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Work Conduct

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  • GIB's Avatar
    845 posts since Dec '05
    • Dear All:

      It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
      throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
      of normal conversation with their colleagues.

      Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
      offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

      We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to
      accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.

      Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases has
      been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
      continue in an effective manner
      Thanks,
      Steve

      1.

      Try Saying:

      I think you could do with more training

      Instead Of:

      You don't have a fucking clue, do you?


      2.

      Try Saying:

      She's an aggressive go-getter.

      Instead Of:

      She's a fucking power-crazy bitch


      3.

      Try Saying:

      Perhaps I can work late

      Instead Of:

      And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?


      4.

      Try Saying:

      I'm certain that isn't feasible

      Instead Of:

      Fuck off arse-wipe


      5.

      Try Saying:

      Really?

      Instead Of:

      Well fuck me backwards with a telegraph pole


      6.

      Try Saying:

      Perhaps you should check with...

      Instead Of:

      Tell someone who gives a fuck.


      7.

      Try Saying:

      I wasn't involved in the project.

      Instead Of:

      Not my fucking problem, mate.


      8.

      Try Saying:

      That's interesting.

      Instead Of:

      What the fuck?


      9.

      Try Saying:

      I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.

      Instead Of:

      No fucking chance mate.


      10.

      Try Saying:

      It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in

      Instead Of:

      Why the fuck didn't you tell me that yesterday?


      11.

      Try Saying:

      He's not familiar with the issues

      Instead Of:

      He's got his head up his fucking arse.


      12.

      Try Saying:

      Excuse me, sir?

      Instead Of:

      Oi, fuck face.


      13.

      Try Saying:

      Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway

      Instead Of:

      Yeah, who needs fucking holidays anyway.

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