Why my husband did this to me?
-
1) calm down, don't jump to conclusions
2) make provisions for worst case scenario, esp taking into account you're not working and has no income...
3) talk to him - CALMLY
4) analyse what he said and whether you believe him or not
5) decide on course of action after careful contemplation
i know i made it sound easy and logical. also know it's not. but in times like these, it might help to have a plan of actions to follow...
whatever happens, all the best! -
I dun see anything mentioned about the message in the handphone.Originally posted by verloren:-_- Obviously you don't know how to read.. -
Originally posted by Michelle_sad:
Everybody said that IÂ’m a fortunate woman, I love him so much, I sacrifice myself, my career to become a full time house wife and birth him two child. And this is what I deserve? My husband was seeing a young girl, she was only 19yrs and IÂ’m 39yrs.
Recently he bought a new hand phone [b]Olio 2288 which he say its from USA, messages started to increase, I asked him, and he said that he was communicating with his boss, I tried checking his hp but I couldnÂ’t find anything, I donÂ’t believe it.
I went to a mobile shop and ask for the same model, IÂ’m shock when the sale assistant told me that this latest hp which got a special confidential folders feature which could stall your confidential contacts info, and when they contact you or you contact them, the normal inbox/outbox or call records show nothing, only when a pin was enter than you could read it. He was stupid to use our ROM date as the pin! Why he forsaken our love and our family, was it my fault to grow old, can I forgive him if he break off with that girl?[/b]
What the hell is that? Olio 2288? A new mobile ? I surfed the net but so far zero info. about it... helppp.........heheh... -
I'm sorry for you ,michelle , I will divorce your husband if I'm u.......Originally posted by shlp:i went to a phone shop yesterday after reading this mail and i really manage to find this OLIO 2288...... The salesman says it is a new phone...just launched. I got a set myself as it is very cheap.
Hi, shlp , This Olio 2288 sound interesting to me, could you tell me more about the Olio 2288 ,what are the Private Floder or Pin is all about?? can you post a pic?? where to get, all mobile shop selling?? I like have one too..hee... -
oh god thatz bad...maybe you can try confronting him first and see what is his reaction...if he still continues to see the little girl,then i think its time for you to leave him..
-
hi, moccaz , did you ask those mobile shops at people park complex, they alway sell excusive brands handphone?? maybe i will check it out n let you noe....Originally posted by moccaz: What the hell is that? Olio 2288? A new mobile ? I surfed the net but so far zero info. about it... helppp.........heheh... -
After reading your post, i thought of a show some how the same situation like ya. N i remember theres one way the wife handle this problem.
The wife feels theres no need to talk to him about wat happen, jus put her mind n heart with the kids n act fool. Provided tat man brings home money for house allowance, kids expense, kids schools fees n etc etc n not gettin any troubles for the family n treat the family good though he was fooling outside.
U wanna try this method? but its gonna be hard to do i guess. depends on ur character n personality.
TALK TO HIM! Confront him n ask him wat he wants. U or the young b i t c h ?
This all are not your fault, so please don bother stress this on yourself... find a way out... theres always a way out.
BEst of luck...
BLESS YA -
Opps, sorry.... the most important thing b4 u action. Know n understand wat u have n do u have any 'hou lu' ( way out ). In case, he was so obsessed with tat b i t c h n left u.
-
I suggest u stop discussing thus here in case her hubby sees this...And dont post info which could potentially make yr hubby more alert and careful...
BTW, all men think they are young..But blame their genetics...But its true men will remain young for a long long time.... -
IF her husband really fool around outside... i don think he got the time to see this. Even if he is at home... he will be busy with texting his 'beach gal' with his high tech? olio hp.
Lets hope her husband is not fooling outside la hor.
-
Hmm....But what if his beach gal happens to be a member here...She might just know that it might be her issue that we are discussing about...Afterall her Sugar Daddy caries the "holy"..err i mean olio HPOriginally posted by all_souls:IF her husband really fool around outside... i don think he got the time to see this. Even if he is at home... he will be busy with texting his 'beach gal' with his high tech? olio hp.
Lets hope her husband is not fooling outside la hor. -
Oh mann... tats even better! indirectly telling the beach gal to stop fooling around with some one else husband. This kinda gal... cant be up to any good. In the near future, either end up standing at the streets near my house ( geylang ) , ktv ( dirty kinds ) or massage parlour.Originally posted by MunnaBhai_MBBS:Hmm....But what if his beach gal happens to be a member here...She might just know that it might be her issue that we are discussing about...Afterall her Sugar Daddy caries the "holy"..err i mean olio HP
Hey but wat if tat beach gal really loves tat man ar? OMG... i don think so la rite... -
hi..i'm sorry that this has happened to you...=(
this happened to my family too!
erm. if your husband is rich, divorce him and make him pay the shan yang fei.
then you must learn to dress up also lor...don't become auntie auntie.
like my mum, now still got men woo her! wah lau eh!
then our family quite ke lian coz my father is poor then he always nv give us shan yang fei de. we are surviving on my mother's measly income of $900 a month. =(
haiz! i heard from my relatives that my father's woman controls his money and thus, he always say he's poor. the woman is also very ugly and fat. dunno why my father will like her. yucks. my mother is very chio leh..she's the most beautiful xi fu as my paternal grandmother told me. that's why so many ppl say my father siao when he had an affair with such an ugly woman.
haiz!!!!
my cousin's parents also divorced but she luckier coz her father very rich. always give them money de.
oh.
sorry...i say so much of my own situation. but my main point to you is...try to get his money and learn to dress up as a woman oozing with maturity and beauty. ^^
but then again, before you do anything, do check things out properly first....and try to control your emotions bah.
haiz!
zhuo nu ren zhen ke lian!!!!! chou nan ren! phui! -
Divorce is not the solution lah. Who don't commit mistakes? Look, which human are not attracted by and want to experience nicer things in life? Given the right opportunities, right scenarios.. will you be so sure that you won't give in to temptation??Originally posted by CBSH:I'm sorry for you ,michelle , I will divorce your husband if I'm u.......
I am not saying that it is right of him to commit such acts but to point out that his ability to withstand such temptation may no longer be that strong. In addition, human cheats because they think they can get away with it. Otherwise, he may already divorve Michelle and married that 19 yrs old and doesn't have to buy that HP.
Well.. just look at www.sammyboyforum.com and you may realised that there is a network of 'hum sap men' and info on freelance and where to get laid.
Michelle, Whatever the case is.. have a nice and calm chat with him and ask him about his plans for the family before jumping into any rush decision or making stupid actions. Keeping in mind that AIDS in Singapore are on the rise, thanks to underground pimps and informative forum like.. sammyboy..
Whatever the turn out to be, just be strong. Divorce is only the last resort. -
Sorry to hear about ur situation. I still think that divorce should be the last thing on ur mind. U should try sitting down with ur husband and have a heart to heart talk with him. Forgetting about this incident is hard. But if he admits his mistake and is willing to change, then i think everyone deserves a 2nd chance.
-
divorce shd b the last resort....
remember your wedding vows... for better or worse till death do you part....
you married a human... humans make mistakes...
confront him in a reasonable manner n try to work things out...
forgivness is divine.... its hard to forget the pain n hurt bt only wen life has made you taste the bitterness n hardship will you truly appreciate the what you have...
if you cant work things out personally between the 1 of you.. pls go seek guidance from a marriage counsellor -
Check on the money/assets first to make sure u & the kids will be well taken care of in case of divorce.
Get hold of bank statements & his pay slip.
My gf ex-husband was so despicable- he hides his assets & even want half of the hse when he didn't contribute CPF. In the end, she has to settle for no child maintenance in exchange for the hse.
In the meantime, act blur, get him occupied with the kids esp. weekends so he don't have time to entertain the girl.
Also insist he takes u out for movies/dinners. When he is out entertaining, call him & check on him.
This is to let him know u are getting suspicious, then maybe he will stop seeing the girl.
If he doesn't stop, then confront him & threaten to divorce & take the kids.
Don't keep quiet & pretend u don't know & accept it cos before long she might become his mistress & even have a kid! -
Is it me, or do i sense a lack of trust in this relationship? Somehow i feel that the guy has been, as what some other members have said, condemned to the death row before he even has a chance to explain anything.Originally posted by Michelle_sad:Everybody said that IÂ’m a fortunate woman, I love him so much, I sacrifice myself, my career to become a full time house wife and birth him two child. And this is what I deserve? My husband was seeing a young girl, she was only 19yrs and IÂ’m 39yrs.
Recently he bought a new hand phone Olio 2288 which he say its from USA, messages started to increase, I asked him, and he said that he was communicating with his boss, I tried checking his hp but I couldnÂ’t find anything, I donÂ’t believe it.
I went to a mobile shop and ask for the same model, IÂ’m shock when the sale assistant told me that this latest hp which got a special confidential folders feature which could stall your confidential contacts info, and when they contact you or you contact them, the normal inbox/outbox or call records show nothing, only when a pin was enter than you could read it. He was stupid to use our ROM date as the pin! Why he forsaken our love and our family, was it my fault to grow old, can I forgive him if he break off with that girl?
Lets look at this step by step. You said that your husband is seeing a 19 year old girl. How do you know that? Did you hear it from someone else? Or did you see it yourself?
Next. Your husband bought a phone that can store confidential messages. And you read it. All we're assuming is that you saw some 'lovey-dovey' messages sent by the 19 year old girl and your husband. We don't really know, but we're guessing that.
Okay, if that is the case. I don't see anything wrong with it. Why? Come on, every guy wants to hang out with a younger girl once a while. Even people in their 20's... they're cute and er... young. But It doesn't mean anything . Its like how guys say "Oh, if only our wives could be like that girl on tv", but once again, we know where to draw the line between fantasy and reality, and those are only words ... (though it would be good if its true).
To summarize. You need to give us more details before we can help. But if you don't want to do that, please, at the very least, talk to your husband.
Sorry for sounding stern or anything, but this is my perspective. -
hi moccaz,
i bot OLIO 2288 at one of the shop in People's Park. After I bot, I showed it to my frenz and she says she saw it selling in the ebay and classified.singnet.com.sg....it is even cheaper there....
Maybe u can check it out. Unique abt this phone is that it can store abt 300 msg. And with this secret SMS folder, I can store my boyfriend msg so that my daddy will not be able to see it....hee..... Actually, it is ok to have some privacy right? It is like u also dont want anyone to read your diary mah!
Hey! Guys can anyone tell me how to insert a pic....cos i want to show u the pic but dun know how to do it here. [/img] -
Hi there ........so sorry I don't got down to People's Park complex to get a handphone or to look a handphone, normally I will got down to other shopping centres like Orchard, Raffles Place, well you know lah... and I also don't go down to Mustaffa there also.. not my taste.. but anyway this Olio handphone sounds like something emm... "unique"..Originally posted by CBSH:hi, moccaz , did you ask those mobile shops at people park complex, they alway sell excusive brands handphone?? maybe i will check it out n let you noe....
-
Hi there ........so sorry I don't got down to People's Park complex to get a handphone or to look for a handphone, normally I will got down to other shopping centres like Orchard, Raffles Place, well you know lah... and I also don't go down to Mustaffa there also.. not my taste.. but anyway this Olio handphone sounds like something emm... "unique"..Originally posted by CBSH:hi, moccaz , did you ask those mobile shops at people park complex, they alway sell excusive brands handphone?? maybe i will check it out n let you noe.... -
x2Originally posted by skeujin:divorce shd b the last resort....
remember your wedding vows... for better or worse till death do you part....
you married a human... humans make mistakes...
confront him in a reasonable manner n try to work things out...
forgivness is divine.... its hard to forget the pain n hurt bt only wen life has made you taste the bitterness n hardship will you truly appreciate the what you have...
if you cant work things out personally between the 1 of you.. pls go seek guidance from a marriage counsellor
Think for ur kids. -
My advice to you :Originally posted by Michelle_sad:Everybody said that IÂ’m a fortunate woman, I love him so much, I sacrifice myself, my career to become a full time house wife and birth him two child. And this is what I deserve? My husband was seeing a young girl, she was only 19yrs and IÂ’m 39yrs.
Recently he bought a new hand phone Olio 2288 which he say its from USA, messages started to increase, I asked him, and he said that he was communicating with his boss, I tried checking his hp but I couldnÂ’t find anything, I donÂ’t believe it.
I went to a mobile shop and ask for the same model, IÂ’m shock when the sale assistant told me that this latest hp which got a special confidential folders feature which could stall your confidential contacts info, and when they contact you or you contact them, the normal inbox/outbox or call records show nothing, only when a pin was enter than you could read it. He was stupid to use our ROM date as the pin! Why he forsaken our love and our family, was it my fault to grow old, can I forgive him if he break off with that girl?
First and foremost: Your children must come first. I am not telling you to beg him or anything. If your husband is stupid , he will go for the girl. If he is not , he will still have the great potential to be a player . If things don't work out , you have to accept the facts and move on (separation , divorce etc).
I know you love your husband but it is time to secure something for your kids and yourself FINANCIALLY, should he want to be with another person.
Get evidence of his infidelity FIRST but do not confront him or give him any idea that you have evidence until he tells you of his intentions and admits his wrongdoing. Never ever give up the evidence to him Should he try to divorce you , that evidence will be your bargaining chip for financial security - not only for yourself but your children.
Get marriage counselling once he admits he is wrong. -
what is more important to you? your face or the marriage?
you have invested your youth in this man, are you going to let it go because of some 19 year old? is she worth your marriage?
cheating is a symptom of problems in the marriage. it is not the marriage. so work on the issues, not give up on the marriage just like that.
talk to him, give it one last try before deciding. you want to save your marriage, not punish him by walking out.
we all make mistakes but it takes two to make a mistake in any relationship. know what you have done (or not) to contribute to it.
dont give up so easily. its up to you to fight for what you want.
you have my moral support and blessings. -
Well, a lot of times we blame our partner for all the fault when a third party came along.
Sometimes, it's best to reflect whether issit you who has caused your husband to stray ?
I attended a few relationship workshop and many husband mentioned
they won't want to return home to a naggy wife, or demanding the husband
to do this or do that after a tired day at work.
I also realise full time housewife tend to be very naggy and conversation
only revolves around children, housework and gossips. Once you are out of working society, you lost that kind of connection with the world.
Sad to say physical appearance still important because men are visual animals.
I might be wrong but perhaps you should re-think about your attitude,
change in your physical appearance and start looking for a part time job
and see the world again....