not be the first nor the last to not understand girlsOriginally posted by jOhO:and if he loves her totally and absolutely, and yet still unable to understand her, what should he do then?