is she confused? what should i do?
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I totally agree with Veloren.
You are being used as an emotional tampon (i feel kinda strange using this word.). And why buy something when you can have it for free?
Her actions have indeed shown that she is attracted to the guy, more than you. Why? Because she choose to have that unofficial relationship even though she could have a normal one with you. And how long has that been?
Think about it. Is it so hard for her to tell the guy, who doesn't meet her much at all, to say "Dood, i dun like you anymore. I'm going to elope with my ex-bf, who treats me like the way i should be treated!" or something along that line.
No. Its not hard for her at All. She just doesn't want to. And why? Why would she choose someone who can't spend time with, and have a unofficial relationship with him, than to have someone who treats her nice and all.
Its all about ATTRACTION.. Attraction for other guy > you.
Well, read my topic for more information.
And meanwhile, its your choice whether to stay or not. We have told you what we can. -
Kinda difficult to tell now...Originally posted by bensballs:hi people. i really appreciate your views and takes on everything. though i still don't know what is right or what i should do, i do believe that if we are meant to be, we would be.
just for info regarding my age. i am 18. pretty young i guess some of you might say but that's life. a friend told me something today. "i won't be able to know what is the right thing to do cause i am looking at it with my eyes and not my heart"
would appreciate more comments and take on this issue. never knew singaporeans out there can be that rational. lols
From 'SURFACE', I would guess there's a possibility that she's 'AFLOAT'? Meaning she can't settle her thoughts down properly...
You could be right on her 'rebound' part... There MIGHT be a CHANCE that she wants you yet is AFRAID to too close to you again... The current relationship she's in now with the other guy is probably just a 'cushion'... Unawaringly, might also acts as a way to make her feel 'safer' while being with you... It's like a sense of 'security'... As much as she might want to place you in a relationship, she would rather see that the other guy is 'real' and you're not... Love is less hurting when someone you don't really love too deeply disappoints you... And yup.. She's probably afraid of that 'hurt'...
Hmm... Age of her and the other guy... Star signs pls...? -
devil 1976:
what you say does make sense. she is totally unlike herself these days as compared to the past. she gets jumpy and grouchy easily though not at me but because of other things which i never really ask what.
all of us are 18. i am a scorpio she is a leo. the other guy, i have no idea at all. early april baby i think. so i guess that's an aries?? -
You attracts her rather strongly?Originally posted by bensballs:devil 1976:
what you say does make sense. she is totally unlike herself these days as compared to the past. she gets jumpy and grouchy easily though not at me but because of other things which i never really ask what.
all of us are 18. i am a scorpio she is a leo. the other guy, i have no idea at all. early april baby i think. so i guess that's an aries??
She still likes (love?) you, but things probably won't be the same again... Is she mature in your thinking? I bet not? Until at least about 5 years down the line or so, would there be a chance for recovery & patch back...? Anyway, don't pin too high on it to be a 'success' there after also...?
Why did you do the things you said you did to her? Hmm... For a moment you might be suffocating? Out of spite? Tolerance level for her has gone low? My GUESS? As much as you might love her truly, you might be having quite a hard time tolerating her temper and 'nonsense'...? How long have the 2 of you been together...?
18... Things are starting to change... And it would continue to change probably...? 23-26...? Hmm...
Currently she's probably having both of you just the sake of having the relationships...? Currently won't be a good sign... And like I've said, don't expect the situation to change for the better so soon..? And thereafter, more clashes to come in between the 2 of you... That is IF you managed to patch back?
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devil1976:
things between us have been good all the while. i was being immature on my part when i did what i did.
i don't know what to do anymore. just real sick and tired of everything. -
Originally posted by bensballs:devil1976:
things between us have been good all the while. i was being immature on my part when i did what i did.
i don't know what to do anymore. just real sick and tired of everything. ..... -
hmmm...sounds like she doing two-timer in a very nice way...Originally posted by bensballs:hi people, this is the first time i'm doing something like that so please put up with me. got this problem (nothing new.. lols) and it has been bugging me for the past 2 months or so.
my ex and i broke up abt 2.5 mths back after 3 years together. during the initial period i did not ask to get back with her cause i thought she wanted freedom and needed to spend time with her friends. just as i was abt to ask her if we could give it another shot, i realised that there was this other guy in her life. she told me they were in an "unofficial relationship" because he could not devote his time to her. she told me not to wait because she said it would be unfair to me but i told her that she is the one i know i love.
i emailed her telling her that maybe we should cut off all contact so that it would be easier for us to move on but she said she hope it would not be the last she would hear from me because i would always be someone she cares for. so from there we moved on, talked occasionally at night. meet up about once a week. she sms-es me or calls me when she has problems and sometimes its as though i don't exist. my friends tell me she is making use of me. when we go out, we still hold hands, hug and things like that so i am in a position now where i don't know what is actually going on in her mind. there was once when i sent her home she cried so hard cause she said she is very sorry that she can't make things right. during out last outing, she asked me a few questions. "if she was holding me back from anything? whether i mind this whole thing now?" i did not answer her cause i did not know what to say. as much as i want her back, i only want her to be happy. i really wonder what is on her mind now.
right now i am taking this stand. as in just standing by her side in case she needs me. many people say i am foolish but i believe those of you out there who have really love a person y'all would understand what i mean. i believe that i need to mention that i let her down greatly before and she lost alot (if not all) of trust for me. but since then i have been trying to make up to her cause i know she is the missing rib. but then this had to happen. what do you people think? kind comments appreciated.
maybe i'm wrong too but......
perhap ask her and her unofficial guy out to hangout with you and u'll have a clearer picture of what going on... see if she still hold ur hand or what so ever..... or she holding the others....
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freekick:
haha, 2-timing in a nice way. i guess so probably. about hanging out with them.. eh.. i don't think so at this point of time. haha.
just met her for dinner last night. went over cause she wasn't feeling well. as unfair as it might be to me, i guess i will just be there for her and at the same time just let nature take its course. if another girl comes along then so be it. if not, then i won't actively hunt at this point of time. ahha.