BGR: Please tell me what to do...
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To anyone whose reading this long problem of mine, whether u got an answer to my problem or not, i really appreciate ur effort. Thank you very very very much...
I'm a poly student and i got to know this girl around end of january. we started off well and got close to each other pretty soon. i could tell that she was intrested in me becoz i asked certain qus and her reply was obvious. there was once she was sick but insisted on going somewhere far for dinner with me... but i did not tell her abt my feelings becoz i wanted to get closer to her and then reveal my feelings. i thought this would ensure i could get her.
However as time passes, she got colder towards me. despite sacrificing alot of time for her and showering her with gifts. her time is spent on her other friends, guys and girls. instead of me. i couldnt take it anymore and i revealed my feelings for her. she then said she knew this was coming and she didnt wanted to be in a relationship. her actions before were very much showing she was intrested in me...
but god knows when she started changing and before i could realise it, she was treating me like a normal friend. she treats her friends very well, so i often got mistaken. but there is the difference in ur actions if u're intrested in someone or u're treating ur friend well. and i could tell that difference.
we arent as good as before but i've always been very dedicated to her and i never asked for her to sacrifice anything back. i just hope she could accept me... but she never did. i used to have academic and sports excellence but its now deterioating... i'm considered an achiever, and my performance now is really a big disaster. i just cannot focus on anything i do... still, my mind is sticking onto her...
i often miss her very much. every moment. the last thing before i sleep i think of her... so is the first thing i thought of when i wake up... i go to sch, listening to class, walking, eating, playing... virtually everything i do, she's in my mind... i've let her know abt how i missed her, but she doesnt have any response to it... she never reveals her feelings for me whether she likes me or not even though i asked her. if she doesnt, why not just tell me and let me give up. if she does, why not let me know and be with me... i used to msg her everyday and when sometimes she msgs me first... but she doesnt now. and i tried not msging her for a week and she doesnt even bother to msg me! she's now with another guy friend and she seems to be in good terms with him...
i'm feeling really bad and i dont know what to do. i've been telling myself to give up on her but i just couldnt do it. i've told myself to go for her one last time, if it doenst work out well, then lets forget it... but everytime it worked out somewhere in the middle. not bad and not good. i just dont know wat to do now... the worst feeling is when u're not very good with her, and not too bad, hanging somewhere in the middle... we used to be very good... but now we're not... someone please tell me what should i do... -
Chase her back lor... U made her angry de mah...
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Hmm... seems very much like a communication problem btw u and her huh... have you talk to her about your feelings? I mean from what you are saying it seems like you have been keeping a lot of your inner thoughts to yourself... Does she even know how you are feeling now? The fact is that you said she treats friends very well, could that be a possibility that she is also treating this guy as a good friend too? Could it be that she has been getting close to him recently that has resulted in the loss of trust in your current relationship?
Well... I can't say I know how you feel totally now for I'm not you, but it seems that you might be thinking a bit too much, it might just be good for you to have a talk with your gf... -
what did i do to make her angry? i've been trying very hard to chase her back but it doesnt work out... i'm drained of ideas... very tired mentally...
she's isnt my gf yet... she doesnt accept my love... i've talked to her abt all these before... but she doesnt wan to commit in a relationship and everytime i talked abt these, she says she feels stressed up... -
ive told her that i feel very neglected... but she says she cannot commit to someone too much...
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Oh dude... your story sounds familiar...I came across this few months back as well... Now she is happy tugging now to her bf for two months already... sigh...
At the end... just let nature take its course... If she's yours, she will come back to you ultimately... if she wasn't, then just wait around for that one to come...
And yeah... I took three years to learn that lesson... and three times too... -
hey... damn... that isnt very encouraging leh...
i'm not that kind of person that just accepts fate... i really wana fight for my 'perfect' life... -
erm, fredex, thanks alot for ur time. would really like to have u as a friend. please add me at [email protected]... thanks alot...
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Hmm... You got to understand that love is something that you cannot always fight for dude... I am pretty sure everyone else wants to fight for his/her perfect life too... but hey, are you going to make life miserable for both parties? I'm not trying to disourage you... I can tell that you have put in effort to make your 'perfect' life, and yes no doubt I'm sure you have her in your heart and mind all the time... but problem is... does she feels the same? have you spare a thought for her?Originally posted by TidusX:hey... damn... that isnt very encouraging leh... i'm not that kind of person that just accepts fate... i really wana fight for my 'perfect' life...
Perhaps this is more than fate, rather its more of her feeling towards you. Yes you can try all means to have a relationship with her, but no, you can't force her to say that she wants to be with you if that's not what she really wants...
I have many friends with same situations before... and they really try all they could for ages, which means years... and in the end? It seems that a guy will appear out of no where and poof~ you hear friends telling you that she's with this guy whom she met recently...
However, I would still like to wish you all the best~ =) -
its really easy to say than do it... i've told myself many times it cannot be forced and just give up... but something inside me always ultimately tell me to cling onto her... i just couldnt get her off my mind... she's in place of everything else in my mind...
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Of cos dude... same here also... I know she's with another guy now but I know that the story has not ended...
But look at it this way... we are still young and nobody know what will come out of the future dude...so who knows?
One thing I did learn was that so long as you did give in your best while trying to win over her heart, even though at the end you can't get to be with her, well... you can just console yourself that maybe now is just not the right time, or that you deserve someone better?
Life is more than just a her dude... Cheer up! =) -
i once held her hand and i asked her if she's angry. she smiled and said do i look like i'm angry... then later in the night, i asked if she was irritated by my holding her hand. she said its been a while since someone held her hand and she didnt feel irritated at all when i held hers... but she doesnt wana accept me and her reason was she cant commit to me as much as i did... i told her i dont need u to be like that... i just need u to be with me...
It didnt turn out well eventually either... what of me is not good enough? i've really done almost everything within my limits i thought of... -
cos when she's interested u showed no action.. now she sian 1/2 liao then u confess to her.. by doing tt.. u'll only reek of desperation nia..
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u're wrong. i did show action. i was being very good towards her and sacrificing much time for her. i didnt reveal my feelings becoz i tot it wasnt time yet... i wana be sure i really could get her... and meanwhile i continued to show her that i really cared and am true towards her... but she just went cold towards me as time passes... and i got no idea why...
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Oh dude... it happens...
Would you believe that this friend of mine actually went out with the girl that he like for three years on this year's Valentine's day and guess what? They held hands on that night as thought they were just any other couple on the street... both of them enjoyed so much on that night...but nah... Pity my this friend that the girl just got herself someone she recently met up... What about that? -
"i used to have academic and sports excellence but its now deterioating... i'm considered an achiever, and my performance now is really a big disaster. i just cannot focus on anything i do... still, my mind is sticking onto her..."
Humm can I say that you used to be very good in everything and she loves you for that but now you have lost everything and she treats you like dirt? -
oh dear... whats wrong man... how can anyone just change like that... i mean... something must have triggered that to have happened... just someone u know recently? more important that someone whom been dedicated to you? which is more valuable... do we all just wana go for that thrill of starting relationships...
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Hey dude... you got to know this is the real world... Things are ever changing and people can change... Take it easy...
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drx, i dont think is that... becoz, that guy who she's in good terms now(but not bf) are on the same sport as me but is not exactly as good as me yet... and she's in the same sport as us as well.. i'll see her everytime we have training... it really hurts to see her everytime but just dont know wat i can do to get her attention... she's like cant be bothered with me now... and i see her during trainings... i cant focus on my training at all... i've been performing way lower than my standard... and when i tot i could just talk to her later, i see her talking and laughing with 2 guys in the same training session. 1 of them being the one she's in good terms with... she even walked the same path as them back home, meaning she takes one big round to walk back her place... she never does that with me...
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What if she's ur dream girl? i have a philosophy in life that i can risk my life to achieve my dreams... i had a running dream to complete the marathon... i risked my life to complete it on the day of the race when i had slight fever... i never ever ran more than half the marathon even on my best performing days... and on the race day i made my mind up that i would put my life on the line if i had to, to complete the run. i did it eventually and i was esthetic...
she's my dream... do i really have to let her go... even if i do, how am i gonna do it... -
Dear TidusX:Originally posted by TidusX:To anyone whose reading this long problem of mine, whether u got an answer to my problem or not, i really appreciate ur effort. Thank you very very very much...
I'm a poly student and i got to know this girl around end of january. we started off well and got close to each other pretty soon. i could tell that she was intrested in me becoz i asked certain qus and her reply was obvious. there was once she was sick but insisted on going somewhere far for dinner with me... but i did not tell her abt my feelings becoz i wanted to get closer to her and then reveal my feelings. i thought this would ensure i could get her.
However as time passes, she got colder towards me. despite sacrificing alot of time for her and showering her with gifts. her time is spent on her other friends, guys and girls. instead of me. i couldnt take it anymore and i revealed my feelings for her. she then said she knew this was coming and she didnt wanted to be in a relationship. her actions before were very much showing she was intrested in me...
but god knows when she started changing and before i could realise it, she was treating me like a normal friend. she treats her friends very well, so i often got mistaken. but there is the difference in ur actions if u're intrested in someone or u're treating ur friend well. and i could tell that difference.
we arent as good as before but i've always been very dedicated to her and i never asked for her to sacrifice anything back. i just hope she could accept me... but she never did. i used to have academic and sports excellence but its now deterioating... i'm considered an achiever, and my performance now is really a big disaster. i just cannot focus on anything i do... still, my mind is sticking onto her...
i often miss her very much. every moment. the last thing before i sleep i think of her... so is the first thing i thought of when i wake up... i go to sch, listening to class, walking, eating, playing... virtually everything i do, she's in my mind... i've let her know abt how i missed her, but she doesnt have any response to it... she never reveals her feelings for me whether she likes me or not even though i asked her. if she doesnt, why not just tell me and let me give up. if she does, why not let me know and be with me... i used to msg her everyday and when sometimes she msgs me first... but she doesnt now. and i tried not msging her for a week and she doesnt even bother to msg me! she's now with another guy friend and she seems to be in good terms with him...
i'm feeling really bad and i dont know what to do. i've been telling myself to give up on her but i just couldnt do it. i've told myself to go for her one last time, if it doenst work out well, then lets forget it... but everytime it worked out somewhere in the middle. not bad and not good. i just dont know wat to do now... the worst feeling is when u're not very good with her, and not too bad, hanging somewhere in the middle... we used to be very good... but now we're not... someone please tell me what should i do...
This may not sound pleasing but keep in mind what i'm going to say.
The problem doesn't lies with you, you did your best.
I'm afraid that i have to label her 'a problem child' - Problematic.
From your post, she is really just checking you out and interest level dip below par, before you know it. She's checking out another guy.
Note: i could be wrong because there are variables to each r/s and courtship. But this is my prediction, for now.
Cheers -
and.. she gave me a box of cookies recently... i asked her why, she never said... she dont buy things for people for nothing... she lives quite a pampered life, people around her are very caring towards her and she takes people's care like for granted... abt 2 days later, i asked abt the cookies again... and i said u were missing me thats why u bought it for me didnt u... she never respond to it... and she said, have i been giving u the wrong impression... i want to remain single...
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hey man tell me about it.
read from ur stuff.
felt we are in the same shoes.
got very close at first, shower her with care , time , everything.
she did say she got some feelings too.
After tt day when we both confess, we are still friends but we both have feelings for each other.tts 3 weeks again, we normally would got out once or twice a week. been 3 weeks since we went out haha...after tt time around last week or wat i dunnoe wat happen, she became very unconcern for me, dun reply my sms frequently, ignore wat i say and stuff.act blur, lame tt kinda stuff. avoid question. chances is that the gals have a change of hearts man.
gals change heart fast. i still thinking about her alot.
Forget about her.
they are just leading us on.when they are lonely, they'll find us. when they got something to do or got other people that are more interested, they will throw us 1 side.
my serious pov.
Hope that it helps in a way or another. Cus seriously i dun see much different in our situation.
cheers! -
Hey dude... yeah I'm sure she's your dream girl... but your dream girl as of now... have you seen more than half the world and can you safely say that it will be her even til the last of your breath? I dunno what are you thinking of now... Yes she is your dream girl but you can't gurantee that it will stay forever that way... until it has been tried out...
And one thing you got to correct on your philosophy...unlike marathon, in the end you don't win a prize after your hardwork of trying to win her heart. The idea of a relationship is more on enjoying the process, like being together thru the thick and thin times, it's not about just winning her heart and yes! you got what you want. She's not a prize to be won, remember about that.
When a prize is involved, it is a linear way of motivation, meaning to say so long as you work ver very hard, with your effort, you will deserve your prize. But this is a love that both has to cherish and treasure dude... which means she has to respond to it too... and if she doesn't, what more can you do?
I know its hard for you to take it... but life is such -
does that mean that she aint serious abt me from the start? do i really have to forget abt her? i cant get her off my mind, its really bothering everything i do... what can i do to forget abt her... i use to run whenever i have problems, i wont be thinking abt the problem during running and i'd face it better after the run... but she's in my mind even everytime when i'm running... it just makes me stop and think abt her... what do i have to do to stop thinking abt her...