Heartbroken> =(
-
people usually cross over to the new year in a happy mood but not for me.
it have been an painful year for me.. and heres my story.. i just think i might feel better if i write it out.
2007
im serving NS.
shes studying.
we have been having probs. she always complain i dun have enough time for her always think i neglected her. to some extent i did, however most of the time i dunno why did this happen. 'he' came in. 'he' was just a random friendster guy that pm her. 'he' was at the right time , at the right place. 'he' console her whenever we have fights, basically acting like a good guy.
i know of 'he'.
'he' have been doin alot for her. like accompanying her whenever she needs, no matter how late, like popping over whenever she needs company. these are things that im not really able to do. i got ns, no personal transport while 'he' owns a car n can go around as n when he pleases. im not rich so i do not have the luxury of taking a cab.
they got closer. 'he' started to display his true color as 'he' know she likes him now. 'he' keep asking her to break off with me but she didnt wan to and got angry n threw his wallet away. he was upset n went off, she went crying to me asking me what to do to appease him and she dun wan to chat with me becuz she needed to talk to him desparately. i knew it was over by then. i confronted her n ask her to pick n she picked me. i was happy but she was not goin to let him go, she said she still wan to keep him as fren. im soft hearted and thought she will do it(my frens say my heart super big)..
anyway, they were still on talking terms which got me upset but i decided not to say anything as i thought she needed time. the dreadful moment comes, she started to treat me very coldly till i cannot take it n asked her(EG, when i was at her place, he called she would pick up the call n dash into the room. i was quite upset as the day b4 she promised not to hide anything. so i decided to leave and she remained in her room and didnt bother to even give me a call. she claim it was just politeness to move away to talk)
she said it not abt him. she say she feels numb abt me n him. she appreciate what i do for her but she could not reciprocate anymore. she dunno how.
she wanted to come up with some kind of mutual conclusion but we didnt really get to any..
im really upset now. shd i just get over her n move on or try to salvage this r/s??
she is a really nice girl. her character n personality is what is still keeping me.. haiz.. -
Oh gosh,that feeling must have sucked.
That helpless feeling.
Rich,got car,always there for her whenever she needs someone,puts him in a rather favourable advantage over you.
But that part of him aksing ur gf to break up with u is rather..'despicable'. -
Yes, it is sickening to have such issue at hand esp when you're serving your nation.Originally posted by ahkeat:people usually cross over to the new year in a happy mood but not for me.
it have been an painful year for me.. and heres my story.. i just think i might feel better if i write it out.
2007
im serving NS.
shes studying.
we have been having probs. she always complain i dun have enough time for her always think i neglected her. to some extent i did, however most of the time i dunno why did this happen. 'he' came in. 'he' was just a random friendster guy that pm her. 'he' was at the right time , at the right place. 'he' console her whenever we have fights, basically acting like a good guy.
i know of 'he'.
'he' have been doin alot for her. like accompanying her whenever she needs, no matter how late, like popping over whenever she needs company. these are things that im not really able to do. i got ns, no personal transport while 'he' owns a car n can go around as n when he pleases. im not rich so i do not have the luxury of taking a cab.
they got closer. 'he' started to display his true color as 'he' know she likes him now. 'he' keep asking her to break off with me but she didnt wan to and got angry n threw his wallet away. he was upset n went off, she went crying to me asking me what to do to appease him and she dun wan to chat with me becuz she needed to talk to him desparately. i knew it was over by then. i confronted her n ask her to pick n she picked me. i was happy but she was not goin to let him go, she said she still wan to keep him as fren. im soft hearted and thought she will do it(my frens say my heart super big)..
anyway, they were still on talking terms which got me upset but i decided not to say anything as i thought she needs time. the dreadful moment comes, she started to treat me very coldly till i cannot take it n asked her(EG, when i was at her place, he called she would pick up the call n dash into the room. i was quite upset as the day b4 she promised not to hide anything. so i decided to leave and she remained in her room and didnt bother to even give me a call. she claim it was just politeness to move away to talk)
she said it not abt him. she say she feels numb abt me n him. she appreciate what i do for her but she could not reciprocate anymore. she dunno how.
she wanted to come up with some kind of mutual conclusion but we didnt really get to any..
im really upset now. shd i just get over her n move on or try to salvage this r/s??
she is a really nice girls. her character n personality is what is still keeping me.. haiz..
To your question, i have something for you to consider until the next time we meet here again.
If a girl does not know how to make decisions swiftly(she wants the best of both world), she will lead you to many battles - that is, if you allow her leading.
At end state, it will not be the relationship you desire to have.
This lesson might be necessary though.
Cheers -
AhKeat,
I wouldn't really consider her a nice girl.
No, it's not good manners to dash into the room when a guy call while she is with you.
When a guy call, and I am with my bf, I make sure I stay with him and talk, so there's really nothing to hide.
You're wearing a green hat, and you are allowing her to put one on you.
All I can say is, she is stringing both of you along.
And she enjoys having two guys fighting over her.
Since you are doing NS, you might as well play along in her game.
Even if you break off with her, it won't be so easy for you to find another gf anyway.
Put a barrier around your heart for now. -
this is just another typical case of, boy goes to NS, girl gets lonely, girl find another one to fulfill her needs, so whats new?
-
two timing is consider a nice gal ? wow life has changed.Originally posted by ahkeat:people usually cross over to the new year in a happy mood but not for me.
it have been an painful year for me.. and heres my story.. i just think i might feel better if i write it out.
2007
im serving NS.
shes studying.
we have been having probs. she always complain i dun have enough time for her always think i neglected her. to some extent i did, however most of the time i dunno why did this happen. 'he' came in. 'he' was just a random friendster guy that pm her. 'he' was at the right time , at the right place. 'he' console her whenever we have fights, basically acting like a good guy.
i know of 'he'.
'he' have been doin alot for her. like accompanying her whenever she needs, no matter how late, like popping over whenever she needs company. these are things that im not really able to do. i got ns, no personal transport while 'he' owns a car n can go around as n when he pleases. im not rich so i do not have the luxury of taking a cab.
they got closer. 'he' started to display his true color as 'he' know she likes him now. 'he' keep asking her to break off with me but she didnt wan to and got angry n threw his wallet away. he was upset n went off, she went crying to me asking me what to do to appease him and she dun wan to chat with me becuz she needed to talk to him desparately. i knew it was over by then. i confronted her n ask her to pick n she picked me. i was happy but she was not goin to let him go, she said she still wan to keep him as fren. im soft hearted and thought she will do it(my frens say my heart super big)..
anyway, they were still on talking terms which got me upset but i decided not to say anything as i thought she needed time. the dreadful moment comes, she started to treat me very coldly till i cannot take it n asked her(EG, when i was at her place, he called she would pick up the call n dash into the room. i was quite upset as the day b4 she promised not to hide anything. so i decided to leave and she remained in her room and didnt bother to even give me a call. she claim it was just politeness to move away to talk)
she said it not abt him. she say she feels numb abt me n him. she appreciate what i do for her but she could not reciprocate anymore. she dunno how.
she wanted to come up with some kind of mutual conclusion but we didnt really get to any..
im really upset now. shd i just get over her n move on or try to salvage this r/s??
she is a really nice girl. her character n personality is what is still keeping me.. haiz..
Lets be realistic for once. She is no longer the gal she once was. Is a fact people change.
look at your own statment below.
" like accompanying her whenever she needs, no matter how late, like popping over whenever she needs company. these are things that im not really able to do. i got ns, no personal transport while 'he' owns a car n can go around as n when he pleases. im not rich so i do not have the luxury of taking a cab."
She wants more and you cannot provide for her. Is simple and clear cut. She wants the best of both worlds and you are giving it to her.
Cut your loss by ending it early. -
btw read this
http://sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=270986
since the gal in the story can dump her bf for another guy. Why not try her method and get a better gal? -
So true.. in fact, perhaps she just feel guilty to abandon u even though she might already think she likes the guy more than u. So now since she lied to u and also wanted to be with the guy, she treated u coldly so that u leave her and she can get the guy.Originally posted by Guardx:two timing is consider a nice gal ? wow life has changed.
Lets be realistic for once. She is no longer the gal she once was. Is a fact people change.
look at your own statment below.
" like accompanying her whenever she needs, no matter how late, like popping over whenever she needs company. these are things that im not really able to do. i got ns, no personal transport while 'he' owns a car n can go around as n when he pleases. im not rich so i do not have the luxury of taking a cab."
She wants more and you cannot provide for her. Is simple and clear cut. She wants the best of both worlds and you are giving it to her.
Cut your loss by ending it early.
cmon.. a 2-timing gal is never a good gal.. this kind of gal doesnt know what she really want.. she should know to stay distance from guy fren.. but in fact, she like this company of the Farking 3rd party guy and forgot to stay far from him
TS, its not your fault, its only her fault. Excuses as longing for companionship and then find another guy is just totally unforgiven. yes, i believe gal do need companionship.. but of course not to the extend of more than a fren, am i rite?
Leave her , my fren...
Just tell her, your time with her is already gone.. it wil never be the same as b4. tell her that u need a break from this r/s and see how thing goes..
when u break up, dun even try to cal or sms her.. just ignore her.. perhaps she might know whom she really love. and u just focus on your ns thingy.
A successful man always have a supportive and loyal women beside them.. Certainly , shes not the one.. perhaps still young.. hard to blame anyone for these kind of stuff on early age. -
feel really sad to hear this. And i am scared too
gng navy this yr -
I have experienced these type of things b4.
She told me the exact things as in yr thread.
The other guy does the same things as described in yr thread.
And I reacted the same way as described in yr thread too.
I guess, in terms of character, u and me have something in familar.she said it not abt him. she say she feels numb abt me n him. she appreciate what i do for her but she could not reciprocate anymore. she dunno how.
From the above, she told me. I paused for 5 seconds. For that 5 seconds, it seems like 5 mins with many thoughts running in my head. Somehow, this seems to be an expected shock. Somehow, I just dont want to give up. And eventually somehow, I remember the initial reasons on y I accepted her - To keep her happy. Because of tat, I shallowed some air, pick up the courage and told her tat it is better for us to have time for ourselves. During these time, u will not need to care abt me and able to do anything that u want for yrself. I will wait u for a period of 10mths. Of coz, she feels guilty, I console her and the conversation ends.
she wanted to come up with some kind of mutual conclusion but we didnt really get to any..
Of coz, I m not the give up type person. I tried to have an update on her everytime without her noeing till one month later, she called and told me coldly "she thinks is over". Tat is time tat gives me the most impact but I still honor my words till then.
Well, all the above, all in the past now. Just want to share with u as a reference. Every1 has a different path. I wish yr path is a much better one than mine. -
we're tgt the day before i enlist. during the stay in period she was with me all the time. when now im staying out, these happens.. she was able to be with me for that period which i think was very nice.. but now.. hai..
that 3rd party even told her that he doesnt mind being the 'mistress' as long as she dun chase him away.. that really makes me angry that it comes out from the mouth of a 25 year old.. dun they have moral value nowadays.. hai
i asked her why are u dragging like this and she said she dun have the courage to to break up with me or him... that is so sad =(Originally posted by Zarks:So true.. in fact, perhaps she just feel guilty to abandon u even though she might already think she likes the guy more than u. So now since she lied to u and also wanted to be with the guy, she treated u coldly so that u leave her and she can get the guy.
cmon.. a 2-timing gal is never a good gal.. this kind of gal doesnt know what she really want.. she should know to stay distance from guy fren.. but in fact, she like this company of the Farking 3rd party guy and forgot to stay far from him
TS, its not your fault, its only her fault. Excuses as longing for companionship and then find another guy is just totally unforgiven. yes, i believe gal do need companionship.. but of course not to the extend of more than a fren, am i rite?
Leave her , my fren...
Just tell her, your time with her is already gone.. it wil never be the same as b4. tell her that u need a break from this r/s and see how thing goes..
when u break up, dun even try to cal or sms her.. just ignore her.. perhaps she might know whom she really love. and u just focus on your ns thingy.
A successful man always have a supportive and loyal women beside them.. Certainly , shes not the one.. perhaps still young.. hard to blame anyone for these kind of stuff on early age. -
I don't think she loves you anymore, if she was hesitating that means you are on the same level with him. So just leave her and find a better one.
-
Its hard to say la.. sometimes.. they are just not meant to be with us.. we can have plenty of r/s but till u havent found The One, u will always fail.Originally posted by ahkeat:we're tgt the day before i enlist. during the stay in period she was with me all the time. when now im staying out, these happens.. she was able to be with me for that period which i think was very nice.. but now.. hai..
that 3rd party even told her that he doesnt mind being the 'mistress' as long as she dun chase him away.. that really makes me angry that it comes out from the mouth of a 25 year old.. dun they have moral value nowadays.. hai
i guess u really need to break up with her for time being.. let both of u think whats the best.
honestly, TS.. if this happen to me, i will break up with her.. this is already too much. How can my gal be so happy and so near with a guy who has feeling towards her.. and if she still keep in contact.. for me, i believe, its still more than a fren..
Ask this to yourself..
IF lets say this case is opposite. You're the one having the prob like ur gf.. if u somehow know a gal really like u and u know shes courting you, will u still keep in touch with her or always accept her call or sms? Will u do it ? and yet, u tell all these to your gf and let your gf jealous and worried bout u ? Wheres the logic ?
I dont know if the gal is testing u to see if u really love her. but the way shes doin it is just too much.. she should have stay a distance from the guy. not still keeping in touch even though its wrong...
Just break up. later she will know whom she should really pick in the future. i bet she will regret cuz that guy doesnt seem to be nice too to be 3rd party even though hes 25. Age doesnt matter here, the mentality matters the most.
Tough to let go the one you love, but doin the right things and choice will never make u regret in the future.
Good luck. Hope your gf realy know what shes doin. I hope she grow up and learn her lesson. This guy will somehow leave her one day cuz hes a playboy and doesnt know what is right or wrong. -
Ahkeat, you don't have to ask her why she is dragging. You need to ask yourself why you are dragging on.Originally posted by ahkeat:we're tgt the day before i enlist. during the stay in period she was with me all the time. when now im staying out, these happens.. she was able to be with me for that period which i think was very nice.. but now.. hai..
that 3rd party even told her that he doesnt mind being the 'mistress' as long as she dun chase him away.. that really makes me angry that it comes out from the mouth of a 25 year old.. dun they have moral value nowadays.. hai
i asked her why are u dragging like this and she said she dun have the courage to to break up with me or him... that is so sad =( -
-
u know why she is dragging ?
Bcuz she doesnt want to be recognised as a gal who abandon her bf bcuz of another guy.. she wants a clean name..
It is u who's dragging on..
Break up already... there really is no point already..
this kind of gal really useless .. already got bf then wanna have another guy then now duno what to do.. real shyt la.. -
A girl who wants a clean name, don't do this kinda stuff.Originally posted by Zarks:u know why she is dragging ?
Bcuz she doesnt want to be recognised as a gal who abandon her bf bcuz of another guy.. she wants a clean name..
Unless she wants to come across as cheap. -
NS. IMO worst possible time to have a relationship.
Anyway, at the very point you asked her to pick between you and him, it's over already. Even though she picked you at the end, but it's not always the case that her heart is with you. She's confused, whether to be with you or 'him'.
When she said that she still wants to keep him as friends, actually she means that 'he''s still a special someone in her heart; not wanting to lose him.
Part of the reason that her heart is shaken is because 'he' came into the picture as a more superior species as compared to you. Looking at the financial factor, 'he' has the upper hand, and most lady wants to be with the one whose financial is rich and stable.
[By the way, you didn't lose to yourself; You've lost to Science - The evolutionary rule of "Survival of the fittest and Natural Selection of Superior Traits".]
And when she say she can't reciprocate you love anymore, it means that she's tired and exhausted already. It seems like she've lost the fuel that keep your relationship works. She needs to move on, so are you.
She valve and cherish both you and 'him', and doesn't want you both to get hurt.
My advice: Break off with her, and be her close friend. Always be there for her. Wait till the saga cool down, and observe the situation again and woo her from there. -
even if u have her all to urself now, do u think she'll still be the same?
just move on with ur life.
have more confidence in urself, and not blame NS.
it's really not NS fault dat all dis is happening, it's actually the mentality of the couple and the couple's peers.
if the couple's peers don't say things like "wah, goin NS liao ah? got gf or not? later u stay in she run hw?" u think u'll feel insecure?
have some confidence bro...
my gf sticked with me throughout my NS life bcos i refuse to hear things like dat and have confidence in both her n myself.
i'm not sayin dat u dun have faults.
go think abt wat u've done to her b4.
it's not only one person's fault dat the r/s fails.
it's always somethin dat triggers and snowballed.
for now just live a single life, worry nothin but urself, ur family and ur career.
u're still young. -
Sometimes woman likes to act stupid/bimboish. Because we can get away with it.Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:NS. IMO worst possible time to have a relationship.
Anyway, at the very point you asked her to pick between you and him, it's over already. Even though she picked you at the end, but it's not always the case that her heart is with you. She's confused, whether to be with you or 'him'.
She valve and cherish both you and 'him', and doesn't want you both to get hurt.
My advice: Break off with her, and be her close friend. Always be there for her. Wait till the saga cool down, and observe the situation again and woo her from there.
Sometimes, we tell two men the same thing, because we get double the returns.
She probably say she picked TS and told the other guy she picked him.
The only great excuse she can come up with is that she "don't want to hurt anyone."
Perhaps TS should grow some balls and have a man to man talk with the 25 yo guy. -
even if TS really have balls and meet the guy. the conclusion is still the same..
the decision is decided by the gal.. sometimes i think we must strive to get what is ours.. but think bout it.. if the gal already have dilemma, i dun think balls to balls would do anything different.. its all up to the gal.. -
Blardie hell! Why nowadays got so many 23-25yr old guys on friendster got car randomly pm girls hu got bf and chase them. Somemore these buggers are damn blardie irritating la!
My gf got loads of these guys pming her and at least a few so far fit ur description. Somemore I'm going NS in abt a few months time arghh. TS i understand how u feel abt that random guy totally. So far my gf n I have had much entertainment with these guys but lately they just seem to get more and more annoying. Currently there's one that is also trying to pull her away from me insisting that she n i wun last...
Sorry for hijacking ur thread TS, just thought i could share with u and help u vent ur frustration over these random 25yr olds with cars on friendster. -
Originally posted by sprakster:Blardie hell! Why nowadays got so many 23-25yr old guys on friendster got car randomly pm girls hu got bf and chase them. Somemore these buggers are damn blardie irritating la!
My gf got loads of these guys pming her and at least a few so far fit ur description. Somemore I'm going NS in abt a few months time arghh. TS i understand how u feel abt that random guy totally. So far my gf n I have had much entertainment with these guys but lately they just seem to get more and more annoying. Currently there's one that is also trying to pull her away from me insisting that she n i wun last...
Sorry for hijacking ur thread TS, just thought i could share with u and help u vent ur frustration over these random 25yr olds with cars on friendster.
-
most of the time i see in the local scene, if a couple breaks up.. thats it..its really hard to get back tgt.
of cos i got the balls to talk to him but she wont let me to. and im not so cheap to sneak up to her phone n check for his number. its just not right.
i wan to move on.. i wan to just say lets break up. but those beautiful memories reap me apart whenever i think abt it.. hai..give me a punch so i'll think properly..zzz -
I think her heart has changed. What can you do to salvage the relationship ?
Thing happens and perhaps both of you are not meant to be. It is really nobody's fault here cos feelings cannot be controlled. It just happens that the new guy is there at the right place at the right time when she needs someone to lean on the most. Perhaps she is not mature enuff and strong-willed in her heart for you. Perhaps the love that both of you have isn't strong enough to withstand external intrusion. Since this has shown that the love can't be tested, then just forget it.
Quoted: "She was numb about you and him". I am guessing that she had been battling her emotion over you and him and come to a point of time that she became sianz about it. I don't think she deliberately wanting to cheat on you. I also guessed that she had accidentally fall in love with there third guy.
Yeah whatever it is, decide on some thing that lessen the pain for both of you. Yeah, can you stand her talking to there guy infront of you when she is with u? Perhaps, she will realise you are the one she love... just Perhaps