Is this being selfish?
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I've grown tired of being there for people, when seriously, no one would be there for me.
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noted
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well, takecare and try to be more socialable...
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seek solace in being of assistance to ppl.. dun be too upset that no one is there for u, because while u are listening to ppl and helping them, u are keeping urself occupied.. learn from others.. it gets depressing that when u are lonely, no one cares, but that is when u must stay strong, its the periods of darkness dat inner strength plays a part..
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you need to relax and read some buddha scriptures
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Originally posted by HyperionDCZ:
you need to relax and read some buddha scriptures
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I think having the compassionate to help others is a noble inspiration but compassion shouldn't be incurring suffering for yourself. Doctors, for instance, can relieve their patient's suffering without experiencing the same disease in themselves. If we suffer too much, we may be crushed and unable to help.
There are certain people with abundance of energy to help others and they are some people who hasn't develop there kind of energy and wisdom.
I don't think you should feel guilty and sort of blaming yourself. Sometime, we need to discern the kind of help we are giving in a situation. Does it required us constantly to be there for them? What kind of help does they really need? Can this problem be solved by themselves? etc.
You probably need to learn to seek solace into friends. If you don't have that particular group of friends, then cultivate new friendships. It is healthier to have a certain balance of give and take.
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Only be there for a person who is worth it ..
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Originally posted by Ecko_Geek:
I've grown tired of being there for people, when seriously, no one would be there for me.
Dont worry. There is no great reward without greater sacrifice.
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does it really matters?
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Originally posted by Ecko_Geek:
I've grown tired of being there for people, when seriously, no one would be there for me.
You chose to be there for those people. if those people ain't those real friends, of course won't be there for you in return. you shouldn't seek the equal in return for whatever you have put in. He/She might be your best of best friends. But He/She might have someone else as their Best of Best. so, naturally you won't get the equal return.The only thing you should do is always be there for yourself. Love yourself first before you love another. Not to the extend of being selfish or what though.. don't know how to explain..
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Originally posted by Ecko_Geek:
I've grown tired of being there for people, when seriously, no one would be there for me.
If you are really tired of it, stop doing it.No one is forcing you to do it.
Being there for someone should be something that you want to do, not something that you are forced to do.
For my case, I would be there for people i care about, for the people i love. the rest of the world can just buzz off
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u feel used and abused rite?
im like tat too and i know i shdnt be selfish, so i try to help or be there for those who reli deserved it.
aiyah, think another way lor.
tat u're doing good for urself spiritually.
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Maybe compassion is in my nature. But will getting rid of it will be a reason for beign selfish? I know that sometimes in life, u have to be selfish sometimes.
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Originally posted by Ecko_Geek:
Maybe compassion is in my nature. But will getting rid of it will be a reason for beign selfish? I know that sometimes in life, u have to be selfish sometimes.
if u r compassionate and willing to help pple, dun expect any return ya, otherwise u are not compassionate at all.To give but not to take
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Originally posted by Ecko_Geek:
Maybe compassion is in my nature. But will getting rid of it will be a reason for beign selfish? I know that sometimes in life, u have to be selfish sometimes.
It depends. There are also different level of selfishness.Anyway.. if u can be there for ur friend, then be there for ur friend. Don't harbour any high expectation. On the other hand, if there friend has been constantly bugging you for pathetic little matters, then you should draw a line if it has became a harassement.
U should also find friends who u can seek solace in. However, don't treat those friends as "emotional dumping ground". You will end up losing them too.
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Well
Learn to say no when someone ask for you help...
Some people don't need your help, but you wanna help them...
Some people really need your help, then you help them...Cheers~