Single Woes...
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Recently, I feel sad when people questioned me about single status. Asking me why I am single and when I will get married.
Just not too long ago, I bumped into an old neighbour.She is as old as me and to my surprise, she is already a mother of 3 kids. I felt so ashamed of myself.So what I am more educated than her ? So what I am slimmer than her?
Whenever there are match making subject in the news, I will cringe. Some relatives even joke to sign me up. My parents always drop big hint that so and so 's daughter got married already. I feel upset and I am hitting 30 soon. It seems like a deadline for women.
Furthermore, people do not understand why I do not have a boyfriend. I also do not understand why they do not understand.
I really do not want to end up desperate one day.
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Singles will always face this. So, not to worry....
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haizz pat pat Joi_lin
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Do you ever think of guys/gals? If you don't, you should not succumb to peer pressure, and make the best of your personal freedom and time, keep yourself busy
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u wanna be single anot?
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if u dun wanna b single, then itis easy..... go join those dating online thingy and u will be spending all ur weekend dating...
else if u choose to be single, why bother about others comment?
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I find dating online is quite dangerous. Being single at a old age has many cons such as difficulty in getting a cheap flat and loses out in terms of rebates. Being poor and single is very sad. Also very paiseh to receive red packets and also cannot distribute red packets during Chinese New Year.
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Why are u so bothered about what others think & say? Live your own life.
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Being single has nothing to be ashamed of. Just because other ppl get married and have kids, then you also want to follow suit?
Receiving ang pao means free money, or you'll rather be happily giving out money? I think you are worrying too much about how other ppl are perceiving you. If you want to get married due to peer pressure then forget it. If you really want to get married, broaden your social life 1st. Normally, couples meet when they have common interests and hobbies.
Just imagine this. If you hastily choose someone to get married, then end up cannot get along, do you want to return here and complain abt marital woes and divorce? Anyway, sorry if I'm being blunt. You shld think abt what you want to do, before you decide to settle down. Remember; your other half stays with you for the rest of your life until one of you call it quits or die of old age.
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Do something!
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Originally posted by Joi_lin:
I find dating online is quite dangerous. Being single at a old age has many cons such as difficulty in getting a cheap flat and loses out in terms of rebates. Being poor and single is very sad. Also very paiseh to receive red packets and also cannot distribute red packets during Chinese New Year.
How so? Ever tried one?
btw, if u wanna expend ur social circle to know more other singles, can always try joining dances class, wine drinking club, etc. Go out more often and do thing with what most singles does.
What's the main reason you are single? Coz u sound like one whom din choose to b single.
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What's wong with being single?..Is your own live?..Why does it matter as long as u are happy?..
Don't feel pressurized by what others say..
Who knows?..They might envy u for being single..No pressure from your partner..No kids to stress over with etc..
U can only live once..Enjoy it instead of fretting =)
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Somehow m able to relate to how u feel --> Qs of marriage etc, worries of elderly, all the way to my grandparents as to why I am still single~
Initial start, few yrs back, when friends started getting married, i do feel 'awkward' attending dinners and being bombarded with Qs of marriage etc --> my friends married young~
as time passes, and after numerous complaints from married friends, being single or not single doesnt really matter dat much~
kind of leave it to fate~
in fact, single does have its pros as well~
Having a bf / not having a bf, depends on urself --> wats the reason behind?
Cos for my case, I was paranoid, I was hurt once very deeply before (I guess many would have asked, who haven't?), but till now, sad to say, I haven't walk out of the 'darkness' yet~ dats y my grandparents are worried as well --> nowadays as long as they saw a guy with me, they will ask my parents, dats her bf? wow --> *sweats*
it doesn't feel good having to let elderly to worry~
anyway, for ang baos, i realised dat as well, especially my aunties can be pretty sacastic at times during new year --> thus i told my mum to inform my relatives not to give ang baos to me anymore --> it works, in a way they save, leading to no more 'remarks' on my 'singlehood' issue --> to them, receiving ang baos = single, single = must get married = must ask when's that day~
(",)
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it's ok 1 lah..
i have frens whose kids are in primary school and there are some who have married TWICE...
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I met some people offline before. Online persona and offline persona are two different. I conclude that people u enjoy talking offline doesn't mean they are nice to talk offline. They may have totally different character.It is really totally different. Let alone some people have other motives like cheating money out of older woman. I try not to generalise but this is how i feel.
I do try not to bother but it ends up bothering me. Because I have to step out of the house to meet people and this is when all the remark. So what should I do? Stay at home as much as possible? Do activities alone?
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how come u always think people have motive n want to cheat ur money? haha
u have to go out there and make more frens. Be proactive I agree with u making frens online is different than making frens in the real world.
Besides making frens online is dangerous. some r buayas. U have to open ur eyes big also.
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aiyo, as if making fren offline = not buayas. Online just another means to meet more new ppl lah...
buayas, cheater, con man or not.... they are everywhere... lah...
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okay TS I definitely will not be dating you so that's one less to worry about
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Doing activities alone?
Do you have friends?
Even if those friends are married, I am sure they are still able to meet up with you.
Most relationships start off as friends, jus broaden ur social circle and leave it to fate to do the job.
(",)
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Online and offline different i agree.
But i am what u see is what u get. ;p
*shivers* i seldom meet online ppls. They are often not what u expect them to be. Except for the ones in sgf-sbh. hahaha which i think was pretty alrite. hahaha expected. he he. Or maybe i am getting better at it.
Grab fate by the balls...
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Joi_lin, you are in a similar situation as I am, except that I am a man and a few years your junior.
During certain ocassions, especially during Chinese New Year, people will ask me questions like "Do you have a girlfirend?" "When you are getting one? e.t.c. Then, they will start to make comparisons like "Me, 24 years already married and having children blah blah blah" e.t.c. And yes, I will still be receiving red packets rather giving out red packets because it is Chinese tradition.
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To solve this problem, the first step is to understand yourself better. You need to make things clear to yourself. Do you want to remain single for the rest of your life or do you want to get married and have childeren.
If your final decision is to remain single for the rest of your life, then the problem will eventually disappear because without a desire for attachment, you have already sever(cut off) the main cause of suffering.
If you have decided to get attached, then you have to be clear of what you want first before you can actively start looking for it. "Passive" mode does not work well nowadays because the demand and supply is not well balance here in Singapore. The demand for Singaporean men compared to the demand for Singaporean women is significantly different here.
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And yes, any solutions provided here may applies to me as well.
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U have low self esteem.......
As ppl always say "NO PAIN NO GAIN" If U are always in a circle, then u will not know what is happening outside the circle. Give urself more chances, go out for social gathering organise by CC , govt board etc....... At least this can widen ur circle of friends..... 
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Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
Doing activities alone?
Do you have friends?
Even if those friends are married, I am sure they are still able to meet up with you.
Most relationships start off as friends, jus broaden ur social circle and leave it to fate to do the job.
(",)
I mean that it is when i go out and meet people, once they know how old I am , they start to assume that I have BF and asked when I am getting married. And also this is the time when remarks start flying about when they realise I am single. So I wonder whether to do actitivities alone can lessen the agony. But doing actitivities alone can make things worse I guess.
As friends getting married, their priority will be their new family. Sometimes, there are no common topics to talk about. It seems that both are from different world. I dislike the feeling of drifting apart from friends. But I kind of have to accept it.
At home, work or outside, being nagged about this issue is tiring.
What I fear is that I will become a single, old and desperate lady in future.