haunted by the law.
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i just needed somewhere to voice out and it dont know which category i were to put mine in.
im scared and ashamed to put up this, but i want to share this with just somebody who wants to listen.it has been days since i lodged a police report against a guy whom i just met and has raped me.almost every night i have nightmares, cant sleep and im dazed. i heard i was down with post stress trauma disorder, whatever that is, but i know im slowly picking up my strength.i would be going to the psychiatrist this 30th.
the horrifying experience has passed,but i fl that ive been raped all over again by the law.after trying to remember every bit that i could, i was harshly interrogated by the officers. i was labelled a liar and the i.o treated me like a dog.i was very shaken by all the shoutings at me, by people around me.i was so confused.the i.o asked me to rethink about my situation but i did not budge, i thought " who was the victim here and what wrong have i done?" and she left me for a long while,in which i discovered she used my parents to force me to tell the "truth".she also told me that she would only give a warning if i said the "truth".
what "truth"?. my parents had a hard time convincing me and consoling me and i had a hard time trying to remember the sequence of events.after telling what really had happened, i guess they still suspect me of making false claims. however, when i was in the first session of interview, the faggot came and surrendered himself after my brother and him had a verbal fight outside the police station.
im really tired of all this and i just want to put this dark past behind me and move on.if i had known i would never have reported to the police.i never wanted to mess with the law, but because of my bestfriend and her mum's advice, i did not know why i entered that police stn.
i thought it would help somehow, but instead its a new nightmare for me.im treated like a criminal and it doesnt help that i am scared to go out anymore,im scared of unknown places and people.i just want my family around and accompanied by them.when people look at me, i feel that they could see right into me, that i was raped,i feel dirty and used. i no longer feel i can do anything else but to avoid their looks and now my father told me that the i.o would sent me for lie-detector test.ive read about the cruelty of lie detectors, but why use it on me??
im trying to forget the past but im just haunted by all these. i just want all these to stop and move on.is there anyway i can stop this?its either the i.o wants me to drop the case but now i dont know what the i.o wants, maybe another "truth" which i dont know what else.
help me pls, will writing a letter to someone in the law help me get out of this and drop the case.i dont care about the faggot, i just want my life back. :'(
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i think u need to see a psychiatrist as well.
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yes u shud. else u can never lead a proper and normal life.
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the psychiatrist can never help me out of this... and i dont know how this will end. it all seems like im waiting for death. i think its better off dead than going thru all this.. now all of them will think all my life ive been living as a liar..
i dont know.. i just hate the law now.. and to all those out there who were scared to report tt you were violated. better dont.. i guess its better offguard, its shameful but its better than having to go through all the tests, them poking inside you, injections to take your blood, calling you a liar and your family gets the shame.you never get believed and tts why now im called for lie detector.
it is torture after torture after torture.
im frustrated.
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The rapist deserved to be punished by the law !
Certainly you wouldn't want another innocent gal to get harmed, rite?
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Rape victim being treated like a suspect? Hmm...this is something new.
Sorry about your ordeal. Maybe we don't understand how you feel and what you are going through. However, should you need to vent your fustration, we will be more than willing to do so.
BTW, SPF FTW!!! You can't tell the rapist and the victim apart anymore. Somehow I don't feel safe living in a place I call home anymore. People get bashed up and it is none of your biz cuz it is non-sizeable. Rape victim treated worse than the suspect. Cases which are deemed too minor for you are never solved or not looked into. Vehicles are being vandalised and you can't do anything cuz there's no way you can check.
However, you are able to catch speed offenders, opposition politicians and what not?
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Originally posted by traumatizdleo:
the psychiatrist can never help me out of this... and i dont know how this will end. it all seems like im waiting for death. i think its better off dead than going thru all this.. now all of them will think all my life ive been living as a liar..
i dont know.. i just hate the law now.. and to all those out there who were scared to report tt you were violated. better dont.. i guess its better offguard, its shameful but its better than having to go through all the tests, them poking inside you, injections to take your blood, calling you a liar and your family gets the shame.you never get believed and tts why now im called for lie detector.
it is torture after torture after torture.
im frustrated.
ok. Try this. take the lie detector test, and prove that you are right, end of story.
You've read about the cruelty of the lie detector test. it's not true. it is just another interview to get your story. you are stronger than that.
One thing you have to keep in mind.... Any person who is convicted of rape WILL go to jail, and WILL get caned. so the police have to make sure. They are NOT treating you like a criminal. they are asking you the questions to make the case clear. don't take it that way.
Now, it feels like someone committed a crime, and you are in jail for it. This rape case is like a jail for you, trapping you in many ways. Make it right, so that the guy who committed the crime WILL be the one who go to jail, and than you will be set free, and leave the matter behind you.
Talk to a psychiatrist.
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Originally posted by bratpig:
Rape victim being treated like a suspect? Hmm...this is something new.
Sorry about your ordeal. Maybe we don't understand how you feel and what you are going through. However, should you need to vent your fustration, we will be more than willing to do so.
BTW, SPF FTW!!! You can't tell the rapist and the victim apart anymore. Somehow I don't feel safe living in a place I call home anymore. People get bashed up and it is none of your biz cuz it is non-sizeable. Rape victim treated worse than the suspect. Cases which are deemed too minor for you are never solved or not looked into. Vehicles are being vandalised and you can't do anything cuz there's no way you can check.
However, you are able to catch speed offenders, opposition politicians and what not?
hey hey, don't jump to conclusion.
When the police check your ID on the street, they are just doing their job, not trying to find trouble with you. But some people will feel uncomfortable, and think that the police is treating people like a criminal. That of course, is not true, they are just doing their job properly. Don't get too offended or be too sensitive about it. -
You again
Haha.Ever tried being bashed up by someone and make a police report? Because section 323 is non-sizeable, your friendly neighbourhood police uncle will tell you to file a magistrate order or what shiet cuz they can't do anything. They can only do something should you at least be crippled lying on the hospital bed. I'm not lying, go read up your law.
Ever tried reporting a vandalism case whereby the car you had saved so hard to buy got vandalised by some creeps/scums/etc? They will tell you not to place too much hope since nobody witness the incident.
Based on what TS said. Do you think a rape victim should be treated like a suspect instead? Why not follow some countries and stone the rape victim to death instead? I think the victim would at least die and not suffer the pains.
Of course police may be limited by the laws. However, I don't see why they should be called law-enforcement officers when the law doesn't even bestow them with suitable power?
Btw, ever tried giving a statement to a police officer? Not once, not twice but based on many experiences and different officers? Most of the times, you feel like killing yourself on the spot. Haha. But suicide is illegal btw.
Of course there may be good officers. Just my luck that I didn't meet any
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Originally posted by skythewood:
hey hey, don't jump to conclusion.
When the police check your ID on the street, they are just doing their job, not trying to find trouble with you. But some people will feel uncomfortable, and think that the police is treating people like a criminal. That of course, is not true, they are just doing their job properly. Don't get too offended or be too sensitive about it.
Dude, since when I mentioned that I get offended by police checking my ID?
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Originally posted by bratpig:
Dude, since when I mentioned that I get offended by police checking my ID?
nope, i am explaining why she might feel she was treated like a criminal. She did not provide any examples of how she was treated like a criminal. So it could be that she feel that the police questioning her on the events, which she mentioned that the police did, made her feel like she was treated like a criminal. -
sorry to hijack. I just wanted to find out something.
IF the BOYFRIEND forces himself on his girlfriend against her will, is it considered rape? And if, after the act, the boyfriend apologises, says that he did it because he loved her too much, and the girlfriend believes him and forgives him, has a rape actually taken place?
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Originally posted by bratpig:
You again
Haha.Ever tried being bashed up by someone and make a police report? Because section 323 is non-sizeable, your friendly neighbourhood police uncle will tell you to file a magistrate order or what shiet cuz they can't do anything. They can only do something should you at least be crippled lying on the hospital bed. I'm not lying, go read up your law.
Ever tried reporting a vandalism case whereby the car you had saved so hard to buy got vandalised by some creeps/scums/etc? They will tell you not to place too much hope since nobody witness the incident.
Based on what TS said. Do you think a rape victim should be treated like a suspect instead? Why not follow some countries and stone the rape victim to death instead? I think the victim would at least die and not suffer the pains.
Of course police may be limited by the laws. However, I don't see why they should be called law-enforcement officers when the law doesn't even bestow them with suitable power?
Btw, ever tried giving a statement to a police officer? Not once, not twice but based on many experiences and different officers? Most of the times, you feel like killing yourself on the spot. Haha. But suicide is illegal btw.
Of course there may be good officers. Just my luck that I didn't meet any
Who again?
I know the law well enough. you can talk to your MP about the stuff and suggest improvement. Please keep in mind that as an police officer, they should not jump to any conclusion. If someone came to make a police report that they were beaten up, when the actual fact was that he was beaten up because the other guy was defending himself, the police would not know. and they should not assume too.
Police officer have to be fair to all. If the police start arresting people when any one makes a report, you will see many complains about wrongful arrest instead.
I don't think TS should be treated as a suspect, and i don't think she was. Maybe she was confused and gave some contradicting account of what happened, and the officer asked her again to double confirm. I don't know, I wasn't there, and i shall not assume.
I hope TS will be strong and get through this.
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Originally posted by Hellraiza:
sorry to hijack. I just wanted to find out something.
IF the BOYFRIEND forces himself on his girlfriend against her will, is it considered rape? And if, after the act, the boyfriend apologises, says that he did it because he loved her too much, and the girlfriend believes him and forgives him, has a rape actually taken place?
Technically, the rape have taken place.
But the girl did not report it.
Guess this will be classified as settled out of court.
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I suspect there's more to the case than this. however if what was said was all true and all that happened, then my sympathies
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Originally posted by skythewood:
Technically, the rape have taken place.
But the girl did not report it.
Guess this will be classified as settled out of court.
+1 for justice
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something new i hearing, usually in SG police side woman because of women's charter. How come this case is funny?
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police is now screwed up lah. good luck to you lor.. what can i say.
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Originally posted by emman-7-:
police is now screwed up lah. good luck to you lor.. what can i say.
Too bad the police is not psychic like you, one look and you can tell who is telling the truth, and pass judgement immediately.
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Well, we would not want anyone just be jailed for not doing anything wrong... would we?
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Can see you are trying for a outlet of your frustration.
Treated like a dog and so on.
I dont exactly see that you are trying to put the blame where it should be, since afterall, your brother had a quarral with that so called rapist and he surrendered. Its obvious you already gotten over the event. And its now the police that is frustrating you.
If you have not walked into the police station, and your brother has not had that fight. Will it have been all right? Or was that whole 'fiasco' all right?
No one here is begrudging you for your courage to make the report. You however is begrudging the police officer for doubting your credibility.
If you cannot handle the police officer or the I.O being doubtful. What are your chances of facing the people around you, the neighbours, the friends, the cousins and whichever faceless people on the street to look at you and doubt you at the moment before they even hear you speak? Not forgetting the judges, the opposing lawyers and your own self.
Your above is a psychological problem right now that needs to be tackled first before you want to look at the law and how to move on your life.
Because, ultimately, if you cannot move on yourself. The law cannot help you.
And if you are not comfortable with this I.O. Request to have her changed out. And make sure your statements and your future dealings to the new IO is fair and unbiased.
And if you cannot change out the IO. Get yourself a good lawyer that can move things for the IO to treat you better.
Some of us has dealt with our rape differently and has moved on to other things in life. But if you restrict yourself to feeling shortchanged in life, you are limiting your own potential.
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BTW, this forum and plenty of other forums have quacks.
1. They might PM you for more 'juicy' details for their own fun.
2. They might PM you to meet up in effort to 'console/counsel/make friends' with you. If they claim they are gals and they are not. I think you know what they are up to.
3. If they are guys, some may be geniune, but some may be 'genuine to offer you consolations' which is in might mean they want to 'help you with your confidence with sex and your future bfs' kinda thing.
4. If they are guys again, some may be contacting you to console you, offer their friendship and provide the excuse that they have no sexual intentions except to help you, which brings up their own self worth that they are offering 'charity'. I leave that up to you to decide how you want to accept this kinda 'friends'.
5. Some females may be contacting you trying to tell you their experiences and how they overcome their issues. Frankly, talking about it, and listening to other people's experience might help. But if you dont want that kinda attention, then by all means mention it for all to see.
~~~
My offer as follows:
1) I am not a licenced nor qualified counsellor or therapists. I can at most advice you on some matters and let you cry on my shoulders.
2) I can accompany you to some events, since I am currently unemployed and doing some errands and stuffs.
3) I have a big bunch of people that can maybe introduce you to a different lifestyle if you want to become my temporary BFF. They might not be within your social circle so you get a chance to move on out from your regular routine.
4) I need you to commit to at least three of my activities, thats to get you learning new skills and get out of the house.
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ive read all of your opinions. yes i guess it is really a fight within myself, to get my life sorted out again.well law is law, and yeah whatever those people in the profession want to carry out their duty, so it shall be.
it is now to much realization for me that we do have our rights, but sometimes this law people do not explain to us the greenhorns about what is going on. definitely my i.o did not tell me and i had to find out through other means.
and thank you for the offer, VK.i agree to your opinions and what i should do.slowly but surely i would pick myself up.
i think the police can question the credibility of my statement as much as they want, put me through polygraphing and no matter what the result is,i will have my stand.
i am not going to allow any other innocent girls to be trapped like me.
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listen to kitty okay? the fat motorcycle bitch is speaking from experience
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TS, are you gay?, because you said this:
"i dont care about the faggot, i just want my life back. :'( "
"Faggot or fag, in modern North American and Australian English is a word, and can be a highly pejorative term, for a gay or effeminate man."