shall i continue to pull out?
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I am married with a teenage daughter. I am not at all with my hubby since years back. He is always giving priority to his frds and family. If his frd or family and I were to make an appt on the same day same time he will tell me he has to go out with his frd or family .. and ask me to wait for the following week. However, due to his shift work, he has only one precious weekend every mth for us, and very often he give priority to his frds and family instead of me and daughter.
4-5 years back I nearly divorce him due to travelling plans. I have been wanting to go to Japan or Vietnam for years, but every year he will tell me next year we will go and every year he agree to wherever his family plan to go. Even the place that i hated most China and Taiwan. He keep asking me to wait for him to save up enough for my place but every time he will spend his saving going to places I dont really want to go. As our money are limited when we go to these other places my Japan and Vietnam got to wait for another year. I was very angry and after this last china trip with his family I said lets divorce I am not willing to wait endlessly for the place i want to go. Since his family do not support going to places that i wanted to go i also have no interest to go back every week too.
With this divorce, he suddenly has available cash to go Japan with us .. just the 3 of us family. and asked me to put off the divorce plan. and since then i havent been going back to his family for all the occasions not even chinese new year. Till now, none of the in law have ever called to asked me why.. they just treat as nothing happn so hubby 2 treat as ntg happen..
recently, a married colleague expressed interest in me // and he really treated me very well .. much better than my husband .. he said he dont want anything bad to happen to me (while my hubby keep saying if he is heaven he would like to let me be CHIAK LUK) i initially tried to pull out of the relationship..but pulling out had been rather difficult cos we get to see each other every day in the office. I am now thinking whether to continue or to pull out .. my brain say stop all these nonsense and my heart said go for it
how?
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Damn confusing. Didn't finish everything.
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Originally posted by Fannao388:
I am married with a teenage daughter. I am not at all with my hubby since years back. He is always giving priority to his frds and family. If his frd or family and I were to make an appt on the same day same time he will tell me he has to go out with his frd or family .. and ask me to wait for the following week. However, due to his shift work, he has only one precious weekend every mth for us, and very often he give priority to his frds and family instead of me and daughter.
4-5 years back I nearly divorce him due to travelling plans. I have been wanting to go to Japan or Vietnam for years, but every year he will tell me next year we will go and every year he agree to wherever his family plan to go. Even the place that i hated most China and Taiwan. He keep asking me to wait for him to save up enough for my place but every time he will spend his saving going to places I dont really want to go. As our money are limited when we go to these other places my Japan and Vietnam got to wait for another year. I was very angry and after this last china trip with his family I said lets divorce I am not willing to wait endlessly for the place i want to go. Since his family do not support going to places that i wanted to go i also have no interest to go back every week too.
With this divorce, he suddenly has available cash to go Japan with us .. just the 3 of us family. and asked me to put off the divorce plan. and since then i havent been going back to his family for all the occasions not even chinese new year. Till now, none of the in law have ever called to asked me why.. they just treat as nothing happn so hubby 2 treat as ntg happen..
recently, a married colleague expressed interest in me // and he really treated me very well .. much better than my husband .. he said he dont want anything bad to happen to me (while my hubby keep saying if he is heaven he would like to let me be CHIAK LUK) i initially tried to pull out of the relationship..but pulling out had been rather difficult cos we get to see each other every day in the office. I am now thinking whether to continue or to pull out .. my brain say stop all these nonsense and my heart said go for it
how?
Firstly solve your marriage problems first. Find a right time to talk to him about the very real problem of not having enough company. Something like a showdown. You may want to seek a marriage counsellor. See what are his answers to your problems.
IMO, friends should be left to free time since he has his own family (you and your daughter). Family wise, the more important ones are you and your daughter. Work wise i can understand since he has no time, but when he has free time, still going out seeking friends = wrong.
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u're married.
obviously ur husband has realised ur importance to him when u threatened to divorce.
"well if he oni changes when i threaten to divorce, then wads the use?"
pls gtfo if tts wad going thru ur mind.
and do not forget,
u have a daughter dammit.
HOW WOULD SHE FEEL
IF HER MOM LEFT HER AND HER DAD TO BE WITH ANOTHER MAN WHO HAS A FAMILY
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Divorce him, get half of his assets than go for the married collegue. after marry the collegue divorce him again and get half of his assets again
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TS
I pity your child, as a mother you are an absolute failure.
Grow up please you fucking bimbo.
Just because you don't get to go to some stupid place, you threaten to get a divorce. Is your brain that small? Seriously, I pity your husband for marrying you in the first place. What the hell was he thinking?
You don't deserve your husband and your kid. Go on and have fun with the man whore. Just don't come crying back here when he dumps you.
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Originally posted by Fannao388:
I am married with a teenage daughter. I am not at all with my hubby since years back. He is always giving priority to his frds and family. If his frd or family and I were to make an appt on the same day same time he will tell me he has to go out with his frd or family .. and ask me to wait for the following week. However, due to his shift work, he has only one precious weekend every mth for us, and very often he give priority to his frds and family instead of me and daughter.
4-5 years back I nearly divorce him due to travelling plans. I have been wanting to go to Japan or Vietnam for years, but every year he will tell me next year we will go and every year he agree to wherever his family plan to go. Even the place that i hated most China and Taiwan. He keep asking me to wait for him to save up enough for my place but every time he will spend his saving going to places I dont really want to go. As our money are limited when we go to these other places my Japan and Vietnam got to wait for another year. I was very angry and after this last china trip with his family I said lets divorce I am not willing to wait endlessly for the place i want to go. Since his family do not support going to places that i wanted to go i also have no interest to go back every week too.
With this divorce, he suddenly has available cash to go Japan with us .. just the 3 of us family. and asked me to put off the divorce plan. and since then i havent been going back to his family for all the occasions not even chinese new year. Till now, none of the in law have ever called to asked me why.. they just treat as nothing happn so hubby 2 treat as ntg happen..
recently, a married colleague expressed interest in me // and he really treated me very well .. much better than my husband .. he said he dont want anything bad to happen to me (while my hubby keep saying if he is heaven he would like to let me be CHIAK LUK) i initially tried to pull out of the relationship..but pulling out had been rather difficult cos we get to see each other every day in the office. I am now thinking whether to continue or to pull out .. my brain say stop all these nonsense and my heart said go for it
how?
The thing is travelling plan is a very small matter, and dont get divorced becaused of this silly reason.
Is it funny? The two of you are quarrelling over such a small matter. You are supposed to enjoy yourself going for a tour to RELAX and yet you are going to the extreme of divorcing over the "travelling" plan?
I am a guy, I will find you overdo. The thing, it does not really matter which place I going as long as I am getting the "Relax" effect that I want. So it is really irriating to have some1 keep complaining over this kind of small matter.
China, Taiwan, Hongkong are good place because "they" speak chinese. Japan, Vietam dont speak chinese.
Why dont you ask your husband why he wanted to go China and Taiwan instead?
Why do you keep insisting where you wanted to go and ignore where your husband wanted to go?
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Originally posted by ChoCoChips:
u're married.
obviously ur husband has realised ur importance to him when u threatened to divorce.
"well if he oni changes when i threaten to divorce, then wads the use?"
pls gtfo if tts wad going thru ur mind.
and do not forget,
u have a daughter dammit.
HOW WOULD SHE FEEL
IF HER MOM LEFT HER AND HER DAD TO BE WITH ANOTHER MAN WHO HAS A FAMILY
Eh, TS did not say her male colleague is married.
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Originally posted by Samuel Lee:
Eh, TS did not say her male colleague is married.
read again,
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Your Married Lover only wants s3x.... free shags... once he had his fills, he will dump you.... use your brains to think (if you have one).. don't just use your lusty mind....
Going for holiday is a luxury leisure activity, (not many families can do that all the time)... even to nearby countries are considered lucky for many...
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This is not a small matter. It's always the smallest things which turns into a big prob if it's not solved. Plus this is not solely about the holiday thingy. It's about how her husband always put his frenz & family in the first place instead of her. Talk to your husband. Does he really love you when he stopped the divorce? Or is it because he scared that it will spoil his image among his family & relatives?
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The matter is not of the holiday places, but more of not giving due regards to the wife. This makes one wonder what sort of a husband the man is. This disregard leads to resentment, and in turn affects other aspects of the marriage. The husband cannot live his life independent of the the wife, if he wants it that way, then the wife should also be independent of him.
The husband better mend his ways.
As for the married colleague, he is a predator, like a shark he sees a married woman in distress and goes in for the strike. TS should keep clear of him. He will adversely affect two marraiges, and complicates things.
TS should talk it out with the husband, about the marriage, and not about holiday destinations. Depending on the outcome, contemplate the next course of action.
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Should also let him know that he have neglected you
But... also beware that the husband, might TS find unapproachable, so in preference he have chosen apple instead of orange.
This might be the tip of an ice berg. Guys dont usually voice out his opinion and always keep in silence. But will erupt like a volcano, destroying everything instantly.
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i dun think it is a small matter
becos the husband was putting family and friends first
wife and daughter should be the family in the first place
where was his priority?
since now he relented, and is giving priority to the family
then the wife should make the family work
by affirming his need for the parents' family as well
and not cutting them off
the complication of the married man is just that.... a complication
he should not be in the picture at all
all these... is... if there is a common recognised agreed goal to make the family unit work and be kept intact -
Hi,
This marriage problem and the other guy, are two separate matters.
It is not neccessarily logical and continous that if you divorce your husband, you would be able to establish a real long term relation with the colleague. Not neccessarily like that.
Because your colleague is a married man. Maybe he also have problems at home. But it is unlikely that he would want to divorce his wife and marry you. Maybe he is just looking to paper-over his problems and seek distractions.
So dont neccessarily think you can break off from one and build another one with this new guy.
Regarding your marriage,
Have you talked deeper with your husband. I think he didnt give you enough attention. But one thing I notice is that he is willing to listen to you, after you complained seriously and threatened a divorce. So that means he is still willing to save the marriage and still willing to take corrective actions.
Maybe you see first how it goes with your relationship.......try talking more....
But I do not recommend continuing any romance with the colleague......because it is meaningless, pointless, and distracts you from finding out what you really want.
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Originally posted by ChoCoChips:
read again,
opps, really married colleague.
Like that sure just make use of you lah, TS, wake up. In this case, if I were to be a girl, I rather divorce and be single (If things are REALLY that bad) and open for other tenders.
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The only advise I can give you is to make a decision using logic.
Don't use feelings or emotion, most of the time it land you in deep shit.
Use logic.
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Originally posted by Fannao388:
I am married with a teenage daughter. I am not at all with my hubby since years back. He is always giving priority to his frds and family. If his frd or family and I were to make an appt on the same day same time he will tell me he has to go out with his frd or family .. and ask me to wait for the following week. However, due to his shift work, he has only one precious weekend every mth for us, and very often he give priority to his frds and family instead of me and daughter.
4-5 years back I nearly divorce him due to travelling plans. I have been wanting to go to Japan or Vietnam for years, but every year he will tell me next year we will go and every year he agree to wherever his family plan to go. Even the place that i hated most China and Taiwan. He keep asking me to wait for him to save up enough for my place but every time he will spend his saving going to places I dont really want to go. As our money are limited when we go to these other places my Japan and Vietnam got to wait for another year. I was very angry and after this last china trip with his family I said lets divorce I am not willing to wait endlessly for the place i want to go. Since his family do not support going to places that i wanted to go i also have no interest to go back every week too.
With this divorce, he suddenly has available cash to go Japan with us .. just the 3 of us family. and asked me to put off the divorce plan. and since then i havent been going back to his family for all the occasions not even chinese new year. Till now, none of the in law have ever called to asked me why.. they just treat as nothing happn so hubby 2 treat as ntg happen..
recently, a married colleague expressed interest in me // and he really treated me very well .. much better than my husband .. he said he dont want anything bad to happen to me (while my hubby keep saying if he is heaven he would like to let me be CHIAK LUK) i initially tried to pull out of the relationship..but pulling out had been rather difficult cos we get to see each other every day in the office. I am now thinking whether to continue or to pull out .. my brain say stop all these nonsense and my heart said go for it
how?
It's unfair to you and your daughter if he keeps on giving priorities to his friends and his side of the family.
As a man and a husband, he ought to put his foot down and be able to say 'no' to requests that are being put forward to him. He shouldnt be such an obliging man and say 'yes' everytime he is being asked to do something and expect his wife and daughter to compromise.
Thrash things out with him. But be rational and logical. Tell him how you feel and what you think went wrong between the both of you. Explain things clearly. Try to talk things out with him and solve the problems currently existing in your marriage. If need, seek a counsellor.
Yes, he may be in the wrong. But give him another chance to mend his ways. Even if you don't do it for yourself, do it on the account of your daughter.
I may not be in your shoes and i may not totally understand how you feel but i feel that you shouldn't give up on a marriage so easily.
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your husband sounds like a cunty man. anyway, i'm in no position to give you advice. i just want to lol at you saying divorce then he immidiately ham already. good job at creating a shortage which exerted an upward pressure on your price. but dont meet his qty supplied lah. at least not now. make him suffer more first.
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Sure u want a divorce becos ur husband doesnt bring u to where ever u want.Good move and dnt forget to blame it on the collegue later!
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Think about the child. I find this issue fuking weird. Seriously, THE FUCK? I don understand wtf you adults are thinking. And your reasoning is fail. You wanna cheat, so you give yourself reasons to by highlighting your Husband flaws, and u go to the internet forum hoping someone will reassure Your decision. Remember your wedding vows if u had any.
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no win situation i see here. one is hopeless marriage with a man who has been inconsiderate for a long time. now he is just trying to patch things up. that is pathetic. he should just remain hardcore inconsiderate. the other is a married man who is just trying his luck with a married woman (TS). oh well, some ppl just no luck. i think stick with marriage until something better comes along.... better than nothing... at least can go japan trip.
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What I percieve is two immature and irresponsible adults who got into marriage to get something out of it (each other).
U are holding on a ''dead'' relationship and marriage. However, leaving the matrimonial home is not the end of it all. U have many unresolved issues within u that needs to be dealt with. This is something that many ignore and repeat the same again.
Frankly all the trips that u fantasize may have materialized but sadly it would never have or in other ways enhanced your well being or contribute to the matrimony.
It is superficial and utterly dense to assume so.
Yes, ur spouse is inconsiderate and what-not . However, to blame him for what u are or what u feel is the same. U are not a kid that needs to be taken care of. His ways are merely an excuse for what is surfacing about you.
As for the so-called colleague who is interested in you, It is ok to share ''opinions'', ''feelings'' but to use this ''friendship'' to get something - then it is doomed. I am not encouraging licentiousness but prudence and discretion. Don't forget that he is married and it is tantamount to encroaching on one's marriage and it could create more chaos.
Would u tolerate this happening to a sibling or someone you care?
As for something or someone better than now - no such thing - it is a myth. U become what you seek and u may not find yourself miserable or ...
The mistake is not marriage - the mistake is looking for someone give you meaning, someone to fulfil you, someone to provide ... it is an insult and one is in bondage.
It is perfectly ok to leave the marriage - but it is never ok to blame your spouse or seek someone to save you. That responsiblity is always yours - married or unmarried does not matter! when u are alright and can be alone and yet want to seek to be with someone or do sth with another - u are being responsbile, u are no longer depending but in a position to share to give and that is freeing
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maturity.... 'married and have children' does not equate maturity, probably equates experience.
Maturity doesn't equate experience.
experience is a subset of maturity.
think with your heart and brain...what about your children?
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Originally posted by Fannao388:
I am married with a teenage daughter. I am not at all with my hubby since years back. He is always giving priority to his frds and family. If his frd or family and I were to make an appt on the same day same time he will tell me he has to go out with his frd or family .. and ask me to wait for the following week. However, due to his shift work, he has only one precious weekend every mth for us, and very often he give priority to his frds and family instead of me and daughter.
4-5 years back I nearly divorce him due to travelling plans. I have been wanting to go to Japan or Vietnam for years, but every year he will tell me next year we will go and every year he agree to wherever his family plan to go. Even the place that i hated most China and Taiwan. He keep asking me to wait for him to save up enough for my place but every time he will spend his saving going to places I dont really want to go. As our money are limited when we go to these other places my Japan and Vietnam got to wait for another year. I was very angry and after this last china trip with his family I said lets divorce I am not willing to wait endlessly for the place i want to go. Since his family do not support going to places that i wanted to go i also have no interest to go back every week too.
With this divorce, he suddenly has available cash to go Japan with us .. just the 3 of us family. and asked me to put off the divorce plan. and since then i havent been going back to his family for all the occasions not even chinese new year. Till now, none of the in law have ever called to asked me why.. they just treat as nothing happn so hubby 2 treat as ntg happen..
recently, a married colleague expressed interest in me // and he really treated me very well .. much better than my husband .. he said he dont want anything bad to happen to me (while my hubby keep saying if he is heaven he would like to let me be CHIAK LUK) i initially tried to pull out of the relationship..but pulling out had been rather difficult cos we get to see each other every day in the office. I am now thinking whether to continue or to pull out .. my brain say stop all these nonsense and my heart said go for it
how?
Wow, it is a good thing I decided not to get a Singaporean gf. I am glad I hv a Malaysian gf. Singaporean women, sigh very troublesome and demanding.Go to China also want divorce. Wah, so hard to satisfy them. Husband like a sugar daddy only to the wife.