what have i done?
-
now its not about me, its totally serious.
broke up, wanted to be frens, having sweet memories. but i wrote her a book, the biggest mistake of my life.
i wrote the good memories and the bad. the times we quarrelled. the times we had fun. and sorry, i know i m gross but i included details on bed. but i did not dedicate an entire section to it, juz a paragraph, the rest were just about our dates and our fun. it was like 10-12 pages of innocent acts, but 1-2 paragraphs of...explicit content.
and our tattoo, i mentioned it. i mentioned clearly our tattoo.
and...her mom saw the book. told her she hates my ex.
the ex is angry with me for not telling her the book was personal. she blamed me for not being discreet. if i knew her mom wud see, i wud tell her rite? and... all the while her mom never sees her stuff, its totally unexpected. i din expect her mom to see, i din expect her to leave it on the table, but i blame myself for writing such stuff. usually, she enjoys talking about it, but it was my mistake to write it down. i know i m a bastard for what happened, now this.
i really feel stupid,why do i do things tt cause her downfall? im really her curse? i wanna get out of her life now but she is crying saying how much she hates me. it pains me to not be able to hear her problems. im the cause.
i regret it. why did i do it? i dont know what to call my frens to advice her.
-
It is good that she left u. Pls leave her alone. If u really love her, don't even thinking of going back and trying to reconcile with her.. Just leave her alone. It is the best u can give her, if u really sorry for yrself and want to make up to her. Don't get near her.
U really hurt her too much.
-
I hate to say this, but you seemed to have brought her more trouble than she could possibly handle.
Perhaps a silent period and some distance would do good for both of you.
-
Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
now its not about me, its totally serious.
broke up, wanted to be frens, having sweet memories. but i wrote her a book, the biggest mistake of my life.
i wrote the good memories and the bad. the times we quarrelled. the times we had fun. and sorry, i know i m gross but i included details on bed. but i did not dedicate an entire section to it, juz a paragraph, the rest were just about our dates and our fun. it was like 10-12 pages of innocent acts, but 1-2 paragraphs of...explicit content.
and our tattoo, i mentioned it. i mentioned clearly our tattoo.
and...her mom saw the book. told her she hates my ex.
the ex is angry with me for not telling her the book was personal. she blamed me for not being discreet. if i knew her mom wud see, i wud tell her rite? and... all the while her mom never sees her stuff, its totally unexpected. i din expect her mom to see, i din expect her to leave it on the table, but i blame myself for writing such stuff. usually, she enjoys talking about it, but it was my mistake to write it down. i know i m a bastard for what happened, now this.
i really feel stupid,why do i do things tt cause her downfall? im really her curse? i wanna get out of her life now but she is crying saying how much she hates me. it pains me to not be able to hear her problems. im the cause.
i regret it. why did i do it? i dont know what to call my frens to advice her.
why dun u leave her alone in the first place though? u know that is what you supposed to do but u did not then now in the end u are here asking for advice. just leave her alone can??? can a not -
First of all why include explicit content in hard solid book?
Rule of thumb- never write these things down 'cause you know somehow people would find it.
You're like the many who've asked advices around here (which unfortunately included the long ago me). Stop dwelling on the past. Encapsulating all the memories down into a book is but a manifestation of a secret desire to reconcile. As is your seemingly innocent to "be friends".
You've scarred her the moment you hit her and you know it.
Do both of you a favour now and remain out-of-contact while you recollect yourself and she herself.The above has been said many times by numerous people in your previous thread and yet you continue, apparently not heeding this particular advice. So why post here if you don't heed the advice many had posted?
Cool down now and forget about trying to contact her. You simply cannot handle the situation now (as what you've said above) and she does not deserve to suffer any of the mistakes you may make trying to handle the situation (again, what you've said above).
-
What done is done. It is just plain unlucky that the mother discovers the book.
-
yeah. i dont wan to hurt her, but i have no feeling.
in fact i dont care, she kept asking why m i so calm and whether this was pre planned.
all i know is that i did not expect her to. now she wanna burn my stuff and touch up the tattoo.....hmm a bit too much for something out of my control.
-
Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
yeah. i dont wan to hurt her, but i have no feeling.
in fact i dont care, she kept asking why m i so calm and whether this was pre planned.
all i know is that i did not expect her to. now she wanna burn my stuff and touch up the tattoo.....hmm a bit too much for something out of my control.
she can do whatever she wants. just leave her alone from now on. -
of cuz she can. why not? whether i leave her alone, is up to me. i know. but i dont know how to handle it. i think juz leave it alone would be better.
-
Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
of cuz she can. why not? whether i leave her alone, is up to me. i know. but i dont know how to handle it. i think juz leave it alone would be better.
yeah leave it alone then. -
i dont know whether im sadistic but im dead to her pleas. now she tell me to mitigate the situation by telling her mom we did it...like few times only...and stuff... but then again being honest is what we should be...somehow....
i dont know but she has fallen and i am given a golden opportunity to take revenge. its jus....i dont know, the guilty conscience, can juz tell her mom everything and tts it for her.
-
Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
i dont know whether im sadistic but im dead to her pleas. now she tell me to mitigate the situation by telling her mom we did it...like few times only...and stuff... but then again being honest is what we should be...somehow....
i dont know but she has fallen and i am given a golden opportunity to take revenge. its jus....i dont know, the guilty conscience, can juz tell her mom everything and tts it for her.
well.. in a way it's ur fault though so you have no right to take revenge though. just leave her alone though. in the first u should not have written it anyway though. but u did so can u just stop ur nonsense n be mature just for once? -
Give her a break... and give yourself a chance to rest for a period of time first....
-
Originally posted by rlsh07:
well.. in a way it's ur fault though so you have no right to take revenge though. just leave her alone though. in the first u should not have written it anyway though. but u did so can u just stop ur nonsense n be mature just for once?
what i write, i have my own reasons. true that you may say this way, but i have my own way of doing things too. if i din write EVERYthing, would it get through to her? u wan a relationship not here nor there? tts seriously not what i want. put urself in my shoes, everything means everything.but that din get tru the filter.
-
Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
what i write, i have my own reasons. true that you may say this way, but i have my own way of doing things too. if i din write EVERYthing, would it get through to her? u wan a relationship not here nor there? tts seriously not what i want. put urself in my shoes, everything means everything.but that din get tru the filter.
if u have ur way of doing things, why bother writing here to get advice then? if u dun event want to heed our advice though. why do u want to get through to her in the first place? dun u knoe that ur relationship is already over the minute u hit her, so get over it ok? well.. if i put urself in ur shoes, i would leave the girl alone n avoid hurting any further. if u really love someone, you have to know when to let go lo. -
like they say, advice is advice, listen and heed which you deem fit, yet not be biased.
-
I just pity your gf.
-
wat's done cannot be undone lor.
the mum also din handle this matter maturely.
-
i guess the forumnites are just simply advising you from a third person POV. someone who can see things out of the box. you're so cooped up in this little dimension of yours where all you think is just trying to get things up and running again. i know you're afraid of losing her but the situation is now not in your favour you've got to understand this. you know it actually becomes irritable when you're persistently bugged by someone whom you don't want to see?
please do yourself and her a favour. stop seeing her for the moment. give her a cool off period. you've already told her you'll wait. you've done your part. its just up to her whether she's willing to give it another go. sometimes, what you really need is time. time to heal all wounds.
and i hope you do put yourself in your girl's shoes. think about what is she going through. life is miserable enough as it is when she actually gave her 'virginity' to you. if she was one before she did it with u tt is. which girl in the right mind wouldn't get angry when she heard her bf had casual sex before getting tgt with her? and you punched your girl? if i were to punch your face right now you tell me by tomorrow you forgive me and be all buddy buddy again? i believe your message of remorse and regret have gotten through to her clearly. so for now, please just leave her alone for the time being.
-
Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
like they say, advice is advice, listen and heed which you deem fit, yet not be biased.
You just want to be friends with her, yet you continue to do things beyond a friend. You want to "wait" for her, yet you continuously do things to rush her. You post in AA, yet whatever we say just bounces off you like a dart against the solid wall.
Forgive us for not suggesting things your way. 'Cause last I checked, your way involves punching your girlfriend and writing down your sexual escapades with her in a book. And in case you haven't noticed, both of it BACKFIRED terribly.
Good luck doing things your way.
-
must you whine at everything that happens?
-
aiyoh... you again...
see laa.. next time beat girl again la...
-
i think you cant make up your mind...you want to be friends with her or your agenda is to get back together with her?
one moment you were saying broke up, wanted to be friends etc...and then the next moment you write her a book of the memories and saying if you dont write the book, would it get through her? what message are you trying to convey to her? that you cherish the memories and hope to get back together again?
you say you have your own way of doing things, but has your own way of doing things really helped your situation? it only makes things worse than they were. if you still choose to do things the way you want it and dont want to heed advice, no point coming back here telling us how you regret doing this and that and ask for advice here. in the end, you still go back to do things your own way.
-
Seph,
You have your revenge, now it's time to move on.
And what you have done... merely puts the last nail on your coffin and hammered it tight shut.
Now that you have your gratification.
You have also inevitably helped her moved on, away from you. Thank God.
Before you do this to humiliate her, she was wavering between giving you a chance and not forgiving your abusive actions.
Now, you have confirmed a " Good riddence" status in her heart.
Job well done.
-
Your role is over; you had your entrance and now is your exit. If you love her, let her go without a single worry.
Even your thought of vengeance is absurd; you were the one who used violence on her, weren't you? So what 'revenge' is there to speak of?
You wrote her a book to satisfy your own selfish needs; in hope of befriending her to make yourself feel better. The plan, however backfired, and landed her in distress. So tell me, are you happier now?
Young man, let me share with you one of life's greatest lesson.
"If the bitterness comes from someone, you learn grace and forgiveness. If the bitterness comes from yourself, you learn to let go."