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Words Of Wisdom From A Man!

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  • GIB's Avatar
    800 posts since Dec '05
    • 1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember what I chose.
       
      2. Consider your birth certificate as an apology letter from the condom factory.
       
      3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
       
      4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'
       
      5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.
       
      6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
       
      7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.
       
      8. Great news . . . Virginity can be cured !!!
       
      9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
       
      10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
       
      11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
       
      12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
       
      13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
             A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
       
      14. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
             A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't want to.
       
      16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
             A: Breasts don't have eyes.
       
      17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!!

      Edited by GIB 15 Jul `08, 9:56PM
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