If what you're saying are all true, he's probably just too SELFISH... Just LET HIM GO....Originally posted by Ayla:I had a lot of restrictions when i'm with him. And he's always going out without bringing me along. He's got at least 2 or 3 bach nights a week. And i got to stay home when he's out. We had tons of quarrels until 1 day, my friends told him off. He couldn't take it and broke up with me. I love him too much and pleaded for another chance to be together. And he suggested a cooling period.
Now, it's been 3 days to a month. He's still not given me an answer. During these time, we've met up twice, and we're behaving like any other normal couples. I asked him why, he told me he also cannot control himself by not holding my hand when we meet up. He says he need time, to think about alot of things.
All my friends told me 2 weeks is sufficient for whatever anger to be cooled. But then? During these time, he still restrict me on what I'm doing. He wants me to prove to him that I can change before we get back together. Wants me to tell him where i'm going too. His reason is, if the places, things and friends that i mix with is clean and "guan1 ming2 zheng4 da4", I shouldn't be afraid to let him know.
When we quarrelled about his outings last time, he also suggested a breakup. Now, he's been going out everyday without telling me too! It's only when i call him, then i discovered it from his backgrounds. I can tell that he needs time to 'make up' for the chances lost for going out when he's with me.
When i prompted the question on how long he wants me to wait, he replied by saying :"If you are that impatient, then you can don't wait..." I told him I felt insecured by his outings everyday now. What if he got to know a new girl and I'm still waiting for him in the dark? He assured me that he needs time, not to know new girls and that he would not have a new gf in this 1 year to come. He's sick of all these BGR problems...
You're kidding, right?Originally posted by Ayla:I had a lot of restrictions when i'm with him. And he's always going out without bringing me along. He's got at least 2 or 3 bach nights a week. And i got to stay home when he's out. We had tons of quarrels until 1 day, my friends told him off. He couldn't take it and broke up with me. I love him too much and pleaded for another chance to be together. And he suggested a cooling period.
Now, it's been 3 days to a month. He's still not given me an answer. During these time, we've met up twice, and we're behaving like any other normal couples. I asked him why, he told me he also cannot control himself by not holding my hand when we meet up. He says he need time, to think about alot of things.
All my friends told me 2 weeks is sufficient for whatever anger to be cooled. But then? During these time, he still restrict me on what I'm doing. He wants me to prove to him that I can change before we get back together. Wants me to tell him where i'm going too. His reason is, if the places, things and friends that i mix with is clean and "guan1 ming2 zheng4 da4", I shouldn't be afraid to let him know.
When we quarrelled about his outings last time, he also suggested a breakup. Now, he's been going out everyday without telling me too! It's only when i call him, then i discovered it from his backgrounds. I can tell that he needs time to 'make up' for the chances lost for going out when he's with me.
When i prompted the question on how long he wants me to wait, he replied by saying :"If you are that impatient, then you can don't wait..." I told him I felt insecured by his outings everyday now. What if he got to know a new girl and I'm still waiting for him in the dark? He assured me that he needs time, not to know new girls and that he would not have a new gf in this 1 year to come. He's sick of all these BGR problems...
I am not aunt agony, but from what you describe, I felt that perhaps the guy you are with is still very young ( below 25 ?), i think in some ways had not gone thru much storm in a relationship lor.Originally posted by Ayla:I had a lot of restrictions when i'm with him. And he's always going out without bringing me along. He's got at least 2 or 3 bach nights a week. And i got to stay home when he's out. We had tons of quarrels until 1 day, my friends told him off. He couldn't take it and broke up with me. I love him too much and pleaded for another chance to be together. And he suggested a cooling period.
Now, it's been 3 days to a month. He's still not given me an answer. During these time, we've met up twice, and we're behaving like any other normal couples. I asked him why, he told me he also cannot control himself by not holding my hand when we meet up. He says he need time, to think about alot of things.
All my friends told me 2 weeks is sufficient for whatever anger to be cooled. But then? During these time, he still restrict me on what I'm doing. He wants me to prove to him that I can change before we get back together. Wants me to tell him where i'm going too. His reason is, if the places, things and friends that i mix with is clean and "guan1 ming2 zheng4 da4", I shouldn't be afraid to let him know.
When we quarrelled about his outings last time, he also suggested a breakup. Now, he's been going out everyday without telling me too! It's only when i call him, then i discovered it from his backgrounds. I can tell that he needs time to 'make up' for the chances lost for going out when he's with me.
When i prompted the question on how long he wants me to wait, he replied by saying :"If you are that impatient, then you can don't wait..." I told him I felt insecured by his outings everyday now. What if he got to know a new girl and I'm still waiting for him in the dark? He assured me that he needs time, not to know new girls and that he would not have a new gf in this 1 year to come. He's sick of all these BGR problems...
I understand it's very very hard. It took me 6 mths of denial, the moreOriginally posted by Ayla:Thanks all for your help... I've always tell myself to let go, yet at the end of the day, I'm still clinging on... I felt so useless, but isn't that the way when you love someone too much? His birthday is coming soon, I hope for a reconciliation on that day because he said he will try to spend his birthday with me. But on the other hand, I know the chances are quite slim as he always put his friends in the 1st priority. I'll give it 1 more try in X'mas. If I fail, then, I'll let go of this r/s...![]()
Sounds like a control freak, who wants his 'gf or wife' to stay at home while he goes out and have fun.Originally posted by Ayla:I had a lot of restrictions when i'm with him. And he's always going out without bringing me along. He's got at least 2 or 3 bach nights a week. And i got to stay home when he's out. We had tons of quarrels until 1 day, my friends told him off. He couldn't take it and broke up with me. I love him too much and pleaded for another chance to be together. And he suggested a cooling period.
Now, it's been 3 days to a month. He's still not given me an answer. During these time, we've met up twice, and we're behaving like any other normal couples. I asked him why, he told me he also cannot control himself by not holding my hand when we meet up. He says he need time, to think about alot of things.
All my friends told me 2 weeks is sufficient for whatever anger to be cooled. But then? During these time, he still restrict me on what I'm doing. He wants me to prove to him that I can change before we get back together. Wants me to tell him where i'm going too. His reason is, if the places, things and friends that i mix with is clean and "guan1 ming2 zheng4 da4", I shouldn't be afraid to let him know.
When we quarrelled about his outings last time, he also suggested a breakup. Now, he's been going out everyday without telling me too! It's only when i call him, then i discovered it from his backgrounds. I can tell that he needs time to 'make up' for the chances lost for going out when he's with me.
When i prompted the question on how long he wants me to wait, he replied by saying :"If you are that impatient, then you can don't wait..." I told him I felt insecured by his outings everyday now. What if he got to know a new girl and I'm still waiting for him in the dark? He assured me that he needs time, not to know new girls and that he would not have a new gf in this 1 year to come. He's sick of all these BGR problems...
Originally posted by alien_04:I understand it's very very hard. It took me 6 mths of denial, the more
you want to get back, the more he will feel pressurised and refuse you.
Yes. letting him go is the best solution. If he is yours, he is yours one day. I have a friend whose bf left her for "cooling period" , 2 yrs later,
he came back. I have also heard someone waited 17 yrs. If you really love
him, you will wait unconditionally.
forgive me from saying so, but I think your friend couldn't find a better one that's why they went back to their old ones......Originally posted by alien_04:I understand it's very very hard. It took me 6 mths of denial, the more
you want to get back, the more he will feel pressurised and refuse you.
Yes. letting him go is the best solution. If he is yours, he is yours one day. I have a friend whose bf left her for "cooling period" , 2 yrs later,
he came back. I have also heard someone waited 17 yrs. If you really love
him, you will wait unconditionally.
X 2.Originally posted by Estee:remember... dun waste ur time on someone that's not willing to spend time with you.
Originally posted by temptation:forgive me from saying so, but I think your friend couldn't find a better one that's why they went back to their old ones......
and after 17 years ...... tsk tsk tsk ... i think both have a problem at finding the right ones for themselves .....
I guess when one had no choice, or the NEW choice says no to him/her ... thye jolly well have to wait ......
Guys are more of an ass hole .... does anyone really believe that the BF after 2 year came back for love .... maybe sex more likely ..... and there some many touching stories to tell a love strike girl ...... better still ...there's even a song written for it , sang by william SU ... "jiu ai hai shi jui hao" < Old flame is still the best>
no way, man? this guy is a 1st class joke. but you can still use him as a spare tyre next time. don't worry about him because you don't need someone who refuses to solve problems without facing them at the front with the subject as in you. there are many many guys in S'poreOriginally posted by Ayla:I had a lot of restrictions when i'm with him. And he's always going out without bringing me along. He's got at least 2 or 3 bach nights a week. And i got to stay home when he's out. We had tons of quarrels until 1 day, my friends told him off. He couldn't take it and broke up with me. I love him too much and pleaded for another chance to be together. And he suggested a cooling period.
Now, it's been 3 days to a month. He's still not given me an answer. During these time, we've met up twice, and we're behaving like any other normal couples. I asked him why, he told me he also cannot control himself by not holding my hand when we meet up. He says he need time, to think about alot of things.
All my friends told me 2 weeks is sufficient for whatever anger to be cooled. But then? During these time, he still restrict me on what I'm doing. He wants me to prove to him that I can change before we get back together. Wants me to tell him where i'm going too. His reason is, if the places, things and friends that i mix with is clean and "guan1 ming2 zheng4 da4", I shouldn't be afraid to let him know.
When we quarrelled about his outings last time, he also suggested a breakup. Now, he's been going out everyday without telling me too! It's only when i call him, then i discovered it from his backgrounds. I can tell that he needs time to 'make up' for the chances lost for going out when he's with me.
When i prompted the question on how long he wants me to wait, he replied by saying :"If you are that impatient, then you can don't wait..." I told him I felt insecured by his outings everyday now. What if he got to know a new girl and I'm still waiting for him in the dark? He assured me that he needs time, not to know new girls and that he would not have a new gf in this 1 year to come. He's sick of all these BGR problems...
guys are only too fond of doing those physical intimate things. it doesn't mean he loves you just because he can do those things after saying what you want to hear. he loves his pride more or you? the people who can help you now are his good friends. find out more what's really going onOriginally posted by Ayla:Actually i also thought that the actual meaning of cooling period is just a better phrase to use for breakup... But if that is the case, why would he still bother to sms me, control where I'm doing and going, holds my hand, kiss me and hugs me when we meet? I really don't understand. I asked him but he says it's hard not to show affections for me when we meet because he still loves me too. Then what is the problems? Could it be that he needs time to get over his pride which had been hurt by my friends when they told him off?