how generous can u be?
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hi juz wondering how generous can one be in terms of relationship.. can one stand ur gf/bf flirting wif other guys/gals, contacting their ex behind ur back or sometimes get to meet up wif them? wat would u do when trap in this situation? how do u feel? had heard of quite a lot of such cases so wanted to hear diff opinions ..
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i dun even want to have a partner like that
so im avoiding such r/s
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dump him.Originally posted by ~Lyn~:hi juz wondering how generous can one be in terms of relationship.. can one stand ur gf/bf flirting wif other guys/gals, contacting their ex behind ur back or sometimes get to meet up wif them...wat would u do when trap in this situation? had heard of quite a lot of cases so wanted to hear diff opinions ..
you will live better without such loser.
i.c.y -
i had once shared my bf wif another ger b4(dun think it in the wrong way k).
i guess tats the max i could get to.
but tat was the 1st n the last time i did tat.
cuz,
i realise how stupid i was.
bleah~ -
i would like him to respect me and bother to inform me if he does the above mentioned
if done w/o me knowing or perpersly dun let me know, tts it.......byebye~ -
but sometimes when u get together u dun noe abt all these.. after sometime den u learn abt it.. so by den u are stuck in this scenario..Originally posted by amuletgurl:i dun even want to have a partner like that
so im avoiding such r/s -
There is a higher probability ur partner might dump u for another one, or worse seriously having an affair.
But then again, u understand ur partner best. Its may be his/her nature to be flritatious but not really fooling around.
Some people know their partners fool around, but choose to live with it.
And when i mean fool around, its not just being flirtatious. It means having an affair, or sexual relationship. Serious... -
wat if it's a scenario where u are too deeply in love wif him and only den u learn abt all this? i believe there shld be some who encounter situations like this..Originally posted by FireIce:i would like him to respect me and bother to inform me if he does the above mentioned
if done w/o me knowing or perpersly dun let me know, tts it.......byebye~ -
i'm juz wondering wat would ur reaction be like when u are in similar situation without assuming dat i'm the one in it.. wanted to get diff views on it.. =)Originally posted by laurence82:There is a higher probability ur partner might dump u for another one, or worse seriously having an affair.
But then again, u understand ur partner best. Its may be his/her nature to be flritatious but not really fooling around.
Some people know their partners fool around, but choose to live with it.
And when i mean fool around, its not just being flirtatious. It means having an affair, or sexual relationship. Serious... -
This sucks...... dunno how to advise coz im trying to prevent it ..i always ask abt their past b4 i agree to be wif themOriginally posted by ~Lyn~:wat if it's a scenario where u are too deeply in love wif him and only den u learn abt all this? i believe there shld be some who encounter situations like this.. -
'Originally posted by tia:i had once shared my bf wif another ger b4(dun think it in the wrong way k).
i guess tats the max i could get to.
but tat was the 1st n the last time i did tat.
cuz,
i realise how stupid i was.
bleah~
i think going thru dat requires lots of courage and tolerance... it's definitely not easy and muz haf hurt u a lot.. -
I made general assumptions, i didnt view it from ur perspective..well, i dont noe u well enuff ..Originally posted by ~Lyn~:i'm juz wondering wat would ur reaction be like when u are in similar situation without assuming dat i'm the one in it.. wanted to get diff views on it.. =)
In anyway, Fireice is right. Its abt communication. I got two real life scenarios.
One is a friend of mine, abt the same age as me. His girlfriend would meet new guys and go cheong with them. He is very ok with it, in fact if they each met someone to go out to have fun with, they would at least tell each other beforehand.
As for my second friend, he seriously fools around. Worse, if he and his galfriend go out and drag me along sometimes, he can even exchange glances with other gals right behind her back literally. She knew his character, and at times she knew he really went out with another gal, meaning havin an affair, or to even have sex. By the way, he is very casual abt having casual sex.
He tried means and ways to hide it from her, but she knew. Quarrels were always ensued until one fine day they broke off. But for long time, she tolerated it, because she is really in love with him.
U see, it all depend on how well u strive to understand and communicate with ur partner. If u are one step overzealous, u might lose a good guy, and if careless, u might end up having a cassanovic burden. -
i do agree with u it's abt mutual trust and communication between the 2.. for ur first fren they bother to at least tell each other.. dats like giving the other party the basic respect.. and for the latter, due to the intention of hiding the truth, there's lots of quarelling and unhappiness which eventually ended wif a break up.. it's tough to haf a partner to understand the importance of telling the truth at times..Originally posted by laurence82:I make general assumptions, i didnt view it from ur perspective..well, i dont u well enuff ..
In anyway, Fireice is right. Its abt communication. I got two real life scenarios.
One is a friend of mine abt the same age as me. His girlfriends would meet new guys and go cheong with them. He is very ok with it, in fact if they each met someone to go out to have fun with, they would at least tell each other beforehand.
As for my second friend, he seriously fools around. Worse, if he and his galfriend go out and drag me along sometimes, he can even exchange glances with other gals right behind her back literally. She knew his character, and at times she knew he really go out with another gal, meaning havin an affair, or to even have sex. By the way, he is very casual abt having casual sex.
He tried means and ways to hide it from her, but she knew. Quarrels were always ensued until one fine day they broke off.
U see, it all depend on how well u strive to understand and communicate with ur partner. If u are one step overzealous, u might lose a good guy, and if careless, u might end up having a casanovic burden. -
yes, the keyword is re5pect.
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Sometimes you must know when to draw the line.Originally posted by ~Lyn~:hi juz wondering how generous can one be in terms of relationship.. can one stand ur gf/bf flirting wif other guys/gals, contacting their ex behind ur back or sometimes get to meet up wif them? wat would u do when trap in this situation? how do u feel? had heard of quite a lot of such cases so wanted to hear diff opinions ..
Flirting is one thing. Contacting ex behind back is one thing. This all i can accept. But going out with a guy and behaving passionately, or meeting up with many boys at once without telling me...
It all shows how much she values the relationship.
If that's how much i mean to her... then sometimes i think i would be better to move on, to find someone else who appreciates me more than her. -
hi all.. was thinking whether it's common for the other party to expect u be very generous in the above mention situation? like if u do learnt abt them doing all these behind ur back and ask them frankly abt it, will they be mad? and if given a choice to noe the truth and not noe the truth of the situation, which one will u choose?
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different situation got different case... sometime u wanna tell the truth but u scared the other party anyhow think and suspect this or that...
sometime is better to not let the other party noe,aniway i nv do anything wrong... respect does not come with only actions...
but hie my lynlyn. -
exes are meant to be exes contact for what? if he really contacting then i guess i'd really want to know the reason... if they meet up just to chat or the like then i'd feel that he's harbouring an intention to get back with her or vice versa and deem it unneccessary and hiding those meetings from me is equivalent to cheating....
flirting is another big no-no who knows he might just get serious with someone else.... no sense of security at all.... -
i trusted my ex too much, she could mix with anyone she wanted as long as she was honest with me... apparently, it was a stupid thing to do.
oh well, live and learn -
the word trust?
hav u though of ur own side? when u go out with ur ex or opposite sex frds for chit-chat to catch up with each other?
respect each other too..
but sometime if things do help get out of hand badly... den there no point keeping generous anymore. -
i felt if it's all neutral feeling no point hiding the truth. dat will be deceiving the one u love and only make ur life miserable with all the secrets u haf to keep... anyway some things can be avoided.. why bear to let the current relationship strain by contacting the person involved in the previous relationship dat is over? it's nv easy to remain as a good fren of an ex. the feeling is awkward and dat will only keep reminding u of the past.. why not leave the past and move on, start afresh and do good to the current relationship? learn from the past and improve on the current relationship? juz my point of view.. wonder if it's too childish and unreasonable expectation.. pls kindly comment.. thanks!Originally posted by ak0:different situation got different case... sometime u wanna tell the truth but u scared the other party anyhow think and suspect this or that...
sometime is better to not let the other party noe. -
well said.. next time i tell u everythingOriginally posted by ~Lyn~:i felt if it's all neutral feeling no point hiding the truth. dat will be deceiving the one u love and only make ur life miserable with all the secrets u haf to keep... anyway some things can be avoided.. why bear to let the current relationship strain by contacting the person involved in the previous relationship dat is over? it's nv easy to remain as a good fren of an ex. the feeling is awkward and dat will only keep reminding u of the past.. why not leave the past and move on, start afresh and do good to the current relationship? learn from the past and improve on the current relationship? juz my point of view.. wonder if it's too childish and unreasonable expectation.. pls kindly comment.. thanks! -
i think u can't use e word "generous".... hahaha
I definitly won't be generous... if she let mi knw, i will ask out and discuss abt tis matter... <--- see hw gd i am...
I can also ask her to fuck off in my life.... See, she already dun respect mi... TATS IT~!
Depends on e situation.... =P -
haahaa i meant da fang but dunno how to translate.. the best i could think of was generous.. so dats y.. frm guys point of view it's normally not okie for their gf to do the above mentioned but do guys expect girls to allow them to do the above mention? be more generous to them?Originally posted by ben8:i think u can't use e word "generous".... hahaha
I definitly won't be generous... if she let mi knw, i will ask out and discuss abt tis matter... <--- see hw gd i am...
I can also ask her to fuck off in my life.... See, she already dun respect mi... TATS IT~!
Depends on e situation.... =P -
hi lyn, if u dun mind i wud like to share wif u a story.
There's this loving couple in the eyes of everyone. One nite, they both went to a fren's birthday party. The guy had juz bought a new hp and his gf was so engrossed in one of the games.
Then there was a msg for the guy.
Being curious, the gf check it out b4 informing her bf as she tot it muz be 1 of his frenz who was on his way to the event.
To her surprise, the msg reads "hi, i miss u, i m on my way already, will call u when i come back okay?"
So the inquisitive gf replied the msg, asking "where r u going?"
The reply from the other party was "Genting loh, y u so forgetful? i thought i told u the other day?"
Guess how the gf feels after reading these??