Issues with myself. Need help changing them.
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Hi all.
I didn't want to use a clone account even though I know many of my friends, and those that dislike me surf SGF, cause I'm really sincere in changing myself.
I had an arguement with my best friend. And he asked me to change, first he said I should ask myself what to change and when I ask him, he said a whole lot of hurting words that are crude and harsh.
I told him I feel offended and I'm really sincere in changing but can would you mind using a less harsh tone? He said, this is the way he is if I don't like it than we be normal friends.
I told him, "hey I'm really sincere in changing, but please don't use so crude words can?"
I don't understand which part of my sentence sounds offensive and maybe it's due to him not feeling well today, but his way of speaking just gives me the feeling that he's venting out whatever unhappiness he has in him.
And one bad habit of mine is I like to say I love my friends alot, like I <3 xxx ah, etc etc and he says he hate that about me. He finds me ah gua-ish and being sissylike. Ok, is that something I should change too?
I don't know what to do now, my life's is in a big mess and now not having my best friend to lend his hand when I need support is something.. demoralising for me..
Can anyone advice me what to do please, or recommand some counselling centres that I can go for that is hopefully free.. I don't have alot of money to spare also.. And lastly is it very sissy to ask for help online.. I rarely see guys ask about friendship but to me I treasure friendship more than relationship cos they'll almost always last.. But this already make me start to lose faith in life and I'm really depress right now.. Just now almost want to take the razor from my cupboard but my mom saw me..
Thanks..
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when god gives you lemon, you find a new god.
when friends ask you to change, find a new friend.
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Originally posted by skythewood:
when god gives you lemon, you find a new god.
when friends ask you to change, find a new friend.
this one is very chim.
Why find new god?
Shouldn't I change for the better?
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when god gives you lemon, you make lemonade
when friends ask you change, _______________
fill in the blank
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Originally posted by skythewood:
when god gives you lemon, you make lemonade
when friends ask you change, _______________
fill in the blank
I'm not trying to sound rude but I really don't get what u mean sorry..
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I think that your friends find you a bit sissy and ah gua. Then change your behaviour.It is for your own good.because this behaviour is a bit disgusting and irritating.
Come up with way to change the behaviour. tell ur friends to help out.
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Originally posted by Sakuraflower:
I think that your friends find you a bit sissy and ah gua. Then change your behaviour.It is for your own good.because this behaviour is a bit disgusting and irritating.
Come up with way to change the behaviour. tell ur friends to help out.
did someone say ah gua?
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Errm. I dont really understand wads the issue?
Why your best friend has to change you and why do u have to change for them?
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Hello daigooro
when god gives you lemon, you find an apple and move on.
when friends ask you to change, change your underwear and find a new friend.
Hey man, I guess you are young and growing slowly in maturity. Maybe, slower than most of them of your age. It is okay to feel the way you do...cherishing friendship. But don't push your luck or you will get the shove.
You might be confused about your sexual inclination, liking your best friend to the extreme. It is still okay. It does not matter whether you are straight or gay or bi. Just don't be a sissy or ah kuah.
If you have a tight budget, I suggest that you can seek help from any doctor from polyclinic who will refer you to a psychologist for counselling session. Alternatively, contact any Family Service Centres in Singapore which can also help you to foster better ties with family members and friends!
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skythewood get lost.. you are not even helping him.. don't post things that are stupid get lost
Dude.. just how old are you in the first place?
I have a friend.. who is like gaylish all the time too..
After he got a girl he like he suddenly changes.. towards us he is like more straight now won't say gay things
maybe u need a girl u really love =) -
Originally posted by youyayu:
skythewood get lost.. you are not even helping him.. don't post things that are stupid get lost
Dude.. just how old are you in the first place?
I have a friend.. who is like gaylish all the time too..
After he got a girl he like he suddenly changes.. towards us he is like more straight now won't say gay things
maybe u need a girl u really love =)nope, you have the right to post stuff, so do I.
there's nothing wrong with being gay, there are hordes of gay people out there. when god give you lemon, you make lemonade. live the life you should live, not the life other wants you to live.
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Originally posted by kenzoshin:
Hey man, I guess you are young and growing slowly in maturity. Maybe, slower than most of them of your age. It is okay to feel the way you do...cherishing friendship. But don't push your luck or you will get the shove.
You might be confused about your sexual inclination, liking your best friend to the extreme. It is still okay. It does not matter whether you are straight or gay or bi.
My sentiments somewhat.
It's important to treasure friendships.
And equally important to treasure yourself.
It's a delicate balance TS needs to mull over, perhaps with the help of counselling.
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u seems young.... move on dude. friends are not everything...
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Originally posted by daigooro:
Hi all.
I didn't want to use a clone account even though I know many of my friends, and those that dislike me surf SGF, cause I'm really sincere in changing myself.
I had an arguement with my best friend. And he asked me to change, first he said I should ask myself what to change and when I ask him, he said a whole lot of hurting words that are crude and harsh.
I told him I feel offended and I'm really sincere in changing but can would you mind using a less harsh tone? He said, this is the way he is if I don't like it than we be normal friends.
I told him, "hey I'm really sincere in changing, but please don't use so crude words can?"
I don't understand which part of my sentence sounds offensive and maybe it's due to him not feeling well today, but his way of speaking just gives me the feeling that he's venting out whatever unhappiness he has in him.
And one bad habit of mine is I like to say I love my friends alot, like I <3 xxx ah, etc etc and he says he hate that about me. He finds me ah gua-ish and being sissylike. Ok, is that something I should change too?
I don't know what to do now, my life's is in a big mess and now not having my best friend to lend his hand when I need support is something.. demoralising for me..
Can anyone advice me what to do please, or recommand some counselling centres that I can go for that is hopefully free.. I don't have alot of money to spare also.. And lastly is it very sissy to ask for help online.. I rarely see guys ask about friendship but to me I treasure friendship more than relationship cos they'll almost always last.. But this already make me start to lose faith in life and I'm really depress right now.. Just now almost want to take the razor from my cupboard but my mom saw me..
Thanks..
First step to change is to come back and repost with your main nick.
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hi ts,
maybe when communicating with your friend u can consider being a listener lor, dont talk to them lah just smile will do lor.
i find nothing wrong with ah gua or sissy leh, just be yourself lor. what is wrong with ah gua or sissy, some of them are nice and creative pple u know.
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-_-"
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Originally posted by daigooro:
Hi all.
I didn't want to use a clone account even though I know many of my friends, and those that dislike me surf SGF, cause I'm really sincere in changing myself.
I had an arguement with my best friend. And he asked me to change, first he said I should ask myself what to change and when I ask him, he said a whole lot of hurting words that are crude and harsh.
I told him I feel offended and I'm really sincere in changing but can would you mind using a less harsh tone? He said, this is the way he is if I don't like it than we be normal friends.
I told him, "hey I'm really sincere in changing, but please don't use so crude words can?"
I don't understand which part of my sentence sounds offensive and maybe it's due to him not feeling well today, but his way of speaking just gives me the feeling that he's venting out whatever unhappiness he has in him.
And one bad habit of mine is I like to say I love my friends alot, like I <3 xxx ah, etc etc and he says he hate that about me. He finds me ah gua-ish and being sissylike. Ok, is that something I should change too?
I don't know what to do now, my life's is in a big mess and now not having my best friend to lend his hand when I need support is something.. demoralising for me..
Can anyone advice me what to do please, or recommand some counselling centres that I can go for that is hopefully free.. I don't have alot of money to spare also.. And lastly is it very sissy to ask for help online.. I rarely see guys ask about friendship but to me I treasure friendship more than relationship cos they'll almost always last.. But this already make me start to lose faith in life and I'm really depress right now.. Just now almost want to take the razor from my cupboard but my mom saw me..
Thanks..
to be urself.. or to be someone everyone likes. mmm.. tough one. ;p
So what if u are a bit.. sissy.. lol... i find sissy guys one of the more genuine helpful nice guys out there. You sound like a more sensitive kinda guy. heh..
When you not sure , u ask. Its always good to ask if u are not sure.If ur friend is genuinely ur good friend, he will accept you for who you are and instead be understanding and maybe only intervene on ur actions if its a serious threat to the well being of yourself and/or ur friend. I dont believe in forcing another to change when his character and how he is, is still at a tolerable level and you are unique in ur own way.
The only 'bad habit' i see from ur explainatory first post is that of ur friend... lol.... and u call him ur good friend ? Even my good friend who bust my balls and disses me knows when to give good advice and when to be Mr Vain.
Razoring urself is just dumb... lol... might as well go get tattoos right ? At least they look good. heh heh.
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jsut be yourself.
don't change ur personality just because someone doesn't agree with you.
it will be worse off for you if you really went ahead and change ur personality for the sake of others, just because others said so.
when you try to change yourself into someone whom you aren't really are, you will appear fake and put off others even more.
so, take the advice of others, find a new friend, move on.
it is perfectly fine to lose a friend. you can always make more in the future. that's the reason why there are 6 bn people on Earth.
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Originally posted by skythewood:
when god gives you lemon, you find a new god.
when friends ask you to change, find a new friend.
LOL. -
Frens help us to improve, not change. Unless u r in serious bad condition tat harm urself or others. Otherwise, wat's the change for? Not everybody can change easily after being in the same character for so many decades.
So wat if we cant change? "Best Frens" leave us? Then do u still consider them as ur truely best frens? How abt u? Wld u want ur frens to change to ur liking & if they cant, wld u leave them??
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After what your friend told to you straight in the face ,you sort of already have an idea of what can or cannot be changed
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IMO, the most basic thing in order for us to help u is , we need to know ur age group and gender. .
Next, wth is he angry with u for no actual reason?
did u steal his/her bf/gf or sumthnig??
more detail if u wanna be help -
Originally posted by maskedangel:
IMO, the most basic thing in order for us to help u is , we need to know ur age group and gender. .
Next, wth is he angry with u for no actual reason?
did u steal his/her bf/gf or sumthnig??
more detail if u wanna be help19, poly year 3, male.
He's angry with me cause of my fucked up attitude that picks arguements with him.
I didn't steal his GF, but there's one time he liked a girl and I think the girl wasn't suitable for him and he wanted to wait for a long time to change the girl's mindset. I was very against him waiting and keep on asking him to move on.. Maybe he hates me for that? For spoiling his dream..?
I really don't know. And today in the morning I called him, he says i'm a very crafty person that thinks very fast and almost always have a backup plan. So this type of friend will backstab u in the future and hence he don't really care if he have me as a friend ornot..
I really never plot anything behind his back, and I really treat him as my best friend -_- so why must he say those hurtful words sia.
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Originally posted by daigooro:
19, poly year 3, male.
He's angry with me cause of my fucked up attitude that picks arguements with him.
I didn't steal his GF, but there's one time he liked a girl and I think the girl wasn't suitable for him and he wanted to wait for a long time to change the girl's mindset. I was very against him waiting and keep on asking him to move on.. Maybe he hates me for that? For spoiling his dream..?
I really don't know. And today in the morning I called him, he says i'm a very crafty person that thinks very fast and almost always have a backup plan. So this type of friend will backstab u in the future and hence he don't really care if he have me as a friend ornot..
I really never plot anything behind his back, and I really treat him as my best friend -_- so why must he say those hurtful words sia.
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Originally posted by youyayu:
skythewood get lost.. you are not even helping him.. don't post things that are stupid get lost
Dude.. just how old are you in the first place?
I have a friend.. who is like gaylish all the time too..
After he got a girl he like he suddenly changes.. towards us he is like more straight now won't say gay things
maybe u need a girl u really love =)It may help.. But it doesn't cure the root problem, the problem is in me and I really wish that I can change..