Is it my fault?
-
I am girl who is in 3rd year of polytechnic studies... I have a part-time job that earns me good money... So as you have read, I am super busy...
The thing is my BF thinks that i am not committed to the r/s because I dont spend enough time with him... I go out with him on most sundays.( sometimes go out with friends)... For the rest of the week I am busy with either school or work....
One more thing... He's very possesive, any time of the day he would call me for no apparent reason...And when he sees a guy talk to me, he would be very aggressive in the way he talks to that guy... WTH????
He's also studying but not working,,, So when we go out, i want to eat in a more expensive restaurant(can afford), he would drag me to the nearest coffee shop to eat... I dont mind paying for his meal...He could treat me for the movie or something... Everything he wants to pay...
Is sg that hot ? Every where he goes, he wears T-shirt, shorts and sandals... Nothing else... Even when meeting my parents...
I am a person with big dreams... And when i share my thoughts on how to persue these dreams, he ALWAYS puts me down!!!
We have been dating for 2 years BTW... Last night, he called and said that our r/s has strained... I thought everything was fine... And he blamed everything on me... He said that I should focus more on him...
How? What should I do? Is it really my fault that he feels that way?
-
You shld continue with your dreams....
Your bf still haven't go for NS and out in the society to work....
In short, my suggestion, dump him.
-
He needs to broaden his horizons instead of being a stick in the mud... He's acting like a MCP. Being a relationship is exclusive but dat does not mean no communication with the opp gender.
-
wow.. your bf doesn't even wear jeans? he's so sloppy.. hmm.. you should find a working boyfriend or something.
plus points
1. at least wear office wear 5 days a week. weekends either appear in polo tee, berms and shoes. or shirt and jeans. depend on occasions.
2. got income, sure will not mind eating at restaurants on the only weekend you free for him.
it'll be worse when he get in NS when the gap grows bigger.. your career fly high, he'll put u down further..
-
Personally guys who have just completed NS, you will notice that their mindset is vastly different.
-
If something's not right somewhere, he's probably not the one.
Jokes aside, I'm rather shocked you still managed to think that 'everything was fine' after he confronted you. What even more flabbergasting is that you could still question if it's really your fault.
A love relationship is fundamentally a recipocal emotional relationship between partners, who besides lovers are also best friends. The couple should learn and grow together; spurring each other on when the going gets tough. Also, it's a lot of acceptance - you know your relationship is doomed to fail when he can't even accept your lifestyle and you, his dress code!
Do you want to date a guy who: (1) doesn't respect and accept you as his equal (2) put you down all the time (3) is jealous and possessive - Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous
(4) doesn't share the same vision and dream as you - how can two walk together unless they agree.If your answer to the above question is an unwavering yes, then by all means go ahead.
-
change boy friend. He's stifling you.
-
yes...it's your fault for not leaving him....your fault...
-
Dreams conflict within u two...!! Possessive i see thats a problem ...u need to talk him...n discuss it deep...!! But the others r not problems...!! Those r inside u ehh..!! So just ask urself...u can endure more...!!! Or losing him!
-
I have a part-time job that earns me good money.
are u a whore?
-
Originally posted by White_SoulReaper:
I am girl who is in 3rd year of polytechnic studies... I have a part-time job that earns me good money... So as you have read, I am super busy...
The thing is my BF thinks that i am not committed to the r/s because I dont spend enough time with him... I go out with him on most sundays.( sometimes go out with friends)... For the rest of the week I am busy with either school or work....
One more thing... He's very possesive, any time of the day he would call me for no apparent reason...And when he sees a guy talk to me, he would be very aggressive in the way he talks to that guy... WTH????
He's also studying but not working,,, So when we go out, i want to eat in a more expensive restaurant(can afford), he would drag me to the nearest coffee shop to eat... I dont mind paying for his meal...He could treat me for the movie or something... Everything he wants to pay...
Is sg that hot ? Every where he goes, he wears T-shirt, shorts and sandals... Nothing else... Even when meeting my parents...
I am a person with big dreams... And when i share my thoughts on how to persue these dreams, he ALWAYS puts me down!!!
We have been dating for 2 years BTW... Last night, he called and said that our r/s has strained... I thought everything was fine... And he blamed everything on me... He said that I should focus more on him...
How? What should I do? Is it really my fault that he feels that way?
wow wat a loser bf u got... dont worry gal, u did perfectly fine... instead its ur bf acting such a loser... being so posessive, cant dress up n put u down... what u should do? 1st tell him to hv some ambition... 2nd, u reali gotta leave him cos hes stopping u from reaching ur heights.... no bf/gf should prevent their partner from achieving their ambition... + tis sort of guy who has no ambition n cares more abt dating wun suit u... 3rd, continue wif ur parttime job... $$$ is impt nowadays n its difficult to earn... its gd u hv awake from the kids world... work hard + work smart n u can hv the chance of reaching ur heights... -
Originally posted by fatone:
I have a part-time job that earns me good money.
are u a whore?
dun be so mean... another better term is social escort.
dun laugh.. singapore DO have social escort agencies... do a quick google search. most r stated singaporeans (chinese).
got read newspaper article b4... some poly/jc girls do it... even undergraduates do it... -
Dreams ?
Be realistic . Dreams hardly come true .
If not why do people call it dreams ?
-
Originally posted by Karma88:
Dreams ?
Be realistic . Dreams hardly come true .
If not why do people call it dreams ?
Dreams hardly come true because people hardly believe in them. Believe, and they will.
-
Originally posted by White_SoulReaper:
I am a person with big dreams... And when i share my thoughts on how to persue these dreams, he ALWAYS puts me down!!!
We have been dating for 2 years BTW... Last night, he called and said that our r/s has strained... I thought everything was fine... And he blamed everything on me... He said that I should focus more on him...
How? What should I do? Is it really my fault that he feels that way?
I agree with the general sentiment above =)
If its all "YOUR" fault dump him la. So ego, MCP. BF should be supportive of your dreams. If he wishes you to be in his shadow so his male ego can survive, dump him. You deserve a more confident and caring guy than this =)
-
White_SoulReaper, you should know that all the suggestions given about how you should deal with your relationship, these are just the opinions of each individual.. Please don't break up with with him after being "psycho-ed" by what we say here in this thread.. This decision should be made based on what you yourself think, you know..
It all depends on how much you treasure this relationship with him, how far are you willing to go to tolerate till he comes to his senses.. He is definitely in the wrong, he needs to know that it IS a fact that he's in the wrong.. How he comes to his senses, I can't tell you how. Maybe the others can help suggest?
If you can't tolerate anymore, then you can consider breaking up with him in search of a better relationship..
It's all up to you..
-
"I am girl who is in 3rd year of polytechnic studies... I have a part-time job that earns me good money... So as you have read, I am super busy...
The thing is my BF thinks that i am not committed to the r/s because I dont spend enough time with him... I go out with him on most sundays.( sometimes go out with friends)... For the rest of the week I am busy with either school or work....
One more thing... He's very possesive, any time of the day he would call me for no apparent reason...And when he sees a guy talk to me, he would be very aggressive in the way he talks to that guy... WTH????
He's also studying but not working,,, So when we go out, i want to eat in a more expensive restaurant(can afford), he would drag me to the nearest coffee shop to eat... I dont mind paying for his meal...He could treat me for the movie or something... Everything he wants to pay...
Is sg that hot ? Every where he goes, he wears T-shirt, shorts and sandals... Nothing else... Even when meeting my parents...
I am a person with big dreams... And when i share my thoughts on how to persue these dreams, he ALWAYS puts me down!!!
We have been dating for 2 years BTW... Last night, he called and said that our r/s has strained... I thought everything was fine... And he blamed everything on me... He said that I should focus more on him...
How? What should I do? Is it really my fault that he feels that way?"
What is the matter with you?
You want him to be your husband?
You want him to be the father of your children?
Yes, its your fault he feels that way.
Because he is not compatible with you,
you are too good for him. That's why he is not happy.
He will destroy you, bring you down, and he will still not be happy.
Do you want the unhappy life many uncles and aunties go through just for marriage sake?
-
OF COURSE IT'S YOUR FAULT!
NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE, YOU SHOULD TRY STILL CONTACT HIM!!!!!
I GUESS YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DON'T KNOW THE FEELING OF WAITING AND WAITING FOR YOU SMSes.
I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY, BUT WHY CAN'T YOU SPEND SOME TIME AND SMS HIM? DO YOU KNOW HOW PAIN IS IT TO WAIT FOR YOUR SMS?
PLEASE TRY TO STAND IN YOUR BOYFRIEND'S SHOE!
IF THE GUY YOU LOVE DON'T CONTACT YOU FOR QUITE A LONG TIME, WILL YOU FEEL PAIN? THE FEELING IS WORST THAN LIVING!
AND IT'S YOUR HOT & COLD ACTION THAT LEADS TO HIS INSECURTIY.
APOLOGIES TO HIM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD DAMN IT. -
Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:
OF COURSE IT'S YOUR FAULT!
NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE, YOU SHOULD TRY STILL CONTACT HIM!!!!!
I GUESS YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DON'T KNOW THE FEELING OF WAITING AND WAITING FOR YOU SMSes.
I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY, BUT WHY CAN'T YOU SPEND SOME TIME AND SMS HIM? DO YOU KNOW HOW PAIN IS IT TO WAIT FOR YOUR SMS?
PLEASE TRY TO STAND IN YOUR BOYFRIEND'S SHOE!
IF THE GUY YOU LOVE DON'T CONTACT YOU FOR QUITE A LONG TIME, WILL YOU FEEL PAIN? THE FEELING IS WORST THAN LIVING!
AND IT'S YOUR HOT & COLD ACTION THAT LEADS TO HIS INSECURTIY.
APOLOGIES TO HIM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMN IT.Erm. Why is TS supposed to SMS him? Did her boyfriend requested her to do so and she broke her promise? You actually sound like her boyfriend or something.
But I would agree with you that the situation might have been better if TS could spend 5-10 mins each day with her boyfriend, or even a "Good Morning" and "Good Night" message would be good enough. TS, have you tried this yet?
-
Originally posted by LatecomerX:
Erm. Why is TS supposed to SMS him? Did her boyfriend requested her to do so and she broke her promise? You actually sound like her boyfriend or something.
But I would agree with you that the situation might have been better if TS could spend 5-10 mins each day with her boyfriend, or even a "Good Morning" and "Good Night" message would be good enough. TS, have you tried this yet?
Imagine everyday staring at the phone waiting for her to take the little initiative to SMS you, it turning me crazy. Every time I am the one who take the initiative to SMS her, and she seems to take it for granted. It's like 'one-sided' kind of thing, and it's terrible.
I believe in a relationship, both parties must contribute. If I am the only one who initiate the SMS, then what's the use of communication. What's more, I personally feel that Communication plays an important role in fostering good & healthy relationship.
Seems like TS is the one who like to Take, and didn't Give much. Even though you seems busy everyday, but couldn't you spare some time to SMS? I don't really know what you're really busy about. Are you really spending all time studying? Can't you squeeze some out to SMS?
Yes, I understand that you may be really busy.. but if you're so busy, then perhaps you can tell your boyfriend that you're busy and you're only able to give him an SMS when you're having your break time.
And regarding about the possessive part, I strongly believe it's because he's afraid to lose you. Afraid to lose, that's why he's holding on tighter. Can't you see this point?
When I read your post, I can tell that you're not very committ to this relationship. Really. Once a week, you think it's enough? Have you asked your boyfriend whether he feels it's enough or not.
Ok, about that part on he being bringing down your dream, I am on your side. Perhaps it's just his temper.
And about the dressing sense, perhaps you can go shopping with him and buy some new clothings.
About paying the money.. It's EGO you know? He wants some ego.
I didn't know such devoted guy still exist in this world.
I pity your boyfriend, and I pity myself. -
Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:
Imagine everyday staring at the phone waiting for her to take the little initiative to SMS you, it turning me crazy. Every time I am the one who take the initiative to SMS her, and she seems to take it for granted. It's like 'one-sided' kind of thing, and it's terrible.
I believe in a relationship, both parties must contribute. If I am the only one who initiate the SMS, then what's the use of communication. What's more, I personally feel that Communication plays an important role in fostering good & healthy relationship.
Seems like TS is the one who like to Take, and didn't Give much. Even though you seems busy everyday, but couldn't you spare some time to SMS? I don't really know what you're really busy about. Are you really spending all time studying? Can't you squeeze some out to SMS?
Yes, I understand that you may be really busy.. but if you're so busy, then perhaps you can tell your boyfriend that you're busy and you're only able to give him an SMS when you're having your break time.
And regarding about the possessive part, I strongly believe it's because he's afraid to lose you. Afraid to lose, that's why he's holding on tighter. Can't you see this point?
When I read your post, I can tell that you're not very committ to this relationship. Really. Once a week, you think it's enough? Have you asked your boyfriend whether he feels it's enough or not.
Ok, about that part on he being bringing down your dream, I am on your side. Perhaps it's just his temper.
And about the dressing sense, perhaps you can go shopping with him and buy some new clothings.
About paying the money.. It's EGO you know? He wants some ego.
I didn't know such devoted guy still exist in this world.
I pity your boyfriend, and I pity myself.Indeed, communication is a crucial factor in a healthy relationship. So did you tell your girlfriend that you would actually like her to send you a little message each day?
I think it's just that TS don't realize the great difference it can make if she sends a simple message to her boyfriend. But if the guy thinks it's something so important, instead of ranting it off, why not just let her know about it?
Possessive behaviour may not be caused by a weak relationship alone, but also one's low self-esteem and lack of trust in the other party. But since neither of us know how's TS' boyfriend like, we can't really assume whether the fault lies in TS or him.
And isn't one outing per week already good enough? Typically, an outing takes up half a day. To a final-year poly student who is also working part-time, I think that's quite a lot of time actually.
Regarding the money and the ego issue, man, if that Parn ever comes in and reads the posts here, she'll flame you and her boyfriend to no end. Scary yea, but no joke about this.
Anyway, to TS, if you don't mind going one step further for your guy, you can try to be considerate to him and organize outings that are wallet-friendly since he doesn't have a source of income yet other than just pocket money. It can be as simple as window shopping, or maybe a picnic at East Coast. You can still have your movie outings occasionally and even offer to pay for your own ticket, but when it comes to having meals, please go for somewhere affordable and allow him to foot the bill. If there's only one thing a guy can pay for for a girl he loves, it will not be her diamonds, her clothes, or her handbags, but her meals.
-
Originally posted by LatecomerX:
Indeed, communication is a crucial factor in a healthy relationship. So did you tell your girlfriend that you would actually like her to send you a little message each day?
I think it's just that TS don't realize the great difference it can make if she sends a simple message to her boyfriend. But if the guy thinks it's something so important, instead of ranting it off, why not just let her know about it?
Possessive behaviour may not be caused by a weak relationship alone, but also one's low self-esteem and lack of trust in the other party. But since neither of us know how's TS' boyfriend like, we can't really assume whether the fault lies in TS or him.
And isn't one outing per week already good enough? Typically, an outing takes up half a day. To a final-year poly student who is also working part-time, I think that's quite a lot of time actually.
Regarding the money and the ego issue, man, if that Parn ever comes in and reads the posts here, she'll flame you and her boyfriend to no end. Scary yea, but no joke about this.
Anyway, to TS, if you don't mind going one step further for your guy, you can try to be considerate to him and organize outings that are wallet-friendly since he doesn't have a source of income yet other than just pocket money. It can be as simple as window shopping, or maybe a picnic at East Coast. You can still have your movie outings occasionally and even offer to pay for your own ticket, but when it comes to having meals, please go for somewhere affordable and allow him to foot the bill. If there's only one thing a guy can pay for for a girl he loves, it will not be her diamonds, her clothes, or her handbags, but her meals.
possessive is a very ugly monster.... every1 should've their own space too... n possessiveness makes the r/s look ugly... -
cannot just listen to one side of story ... but... aiz... dump him
-
Originally posted by LatecomerX:
Indeed, communication is a crucial factor in a healthy relationship. So did you tell your girlfriend that you would actually like her to send you a little message each day?
I think it's just that TS don't realize the great difference it can make if she sends a simple message to her boyfriend. But if the guy thinks it's something so important, instead of ranting it off, why not just let her know about it?
Possessive behaviour may not be caused by a weak relationship alone, but also one's low self-esteem and lack of trust in the other party. But since neither of us know how's TS' boyfriend like, we can't really assume whether the fault lies in TS or him.
And isn't one outing per week already good enough? Typically, an outing takes up half a day. To a final-year poly student who is also working part-time, I think that's quite a lot of time actually.
Regarding the money and the ego issue, man, if that Parn ever comes in and reads the posts here, she'll flame you and her boyfriend to no end. Scary yea, but no joke about this.
Anyway, to TS, if you don't mind going one step further for your guy, you can try to be considerate to him and organize outings that are wallet-friendly since he doesn't have a source of income yet other than just pocket money. It can be as simple as window shopping, or maybe a picnic at East Coast. You can still have your movie outings occasionally and even offer to pay for your own ticket, but when it comes to having meals, please go for somewhere affordable and allow him to foot the bill. If there's only one thing a guy can pay for for a girl he loves, it will not be her diamonds, her clothes, or her handbags, but her meals.
I'm doing it already. Sending her short SMS each morning and night. Maybe to it, it's just another bored routine junk SMSes that she receive everyday.
-
yeah it's all ur fault.
ur bf is feeling inferior n yet u choose to ignore his needs.