to continue or leave it as it is between both of us?
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I am starting to like a classmate in university here in US. both of us are from singapore, while she is starting her first year here and a few more to go, I am only here on exchange for 1.5years.
right now, I feel I am starting to get jealous and disturbed when mutual friends join us when we(me, her and her "gf") are doing stuffs in the library and they join in and take up space. I know 1 of the mutual friends is trying to get to know her but he does not know of my stand.
our backgrounds are quite different, her family is far more significantly well off than mine. Some of her social habits are distinctly different from mine, she's a party animal and smokes but I am neither. Yet instead of maintaining the distance between us, I seem to be wanting to encourage or back her habits like buying her cigs. Something extremely not possible with other friends.
if you ask how close are we, I say not that close as of now. Though she does ask me things that you ask close friends and not casual friends like whether is she cavalier in her love attitude. Normally that starts setting off alarms in me, I mean there is no smoke without a fire.
She also does tell me how much she dislikes her gf sticking to her like glue, though she openly behaves close to that gf. she once told me her 'benchmark' for a close friend and apparently, I haven't reached that stage yet, not entirely surprising since I only know her for 1 month.
Despite several alarm bells ringing inside me, such as knowing that some people remarked that she is cavalier in love, her recent breakup(assume amicable) with her sg BF, difference in social habits and that I have my studies to be concerned with, I still can't put her down.
I am uncertain whether she knows about my affections towards her but I don't rule out the possibility towards it.
To me this is like approaching the red lights at the junction, to chiong or not to chiong.
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hmm... maybe u can start by reaching the "close friends" level first? anyway its gonna be tough even if u two get together since u will be there for 1.5yrs only and she's got much longer..
try to be really good friends and stuff.. see how it goes from there..
another thing.. don't read too much into her actions and stuff 1st.. later u tink too much den will low morale more...
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take it slow man. just be friends first.
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Unless a girl literally say "I like you", any signs or suggestions are merely smoke : P
I think you should take the chance to know her better...
a r/s that gets off successfully but on the wrong foot might be doomed to fail...
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you having a crush on her, definitely. Most imptly, you are alone overseas. And when a decent-looking gal comes along, sparks fly(could be one sided)
think of the insecurity/jealousy you have when other guys joined in your "outing", and you are not even her bf yet......so if you really so lucky to get her as yr stead now, what will you do when you come back singapore while she is all alone there? Are you going to check on her everyday to see if whichever guy is with her? OMG...that is so taxing on her and you..
to be truthful to you, it will not work out..but if just wana board the bus without paying the ticket, probably still can consider..
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which part of US you in? I am in NY! didnt see any Singaporean here at all.
What I suggest is.. if you never try, how you know. Let it be a competition lo...who gets her heart wins.
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You havn't even start.. and you have admitted defeat already ?
Other than losing a little bit of your dignity and your male ego if you don't get what you want.. what else have you gotta lose ?
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Ok. Spent some time thinking about the scenario and basically decided not to "proceed"
Realised that it most likely wont work out given the difference in time both will spend here, just like some have adviced.
Since, there was no start, nothing to feel sad about.
But her gf recently asked if I actually liked her and said if I do, (not the main point but) she would help me. Of course, there is no way to tell whether she asked this for her personal consumption or for the girl I liked.
How honest should I be with her gf? Tell her yes I did like her then now not, say nothing or just say I did but dont tell her the current feelings?
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dude ... believe me, move on ....
she's a lost cause ....
the last thing Singaporean girls in places like the US want ...... are Singaporean boys ......
they are too busy sampling the other species of men around the planet, they want to see the world ... while you, who've just wasted 2 years of your life defending the little red dot, only want to make up for lost time .... singkie girls and singkies are already on different planets ! ....
she just dumped her sg boyfriend, isn't that telling you something ? ....
why not do singapore proud, bring back and ang moh babe to enrich our gene pool instead ? ....
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Originally posted by Blackknights.tan:
Ok. Spent some time thinking about the scenario and basically decided not to "proceed"
Realised that it most likely wont work out given the difference in time both will spend here, just like some have adviced.
Since, there was no start, nothing to feel sad about.
But her gf recently asked if I actually liked her and said if I do, (not the main point but) she would help me. Of course, there is no way to tell whether she asked this for her personal consumption or for the girl I liked.
How honest should I be with her gf? Tell her yes I did like her then now not, say nothing or just say I did but dont tell her the current feelings?
just be honest with the friend la.. wait she help help help den u say u dunwan, u lose the friend too lol..
and actually, help not much help one la.. u can press the bull's head into the water, but if the bull dun drink, oso no use one, drown only..
so if u decide to give up, den do a clean one.. make up ur mind to be just friends and stick to that..
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Originally posted by Blackknights.tan:
Ok. Spent some time thinking about the scenario and basically decided not to "proceed"
Realised that it most likely wont work out given the difference in time both will spend here, just like some have adviced.
Since, there was no start, nothing to feel sad about.
But her gf recently asked if I actually liked her and said if I do, (not the main point but) she would help me. Of course, there is no way to tell whether she asked this for her personal consumption or for the girl I liked.
How honest should I be with her gf? Tell her yes I did like her then now not, say nothing or just say I did but dont tell her the current feelings?
"True Love don't run smooth" - It depends on how much you want her in your life actually.
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You're thinking too far, since you've only known her for 1 month. To feel jealousy at such an early stage may signal a trait of being possessive. Take care.
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Originally posted by xavier1979:
You’re thinking too far, since you’ve only known her for 1 month.
To feel jealousy at such an early stage may signal a trait of being possessive. Take care.
I know. which is why my own alarm bells started to ring, realised that afterall, it's her life, she can do what she wants. Known her for 2months plus already. Typo above.
Thanks.Another thing is, I know that she goes out alot with her friends, often I feel abit "concerned". Although I decided that I am not going after her and it's her call to do what she wants, sometimes I simply feel concerned, a little too concerned. I get a little upset or down when she turns down my invitation over for a dinner or walking out of hostel to get some food.
No doubt I still hold a torch for her despite knowing our relationship would be unstable.
Note that I did not mention whether she will reciprocrate my feelings, this is because it is something I cannot change so I base my decisions on what I can control. I am not assuming that she will or will not reciprocrate or not. It is not the focus as yet.
Think I should further widen my social circle to know ppl and forget about her. haha.
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my suggestion is finish yr studies first, as for chiong red light, we got geyland here for you to chiong, after u graduate, then chiong ok.
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you should just shut up and study.