Going out vs dating
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Any difference?
I'd like to know what the girls in this forum thinks. I know i've posted this in another section but i want to know more opinions about this.
You see, my girlfriend keeps insisting that her going out with her guy friends (1:1) is just nothing. And its not a date. Guy friends that she meets online and meets personally for the first time on that "date". We've had several arguments about this because to me going out with a guy is the same as having a date with him. Like i wouldn't spend time and effort if i don't like this person.
Now, its quite different if you've been friends with this guy friend of yours for a long time. That i can take and understand that its just a friendly date. But to go out with a total stranger just to meet him and be friends to him is something im not comfortable with.
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You mentioned that she is your gf? If thats the case, I feel she should not go out with other guys (any guys) on a 1:1 date.
You already voiced your concerns to her and yet she still do it, something could be wrong?
Possible reasons:
she like the guy
she's confused about herself
its just her character
But nonetheless, if you think its bothering you, just ask her to tell u the things she did with the guys she met. What is the guy's name, what they do, where they went etc... if she tells u honestly, then should not have any problem. But if she really care for u, maybe she should not do it anyway (meeting with any guys).
gd luck.
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Originally posted by doc4u:
Any difference?
I'd like to know what the girls in this forum thinks. I know i've posted this in another section but i want to know more opinions about this.
You see, my girlfriend keeps insisting that her going out with her guy friends (1:1) is just nothing. And its not a date. Guy friends that she meets online and meets personally for the first time on that "date". We've had several arguments about this because to me going out with a guy is the same as having a date with him. Like i wouldn't spend time and effort if i don't like this person.
Now, its quite different if you've been friends with this guy friend of yours for a long time. That i can take and understand that its just a friendly date. But to go out with a total stranger just to meet him and be friends to him is something im not comfortable with.
jz take wat she says la... whether its jz gng out or date its up to her to define... u wanna stay as her bf, jz let her know your concerns n hope she take the precautions... jz dun nag too much... she needs her own social life too.... -
Actually what really constitute a date? Does a mere one to one meet up with the opposite gender constitute a date?
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why not you too go out with a girl one-on-one?
she wouldnt understand something till it happens to her, i guess. -
Originally posted by sinicker:
why not you too go out with a girl one-on-one?
she wouldnt understand something till it happens to her, i guess.x2.
If she's unhappy about it, ask her why she do can, you do cannot.
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Reverse psychology will never work in a relationship, it will just sour it.
just my 2 cents.
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Originally posted by tranicide:
Reverse psychology will never work in a relationship, it will just sour it.
just my 2 cents.
I second that. -
i think it's just your relationship problem.
as a girl, i think i wont really do that to my bf (well, if i have one)
but idk. i might do that if my bf cant really meet my expectation.
but wait, if he cant meet my expectation, why would i want him to be my bf at the first place? lols.
but yeah, i think girls do need some space or a break from her bf.
it should be a good thing, coz if your gf do that to you, then i think your relationship will last quite long :)
but yeah idk.
girls are not complicated. we just need to be understood :)
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Why can't I go out with my ex bfs as friends even if I am in another relationship?
Why?
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Originally posted by tranicide:
Reverse psychology will never work in a relationship, it will just sour it.
just my 2 cents.
Agreed.I reckon that maybe you have to sit down with her and tell her calmly how you really feel about her going out with other guys. It's alright for your gf to go out with other guys who she has just befriended as long as she doesn't cross the line. As she needs her own social circle too. Friends can be either male or female. But you need to put your foot down on this matter if you feel uncomfortable about it and tell her how you feel but don't do anything rash if she doesn't really seem to bother. On one hand, it may seem that she don't really care about you but on the other it might just be her character. How old are the both of you? Age plays a factor too. if both of you are still teenagers, this sort of things do happen i suppose. =/
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I feel that you have every right to feel that way..
To me what she's doing is, on one hand saying she's with you, and on the other hand keeping her options open. Like if she happens to find someone better, she might go with him, if not, she can always fall back on the backup (i.e, you).
Either that, or it is really her nature, which in that case since you're not comfortable with that, that I suggest you reconsider your relationship again. You can't really change a person's character. -
pretty obvious ur girlfriend wants their dicks. just sayin
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i would suggest u break things off with her asap. before u catch her engaging in intercourse with him. Ive got a male friend who goes up frequently with a coursemate of his(girl) who has a bf, who is also in the same course. what happened ? they ended up having sex in his place without the bf knowing. the gf and bf are still together though. and my friend and the girl are still having sex. think twice op.
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I think you have the right to call her not to go meet like not so close guys-friends 1:1?
I personally feel that if your gf and the guy is like good friends. I can trust my gf, if she is saying she's meeting some guy she dunno very well, its like of weird? no?
If that's her char, i will suggest u to accept it or break off with her. Because her personality is hard to change.
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The funny thing is she seems not to understand or refusing to understand why i'm upset with this. I've told her many times that it was okay for her to "go out" with her guy friends that she knew before for which she had told me about. But to meet "friends" she met on the internet, etc.? 1:1 at that? My concern was number 1 i personally don't think its proper for her to do that knowing that she's involved with me and number 2, im just concerned for her safety. I mean those are strangers and bad things may happen.
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to me, tit for tat, an eye for an eye.
she dun see ur pt. might as well u go out with other gals (1:1)
see how she reacts to it. if she not comfy, den she's one selfish woman.
it's like she can go out with other guys 1 to 1, y cant u?
u've done enuff on ur part.
if those guys are PURELY FRIENDS, i tink it's ok. but like u said, new online "friends"?obviously she didnt tell them she's attached. if she did, it only shows that those online guys are out to challenge u.
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Originally posted by jgho83:
You mentioned that she is your gf? If thats the case, I feel she should not go out with other guys (any guys) on a 1:1 date.
You already voiced your concerns to her and yet she still do it, something could be wrong?
Possible reasons:
she like the guy
she's confused about herself
its just her character
But nonetheless, if you think its bothering you, just ask her to tell u the things she did with the guys she met. What is the guy's name, what they do, where they went etc... if she tells u honestly, then should not have any problem. But if she really care for u, maybe she should not do it anyway (meeting with any guys).
gd luck.
But that's the problem. She doesn't want me to ask questions. Those questions that you mentioned were all i wanted to know and i believe i should know.
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Thank you all for your input. I've come to realize that what you all said here is correct. I'm just trying to hold on to a relationship that's doomed from the beginning because only one party is serious and exerting enough effort to make it work. Yup Love can truly make one blind and oblivious of reality. Thanks a lot. You all have been a great help.
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Why cant one meet opposite sex one on one?? Wat's wrong with knowin more frenz??
Weird.
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close childhood buddies 1 to 1 maybe still acceptable
new frens found online n 1 to 1, not a gd idea
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Originally posted by RedizAlertz:
Why cant one meet opposite sex one on one?? Wat's wrong with knowin more frenz??
Weird.
I think you should scroll up and read carefully what the basic premise is before you call something weird.
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Originally posted by doc4u:
But that's the problem. She doesn't want me to ask questions. Those questions that you mentioned were all i wanted to know and i believe i should know.
Hey Doc4u
It was so much easier in the old days... either you were on or you were not. Its not about being selfish or anything, but being bf and gf impies a commitment to be exclusive, unless she wants an open relationship? So IMHO, I think there is something fishy, especially if she will not answer your questions. I'd say there are other fish in the sea... let the line loose on this one and go fishing again after a suitable time. She is too selfish and not worth it. Her basic character shows already by what she is doing. She does not respect the relationship and she does not treasure what you have.
I can understand having space and going out with other friends in a group, but one on one with a guy... ??? whom she has just met online...?????? what the??????!!!!!!
Call me old fashioned, but there are things that are just not right and she is currently doing something that IS NOT RIGHT. My two cents.
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TS, there is something called platonic relationship. Whenever you see a guy and a gal together does not mean they are dating. OMG!!! Loosen up please.
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Originally posted by Fantagf:
TS, there is something called platonic relationship. Whenever you see a guy and a gal together does not mean they are dating. OMG!!! Loosen up please.
Thank you for your input. But i really don't think you got my point. But thanks anyway.