Relationship based on like
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Can a relationship sustain on like, and not love?
I read somewhere that love is "taking away the hugs, the physical contact, the sweet nothings you whisper to each other, etc" and you still love that person a lot.
In that case i'm sure a lot of relationships are not love-based.
And can like, turn to love?
I wonder... -
Aaron, the statement that love begins when all touchies-feelies / feelings fade struck me hard too because it so acutely describes what folks talk about commitment and not emotions being the centre of focus in a relationship.
If this be true, it's tragic to be in any relationship because don't you agree that whoever you may end up with, you'll bound to stop feeling excited seeing him/ her one fine englightening day?
Personally, i have met someone who gave me butterflies in my stomach for more than 9 months and that says alot abt my intense feelings for him but i am forced to leave him and go back to another whom i feel mildly for. i really feel like giving up all and go be a nun.
i can't explain how trapped this feelings really is.
what's your view? -
I myself, have been feeling something for this girl who used to hurt me a while back. I don't even know if i like her enough to want to have a relationship.Originally posted by sleepycat:Aaron, the statement that love begins when all touchies-feelies / feelings fade struck me hard too because it so acutely describes what folks talk about commitment and not emotions being the centre of focus in a relationship.
If this be true, it's tragic to be in any relationship because don't you agree that whoever you may end up with, you'll bound to stop feeling excited seeing him/ her one fine englightening day?
Personally, i have met someone who gave me butterflies in my stomach for more than 9 months and that says alot abt my intense feelings for him but i am forced to leave him and go back to another whom i feel mildly for. i really feel like giving up all and go be a nun.
i can't explain how trapped this feelings really is.
what's your view?
At this time, i know that i don't Love her. I don't know if i ever love anyone actually. But i like her a lot. And should a relationship start from liking someone, is it correct?
After all, these are the relationships that break up after one side says "the feeling is gone", am i not correct?
But still, relationships are choices we make... you know what they say, if given a choice, i would rather have loved and lost, then not to have loved at all. Yet, how about like and lost?
In a world where everything is so messy, we rely on our most basic instincts to survive, and yet we can never really define Love... -
Some people belives that love and lust comes as a package.
Take away the lust. How many of you actually feel love?
If your partner stop touching you or showing affection, you will think that he/she dun love you anymore right?
so..most of the times, we got confused over lust and love. -
Hmmmm... touching and showing affection shouldn't be classified as lust i think... If it is, then i'm in lust with the girl? *horrified*Originally posted by LilO gIrL:Some people belives that love and lust comes as a package.
Take away the lust. How many of you actually feel love?
If your partner stop touching you or showing affection, you will think that he/she dun love you anymore right?
so..most of the times, we got confused over lust and love. -
Hmm.."when the feeling is gone.."
WHen the feeling was gone, i didn't even like him, much less cared about him. I didn't want to talk to him, hear his rubbish or listening to him sobbing. Ahhh well...
if you don't even like the person how can a relationship start? You don't love .. i don't know, love is used too loosely. I'm very confused writing this. Usually i'm coherent. Alright.. signing off now.. and waiting for I.c.y to come in and contribute. -
This topic has been on my mind for some time... i can't figure it out.Originally posted by Lingos:Hmm.."when the feeling is gone.."
WHen the feeling was gone, i didn't even like him, much less cared about him. I didn't want to talk to him, hear his rubbish or listening to him sobbing. Ahhh well...
if you don't even like the person how can a relationship start? You don't love .. i don't know, love is used too loosely. I'm very confused writing this. Usually i'm coherent. Alright.. signing off now.. and waiting for I.c.y to come in and contribute.
But maybe there's no right or wrong... just wanted to share opinions..~ -
hehe...now I am known as the emotional person eh?Originally posted by Lingos:Hmm.."when the feeling is gone.."
WHen the feeling was gone, i didn't even like him, much less cared about him. I didn't want to talk to him, hear his rubbish or listening to him sobbing. Ahhh well...
if you don't even like the person how can a relationship start? You don't love .. i don't know, love is used too loosely. I'm very confused writing this. Usually i'm coherent. Alright.. signing off now.. and waiting for I.c.y to come in and contribute.
Anyway think that every relationship should at least start on a 'like' basis, I do not think that love at the first sight exists. I mean, yea you can get attracted to someone at the first sight, but love is something that takes time to grow. It will only come when you know someone better, knows of his/her better side as well as his flaws, and dun tell me oh he/she is oh so perfect, every human being does have their own imperfections, otherwise they are not human. And yea, I do think sometimes the word love is used too loosely as well, that is why I tried to not use it in my post, I used like most of the time because I am not sure I have really known the guy yet. But yea, a relationship can be based on like at first, it will slowly from friendship towards something deeper, and of more physical nature
just a tot...
i.c.y -
There is no right or wrong.Originally posted by _Aaron_:This topic has been on my mind for some time... i can't figure it out.
But maybe there's no right or wrong... just wanted to share opinions..~
Only what you feel is correct. All this talk of feelings is making me dizzy. hhhehee.. I have been forced to talk about feelings all weekend, i'm also tired.
Do u love him, would you say yes if he asked you to marry him. URGH.. sometimes i hate hanging around girlfriends. -
can like turn to love?
Love should grow from like..and grow as time pass by..
You can't possibly noe a person for a short time..and being frens..suddenly tell him/her that you love him/her right? At the most, it's like..i guess.. -
here my girlfrens refuse to talk abt feelings. i wish i can have someone to discuss it wif me.Originally posted by Lingos:There is no right or wrong.
Only what you feel is correct. All this talk of feelings is making me dizzy. hhhehee.. I have been forced to talk about feelings all weekend, i'm also tired.
Do u love him, would you say yes if he asked you to marry him. URGH.. sometimes i hate hanging around girlfriends.
i.c.y -
It canot and will nv be sustain on like unless tht person u're with have the same thinking as you or else is a Nono~.Originally posted by _Aaron_:Can a relationship sustain on like, and not love?
I read somewhere that love is "taking away the hugs, the physical contact, the sweet nothings you whisper to each other, etc" and you still love that person a lot.
In that case i'm sure a lot of relationships are not love-based.
And can like, turn to love?
I wonder...
Let says you confessed this feelings to this gal and later things went wrong and the only thing tht came across ur mind is whether to just like her and noth else ? you will but does she think this way? she may have move on and start having feelings for another guy or may not. either one the feeling of likeness will fade someday..
Holding hands, feeling secure, being excited, wanting to kiss her, wishing to be in her arms, talking with her, looking into her eyes, listening to her words... etc. what is love? love is what that remains after all of these have been taken away -
Ok girlfriend i'll hook you up!!Originally posted by icyprincess:here my girlfrens refuse to talk abt feelings. i wish i can have someone to discuss it wif me.
i.c.y
Alamak, i wish they .. well one of them anyway would shuddup..
She so completely flipped when I told her that my boy asked me to marry him a few times.
URGHHHHHHHHHHHHH what is the big deal. -
well, I dun normally flip at these things, but emotions..they intrigue me. Not necessarily just about love.Originally posted by Lingos:Ok girlfriend i'll hook you up!!
Alamak, i wish they .. well one of them anyway would shuddup..
She so completely flipped when I told her that my boy asked me to marry him a few times.
URGHHHHHHHHHHHHH what is the big deal.
i.c.y -
if that's the case...
i love my bf...
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I still wish they would shuddup and not overreact. Urgh.Originally posted by icyprincess:well, I dun normally flip at these things, but emotions..they intrigue me. Not necessarily just about love.
i.c.y
WHat is intriguing? That i'm so nonchalant? ahhah.. -
As a guy, i will definately not flip at anything like that... except maybe for more extreme cases. =)Originally posted by Lingos:Ok girlfriend i'll hook you up!!
Alamak, i wish they .. well one of them anyway would shuddup..
She so completely flipped when I told her that my boy asked me to marry him a few times.
URGHHHHHHHHHHHHH what is the big deal. -
just tell em it is nothing to overact about lor.Originally posted by Lingos:I still wish they would shuddup and not overreact. Urgh.
WHat is intriguing? That i'm so nonchalant? ahhah..
I am intrigued about emotions mostly, about what trigger them, about how people can remain calm most of the time but some others are just emotional wrecks...
i.c.y -
Yeah thats why we are talking about girlfriends.Originally posted by _Aaron_:As a guy, i will definately not flip at anything like that... except maybe for more extreme cases. =)
I think she flipped out like "I CAN'T BELIEVE (My boy's name) ASKED YOu.. " two billion times.. Then she said..oh yeah we went ring shopping together. So why did she flip out if (fill in my boy's name) asked her to go ring shopping with her? That is so ridiculous.. we think that she flipped cos she so wants to be asked by her boyfriend .. or rather defacto. ahhahha.... awww well. -
Originally posted by _Aaron_:
Can a relationship sustain on like, and not love?
Possible.. But when you talk about 'like', there'll usually be a certain amount of 'love' involved... 'Like' is like a form of potential energy for 'love'... It would have to depends on the situation...
I read somewhere that love is "taking away the hugs, the physical contact, the sweet nothings you whisper to each other, etc" and you still love that person a lot.
Maybe? There're always alot of ways in which you can 'define' love... On the other hand.. Those who cannot tolerate the request for not hugging his / her partner; or physical contact; or being asked not to whisper sweet things... Are you SURE they ain't experiencing LOVE
In that case i'm sure a lot of relationships are not love-based.
Weak is the mind of many humans.. As far as a 'definition' for love might seemingly stands true.. It doesn't necessarily means that the opposite is not true... There're many types of 'love' around, and those 'definitions' you've come across just happens to be describing some of them... If I look at my father and say.. "Father is old, mature and has grey hairs...' Does that mean that those without grey hair, ain't mature and old can't be a father?
And can like, turn to love?
Yes... Obviously... -
Why would you wanna do that?Originally posted by _Aaron_:I myself, have been feeling something for this girl who used to hurt me a while back. I don't even know if i like her enough to want to have a relationship.
At this time, i know that i don't Love her. I don't know if i ever love anyone actually. But i like her a lot. And should a relationship start from liking someone, is it correct?
After all, these are the relationships that break up after one side says "the feeling is gone", am i not correct?
But still, relationships are choices we make... you know what they say, if given a choice, i would rather have loved and lost, then not to have loved at all. Yet, how about like and lost?
In a world where everything is so messy, we rely on our most basic instincts to survive, and yet we can never really define Love...
I think the GREAT thing about LOVE is not about DEFINING it... It's about EXPERIENCING IT....
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Depends on the situation...Originally posted by _Aaron_:Hmmmm... touching and showing affection shouldn't be classified as lust i think... If it is, then i'm in lust with the girl? *horrified* -
Wah devil... you end up confusing me even more...~Originally posted by Devil1976:
Well, if we can't describe love in any way, then how will we know when we have experienced it?
Sometimes i think i'm very dense when it comes to my emotions... grr... i think it must be hereditary.. -
PM me if u want to talk about love..................Originally posted by icyprincess:well, I dun normally flip at these things, but emotions..they intrigue me. Not necessarily just about love.
i.c.y -
no..u PM me ur MSN, and we will talkOriginally posted by matttang:PM me if u want to talk about love..................
i.c.y