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[b]Hell Has No Fury But A woman's Scorn..I married my mother

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  • ichi87's Avatar
    64 posts since Mar '07
    • i oso agree that having a Family Charter will be the best solution for a broken family

  • nehpyh's Avatar
    1,297 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by 787180:
      Hell Has No Fury but A Woman's Scorn...I Married my motherin-law too...

      "I did not know that when I married my wife, I would also be getting a second ‘wife’, my mother-in-law, too."

      I may sound like a joke, but the reality is no joke. This sad tale is the true story of one man’s plight at the hands of a scheming mother-daughter team that cause him half a decade of hardship.

      As we know, the Women’s Charter has often been criticized for being biased against men, and over the years many people have written in to newspapers and other media to express their dissatisfaction. At the moment, Parliament is once again reviewing the charter to try to make it fairer towards men, while still protecting the rights of women.

      This is the story of a man who has suffered much due to the "protection" afforded by the Women’s Charter, and how he overcame many seemingly insurmountable obstacles on the way. While this is a true story, the names and some of the crucial identifying details have been changed, so as to protect those involved, especially the children. Our intention is to enlighten and inform, and not to humiliate anyone.

      ***

      Adrian Lim and Ivy Chien decided to get married after only three months together, registering their marriage in July 2000. They had been introduced by a marriage agency in December 1999.

      At first, all was well. He thought that this gentle piano teacher would make a good wife and doted on her. She liked to go to expensive concerts, and he would pay for the good seats.

      But the troubles started after their customary wedding ceremony (which was conducted at a swanky Orchard Road Hotel at her insistence) in January 2001, when they moved into their flat in the northern part of Singapore. Ivy and her mother, Madam Tan, started showing their true colours. Mdm Tan ordered Adrian to buy a queen-size bed, saying that her daughter was very small built, and would be pushed off a smaller bed during sex!

      It went far beyond choosing the marital bed, for this meddling mother-in-law would control their entire sex life: determining when and HOW they were to have sex. This made Adrian so frustrated, he once said to her, "Do you want to join in on the fun?"

      And if that wasn’t enough, even though it was a relatively new resale flat, Mdm Tan insisted that he replace the toilet bowl, which was in excellent condition, because of "germs."

      Yes indeed, they were very superstitious. This was clearly seen as Ivy first moved in, when she deliberately stepped on his shoes to have mastery over her husband. And master him she did.

      He became her slave, doing all the housework and obeying of her every whim. She said it was the Hainanese custom for husbands to take care of the wife. He would buy her breakfast every morning, and in return, all he got in return was accusations from his mother-in-law that he was ill-treating her daughter, feeding her two-dollar breakfasts like roti prata when she deserved eight-dollar meals: Adrian could not imagine what kind of breakfast would be so ridiculously expensive.

      Within three months, Ivy started treating the flat like a hotel. She would leave the house at 10am and not come back until late at night. Adrian eventually discovered that she would go over to her mother’s condominium and spent all day there, virtually living there.

      Worse, she would lock the master bedroom and not allow him in when she was gone, saying he might bring other women home and have sex with them. In fact, she would not even allow him to speak to his female collegues or even sales assistants in shops they patronized! Throughout the day, all he had was the change of clothes that she would throw on the floor outside the bedroom door, to last him until she came back.

      Eventually, Ivy became pregnant, which only served to worsen the situation, rather than improve it.

      When she was admitted to the hospital maternity ward, Ivy checked herself out of the C-class ward and into an A1-class ward, insisting that her husband pay for it. At that time, her husband, who is self-employed, was in great financial difficult and could only scrape enough money to afford a B-class ward at best, and that is after calling his sister and parents to loan money.

      As a result, Ivy and Mdm Tan alienated the father of the newborn girl. They prevented him from holding or even seeing his daughter after she was born, calling him a cheapskate for not paying for the A-class ward.

      Eventually, Adrian had enough of this treatment, and filed for divorce in 2002. But far from alleviating the situation, it only made it worse. This led to a few years of long drawn out battles, and at least fifteen court appearances. Adrian had no idea what he got himself into that day he decided to marry the Chien family!

      THE CHIEN FAMILY ALBUM

      Adrian Lim was not the first victim of Mdm Tan. In fact, her husband was also victimized.

      Adrian had been told that he had abandoned their family and run off with another woman to Hainan. But the truth was that he was still in Singapore

      She demanded all the same things that her daughter was now expecting, a life of luxury and a husband at her beck and call. He eventually died in a nursing home for the mentally unstable, having been driven made by his wife.

      But all is not lost, for not all her children were corrupted. During the course of the divorce, no family members supported Ivy and Mdm Tan. In contrast, Adrian’s family rallied around him, attending court hearings to support him. Mdm Tan even had to force another daughter to attend court. Even then, she did not sit inside the courtroom, but waited outside, not wanted to hear all the nonsense her family was spouting in front of the judge. She is probably the only one in the family living a stable life in a happily married family, mostly because she had cut ties with her mother.

      Mdm Tan was a Chinese teacher, and later head of department, in a neighborhood secondary school, and drove her colleagues and principal crazy.

      Similarly, Ivy could not hold down a job. She has worked at the Yamaha, Kawai and Cristifori music schools, but always left after bad behaviour angered her boss. For example, she would take extra long lunch breaks, and cancel class at last minute with no explanation. In return, she would complain that the principal of the school would always assign her first-timers, who were harder to teach. Whether or not that was deliberate on the part of the principal, to get back at her, we do not know.

      This atrocious behaviour was by no means unique, as throughout the course of the legal proceedings, his wife went through five lawyers, as they all progressively quit on her because of her abusive behaviour.

      HOME SWEET HOME

      Adrian regrets ever being bonded by this money-grubbing pair. He had seen the signs early. He remembers that when they first moved into the HDB flat, his mother-in-law rubbed her palms and had a look of glee in her eyes. She was probably already imagining getting her hands on the $360,000 flat.

      True enough, after his wife moved back to the mother’s condo, the flat became a major battleground for them. Even though Adrian was the sole contributor towards the buying of the flat, she still demanded her share after having only lived there for less than three months.

      Once, when he was not in, she came with a lorry to cart away movable items from the flat, even the washing machine. And what she could not move she sabotaged, like taking the heads of the kitchen stoves. She was even so petty as to take all the bed linens in the house, even the ones that were currently on the bed!

      She later tried to force him to sell the flat at a loss so that they could split the price. She did this by claiming that since they were no longer married, it was illegal for him to own and occupy the flat. She was not only trying to rob him, but throw him out on the street as well.

      Fortunately, Adrian had a few legitimate tricks up his sleeve. He appealed to then-Deputy Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong about his situation. He knew Mr Lee was very concerned over the lives of his citizens and takes all appeals seriously. As a result, upon his appointment as Prime Minister, Mr Lee announced that HDB flats could now be owned by single adults aged 35 and above. Adrian was pleased, as he could now legally keep his flat, which he paid for with his own hard earned money.

      But the battle raged on both inside and outside the courtroom.

      In fact, Ivy even figured out a way to use the law against him. She made anonymous calls to the Ministry of Environment alleging that he was breeding mosquitoes. They sent investigators down to his flat, and found the claims to be untrue. She also reported him to the Housing Development Board for operating an illegal tuition agency in his flat and making a nuisance. The HDB interviewed the neighbours, who all denied that Adrian was noisy and creating a disturbance. They also found that Adrian’s tutoring was small-scale and did not constitute a business.

      She then lodged several police reports against him, as a result the police would raid the flat. And each time, she would only take something small like a pack of batteries.

      In fact, she had planned this long before things turned sour. Soon after they were married, she had suggested that they purchase some "blue films" (pornographic shows) to watch together. Adrian knew it was illegal and did not want to, but she bought them anyway. So part of the point of the raids was in the hope of the police catching him with the illegal VCDs. But he had disposed of them by then.

      It seemed like that system was against him. With each raid, she would go to a different Neighborhood Police Post or Centre (in different police Land Divisions), even ones outside the neighbourhood, to make a report, as the police would soon get wise to her tricks.

      In frustration, Adrian appealed to the DPM and Home Affairs Minister Mr Wong Kan Seng, which successfully put a stop to that nonsense. Yet, all they were able to do to his wife was issue her stern warnings against filing false police reports.

      But she was not done manipulating the system yet.

      THE LOVE OF A FATHER

      Throughout most of the process, Adrian was denied the right to see his own daughter. In fact, Ivy and Mdm Tan had gone so far as to take out a Personal Protection Order against him, under false charges, in order to prevent him from seeing his daughter.

      He was disgusted by her behaviour. It did not show love towards the father or to the child. On the one hand, when she was 7-months pregnant Adrian had to dissuade her from aborting her baby because of her personal discomfort. On the other, she was using his child against him, as leverage to get him to pay for her 50-day stay in an A1-class ward for her delivery. And even after the child was born, she did not have any regard for the child at all, not even looking at her.

      And to top it off, he finally found out why his wife was spending all her time at her mother’s condo: she has thalassemia major, a life-threatening disease, which required daily blood pumping. The pump was probably located at her mother’s place. But this was also a disease that she had a responsibility to declare for the sake of the child, and she never told him throughout their marriage; they had claimed that the surgical scars on her body was from liposuction. It is amazing that she survived this long, as most thalassemia major sufferers do not live past the age of 30. (They were married when she was 32, and he was 38.)

      Ivy went to great lengths to prevent Adrian from seeing his daughter. She would repeatedly miss the visitation sessions, and give all sorts of excuses, including frivolous medical certificates saying that the child could not play with water (as if a family service centre has a pool). The issuing doctor was unaware that she was using the MCs to miss the court appointed meetings, and only found out later.

      Even when she did show up, she created problems. She would arrive late and use abusive language against him. She even tried to claim in court that the taxi ride from Yishun to Sergangoon, where the centre was, took $24 and over an hour. But the judge was not fooled.

      She even claimed that he hit her at the family service centre, but the staff there did not witness anything of the sort. She also claimed that while still in the hospital after the delivery, Adrian had hit her with the hospital phone. However, Adrian denied this, saying that if he had, she could have reported it to the nurses and doctors immediately, and he would have been arrested on the spot.

      Ivy and Mdm Tan even made false reports alleging that Adrian violated the PPO against them. Mdm Tan testified in court that Adrian had repeatedly beat and pinched her within five minutes, with the bruises to show for it. However, the judge threw out the testimony for inconsistencies, and concluded that the injuries were self-inflicted. Mdm Tan was made to apologize publicly in court, however, by then Adrian had already spent 6-hours in lock-up.

      Ivy even made a police report that Adrian had drugged her with a sweet and induced her into sex. Adrian could now even sue her in civil suit for the perjury but hesistated to do so in view of his young daughter though he did not get a chance to see her anymore.On another occasion, she claimed that he hired a bomoh to curse her.

      In the end, as the divorce was settled, Adrian was resigned that he would never see his daughter, who is now seven years old, for a long time. He just hopes that when she grows up, and is old enough to understand what was happening, that maybe he could reestablish a relationship with her.

      MONEY MATTERS

      Ultimately, Adrian realized that all they were about was money. Not that he even had much in the first place. Although he did accumulate some wealth in his younger years, by the time he got married, he was in a financial crisis and only making a meagre income running his own business. In fact, when they were married, Ivy was making $3300, more than double his income, and she still made him pay for all the household expenses and give her an allowance!

      During the divorce proceedings, she even told IRAS that he had a lot of hidden wealth that was undeclared, which of course was proven false.

      She had asked for 70% of the value of the flat that she stayed in for only 2 months, as well as 70% of his CPF, which was largely accumulated before marriage. She even requested for $3700 in alimony! She made claims about her lack of income, which if it were true would be her own doing, and Adrian countered with a testimony of the father of two of her students who confirmed that not only did she work as a music teacher, she was not a very good one. The judge finally awarded her $50.

      AFTERMATH

      Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, yet Adrian himself no longer has ill feelings against her, and wishes only to highlight this for society, and especially other men, to be aware of the problem.

      "Although I have forgiven her, as I have accepted Christ as my Saviour… I feel it is not right [that] she and even her mother (i.e. my ex-mother-in-law) had even used the same strategy [against my now deceased father-in-law]…" Adrian told us via email.

      He really feels that he has been victimized by abusive women, and also a society that protects women at the expense of men. He believes that they behaved this way they knew that as women they would not be serverely punished with jail time. That is why he is grateful that the Women’s Charter is being reviewed. In fact, in a letter published in the forum page of one of our local newspapers, he advocated instead that a Family Charter be set up, to protect families as a whole, rather than just one gender against another.

      In the past, he has shared his views with Mr Chan Choo San, at the time Minister of State for Law, that it was unfair that all the judges hearing cases in Family Court related to husband-and-wife disputes were women, and would invariable find in favour of the wife. Since then, male judges have been introduced to Family Court, and Adrian is happy that he could play an instrumental role in protecting the rights of fathers and husbands against their abusive wives.

      "When I went to court on the first day," Adrian told us, "I thought I was sure to lose. The Women’s Charter is a very powerful law. But instead, the judge saw right through them [Ivy and Mdm Tan] and ruled in my favour. I was overjoyed. It was on that day that I turned my life over to God and became a Christian, as I knew He was responsible for achieving this miracle.

      "In fact, it started earlier that morning. It was raining heavily, and I was trying to get a taxi. I was supposed to appear in court at 10am, and it was already 9:15. I was desperate and called out to God. The amazing thing is that the moment I finished my prayer, a cab stopped right in front of me to discharge a passenger. I managed to get to court on time."

      Since early this year, Adrian is happily remarried to a lady whom he met at church. He lives with her in the same flat with his elderly parents. He continues to run his business and is now financially stable again.

      Adrian has survived a terrible ordeal, and he hopes that other men do not have to suffer his fate.In fact his father-in-law had passed away in 2005 in a mental nursing home after his wife( ie Adrian's ex mother-in-law ) used almost similar techniques to torment his husband and had passed her 'teachings' to her daughter.To avoid history from repeating ,Adrian has decided to reveal his true life story and to advise all those who intend to get married to be wary of abusive wives and troublesome mothers-in-law.

      [/b]

      Adrian married someone in 3 months?!!! WTF? Not very smart right?

  • Daisuke-kun's Avatar
    19,078 posts since Jun '07
  • Xcert's Avatar
    10,722 posts since Dec '01
    • Originally posted by countdracula:
      at the meet the people session, die die these ministers have no choice but to appear on weekly basis, you got issues, go see them............

      if U dont stay under their charge...U are not even going to get pass their underlings...

  • 787180's Avatar
    283 posts since Dec '07
    • Originally posted by Xcert:
      if U dont stay under their charge...U are not even going to get pass their underlings...

      For PM Lee at Ang Mo Kio constituency every thur opp air-con bus terminus...even if U're not from his ward PM Lee will peruse thru every letter address to his secretary...This is not a ficititous story but I want to highlight to the public that such women exist in S'pore who really know how to take advantage of the Woman's Charter to use against their estranged husbands....sometimes when nasty, seemingly insurmountable obstacles are against U....divine help seems to be the only way...hve faith in whatever religion U've as God Is Great Razz

  • ctstalin's Avatar
    3,438 posts since Dec '04
    • minus the pro PAP and christ sentiment please

      repeal the woman's charter!!!!

      sexual equality! Mad

  • binarynwitz's Avatar
    730 posts since Dec '05
    • Originally posted by 787180:
      For PM Lee at Ang Mo Kio constituency every thur opp air-con bus terminus...even if U're not from his ward PM Lee will peruse thru every letter address to his secretary...This is not a ficititous story but I want to highlight to the public that such women exist in S'pore who really know how to take advantage of the Woman's Charter to use against their estranged husbands....sometimes when nasty, seemingly insurmountable obstacles are against U....divine help seems to be the only way...hve faith in whatever religion U've as God Is Great Razz

      Laughing Laughing Laughing

      I was reading it previously. Then I saw the pro-PAP message & the Christianity message.

      It sounded to me you're just trying to spread things.

  • kristovorus's Avatar
    287 posts since Feb '07
    • nice story.. but why so pro-government Rolling Eyes

      and how adrian know that the cab is sent by God and not by Buddha?

  • 787180's Avatar
    283 posts since Dec '07
    • [quote]Originally posted by kristovorus:
      nice story.. but why so pro-government Rolling Eyes

      and how adrian know that the cab is sent by God and not by Buddha?
      [/quote

      This story is not a fictition but what happened in actual life to Adrian.Adrian was always for the opposition party but was grateful in particular to the PM for coming to his rescue as the anamoly and injustice in law was addressed.many spiteful women who may be well off financially but when divorce sets in,they would rather see their estranged husbands be brought to their knees and they know how to exploit the loopholes of the outmoded,outdated Women's Charter.In fact while giving Adrain's model support as a friend at the Family Court, I've personally heard China's women claimed/boasted of S'pore Women's Charter protecting mainly the women to the extent they can exploit it to canvass for more financial rewards eg distribution of assets in the event of matrimonial breakdown.

      Adrain was previously a staunch Buddhist worshipping regularly at the renowned Waterloo St temple until he finally turns to Christ...certainly not meant to spread any religious faith but I'm just reporting the facts.

      My aim is actually to highlight that injustice does exist and prewarn men that your seemingly "gentle"wife can turn into a ravenous tigress when $$$ is concerned.Marriage is a risk and it can turn out either ways Razz

    • Originally posted by Detached:
      Sadly beautiful. I'm gladdened that all ended well Very Happy

      May I ask what happened to that child? Has she reunited with her dad?

      The child was born on 1 Dec 2001 and should be entering primary 1 next year but Adrain is still giving monthly support by crediting his ex wife account for the support of the child but his refused physical visits.Adrian is hoping his ex wife who was diagnosed with Thalasismma major(she even lied to him that she was perfectly healthy b4 marriage).With this major blood condition his wife was not expected to live long but surprisingly she has even reached 39 this year because once she passed away then Adrian has the right to claim back and be reunited with his daughter.

      This is exactly the same strategy Adrian's ex mum-in-law used against her husband ie Adrian's father-in-law.Adrian's father-in-law was a high flyer graduated from the University of Singapore and working as a financially controller previously with TCS until the spiteful,ever jealous wife( ie Adrian's mum-in law) frequent quarrels and demands for branded goods and luxurious life caused him to suffer from depression.Finally he was warded in a mental home and the mum-in-lwas forbade her children to visit their father and the latter died of a broken heart in 2005.Sad,right a cae of history almost repeating itself but once again the story here is not to promote or support any religious or political groups but to reflect that our Woman's Charter is due for a change but remain unheeded

  • Short Ninja's Avatar
    8,421 posts since Jan '07
    • Mother in laws can be really evil. female dogsSo at end what happened. Adrian not only became a Christian but also started voting for the PAP? And you call that a happy ending?

  • Quinsy's Avatar
    9,497 posts since Sep '04
  • dbowie's Avatar
    4,043 posts since Mar '07
  • Xcert's Avatar
    10,722 posts since Dec '01
    • Originally posted by 787180:
      For PM Lee at Ang Mo Kio constituency every thur opp air-con bus terminus...even if U're not from his ward PM Lee will peruse thru every letter address to his secretary...This is not a ficititous story but I want to highlight to the public that such women exist in S'pore who really know how to take advantage of the Woman's Charter to use against their estranged husbands....sometimes when nasty, seemingly insurmountable obstacles are against U....divine help seems to be the only way...hve faith in whatever religion U've as God Is Great Razz

      having no experience dealing with the PM...I maintain my stand but is not refuting ur post either. Wink

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,183 posts since Apr '07
  • 787180's Avatar
    283 posts since Dec '07
    • Originally posted by Short Ninja:
      Mother in laws can be really evil. female dogsSo at end what happened. Adrian not only became a Christian but also started voting for the PAP? And you call that a happy ending?

      Adrian is now happily married but he still gives ever month without fail $400 to his daughter by crediting his ex wife POSB account as ordered by the court but he does not geta chance to see his daughter.He is hoping his evil ex wife was was afflicted with Thalasimma major(a deadly blood disorder) to pass away so he can bond with his daughter and hopefully his equally cruel ex mum-in-law will not object to his taking back of his daughter.

      Adrian is indeed grateful to PM Lee of Teck Ghee(Ang Mo Kio GRC) for changing the law to enable single pple 35years and above to buy 4 room and above HDB flats without the need to form nucleus family.If not for this change as approved by PM Lee,Adrian would have to sell his resale HDB flat at a great loss as demanded by hie ex wife who herself lived in a condo in Yishun but would want to get even with Adrian so as to make the divorce a long and painful ones...

      I've met and informed Adrian that I posted his story on forum to let S'pore public be aware that such wicked mum-in-law and diabolic ex wife do exist in modern S'pore. Razz Razz Razz

  • Guardx's Avatar
    361 posts since May '07
    • Originally posted by 787180:
      Adrian is now happily married but he still gives ever month without fail $400 to his daughter by crediting his ex wife POSB account as ordered by the court but he does not geta chance to see his daughter.He is hoping his evil ex wife was was afflicted with Thalasimma major(a deadly blood disorder) to pass away so he can bond with his daughter and hopefully his equally cruel ex mum-in-law will not object to his taking back of his daughter.

      Adrian is indeed grateful to PM Lee of Teck Ghee(Ang Mo Kio GRC) for changing the law to enable single pple 35years and above to buy 4 room and above HDB flats without the need to form nucleus family.If not for this change as approved by PM Lee,Adrian would have to sell his resale HDB flat at a great loss as demanded by hie ex wife who herself lived in a condo in Yishun but would want to get even with Adrian so as to make the divorce a long and painful ones...

      I've met and informed Adrian that I posted his story on forum to let S'pore public be aware that such wicked mum-in-law and diabolic ex wife do exist in modern S'pore. Razz Razz Razz

      Another sad story, Wats the point of treating evil people like the wife so nicely when they walk all over you?

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,183 posts since Apr '07
    • Yes, the story serves to remind SG men not be so deperado and go marry someone only after 3 short months.

      Same goes to foreign brides.

      My friend married a foreign bride, and she insist she migrate her whole family over. Now he has to support not only his own parents, but also her parents.

      Edited by jojobeach 26 Dec `07, 9:14AM
  • Short Ninja's Avatar
    8,421 posts since Jan '07
    • Originally posted by jojobeach:
      Yes, the story serves to remind SG men not be so deperado and go marry someone only after 3 short months.

      Same goes to foreign brides.

      My friend married a foreign bride, and she insist she migrate her whole family over. Now he has to support not only his own parents, but also her parents.

      I know someone who proposed to a girl on the first night while on a blind date.He was desperate alright but so was she cuz they were both already in their late 30s,that was 10 years ago and they are still happily married.Love is blind , desperate but got shiok oso lah.

  • 787180's Avatar
    283 posts since Dec '07
    • Originally posted by Guardx:
      Another sad story, Wats the point of treating evil people like the wife so nicely when they walk all over you?

      Hi Guardx any gd ideas so we can assist Adrian to "slaughter' his evil ex-wife?I write out this real life story as Adrian is quite forgiving person but I personally feel he has been unfairly punished and bullied and this story goes to prove injustice does exist in modern Singapore.

      Imagine the police refused to prosecute the ex-wife even though she made false police report that Adrian induced her to have sex and video-taped the act to force her to give up custody of the child and not the fight with him for the share of the flat,baring in mind she did not contribute a single cent to the matrimonial home as she herself co owns a condo at Orchid Park.She has the cheek to lie in court ahe did not eatn much but in actual fact she is a piano teacher on her own and also teaching at Yamaha,Cristofori,Kawai and now with a music school at Causeway Point

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,183 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by 787180:
      Hi Guardx any gd ideas so we can assist Adrian to "slaughter' his evil ex-wife?I write out this real life story as Adrian is quite forgiving person but I personally feel he has been unfairly punished and bullied and this story goes to prove injustice does exist in modern Singapore.

      Imagine the police refused to prosecute the ex-wife even though she made false police report that Adrian induced her to have sex and video-taped the act to force her to give up custody of the child and not the fight with him for the share of the flat,baring in mind she did not contribute a single cent to the matrimonial home as she herself co owns a condo at Orchid Park.She has the cheek to lie in court ahe did not eatn much but in actual fact she is a piano teacher on her own and also teaching at Yamaha,Cristofori,Kawai and now with a music school at Causeway Point

      Why are you holding this grudge against his ex-wife as if she is your own ?
      OR
      Are you the other woman Adrian married ?

      Does Adrian has shared custody of the child ?

      The money that Adrian gives to the wife is FOR THE CHILD.
      Just because his ex-wife is earning a good income, DOESN'T means Adrian won't need to contribute to the expense of the CHILD.
      GET THIS STRAIGHT WILL YOU?

      She co-owns the condo with who ? Adrian or her mom ?

      The ex-wife got no CPF ? She didn't contribute to the flat using her CPF ?

      You are letting the hatred cloud your good judgment my friend.

      Either that, or the story is just a mockery.

      That 35 year old sh!t affects not just people like Adrian. In fact, they shouldn;t have such tight policies in the first place, the minimum age should be LOWERED to 25 ! So single adults don't have to be FORCED to live with their PARENTS.

      Edited by jojobeach 27 Dec `07, 8:24AM
  • joyc's Avatar
    240 posts since Dec '07
  • 787180's Avatar
    283 posts since Dec '07
    • Originally posted by jojobeach:
      Why are you holding this grudge against his ex-wife as if she is your own ?
      OR
      Are you the other woman Adrian married ?

      Does Adrian has shared custody of the child ?

      The money that Adrian gives to the wife is FOR THE CHILD.
      Just because his ex-wife is earning a good income, DOESN'T means Adrian won't need to contribute to the expense of the CHILD.
      GET THIS STRAIGHT WILL YOU?

      She co-owns the condo with who ? Adrian or her mom ?

      The ex-wife got no CPF ? She didn't contribute to the flat using her CPF ?

      You are letting the hatred cloud your good judgment my friend.

      Either that, or the story is just a mockery.

      That 35 year old sh!t affects not just people like Adrian. In fact, they shouldn;t have such tight policies in the first place, the minimum age should be LOWERED to 25 ! So single adults don't have to be FORCED to live with their PARENTS.

      replies..Adrian's ex wife co owns the condo at orchid park with her own mother ie Adrain's ex evil mother-in-law.Ex wife is using part of her CPF to finance the condo..the greatest cheapskate thing is that he dared to demand from Adrian $3700 ailmony and 70% of Adrian's cpf when the marriage lasted , 1 year.This clearly shows that the ex -wife was out to draw blood or to spite Adrian for initiating the divorce.

      The point even S'pore police and the Family Court let the evil women off so lightly whereas Adrian had to suffer humilitation at police's lock up.His ex wife bluntly ignored 5 times to attend Family Service Centre as per court order and even made false police report that Adrian 'raped" her and videotaped the sexual abuse to force her to give up custody.End result police only gave her a severe warning only...is this fair to Man?..Ask yourself bro....my aim of writing this story on behalf of Adrian is to draw s'porean attention to such injustice in modern S'pore Razz Razz Razz

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    8,183 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by 787180:
      replies..Adrian's ex wife co owns the condo at orchid park with her own mother ie Adrain's ex evil mother-in-law.Ex wife is using part of her CPF to finance the condo..the greatest cheapskate thing is that he dared to demand from Adrian $3700 ailmony and 70% of Adrian's cpf when the marriage lasted , 1 year.This clearly shows that the ex -wife was out to draw blood or to spite Adrian for initiating the divorce.

      The point even S'pore police and the Family Court let the evil women off so lightly whereas Adrian had to suffer humilitation at police's lock up.His ex wife bluntly ignored 5 times to attend Family Service Centre as per court order and even made false police report that Adrian 'raped" her and videotaped the sexual abuse to force her to give up custody.End result police only gave her a severe warning only...is this fair to Man?..Ask yourself bro....my aim of writing this story on behalf of Adrian is to draw s'porean attention to such injustice in modern S'pore Razz Razz Razz

      You say part of her CPF goes to the condo, but you never say zero contribution to the flat.

      The HDB is the matrimonial home. That means the wife has the right to that asset.
      In other countries, it's the same. Matrimonial home needs to be divy up during a divorce.

      The ex-wife can try to lay claim to anything, but it's up to the courts to decide who gets what.

      Look, you think Adrian will be able to take better care of his daughter ?
      How will you think it will affect his daughter if the mom dies.
      Don't be so selfish. Think for the kid too.

      Divorces are ugly. So stop giving us this one sided sh!t.

  • 787180's Avatar
    283 posts since Dec '07
    • Originally posted by jojobeach:
      You say part of her CPF goes to the condo, but you never say zero contribution to the flat.

      The HDB is the matrimonial home. That means the wife has the right to that asset.
      In other countries, it's the same. Matrimonial home needs to be divy up during a divorce.

      The ex-wife can try to lay claim to anything, but it's up to the courts to decide who gets what.

      Look, you think Adrian will be able to take better care of his daughter ?
      How will you think it will affect his daughter if the mom dies.
      Don't be so selfish. Think for the kid too.

      Divorces are ugly. So stop giving us this one sided sh!t.

      ....The HDB flat was paid for all by Adrian and his parents/siblings but his evil wife wanted 79% of the house after living for < a year and she did not contribute a single cent to this so called matrimonial flat but instead her cpf went to pay the condo she co owns with her mum.

      Want to invivte this woman to air her views..I understand she works in Symphony Music at Causeway point and can't even get along with the teachers there

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