Why my husband did this to me?
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Everybody said that IÂ’m a fortunate woman, I love him so much, I sacrifice myself, my career to become a full time house wife and birth him two child. And this is what I deserve? My husband was seeing a young girl, she was only 19yrs and IÂ’m 39yrs.
Recently he bought a new hand phone Olio 2288 which he say its from USA, messages started to increase, I asked him, and he said that he was communicating with his boss, I tried checking his hp but I couldnÂ’t find anything, I donÂ’t believe it.
I went to a mobile shop and ask for the same model, IÂ’m shock when the sale assistant told me that this latest hp which got a special confidential folders feature which could stall your confidential contacts info, and when they contact you or you contact them, the normal inbox/outbox or call records show nothing, only when a pin was enter than you could read it. He was stupid to use our ROM date as the pin! Why he forsaken our love and our family, was it my fault to grow old, can I forgive him if he break off with that girl? -
if he can use your ROM date as a pin, it means he still treasure u mah.
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it can also mean that he is smart enough to use the ROM date...if U look from another view.Originally posted by lurve:if he can use your ROM date as a pin, it means he still treasure u mah. -
Perhaps you already have an answer and only need support for your decision. However, you ought to know that there would be a change in your relationship. How the future would be all depends on how strong you can deal with the reality. If you can deal with life on your own, whether or not forgiving him does not make much difference.
I feel what you should do now is not to think about whether you should forgive him or not YET. You should be planning for yourself now. What would you do if you choose to leave? Do you have a job? Maybe while you still aren't alone physically, get a job. Prove to yourself you are capable of taking care of yourself and your children. Also, would you want yourself to be dependent as being a housewife now? Man are usually very silly. They look for youth and beauty. Maybe because you have been taken for granted after so many years. IF you still carry on with him, what would you do to radiate that beauty again? I guess the difference now maybe is cause (I dunno how true. Just deduce.) you feel that you are married already. Your husband loves you for who you are. But forgot that after sometime, not taking care of yourself will make you unhappy inside and then reflects on your natural beauty dimming the radiance it used to have. SO Bring that out again. Oh yah. Since he has extra cash for dating the young lady, he probably has extra cash for you to go beautify yourself. Use iT!
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maybe it's just a moment of folly that he falls into the temptation of a young girl? Like maybe he's having a mid-life crisis?
Well, i really do hope it's just a passing fling and he'd realised at the end of the day that you are the one he truly loves and will appreciate all the sacrifices you've made for him.
Hang in there and stay strong. -
Hi Michelle_sad,Originally posted by Michelle_sad:Everybody said that IÂ’m a fortunate woman, I love him so much, I sacrifice myself, my career to become a full time house wife and birth him two child. And this is what I deserve? My husband was seeing a young girl, she was only 19yrs and IÂ’m 39yrs.
Recently he bought a new hand phone Olio 2288 which he say its from USA, messages started to increase, I asked him, and he said that he was communicating with his boss, I tried checking his hp but I couldnÂ’t find anything, I donÂ’t believe it.
I went to a mobile shop and ask for the same model, IÂ’m shock when the sale assistant told me that this latest hp which got a special confidential folders feature which could stall your confidential contacts info, and when they contact you or you contact them, the normal inbox/outbox or call records show nothing, only when a pin was enter than you could read it. He was stupid to use our ROM date as the pin! Why he forsaken our love and our family, was it my fault to grow old, can I forgive him if he break off with that girl?
If you think that your husband is doing something behind your back.. you suspected it.. why not confront him?? At least let him have a chance to explain what's goin on.. rather than "sentenced him to death" right away.. Both of you are married with kids.. This is not jus you and him.. is the family.. and your kids.. think for them too..
If he really mean to hide anything from you.. he wouldn't be so stupid to use the ROM dte as a password.. This means that you still mean to him much.. There's might be a reason why he doing this.. Maybe he doesn't want to hurt you.. and maybe settling with this girl and planning to break off with her?? If there's so much doubt in you..Sit down and have a talk with him.. Don't quarrel.. Communication is very important for you..
Everyone will aged.. don't blame yourself on that.. it's not your fault.. someday that 19 year old girl will be 39 too.. Even being a housewife.. you should also. always upgrade yourself and catch up with the world.. Maybe change your dressing.. your hairstyle.. know more about the world outside.. rather than your world is only on your home and kids.. Now, time changes.. guys no longer like their wives to be like last time..
Hope you are feeling much better! Don't worry.. you both have gone this far.. do not spoilt this marriage jus be cos of one lady out there who is younger than you.. her needs and your needs are different.. What she can give to your hubby is different from you.. Like commitments and responsibilities.. Remember she's young..
Cheers..
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X2Originally posted by SunRisE:Hi Michelle_sad,
If you think that your husband is doing something behind your back.. you suspected it.. why not confront him?? At least let him have a chance to explain what's goin on.. rather than "sentenced him to death" right away.. Both of you are married with kids.. This is not jus you and him.. is the family.. and your kids.. think for them too..
If he really mean to hide anything from you.. he wouldn't be so stupid to use the ROM dte as a password.. This means that you still mean to him much.. There's might be a reason why he doing this.. Maybe he doesn't want to hurt you.. and maybe settling with this girl and planning to break off with her?? If there's so much doubt in you..Sit down and have a talk with him.. Don't quarrel.. Communication is very important for you..
Everyone will aged.. don't blame yourself on that.. it's not your fault.. someday that 19 year old girl will be 39 too.. Even being a housewife.. you should also. always upgrade yourself and catch up with the world.. Maybe change your dressing.. your hairstyle.. know more about the world outside.. rather than your world is only on your home and kids.. Now, time changes.. guys no longer like their wives to be like last time..
Hope you are feeling much better! Don't worry.. you both have gone this far.. do not spoilt this marriage jus be cos of one lady out there who is younger than you.. her needs and your needs are different.. What she can give to your hubby is different from you.. Like commitments and responsibilities.. Remember she's young..
Cheers.. -
i oso haf tis problem in my family i guess.. cos i read my dad's inbox.. dammit... realli lost my respect for him liao.. used to be quite obedient 1. now dun even wanna listen to him liao. guess wad i see.. i see msg calling honey, those love love pic msg.. and even pic msg of ppl farking.. i dunno why they do tis.. i dun think they wanna set this as an example to the children bah.. somemore both my parents are reaching 50 liao!
seeing them drift apart but dunno wad me as the 2nd child can do.. both of them hardly talks. even my maid talks to my dad more.. dammit.. wad can me and my bro do.. my mum still dunno wadz going on.. she less knowledgeable to these hp technology de.. sigh..
seriously i feel sorry for u.. but hope everything will turn up fine for u and ur children.. all the best big jiejie -
So sorry you are going through this
...it is really tough on you...hang in there and try and calm down.
Take some time to think things through before you act...first priority should be you and what you want for urself and ur children...then you should talk to him if you havent yet...let him know you know about it..and communicate calmly with him....
if you decide to work on getting the marriage back again then I suggest you both go for some sort of counselling together...I seen my friends go through this and counselling really helped them...hopefully it will help you to..
Good luck.... -
Originally posted by Michelle_sad:Everybody said that IÂ’m a fortunate woman, I love him so much, I sacrifice myself, my career to become a full time house wife and birth him two child. And this is what I deserve? My husband was seeing a young girl, she was only 19yrs and IÂ’m 39yrs.
Recently he bought a new hand phone Olio 2288 which he say its from USA, messages started to increase, I asked him, and he said that he was communicating with his boss, I tried checking his hp but I couldnÂ’t find anything, I donÂ’t believe it.
I went to a mobile shop and ask for the same model, IÂ’m shock when the sale assistant told me that this latest hp which got a special confidential folders feature which could stall your confidential contacts info, and when they contact you or you contact them, the normal inbox/outbox or call records show nothing, only when a pin was enter than you could read it. He was stupid to use our ROM date as the pin! Why he forsaken our love and our family, was it my fault to grow old, can I forgive him if he break off with that girl?
I've heard this before from my colleagues, sad story but it's all up to your husband. And the girl, she is still young and I guess she's single, and from my view young girls only want to have fun wif older married men because married men understand young girls better and they know what young girls want in life, eg. care, concern, communication, companion, abit of control, compromise, attention, adventure, etc. In addition some married men are much more secured than a single guy, they've got all the 5Cs, so the chances of having another affair is there as you can see, especially those married men who never stop exploring things in their career and life 
I can only suggest to you to talk to him or her, ask him what he really needs from you, try to understand and compromise, I guess from all the things he's done is to get some serious attention from you, may be you're busy wif your kids all this while and you didn't even notice that your husband needs attention from you too. Honesty is the best policy when talking to each other to solve this problem, it's ok to do it now because it's not too late you see...... There is a reason why he's doing this... and it all comes from you, ask yourself... and think about it again...and ask him and solve things out.
Think about your kids .. it's not easy ...
Wish you good luck 
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when marital problems exist between parents, the kids inevitably get affected.Originally posted by Itachi:i oso haf tis problem in my family i guess.. cos i read my dad's inbox.. dammit... realli lost my respect for him liao.. used to be quite obedient 1. now dun even wanna listen to him liao. guess wad i see.. i see msg calling honey, those love love pic msg.. and even pic msg of ppl farking.. i dunno why they do tis.. i dun think they wanna set this as an example to the children bah.. somemore both my parents are reaching 50 liao!
seeing them drift apart but dunno wad me as the 2nd child can do.. both of them hardly talks. even my maid talks to my dad more.. dammit.. wad can me and my bro do.. my mum still dunno wadz going on.. she less knowledgeable to these hp technology de.. sigh..
seriously i feel sorry for u.. but hope everything will turn up fine for u and ur children.. all the best big jiejie
I can empathise that cuz that's what happened to my parents too. But as I was much older, I think I handled it pretty well. But I feel sorry for my little sister who was only 7yrs old at that time. The whole affair left a very bad mark in her life and now she's very cynical about marriage. -
So u used the pin number and what messages did u saw?
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-_- Obviously you don't know how to read..Originally posted by otacon:So u used the pin number and what messages did u saw? -
wow............
im sorry to hear that -
go confront him face to face... c wat he say lor...
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Sorry to make light of the situation, but that's what happens when you snag the 'good' and 'stable' guy I guess (since everyone had told you how fortunate you were marrying him)
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No sympathies for you nor him, I'm afraid. I'll reserve them for your kids. -
Yo, tot starletz is toking nonsence. (dun flame me).
Firstly, i dun quite get the picture. Michelle, u said only that the pin is your ROM date, but whats the content of the inbox sms?
It might be due to your hubby working in a job needing security clearance.
Like DSTA, defence, SIA, some GOVERNMENT industry. I know many of my friends working inside who need security clearance 1,2 dunno what etc. And they check your family background and issue you their own pager, handphones EVEN and etc.
So may not be what you think actually. -
You should get yourself a lover too.
Post ur request at the Bar.. sure there will be plenty for you to pick on.
anyone have a pic of that Olio phone, got to get that phone too.
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What is the brand of the phone btw, olio??
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Well... If you dun trust him, it is better to leave... Actually, it is best that you two sit down face to face and have a talkOriginally posted by Michelle_sad:Everybody said that IÂ’m a fortunate woman, I love him so much, I sacrifice myself, my career to become a full time house wife and birth him two child. And this is what I deserve? My husband was seeing a young girl, she was only 19yrs and IÂ’m 39yrs.
Recently he bought a new hand phone Olio 2288 which he say its from USA, messages started to increase, I asked him, and he said that he was communicating with his boss, I tried checking his hp but I couldnÂ’t find anything, I donÂ’t believe it.
I went to a mobile shop and ask for the same model, IÂ’m shock when the sale assistant told me that this latest hp which got a special confidential folders feature which could stall your confidential contacts info, and when they contact you or you contact them, the normal inbox/outbox or call records show nothing, only when a pin was enter than you could read it. He was stupid to use our ROM date as the pin! Why he forsaken our love and our family, was it my fault to grow old, can I forgive him if he break off with that girl? -
i went to a phone shop yesterday after reading this mail and i really manage to find this OLIO 2288...... The salesman says it is a new phone...just launched. I got a set myself as it is very cheap.
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Before u confront him, make a check on all yr financial affairs- house (do u have a share), bank a/c in both names, safe deposit box, insurance, all his assets (in case u need to sue him for divorce).
Make sure he don't hide his assets.
If u don't have yr own personal bank a/c, then I suggest u go & open one.
Start transfering money from joint a/c into it.
Once u have some money, u have bargaining power. -
Originally posted by gerrykoh:Before u confront him, make a check on all yr financial affairs- house (do u have a share), bank a/c in both names, safe deposit box, insurance, all his assets (in case u need to sue him for divorce).
Make sure he don't hide his assets.
If u don't have yr own personal bank a/c, then I suggest u go & open one.
Start transfering money from joint a/c into it.
Once u have some money, u have bargaining power. Yessss.............that's right .............. it's INVESTIGATION TIME.......... dude -
time to be independent liaoz
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And it is the most painful times... I think it is better to get the 2 children...Originally posted by rachele:time to be independent liaoz