advice, please?

dadedum

14 Oct 08, 01:51

Just...want some advice.

About 3weeks ago I've come to know this guy, we hit it off well. We could talk cock with each other, it's as if we were good friends for years.

Then, about a week back, I guess I started holding his hand and lying on his shoulder.

I first thought it was just a friendly guesture, I hold hands with my other friends too. But don't know why, whenever I start to hold his hand, a tingly feeling comes and I don't know why? At night I often ask myself why is it like that, do I like him? I finally come up with an answer. No I don't even have feelings for him. But I can't explain that tingly feeling?!? Why I say I don't have feelings for him? It is just...different. I really don't have anything to like or love about him. That feel is just not there. But I don't know why I have that tingly feeling under my skin though.

Anyway, he is a very good friend. I didn't want to go home once and he stayed with me outside until the next day around 5.30am till he said I must go home and walked me to the mrt station.(the place we stayed out is super near his house, he stayed with me and didn't go home that night.)

But the most stupid thing is, just because he didn't reply my sms, I stayed up until like 2am because I couldn't sleep, because I got anxious that he didn't reply. I don't know why?

And I feel kinda stupid? It's that emo feeling that I can't seem to get rid of.

And worst of all, I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend knows, of courseold him this. He said just maybe I like him. But I don't have that feeling for him ??

My boyfriend, I am willing to sacrifice my everything for him. Money is not an issue. I mean, money, I don't think, I don't feel the pinch of spending when I'm with him. I don't mind. I don't regret. Just going to and fro to visit him in Malaysia I've already spent SGD50, I don't mind the long hours in the coach sitting till my butt and my head hurts(I get headaches whenever I'm on cars or buses), I never complained like a little girl to him about it. I just told him once that I will have these headaches.

2years and still going strong, I know that he is the one I love, that I won't even think, regret. Anything.

So far, I've spent around SGD1k+ just meeting him and spending(makan and other entertainment. of course go out pak tor must watch movie or go bowling or what activities mah! Not always lah. We share.). My age? That time I was 16 when I first visited him in Malaysia on my own. Now I'm 17. If you're wondering why considered 2years together, yes it is actually counted as 2years because we first knew each other when I was in sec2, we got together serious when I was in sec3. How serious were we? Serious enough to last until now. I'm not saying 2years is a lot, but it is not a short time either.

ANYWAY back to topic..I just want to ask, why am I feeling emo because of him(my friend)? I can't control it, I am trying my hardest to. Now I'm feeling not so bad so I got the courage to post this. I hope anyone of you can advice me? Point out my faults, I don't mind. But please don't scold? >.<

purpledragon84

14 Oct 08, 01:57

it's just the feeling of knowing another guy who is showering u with concern and wanting to be with u..

how often do u see ur boyfriend? maybe it's because u do not meet ur boyfriend enuf and now a guy so conveniently comes into ur life that's y u are tempted to start a relationship with him? and in addition ur "lying on shoulders" and "holding hands" start to blur the line?

dadedum

14 Oct 08, 02:09

I know other guys..but I never let them touch me..

Hold his hand and lie on his shoulder..well, the first time I held his hand was when we were out with another girl who supposedly likes him, so he wanted me to kinda like make her stop bothering him. He says he and her don't click. So just to break the ice I started holding both of their hands with me in the middle. He didn't push my hand away, so I thought it was okay with him. The following times when we went out I'd just by default hold his hand or grab his arm. Because I'm like that with my friends. If they don't mind.

Lying on his shoulder would be on the mrt or bus, when I just tired and wanted to rest. My attachment work and preparing to retake my o levels just worns me out sometimes. So when I'm out with him sometimes I'd just lie awhile. He too lies on my shoulder sometimes

I see my boyfriend whenever I have the time and enough money. I ate sandwiches for 3weeks for lunch to save up to go malaysia to meet him to celebrate our 2yrs anniversary..but he didn't want me to waste anymore time and money since my o levels was near and he was scared he wouldn't have time to pei me because he has school..

purpledragon84

14 Oct 08, 02:42

what i think is that ur proximity with this guy is causing u to have such confused state of mind.. not only the holding hands.. but the lying of shoulders.. such bodily contact is sure to at least stimulate ur senses unknowingly no? friends or not, it's still male vs female in the end..

in addition to that, seldom seeing ur bf has perhaps caused u to want to be cared and concerned by someone..

and, do u especially like to hold hands with him? that is, do u like to have physical contact with him more so than with other friends?

sometimes, the best answer is time.. just wait and see if it goes away..

jojobeach

14 Oct 08, 03:18

dadedum,

How often does your boyfriend comes to Singapore to meet up with you ?

How does this friend .. feels about you ?

Do you get the same tingling feeling when you have body contact with other guy friends ?

If not.. then this guy is special to you.. it's what we call "chemistry".

It's not impossible for this friendship to turn into a bg/f relationship.

If both party have feelings.. it's time you reconsider your path.

You are still young.. the number of years you spent with a guy have no impact on your future happiness.

It's who you choose to walk the path with you.. not how many years you have walked the path with.

dadedum

15 Oct 08, 01:11

No, I don't feel the same way as I do with other guys. It is very different.

As for my boyfriend, when I first held his hand, I felt a rush of like wanting sex? Like, I want more.

With him, it is just simple liking. Yes, I do admit I like holding his hand, but simple liking. I will not die not holding his hand!

Even more so than my other friends? Well, come to think of it, yes, only when you asked then I realized...I never meant to do it on purpose, just that you asked and..I just realized..

Should I stop contacting him for a period of time ?

I tried to clear things up. I typed a lot in a document and sent it to him in it I asked him this:

"  ******, have you ever thought of me as your girlfriend when we go out?"

The next day he replied me in an sms saying, "oh yah, the answer you want, my answer is the same as yours, so don't need worry."

I included my own answer to my question. Which was no.

The minute I read that sentence in his sms, my heart fell for no apparent reason. I couldn't stop myself from feeling sad? Why? But I am so sure I don't have any feelings for him-his character.

I am just so confused?

when I first held his hand, he didn't shake away but instead held mine back. I was shocked. And also every time I hold his hand at the start, that tingly feeling is very obvious. More of shock than of wanting more.

when I lied on his shoulder, he would slid down a bit so that his shoulder is lower for me to lie on.

when I raised my arms wanting a hug, he actually gave it to me. Again I was shocked. But grateful. That night I was emo and he pei me till morning.

Once, when we went to sing kbox, he even brought along a backpack just to put a jacket. I was teasing him about it too. Just a jacket, and you bring a backpack?

When I said I was cold in the kbox, he lent me his jacket to wear..

He...bring jacket for what when he was wearing a black long sleeved shirt?
Or maybe, it was all just my imagination.

My boyfriend...he hasn't visited me once in sg..

He doesn't have a passport..He is planning

But since last year...I am sad many times that not once he has come sg to be with me, that he has been saying coming to sg since last year but he has not done it..I don't want empty promises, I'd rather you not make any at all.

But I can wait.

I don't know if this tingly feeling is chemistry. But I know, since he has already told me he isn't interested in me, even IF I like him, it would be no use, right? I don't anyway.

Thanks for the quick responses, you guys are the best (:

charlize

15 Oct 08, 01:14

Eh, just to confirm, TS is a girl right?

dadedum

15 Oct 08, 01:16

No, I don't feel the same way as I do with other guys. It is very different.

As for my boyfriend, when I first held his hand, I felt a rush of like wanting sex? Like, I want more.

With him, it is just simple liking. Yes, I do admit I like holding his hand, but simple liking. I will not die not holding his hand!

Even more so than my other friends? Well, come to think of it, yes, only when you asked then I realized...I never meant to do it on purpose, just that you asked and..I just realized..

Should I stop contacting him for a period of time ?

I tried to clear things up. I typed a lot in a document and sent it to him in it I asked him this:

"******, have you ever thought of me as your girlfriend when we go out?"

The next day he replied me in an sms saying, "oh yah, the answer you want, my answer is the same as yours, so don't need worry."

I included my own answer to my question. Which was no.

The minute I read that sentence in his sms, my heart fell for no apparent reason. I couldn't stop myself from feeling sad? Why? But I am so sure I don't have any feelings for him-his character.

I am just so confused?

when I first held his hand, he didn't shake away but instead held mine back. I was shocked. And also every time I hold his hand at the start, that tingly feeling is very obvious. More of shock than of wanting more.

when I lied on his shoulder, he would slid down a bit so that his shoulder is lower for me to lie on.

when I raised my arms wanting a hug, he actually gave it to me. Again I was shocked. But grateful. That night I was emo and he pei me till morning.

Once, when we went to sing kbox, he even brought along a backpack just to put a jacket. I was teasing him about it too. Just a jacket, and you bring a backpack?

When I said I was cold in the kbox, he lent me his jacket to wear..

He...bring jacket for what when he was wearing a black long sleeved shirt?
Or maybe, it was all just my imagination.

My boyfriend...he hasn't visited me once in sg..

He doesn't have a passport..He is planning

But since last year...I am sad many times that not once he has come sg to be with me, that he has been saying coming to sg since last year but he has not done it..I don't want empty promises, I'd rather you not make any at all.

But I can wait.

I don't know if this tingly feeling is chemistry. But I know, since he has already told me he isn't interested in me, even IF I like him, it would be no use, right? I don't anyway.

Thanks for the quick responses, you guys are the best (:

And if you're asking me, I am a girl. I'm not bisexual or anything. Straight.

caleb_chiang

15 Oct 08, 01:55

Erm... didn't I read that you are serious about him? Thus, it conclude the answer you are seeking for... If you can't imagine yourself being intimate with him, then you are just soul mates... if not, you had already answered you own question.

dadedum

15 Oct 08, 02:08

serious about him? I just don't understand why I feel so sad because of him? Soul mates? meaning? And...why all those things and he says he doesn't like me? I just want know why, and I feel that I want to spend a lot of my time with him, don't know why?

parn

15 Oct 08, 02:28

Originally posted by dadedum:

Just...want some advice.

About 3weeks ago I've come to know this guy, we hit it off well. We could talk cock with each other, it's as if we were good friends for years.

Then, about a week back, I guess I started holding his hand and lying on his shoulder.

I first thought it was just a friendly guesture, I hold hands with my other friends too. But don't know why, whenever I start to hold his hand, a tingly feeling comes and I don't know why? At night I often ask myself why is it like that, do I like him? I finally come up with an answer. No I don't even have feelings for him. But I can't explain that tingly feeling?!? Why I say I don't have feelings for him? It is just...different. I really don't have anything to like or love about him. That feel is just not there. But I don't know why I have that tingly feeling under my skin though.

Anyway, he is a very good friend. I didn't want to go home once and he stayed with me outside until the next day around 5.30am till he said I must go home and walked me to the mrt station.(the place we stayed out is super near his house, he stayed with me and didn't go home that night.)

But the most stupid thing is, just because he didn't reply my sms, I stayed up until like 2am because I couldn't sleep, because I got anxious that he didn't reply. I don't know why?

And I feel kinda stupid? It's that emo feeling that I can't seem to get rid of.

And worst of all, I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend knows, of courseold him this. He said just maybe I like him. But I don't have that feeling for him ??

My boyfriend, I am willing to sacrifice my everything for him. Money is not an issue. I mean, money, I don't think, I don't feel the pinch of spending when I'm with him. I don't mind. I don't regret. Just going to and fro to visit him in Malaysia I've already spent SGD50, I don't mind the long hours in the coach sitting till my butt and my head hurts(I get headaches whenever I'm on cars or buses), I never complained like a little girl to him about it. I just told him once that I will have these headaches.

2years and still going strong, I know that he is the one I love, that I won't even think, regret. Anything.

So far, I've spent around SGD1k+ just meeting him and spending(makan and other entertainment. of course go out pak tor must watch movie or go bowling or what activities mah! Not always lah. We share.). My age? That time I was 16 when I first visited him in Malaysia on my own. Now I'm 17. If you're wondering why considered 2years together, yes it is actually counted as 2years because we first knew each other when I was in sec2, we got together serious when I was in sec3. How serious were we? Serious enough to last until now. I'm not saying 2years is a lot, but it is not a short time either.

ANYWAY back to topic..I just want to ask, why am I feeling emo because of him(my friend)? I can't control it, I am trying my hardest to. Now I'm feeling not so bad so I got the courage to post this. I hope anyone of you can advice me? Point out my faults, I don't mind. But please don't scold? >.<

You must have misses your bf very much and you unconsciously try to deplete those feelings on your new friend because he is a nice person whom you can make use of to reduce your overflowing feelings for your bf. Take note that the word "make use" is not expressed in a bad way, cos it's just necessary for us to do that sometimes.

But don't worry, you're not falling for him or using him as a replacement for your bf. As far as I can read, I understand that you love your bf and there's no doubt about that.

And no need to feel bad or sorry towards your good friend, I'm sure he would be happy to know that he was useful enough to help you. But just don't let him know about it ok?

If it's done subconsciously, it's just your body natural reaction to cope with your overloaded emotions. And it's not your fault.

jojobeach

15 Oct 08, 05:22

Originally posted by dadedum:

No, I don't feel the same way as I do with other guys. It is very different.

As for my boyfriend, when I first held his hand, I felt a rush of like wanting sex? Like, I want more.

With him, it is just simple liking. Yes, I do admit I like holding his hand, but simple liking. I will not die not holding his hand!

Even more so than my other friends? Well, come to think of it, yes, only when you asked then I realized...I never meant to do it on purpose, just that you asked and..I just realized..

Should I stop contacting him for a period of time ?

I tried to clear things up. I typed a lot in a document and sent it to him in it I asked him this:

"******, have you ever thought of me as your girlfriend when we go out?"

The next day he replied me in an sms saying, "oh yah, the answer you want, my answer is the same as yours, so don't need worry."

I included my own answer to my question. Which was no.

The minute I read that sentence in his sms, my heart fell for no apparent reason. I couldn't stop myself from feeling sad? Why? But I am so sure I don't have any feelings for him-his character.

I am just so confused?

when I first held his hand, he didn't shake away but instead held mine back. I was shocked. And also every time I hold his hand at the start, that tingly feeling is very obvious. More of shock than of wanting more.

when I lied on his shoulder, he would slid down a bit so that his shoulder is lower for me to lie on.

when I raised my arms wanting a hug, he actually gave it to me. Again I was shocked. But grateful. That night I was emo and he pei me till morning.

Once, when we went to sing kbox, he even brought along a backpack just to put a jacket. I was teasing him about it too. Just a jacket, and you bring a backpack?

When I said I was cold in the kbox, he lent me his jacket to wear..

He...bring jacket for what when he was wearing a black long sleeved shirt?
Or maybe, it was all just my imagination.

My boyfriend...he hasn't visited me once in sg..

He doesn't have a passport..He is planning

But since last year...I am sad many times that not once he has come sg to be with me, that he has been saying coming to sg since last year but he has not done it..I don't want empty promises, I'd rather you not make any at all.

But I can wait.

I don't know if this tingly feeling is chemistry. But I know, since he has already told me he isn't interested in me, even IF I like him, it would be no use, right? I don't anyway.

Thanks for the quick responses, you guys are the best (:

And if you're asking me, I am a girl. I'm not bisexual or anything. Straight.

Dadedum,

Do you know that you have rejected your friend.. before he can say yes ?

As a guy.. he also has pride.. after you said no.. are you expecting a yes from him ?

Perhaps if you had said yes.. he woulda replied yes to you too.

It is rather obvious.. your boyfriend ... he is not a very reliable person.

Trust me.. he is only in Malaysia.. and he couldn't even be bothered to come visit you in Singapore.. I wonder.. is he really that into you ? Or is your relationship a one sided one.. really.

I hav a friend .. and her boyfriend lives in London.. he would fly across the globe just to meet up with my girl friend.. after several months.. of this trans continental relationship.. they got married.. THAT.. is love.

Your boyfriend... I dunno girl... maybe it;s time you reconsider.Perhaps he is more lust than love.

If I am you.. I'd give your friend a chance...

Since you rejected him first.. you should restart the relationship first.

Let him know how you truly feels.. and see where it goes from there...

Chemistry don't happen very often.. If I am you.. I'd cherish it .. and make it bloom into a beautiful relationship.

de_middle

15 Oct 08, 16:05

just another crush.....

Saint`

15 Oct 08, 21:22

Originally posted by jojobeach:

Dadedum,

Do you know that you have rejected your friend.. before he can say yes ?

As a guy.. he also has pride.. after you said no.. are you expecting a yes from him ?

Perhaps if you had said yes.. he woulda replied yes to you too.

It is rather obvious.. your boyfriend ... he is not a very reliable person.

Trust me.. he is only in Malaysia.. and he couldn't even be bothered to come visit you in Singapore.. I wonder.. is he really that into you ? Or is your relationship a one sided one.. really.

I hav a friend .. and her boyfriend lives in London.. he would fly across the globe just to meet up with my girl friend.. after several months.. of this trans continental relationship.. they got married.. THAT.. is love.

Your boyfriend... I dunno girl... maybe it;s time you reconsider.Perhaps he is more lust than love.

If I am you.. I'd give your friend a chance...

Since you rejected him first.. you should restart the relationship first.

Let him know how you truly feels.. and see where it goes from there...

Chemistry don't happen very often.. If I am you.. I'd cherish it .. and make it bloom into a beautiful relationship.

epic ans.. i like ..

add on , some say best friends makes the best couple .

rainee

15 Oct 08, 22:04

Long distance relationship is hard. Many temptations exist everyday, all around us. I guess you are yearning for your boyfriend to be near, but he couldn't because he is in Malaysia so you find solace in your close friend.

Ever watched the movie, "Comrades, almost a love story"? Your story reminded me of that movie.

For now, take it slow. I think you haven't been meeting up with your boyfriend lately, so it could be you are missing him? Why not organise another meet up soon and see if your feelings for him are still as strong, or are they being replaced by the feelings you have for this friend of yours? Talk to your bf about this, he has to make some efforts to come over and visit you instead of you going over all the time.

I have experienced long distance relationship before...yes, it is tough but it can be done if both parties are strong enough...

dadedum

15 Oct 08, 23:42

oh...jojo...I didn't realize that..I just didn't want him to think like...I like him.. But anyways he met up with his ex-gf recently and seems like he has gotten on terms with her again...so if he ever goes back to her, I don't think there would be any chance for us anyway. And I don't want to give up my boyfriend for him because I know he is not worth it, even if it turns out he does have feelings for me. My boyfriend...I know, a lot of people have said he is not reliable, he is just giving excuses, etc. But I know, whenever I visit him, I know that he cares for me a lot. He cares a lot about my health too. He sends me an sms almost everyday at night to wish me good luck in my o levels and everything. He cares. My friend, he has yet to even say, "good luck in your 'O' levels" And I've stopped contacting him for now. On a later date after my O levels I'll arrange a date to return him his jacket and the DVD he lent me. I really don't want to owe him anything..But yet, I have this feeling I can't bring myself to stop contacting him..for good. I am so afraid that the next time I meet him I will start holding his hand again.. So should I say that I like him so that he can truly say what he wants? If his first answer wasn't what he really meant..but I have no feelings for him.. To me, how far apart does not matter. What is important is that my boyfriend is not here..I miss him very much..Even I couldn't believe I nearly cried when I just wanted to tell a friend that I miss my boyfriend.. I'm unable to plan anything for the next couple of months as I'll be studying and I don't have any holidays until mid december. My boyfriend says he is going for on the job training soon, so when he is working he won't have time for me. He says that he was planning, before starting work, to come over to sg to visit me. But my boyfriend have yet to make a passport and his mother says he should finish his studies first. Which is, in a way quite true and it is a test for us I guess. But personally I have my selfishness and I would really want for him to come... I know I can't always be going over, but..I really miss him sometimes..I just look at the bracelet he gave me and cry because he isn't here and I really miss him..I wear it always on my right hand whenever I'm not in my nursing uniform. Very obvious because it's some kind of orange beads that Buddhists wear. His whole family has one each, only of different colours, so he gave me one too. He wears a similar one on his left hand, just that the beads are bigger. So if you see a girl on the streets wearing an orange beads bracelet! Do say hi! (: And one more thing..it was that friend who introduced me to this forum..He reads it but never posts anything here...So I hope I'm not so unlucky for him to read all of this! >.< And also another last thing that is on my mind.. Lately one guy in my class has been teased by my class about me and him...For example, whenever I come into class late, or my classmates sabo me to do demo for our practical lessons, being the most obvious one that teacher have to stop talking halfway to allow me to take my seat, or having to go out and stand before the class to do the demo, the class would start laughing and then I heard people shouting that guy's name and mine and laughter and all that stuff. It started quite long ago, but recently my class started again..I am not particularly bothered by it, but am curious about it..should I ask him about it? Also the same thing happened during my attachment to a hospital. Another guy though. Like, I work with him and then my other mates who are the same group as me in attachment would be like all smiles and point and stuff. Both guys are very friendly to me, one even lent me his handphone to sms a friend when my phone battery went flat. Should I just ignore this or clarify with them? Curious only, nothing else. And...really thanks. Without you guys' answers, I wouldn't be feeling more light hearted than before!

jojobeach

16 Oct 08, 00:51

Originally posted by dadedum:

oh…jojo…I didn’t realize that..I just didn’t want him to think like…I like him..
But anyways he met up with his ex-gf recently and seems like he has gotten on terms with her again…so if he ever goes back to her, I don’t think there would be any chance for us anyway. And I don’t want to give up my boyfriend for him because I know he is not worth it, even if it turns out he does have feelings for me.

My boyfriend…I know, a lot of people have said he is not reliable, he is just giving excuses, etc. But I know, whenever I visit him, I know that he cares for me a lot. He cares a lot about my health too. He sends me an sms almost everyday at night to wish me good luck in my o levels and everything. He cares. My friend, he has yet to even say, “good luck in your ‘O’ levels”

And I’ve stopped contacting him for now. On a later date after my O levels I’ll arrange a date to return him his jacket and the DVD he lent me. I really don’t want to owe him anything..But yet, I have this feeling I can’t bring myself to stop contacting him..for good.
I am so afraid that the next time I meet him I will start holding his hand again..
So should I say that I like him so that he can truly say what he wants? If his first answer wasn’t what he really meant..but I have no feelings for him..

To me, how far apart does not matter. What is important is that my boyfriend is not here..I miss him very much..Even I couldn’t believe I nearly cried when I just wanted to tell a friend that I miss my boyfriend..

I’m unable to plan anything for the next couple of months as I’ll be studying and I don’t have
any holidays until mid december.

My boyfriend says he is going for on the job training soon, so when he is working he won’t have time for me. He says that he was planning, before starting work, to come over to sg to visit me.

But my boyfriend have yet to make a passport and his mother says he should finish his studies first. Which is, in a way quite true and it is a test for us I guess. But personally I have my selfishness and I would really want for him to come…
I know I can’t always be going over, but..I really miss him sometimes..I just look at the bracelet he gave me and cry because he isn’t here and I really miss him..I wear it always on my right hand whenever I’m not in my nursing uniform. Very obvious because it’s some kind of orange beads that Buddhists wear. His whole family has one each, only of different colours, so he gave me one too. He wears a similar one on his left hand, just that the beads are bigger. So if you see a girl on the streets wearing an orange beads bracelet! Do say hi! (:

And one more thing..it was that friend who introduced me to this forum..He reads it but never posts anything here…So I hope I’m not so unlucky for him to read all of this! >.<

And also another last thing that is on my mind..

Lately one guy in my class has been teased by my class about me and him…For example, whenever I come into class late, or my classmates sabo me to do demo for our practical lessons, being the most obvious one that teacher have to stop talking halfway to allow me to take my seat, or having to go out and stand before the class to do the demo, the class would start laughing and then I heard people shouting that guy’s name and mine and laughter and all that stuff.
It started quite long ago, but recently my class started again..I am not particularly bothered by it, but am curious about it..should I ask him about it?

Also the same thing happened during my attachment to a hospital. Another guy though. Like, I work with him and then my other mates who are the same group as me in attachment would be like all smiles and point and stuff.

Both guys are very friendly to me, one even lent me his handphone to sms a friend when my phone battery went flat.

Should I just ignore this or clarify with them? Curious only, nothing else.

And…really thanks. Without you guys’ answers, I wouldn’t be feeling more light hearted than before!

Dadedum,

If you don't want any guy to "think you like him".. then please.. do them a favor.. don't have physical contact like holding hands or lying on their shoulders.

Surely you don't want to come across as being a flirt do you ?

You can hold hands and have close body contact with girls.. as much as you like..as often as you want.. that will hardly cause any misunderstanding.

But.. guys are guys.. so please don't treat them like how you would with your girl friends.

Sometimes.. girls likes to hear sweet nothings... but truly.. what you should be observing .. is not the text messages.. not words whispered into your ears...

Rather.. it's the actions that tells you how much a guy cares for you.

Since you are not into this guy friend.. then there is no need to seek anymore answers from him.

As for your boyfriend.... the answer is in your heart...

Absence makes the heart fonder.....a memory in the making.

Once you are clear with where your heart wants to go.. you will no longer be lost in the clouds.

Good luck girl.

rainee

16 Oct 08, 10:25

Yes, I seriously tink you should stop holding your guy friend's hands, leaning on their shoulder and what-not. It will usually give guys the wrong idea about what kind of girl you are, some of them might not know that you are already attached and once they found out, they might think that you are leading them on...

dadedum

17 Oct 08, 00:50

okay, thanks guys. I will do some self reflection, but..would you rather choose a guy who loves you but you don't love him or a guy you love but he is taking it for granted? I tried once to accept a guy who liked me. I went to meet him. And turned out I couldn't even bring myself to hold his hand. And things turned ugly..

purpledragon84

17 Oct 08, 01:27

Originally posted by dadedum:

okay, thanks guys. I will do some self reflection, but..would you rather choose a guy who loves you but you don’t love him or a guy you love but he is taking it for granted?

I tried once to accept a guy who liked me. I went to meet him. And turned out I couldn’t even bring myself to hold his hand. And things turned ugly..

eh..? i rather not choose at all.. how heartbreaking it will be to find out that u love the guy with all ur heart only to one day catch him with his pants down with another girl? and u saw it coming all along too, since u know he's taking it for granted..

and if it's the former, like u said, u wouldn't even be able to bring urself to hold his hand.. love until so xin ku, den forget it man..

jojobeach

17 Oct 08, 03:36

Originally posted by dadedum:

okay, thanks guys. I will do some self reflection, but..would you rather choose a guy who loves you but you don’t love him or a guy you love but he is taking it for granted?

I tried once to accept a guy who liked me. I went to meet him. And turned out I couldn’t even bring myself to hold his hand. And things turned ugly..

Girl.. you won't die without a man.

Love is a two way street.

You try doing one way only.. you'd be driving straight to heart break hotel.

Take your time to find that guy you can love and he loves you back...

Theres a song ... and the lyrics goes ... " It's so sad to belong to someone else.... when the right one comes along...."

rainee

17 Oct 08, 08:06

Originally posted by dadedum:

okay, thanks guys. I will do some self reflection, but..would you rather choose a guy who loves you but you don’t love him or a guy you love but he is taking it for granted?

I tried once to accept a guy who liked me. I went to meet him. And turned out I couldn’t even bring myself to hold his hand. And things turned ugly..

Be with one whom you love and also love you back...

love is not a one way street...

dadedum

17 Oct 08, 12:36

yes i agree...one should give and take. Then...I'll try it.. See if my friend is okay for me? Actually I am kind of touched that he does all these things and even pei me go running when he hardly does running when he is not in camp. And, even if it doesn't work out in the end, I think single is not so bad after all.

rainee

17 Oct 08, 13:22

Originally posted by dadedum:

yes i agree…one should give and take.
Then…I’ll try it..

See if my friend is okay for me? Actually I am kind of touched that he does all these things and even pei me go running when he hardly does running when he is not in camp.

And, even if it doesn’t work out in the end, I think single is not so bad after all.

So what's going to happen to your boyfriend? You plan to try it out with your friend without letting your boyfriend know right?

So are you saying that you are in process of dumping your bf then?

dadedum

20 Oct 08, 13:27

I said try it out but I didn't really have the intention to do it..sorry But a few days back i did sms-ed him saying "so what if I like you?" Then there on i kept pestering him asking him if he likes me because he kept not replying my smses. I know, bombing him with smses is not right, but i just wanted a simple answer, yes or no..is it so hard? My boyfriend knows everything. I did have the thought of breaking up with him, but in the end when we really sat down and talked and i realized when he started to...wanted to let me go, i just couldn't let him go. I then realized that when I smsed my friend saying "so what if I like you?", all I wanted was attention. I just wanted attention, I just wanted somebody to care and talk to me. My boyfriend is unable to reply my smses as quick as he has his school and every sms is considered expensive for both of us. We don't mind the cost, but we both can't afford it continuously long term. As for my friend, now, he is ignoring me most of the time. I suppose he has gone back to hanging out with his ex, I can see clearly that he still has feelings for her, after all it was her who dumped him. I told him that he still likes his ex, he feels so too but just didn't admit it outright. He did say that there are times whereby he has thoughts that maybe they could be together again. He told me, before he started ignoring me, that he is very vexed on what to give her on christmas. It just goes to show how much he still loves her. I sometimes really want to help them get back together, like, girl talk with his ex and try and help...I also wish they could be together again. So yeah, now, I am beginning to not be so hurt that he is giving me the cold shoulder. Because...that night he didn't reply my smses...I was very emo as something happened and I needed a friend to talk to but he continued to ignore me..And when he got fed up and replied me, me: "i just...need a friend..to talk to..jx just told me that I'm very selfish...."(another issue that happened when I was in malaysia) he said, "good. Glad that you know. now I need my SLP. gd nite." I was crying and I couldn't do anything...I just felt so helpless...a friend you thought you could count on to listen to you, just outright don't want to listen to you for that few minutes.. My boyfriend knows every single detail. I never hide anything from him.