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The Ultimate Thesis of Qian4Bian3 jokes

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  • whereismyrib's Avatar
    1,242 posts since Nov '05
    • A man was sitting in an aeroplane seat when he noticed his old
      friend sitting behind him. The man immediately got up and greeted
      this friend behind him. After that, the pilot made an announcement.
      The man, realising that the pilot was also his friend, went to the
      c ockpit to greet the pilot, who happened to have the same name as
      his old friend. However, the man was taken away by the FBI and CIA
      after he greeted the pilot. Why?

      Ans: HI JACK!

      Laughing Laughing Laughing

      Osama bin Ladin, W. George Bush, Saddam Hussein and Tony Blair were
      playing mahjong. Who wins 1st?

      Ans: Saddam, cuz he 'hu xian' (Chinese)

      Laughing Laughing Laughing

      Someone accidentally dropped a dumpling onto the ground. Who will
      pick up the dumpling?

      Ans: Xiang Long Shi Ba Zang (Descending Dragon pick up Dumpling)

    • How do prawns laugh?

      Ans: Hei hei hei (prawn)

      Laughing Laughing Laughing

      Which Chinese Emperor in history is bilnd?

      Ans: Kang Xi (Can't see)

      Laughing Laughing Laughing

      Which Chinese host dun hav centre parting?

      Ans: Wu Zong Xian (Jacky Wu)

      Laughing Laughing Laughing

      Why can't foxes (hu li) climb trees?

      Ans: Because foxes are 'Jiao3 Hua2'

      Edited by whereismyrib 02 Dec `05, 3:20AM
    • Once upon a time there are 2 bros Da Ming and Xiao Ming. Xiao Ming grew up by drinking milk everyday. What does Da Ming drink, then?

      Ans: Wine (Jiu3 Yang3 Da4 Ming2)

      Laughing Laughing Laughing

      Among Xiao Hong, Xiao Bai, Xiao Hei, Xiao Lan, Xiao Huang, who cannot tahan roller-coasters?

      Ans: Xiao Bai!! Cuz Xiao Bai Tu!! (little white rabbit) which also means xiao bai vomits

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    261,148 posts since Dec '99
  • Moderator
    Gordonator's Avatar
    43,270 posts since Jul '04
    • LOL not bad. Laughing

      btw for the question 'Which Chinese host dun hav centre parting?'

      Jacky's surname should be Wu not Ng.

    • Originally posted by FireIce:
      all hear before liao

      got new one onot

      u watch a lot of taiwan variety shows right? especially from kang kang. Laughing

  • Queen of sgForums
    驚世駭俗醜不啦嘰 moderatress
    FireIce's Avatar
    261,148 posts since Dec '99
    • Originally posted by Gordonator:
      u watch a lot of taiwan variety shows right? especially from kang kang. Laughing

      not relli

      i get them in my emails
      and hear from my frens.....

  • whereismyrib's Avatar
    1,242 posts since Nov '05
    • Originally posted by FireIce:
      all hear before liao

      got new one onot

      If you got new one, remember to share with us hor!

      Edited by whereismyrib 30 Nov `05, 11:24PM
  • stellazio's Avatar
    47,788 posts since Apr '05
  • whereismyrib's Avatar
    1,242 posts since Nov '05
    • Originally posted by stellazio:
      i know alot of these jokes got play during those taiwanese shows.. Laughing

      You must be super fan of those taiwanese variety shows.

      Share with us lo. Laughing

  • kalangkabo's Avatar
    890 posts since Aug '03
    • Originally posted by FireIce:
      all hear before liao

      got new one onot

      i neber hear before leh...
      what are the answers?
      Question Question Question

  • angelfairy's Avatar
    529 posts since Dec '05
  • kalangkabo's Avatar
    890 posts since Aug '03
    • Originally posted by angelfairy:
      um..highlight the part after "Answer": its in white

      ah Idea
      dumb dumb me... Razz

  • Moderator
    Gordonator's Avatar
    43,270 posts since Jul '04
    • Originally posted by stellazio:
      i know alot of these jokes got play during those taiwanese shows.. Laughing

      especially from kang kang. Laughing

  • whereismyrib's Avatar
    1,242 posts since Nov '05
    • Originally posted by Gordonator:
      LOL not bad. Laughing

      btw for the question 'Which Chinese host dun hav centre parting?'

      Jacky's surname should be Wu not Ng.

      I have corrected it.

  • heavenscloud's Avatar
    933 posts since Oct '04
    • Q.One day there's this really old horse walking along a road. Suddenly, he stopped. Why?

      A: He just realised he is a toy horse.

  • whereismyrib's Avatar
    1,242 posts since Nov '05
    • Originally posted by heavenscloud:
      Q.One day there's this really old horse walking along a road. Suddenly, he stopped. Why?

      A: He just realised he is a toy horse.

      I never know the horse can walk. Laughing Actually what is the correct term to use huh? I forget liao.

    • An ant knocks the door of a HDB flat. House owner opens the door. "I want a place to stay", said the ant . "I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost", said the owner. Ant went inside and occupied that vacant room. After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the owner "Can you please allow this ant to stay along with me". "Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent" said the owner. After some days the ant brought one more ant and requested the owner to allow that ant to stay with it. Owner agreed to it without asking for any rent. This continued i.e ant brings in one more ant and owner agrees for it. On one fine day, the ant brought in tenth ant and requested the owner to allow that tenth ant also to stay with it. The owner said "Ok, you all can stay here but you need to pay rent". Now the question is Why did the owner ask for rent when the tenth ant came in?

      Ans: Because they are now Tenants (Ten ants)

      Edited by whereismyrib 07 Dec `05, 2:47AM
  • kenshin_himura's Avatar
    1,275 posts since Oct '02
    • Originally posted by whereismyrib:
      An ant knocks the door of a HDB flat. House owner opens the door. "I want a place to stay", said the ant . "I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost", said the owner. Ant went inside and occupied that vacant room. After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the owner "Can you please allow this ant to stay along with me". "Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent" said the owner. After some days the ant brought one more ant and requested the owner to allow that ant to stay with it. Owner agreed to it without asking for any rent. This continued i.e ant brings in one more ant and owner agrees for it. On one fine day, the ant brought in tenth ant and requested the owner to allow that tenth ant also to stay with it. The owner said "Ok, you all can stay here but you need to pay rent". Now the question is Why did the owner ask for rent when the tenth ant came in?

      Ans: (will be given later) does anyone know the answer?

      tenants Mr. Green

  • Moderator
    Gordonator's Avatar
    43,270 posts since Jul '04
    • Idea How do u know which of the 8 tentacles of an Octopus are it's hands and which are it's legs?

      Ans: Arrow Knock the octopus on its head, the tectacles that rasies to massage its head are its hands.

  • whereismyrib's Avatar
    1,242 posts since Nov '05
    • Originally posted by kenshin_himura:
      tenants Mr. Green

      You are right. Mr. Green I guess you have heard before ba.

      Since you are the only contestant, I shall put up the answer now.

  • kenshin_himura's Avatar
    1,275 posts since Oct '02
    • Originally posted by whereismyrib:
      You are right. Mr. Green I guess you have heard before ba.

      Since you are the only contestant, I shall put up the answer now.

      lol never hear be4 leh.. just came to my mind 10 ants = tenants Mr. Green

  • whereismyrib's Avatar
    1,242 posts since Nov '05
    • Originally posted by kenshin_himura:
      lol never hear be4 leh.. just came to my mind 10 ants = tenants Mr. Green

      *Thumb up*

    • Why is fish cunning ?
      Ans: cos yu pian mi fen (fish lie to bee hoon) actual :fish beehoon

      Laughing Laughing Laughing

      Why Zhou Jie Lun Cross the Street Kana fine by police?
      Ans: Cos Jay Walking actual :english name is Jay Chow

      Laughing Laughing Laughing

      How does a fish laugh?
      Ans: HE HE HE

      Laughing Laughing Laughing

      Which animal should you look for if you're unable to open a bottle cap?
      Ans: peac ock, cos kong que kai ping (peac ock open bottle)

      Laughing Laughing Laughing

      Why baby don't need to brush teeth?
      Ans: cos bei bi wu chi (baby no teeth) actual :despicable

  • Moderator
    Gordonator's Avatar
    43,270 posts since Jul '04
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