Saying sorry..
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Hmm, I think i got discuss this before, but nehmind..just for general discussion sake
For me, when someone wants to say sorry, he apologise unreservedly. Saying sorry is a show of one repentance and acknowledgement of one mistake. Its usually fruitless and uneccessary if one say "I am sorry..but I am still correct...I am sorry..but you shouldnt have done that..I am sorry..but..".
Anyone who apologise, i do acknowledge he is keen to make up for any disagreement, but most importantly, is he really fully aware people might be more interested in some actions, some show of full unreserved acknowledgement of mistake, than some forms of compensation like an apology, monies, other sort of benefits? This specially apply for really serious disagreement or long term brawls..not those "Oops, sorry I broke your favourite chinaware..sorry if this statement offend u" sorta immediate acknowledgement of own faults thingie.
I mean, for me seriously, an apology is not the end which i expected or hope for in certain situations, some situations require some show of actions, and most of all, since an apology must be treated seriously, it should be an wholly unreserved one.
Otherwise, actually i am allright if someone dont apologise at all, instead of making reserved, conditional apology, which is kinda worse. Like my JC Physics tutor alway say, sorry has lost its meaning. Its time to give value to it.
Hmm, the above is my opinion only. Anyone has theirs to share?
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agree with ah lau
worse is when even after u sincerely apologised, the other person still does not forgive u...
this is bad...really bad.....
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I am sorry, I have nothing to share.
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hmm, well, different situations require different form of show of sincerity..besides, all sincere apologies need not forgiveness to be reciprocated..i mean, in the first place, there might not be any blame, or the injured party really does not seek an apology, or the injured party doesnt care at all, etc etc..Originally posted by poon cho tang:agree with ah lau
worse is when even after u sincerely apologised, the other person still does not forgive u...
this is bad...really bad..... -
Most truths are so naked that people feel sorry for them and cover them up, at least a little bit.... Be nice is better than sorry...Originally posted by laurence82:Hmm, I think i got discuss this before, but nehmind..just for general discussion sake
For me, when someone wants to say sorry, he apologise unreservedly. Saying sorry is a show of one repentance and acknowledgement of one mistake. Its usually fruitless and uneccessary if one say "I am sorry..but I am still correct...I am sorry..but you shouldnt have done that..I am sorry..but..".
Anyone who apologise, i do acknowledge he is keen to make up for any disagreement, but most importantly, is he really fully aware people might be more interested in some actions, some show of full unreserved acknowledgement of mistake, than some forms of compensation like an apology, monies, other sort of benefits? This specially apply for really serious disagreement or long term brawls..not those "Oops, sorry I broke your favourite chinaware..sorry if this statement offend u" sorta immediate acknowledgement of own faults thingie.
I mean, for me seriously, an apology is not the end which i expected or hope for in certain situations, some situations require some show of actions, and most of all, since an apology must be treated seriously, it should be an wholly unreserved one.
Otherwise, actually i am allright if someone dont apologise at all, instead of making reserved, conditional apology, which is kinda worse. Like my JC Physics tutor alway say, sorry has lost its meaning. Its time to give value to it.
Hmm, the above is my opinion only. Anyone has theirs to share?
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ah lau now becomes a counsellor?Originally posted by laurence82:hmm, well, different situations require different form of show of sincerity..besides, all sincere apologies need not forgiveness to be reciprocated..i mean, in the first place, there might not be any blame, or the injured party really does not seek an apology, or the injured party doesnt care at all, etc etc.. -
Nah, just trying to find logic in everyday matters....Originally posted by poon cho tang:ah lau now becomes a counsellor? -
haha...sorry to disappoint u....i hv been looking for it for my past 75 yrs....sad to say when it comes to humans (homo sapiens sapiens) n human behaviour...u cannot apply logic...Originally posted by laurence82:Nah, just trying to find logic in everyday matters....
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Nay, man are reasoning, not reasonable creatures..Originally posted by poon cho tang:haha...sorry to disappoint u....i hv been looking for it for my past 75 yrs....sad to say when it comes to humans (homo sapiens sapiens) n human behaviour...u cannot apply logic...
Did you say 75 years?
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yikes...horny macaroni....revealed my ageOriginally posted by laurence82:Nay, man are reasoning, not reasonable creatures..
Did you say 75 years? -
One uncle sells prata... Another uncle also sells prata... Would the pratas taste totally the same?
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that quite a simple analogy for complex situation...Originally posted by Devil1976:One uncle sells prata... Another uncle also sells prata... Would the pratas taste totally the same?
i dont there is one-all universal solution to all problems... -
Sometimes the wrong does'nt solely falls on the person that initiate the apology first, right?
It could be a misunderstanding where both parties are/not in the wrong.
Both are just victims of circumstances.
The person who start apologising may want a truce, to start the ball rolling, so to speak.
After that, he may want to convey his point of view and probably why he reacted this way in response to the other parties' provocation. -
What's the point of saying sorry when what's done cannot be undone?
Why say sorry when it will only hurt more? -
Trueness...Words of Wisdom ring the Bell...ha ha haOriginally posted by Magnus:Sometimes the wrong does'nt solely falls on the person that initiate the apology first, right?
It could be a misunderstanding where both parties are/not in the wrong.
Both are just victims of circumstances.
The person who start apologising may want a truce, to start the ball rolling, so to speak.
After that, he may want to convey his point of view and probably why he reacted this way in response to the other parties' provocation. -
Apologies need not to be reciprocated at all times. I noe there will be social pressure on the injured party to accept, simply accepting the apologies, live and let go will make it sound simple a solution as well as get rid of everything..and everyone will go home happy, rejecting it makes the injured party sounds like some dickhead prick who is sore abt everything...
but i beg to differ....
apologies may not solve the existing problem at hand, it just gives illusion the issue is resolved, although its true everyone may be happy about it...
potential problem can be brewed again if there is no serious action taken to resolve it...
besides, the injured party may be even happier if the defaulting party doesnt even apologise at all, he sees no need too..
lilo girl is rite, for her opinion, that apology can make things even more difficult.. -
sometimes when people apologise, they just want to make themselves feel better....
especially after they had unintentionally hurt someone.... -
You are right by saying 'apologies may not solve the existing problem at hand'.Originally posted by laurence82:..apologies may not solve the existing problem at hand, it just gives illusion the issue is resolved, although its true everyone may be happy about it...
Apolgies are not meant to solve any problems. It is an admission to a mistake/problem.
it is a good start to getting the problem resolved.
Sometimes apologies need not be verbal. It can be thru actions.
Cheers.. -
Well, perhaps he/she will feel better or remains the same. Apologise because he/she feels that there is a need to apologise.Originally posted by blurger:sometimes when people apologise, they just want to make themselves feel better....
especially after they had unintentionally hurt someone....
But the someone whom he/she has done hurt to, might not or never want to hear him/her say 'sorry'.
Forgiving someone is also letting oneself go. But how many people can really forgive and forget? -
How long can you hold that baggage?
By not accepting the apology, will it make you feel better?
As in, the other party still 'owes' you?
Gotta let it go.. -
sometimes, i am not seeking apologies, just dont even wanna think abt it....Originally posted by Magnus:How long can you hold that baggage?
By not accepting the apology, will it make you feel better?
As in, the other party still 'owes' you?
Gotta let it go.. -
yeah i have apologised many times to some people who get offended easily about what i say.. even though i think they are too sensitive;Originally posted by laurence82:Hmm, I think i got discuss this before, but nehmind..just for general discussion sake
For me, when someone wants to say sorry, he apologise unreservedly. Saying sorry is a show of one repentance and acknowledgement of one mistake. Its usually fruitless and uneccessary if one say "I am sorry..but I am still correct...I am sorry..but you shouldnt have done that..I am sorry..but..".
Anyone who apologise, i do acknowledge he is keen to make up for any disagreement, but most importantly, is he really fully aware people might be more interested in some actions, some show of full unreserved acknowledgement of mistake, than some forms of compensation like an apology, monies, other sort of benefits? This specially apply for really serious disagreement or long term brawls..not those "Oops, sorry I broke your favourite chinaware..sorry if this statement offend u" sorta immediate acknowledgement of own faults thingie.
I mean, for me seriously, an apology is not the end which i expected or hope for in certain situations, some situations require some show of actions, and most of all, since an apology must be treated seriously, it should be an wholly unreserved one.
Otherwise, actually i am allright if someone dont apologise at all, instead of making reserved, conditional apology, which is kinda worse. Like my JC Physics tutor alway say, sorry has lost its meaning. Its time to give value to it.
Hmm, the above is my opinion only. Anyone has theirs to share?
e.g. in class
me: hey Y, u know how to do this question?
Y: No....*glarey look*
me: oh ok.. just tot u were the maths wiz..nvm
Y: *evil look*
me: what?
Y: U just PISSED Me off
me: hey man im sorry
Y: *walks off*
later on hours later. Me looks for him at the canteen:
me: hey sorry about that little arguement ok? *me shakes his hand*
thats it..
me walks away thinking; "Jesus christ, what a fucking weirdo, these people.." -
Well... There isn't... In fact... SORRY is such a SIMPLE WORD that everybody who uses it probably might hold quite a DIFFERENT MEANING as they speaks of it.... How you INTERPRET IT might not necessarily be the way the person who speaks of it meant it to be...?Originally posted by laurence82:that quite a simple analogy for complex situation...
i dont there is one-all universal solution to all problems...
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Then there isnt any need for it. I dont need someone to say sorry just to humour me.Originally posted by Devil1976:Well... There isn't... In fact... SORRY is such a SIMPLE WORD that everybody who uses it probably might hold quite a DIFFERENT MEANING as they speaks of it.... How you INTERPRET IT might not necessarily be the way the person who speaks of it meant it to be...?
Its just a troublesome five letter word. -
As I've said, it's just how you interpret it at times? It doesn't necessarily means that someone definitely has to be saying it just to humour you? They can be very sincere too..? You just can't fix in all into one mold.. Different people, different time... Different situation...Originally posted by laurence82:Then there isnt any need for it. I dont need someone to say sorry just to humour me.
Its just a troublesome five letter word.